AviraDeArah

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  • in reply to: R Soloveichik on girls education #2265758
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Slight issue – rav elchanan did visit YU, however he had very stern things to say about it. He also visited Torah Vodaas, and said that “YU is a bad yeshiva with a good name(rav yitzchak elchanan), and Torah Vodaas is a good yeshiva with a bad name(as it implies torah and something else, taken from a maskilish yeshiva that one of the board members was a student of)

    in reply to: Alabama’s largest hospital says it is halting IVF treatments #2265084
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Jack, it doesn’t matter what separation of church and state means to me. The reality is that no one in America spoke of it to mean that American law is completely secular until atheism became popular in the 20th century. Schools had prayers, public places had biblical imagery, there were blue laws, and judges would sometimes quote the Bible (once even the gemara).

    The first amendment doesn’t say that the country needs to be atheistic. It says that congress (not even the states…. that’s a separate issue; theoretically a state could be Christian, Muslim, etc..) shall not establish a national religion. The US cannot be a chrsitian country, but it can use christian principles, or other religious principles.

    Again, the phrase “separation” was not ever once mentioned in the first amendment or tue constitution. Please do some cursory research and challenge the common perception that you heard in 5th grade civics class. It’s simply not true.

    in reply to: Trump throws Kurds and Ukrainians under the bus, will Israel be next? #2264903
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Akuperma, i disagree; trump was very into America First, but supported Israel arguably more than any other president in modern history, and accomplished the first peace treaty and recognition of israel by an arab state in 40 years. That’s not isolationist. Besides being a pro Jewish person in general, trump also understands that Israel contributes greatly to the US, and it is in America’s best interest that Israel remains safe and prosperous.

    Re, kurds; they’re apparently pretty diverse in their beliefs as per a quick read online, but many are anti-west and anti-israel; typical Allah -akhbar nuts who might not engage in terrorism but certainly are happy when it happens.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264902
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Mods, it’s well known that rabbi soloveitchik taught girls classes in gemara; when i said im being dan lekaf zchus, i explained why i think he would do it and not be in flagrant violation of halacha – aaq said we should take his actions at face value, which would be an indictment.

    I’m sorry, my point was just not to take his words as is without checking. As you will see in his new posting, it is not what Rabbi Soloveichik said at all.

    in reply to: Trump throws Kurds and Ukrainians under the bus, will Israel be next? #2264812
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I think the comparison is way off. An alliance or promise to the kurda was out of political convenience; they’re muslims who chant “death to America” with the rest of them.

    Israel is not only an ally to Trump, but an integral ally of the US for over 70 years. Big, “huuuge” difference.

    in reply to: Alabama’s largest hospital says it is halting IVF treatments #2264811
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Jack, you’re repeating the same statement about separation pf church and state. It is not in the constitution or the 1st amendment. It’s sole mention in old American literature was in a letter. In recent decades, an increasingly secular culture and judiciary have applied it so much that most people assume it’s a constitutional principle. It isn’t, and the founding fathers did not have the image of a government devoid of religious concepts and morals.

    Before repeating yourself again, do a quick google search.

    My point about germany and the soviet union is to answer your concerns that “if we let the religious people spread their religion they’ll go after us.” It’s not just religious people that go after us, but secularists too; we are historically more likely to be targeted by secular abortionists than we are conservative Christian republicans. Secularists both on the left (soviet union) and on the right (the nazis) were worse to us than all of roman catholic christiandom.

    The government in no way limited ivf; that’s a hospital’s decision. Why are you sounding the alarm on ivf and ignoring the death of millions of babies?

    in reply to: lashon hara how bad is it #2264769
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    There are halachos about what, how and when to disclose sensitive shidduchim information. Also, savvy people don’t only call people listed on the resume.

    Regarding publicizing bad contractors, or other business related things; there are likewise many details that go into such a shailoh. Is the guy ripping off people entirely? Is he just not the best? Did he make one or two isolated mistakes? And even then, you have to abide by all of the conditions laid out in the chofetz chaim, including approaching him first, going to his rov, verifying all information first hand and not going by other people’s reports, not using unnecessarily harsh language or exaggerating. Then there are times that you can only tell people who are going to use him, but not smear him all over social media – that can impact not just him, but his family too.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264698
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Aaq, i am trying to be dan lekaf zchus; otherwise, it is a sobering indictment on rabbi soloveitchik.

    please do not accept random posts as fact

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264583
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Also, the issue here is with gemara and its meforshim, tur/beis yosef etc…i agree that a yechidah who is drawn to learning should indeed occupy herself with it, as the Gaon instructed women to learn sifrei musar – there’s likewise nothing wrong with learning drush, pulpulim on chumash, etc… The litvishe poskim hold that anything used to understand torah she’biksav is not a problem.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264582
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Halevi, being involved in academic studies do not prepare one for gemara. That’s falling into the trap that there’s a connection between the two; it’s just not true. There are 48 things which the mishnah says are necessary to understand Torah, and math and science, or just being intelligent, are not on the list. Torah study if done correctly is immersive, the production of svara, making proper diyukim, removing all preconceived notions… These are things that women are generally incapable of due to their nature, not just because women were not into academics until recently. Rav Moshe feinstein was fully aware of the state of the world when he said that women should not learn gemara; it’s a mistaken premise.

    I also think the rambam is נחית to the yerushalmi, based on what i wrote above, that he says that no women have schar for torah shebaal peh, even though only “rov” women don’t have the capabilities to learn, and i think beruriah was the machriah.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264552
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    More on jachter’s writings: he quotes r. Mayer twersky who defends rabbi yoshe ber soloveitchik teaching gemara to women by saying that he’s just extending the chofetz chaims heter that he gave to beis Yaakov to teach tanach and mussar, because what’s really the differenc? Both are agreeing that the gemara isn’t being applied – the fallacy here is that it isn’t the chofetz chaim who makes a distinction between tanach and gemara…. it’s the rambam!! Clearly, the rambam writes that torah she’biksav isn’t lechatchila, but not assur, whereas torah shebaal peh is assur!! Black and white, clear as day.

    Few halachos are as clear as this, but modern Orthodoxy charges on. Rabbi yoshe ber was a complicated person. Maybe he was just wrong and got caught up in kiekeergard, or maybe he may have done it to placate the masses; had he come out and said that it was assur, he would have lost his followers to more liberal people,even conservative.

    It could be he had to, and since the women in his community were learning apikorsus in school, they certainly weren’t ready to handle what they would view as a backward, misogynistic rule from the all-male rabbis. Maybe he felt it was pikuach nefesh, and that it’s no different than being mechalel shabbos to prevent someone from being shmadded.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264543
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Lamm was not a rabbi, he was an apikores, and rightfully called so by his peers who left YU in protest, including rabbi abba bronspiegel.

    He didn’t write that math is important because it helps you understand sukkah. He said it’s important because all knowledge is important, and that it is all from his god. And no, you would not be able to make a bracha on math to learn sukkah, because it would be a hechsher mitzvah, upon which brochos cannot be recited.

    I read the jachter article. He quotes not “rav henkin,” the gadol hador, but rather his extremely modern grandson, hertzl henkin (need i say more with a name like hertzl?) – the same unqualified “posek” who permits mixing genders and joined the “orthodox” feminists as a scholar in residence. The other posek he quotes is a zionist shu”t sefer, aseh lecha rav, which is full kf other deviant psakim. Then there’s rabbi yoshe ber and his brother – fine, so we have the modern Orthodox rabbis to prove the modern Orthodox perspective? Come on.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264522
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Aaq, rabbi yoshe ber soloveitchik writes that attributing any personality related motivation to divrei chazal is clear apikorsus. Calling rebbe eliezer “extreme” or questioning his statements about any issue, be it women or tanor achinai, is being malig al divrei chachamim and im surprised the mods allowed that to go through. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen you write – chazal are relaying the dvar Hashem. To say that anything they said was not Torah, but middos related, is nust Zechariah frankel apikorsus. Not to mention easily debunked.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264521
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Da,i didn’t say that all of them equate the two. I said they compare them, which almost all do, because that’s how they justify teaching girls gemara. If there are modern orthodox jews who do not share this particular apikorsus – gevaldig.

    Also, you’re well aware of norman lamms ideology and his statements about math requiring a birchas hatorah r”l. It is definitely a movement within modern Orthodoxy, though its more religious element does not accept it (though they don’t do a very good job at condemning it either)

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264489
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    To the point of “haba letahair mesayin..” that refers to one who is actively engaged in doing what Hashem told them to do. For a woman, it means purging all forms of inner and outer pritzus, for instance. If she begins to want to do that, she will gain immeasurable siyata dishmaya. That’s haba letahaer. It doesn’t mean that if you yourself decided that something chazal forbid or at the very least, you’ll agree, discourage, should be a mitzvah, that Hashem will protect you from the damage that can come from it that is included in chazals own statements. Lubavitchers don’t get a special shmira more than anyone else.

    Imagine for a second that you would be forbidden from learning certain things. Does that make you feel unequal to men, that it isn’t fair? Do you feel that even a tiny bit? One thing I’ve learned from chasidus is to engage in difficult, gut wrenching introspection, to identify the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of ourselves. Granted it’s human nature to get too involved in the negative, so it shouldn’t be a constant thing, but sometimes it’s good to dig deep and see….maybe i am being motivated by feminism on some level? Maybe i – myself – have been influenced by zionism after October 7? These are things we all must do.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264404
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Halevi, ok – not divrei havai, that’s the lashon harambam; the gemara’s lashon is tiflus. Is that any better?

    As for your understanding of the yerushalmi, it’s missing daatan kalos – not only is there armah, which makes them able to hide their sins, they are daatan kalos and more easily persuaded to sin than men. And that’s a constant, axiomatic principle, to which even beruriah was not immune, as rashi tells us. She thought she was above that dictum, but rebbe meir showed her how she was not. Also chachma refers to Torah, not math and science.

    And from that story, i believe that the rambam paskenex that no women at all, even the minority, havd schar for torah shebaal peh, because of the yerushalmi and the story with bruriah, even in the event that she’s from the minority which are not motzi divrei Torah ldivrei havai, because he does not qualify the “ain la schar” with anything – she, any woman, does not have schar, because she is putting herself in the same trap that ensnared bruriah.

    And you’re falling into the trap of comparing secular studies to Torah. Take a look at the “serious” “teshuvos” written by women who study gemara. They’re a complete bizayon, degrees and all. Modern Orthodox jews like to compare Torah with science – they work differently, snd anyone who’s learned Torah b’iyun knows that

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264247
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    CS, there are two halachik reasons why we don’t teach Torah to women, and neither have anything to do with their domestic responsibilities or chazals time and place.

    The first reason is that they make Torah into divrei havai.

    The second reason, in the yerushalmi, is that they’re easier to persuade than men to do an averah, and Torah makes one able to be tricky if they choose, so that’s a dangerous combination.

    My argument is according to the first reason. According to the 2nd reason, even exceptional women would not be allowed to learn, and we know what happened to beruriah in the end, and it was very much tied to that ability to persuade women. Actually, it could be for this reason that the rambam writes that no women who learn gemara have schar, because he (as is often the case) paskens like the yerushalmi and holds that even exceptional women cannot learn gemara.

    in reply to: Alabama’s largest hospital says it is halting IVF treatments #2264225
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Jack, no one banned ivf – that’s twisting the situation. A hospital acted out of fear.

    Promoting policies which prohibit abortions definitely increases kovod shomayim. Turning a blind eye or even, chas veshalom, supporting the abortionists, is a massive chilul Hashem.

    And yes, religious countries were bad to us too. Everyone has been bad to us. But the ones who killed 6 million – more than all of the pogroms put together – and the ones who shmadded millions of jews in Russia, were secularists. That needs to be stressed.

    in reply to: Alabama’s largest hospital says it is halting IVF treatments #2264104
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    “separation of church and state” is not in the constitution or the 1st amendment. It’s in a letter written by one of the founding fathers.

    The 1st amendment says that the government shall not establish a state religion. It doesn’t mean that religion plays no role in a broader sense of government, and it was not uncommon for the Bible to be quoted by judges in the 1800s.

    in reply to: Alabama’s largest hospital says it is halting IVF treatments #2264098
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Last time i checked the countries that did the most harm to judaism and jews were germany and the soviet union, both extremely secular….i guess supporting heresy and toeva because “maybe” they’ll go after jews isn’t how history works… because our job is to singularly pursue kovod shomayim without cheshbonos. Come what may.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264047
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Regarding how a woman can trust herself; we’re talking about women who grew up and/or lived with talmidei chachamim, whether it’s their fathers, brothers, or husbands. They pick up things in learning. But I don’t think any woman alive today, save maybe for some yerushalmis or people in kiryas yoel, can say that they’re clean of secular influences to the point where they can reasonably say that they won’t make such errors…and even so, it was only exceptional women bzman chazal…i don’t think anyone today would be considered on that level.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2264044
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Arso – precisely. I did not add that caveat about men because i didn’t want to distract from the thrust of the point, but yes, men are anusim mipnei hadin, forced by din to learn, whether or not they’re going to make divrei havai.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2263938
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I’d like to point out that if we go based on the reason the gemara(in bavli) gives, which is that women are מוציא דברי תורה לדברי הבאי, that it is our halachik responsibility to not do things which lead to bizayon hatorah. If a woman learns on her own – even according to those who allow it in din, is she not likewise responsible to not do something which will lead to bizayon hatorah? If she indeed is an exceptional woman, refined in mind and middos, like bruriah, then she, knowing herself and her capabilities, will not make Torah into divrei havai.

    But if a woman is not on that level and she does so, maybe the men aren’t obligated to stop her, as their obligation would be just not to teach them and cause it by their actions, but the bizayon hatorah that the woman creates when she learns and turns Torah into divrei havai is fully, squarely on her shoulders. She has violated a grave sin in her study, not a mitzvah. And that’s the reason why the rambam says that a woman only has schar by torah she’biksav, and has no schar by torah shebaal peh, because he is referring to the vast majority of women who are incapable of such study and will perforce make divrei Torah into divrei havai.

    That also leads us to another question – if most women were incapable of gemara study in the times of chazal, when people were purer and holier, to the point where they would make it divrei havai…. today’s women are any better? We’ve only dropped in our madregos since then.

    And should it enter your mind to say that “todays women are smarter!” – that’s a prime example of divrei havai right there.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2263906
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    How many people can quote a line from rav ashi off the top of their heads?

    in reply to: Gedolei Torah and Municipal Elections #2263770
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Simcha, people meet with gedolim all the time. When i was in eretz yisroel, i did too, and i wasn’t even running for office!

    It’s pretty easy…why wouldn’t they have met? I think it goes without saying.

    In addition, i can’t imagine a scenario where a frei person would be favored over a frum person in Israel. We need to scratch at whatever representation we can get in a hostile country.

    in reply to: Gedolei Torah and Municipal Elections #2263656
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Re, yiras shomayim being important in Israeli politics – a doctor doesn’t make decisions for a community, nor is he chosen as a representative.

    A political office, especially in Israel, carries with it the inherent potential for kiddush or chilul Hashem.

    in reply to: Gedolei Torah and Municipal Elections #2263651
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Simcha, one thing to have in mind is that often gedolim are misquoted.

    That being said, if they’re in fact supporting a person, why assume that it’s only because he’s charedi, and not because he’s both charedi and a good fit?

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2263516
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    CS, basically none of the chasidishe schools teach more than Chumash with Rashi, with lots of other seforim for mussar. Some chassidishe schools, including satmar, do not teach with Rashi, because that’s considered torah sheball peh according to them.

    The litvishe are very maikil and will teach tons of meforshim on tanach, but will never teach mishnayos and gemara(except pirkei avos). They hold that anything used to understand torah she’biksav isn’t an issue.

    The vast majority of ehrliche women throughout history were completely uneducated in seforim. According to you, did they all indulge in goyishe things? Chas veshalom! A girl who grows up knowing what their purpose is and who is taught the dangers of goyishe culture will not get involved in such things, whether they’re chasidishe or litvishe.

    But some girls simply don’t keep what they’re taught. And if you want to start getting into anecdotal incidents…. those with glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Have you seen what became accepted in crown heights in recent years? Are you aware of how many girls – and boys – who can rattle off sichos but are engaged in kol minei nivalah?

    A woman’s ruchnius isn’t from learning. It’s from tznius, chesed and davening. Learning Torah accomplishes everything for a man; it does very little for women. Perhaps it can be an element of avodad Hashem, but there’s a reason why it is not a chiyuv – and we know that גדול המצווה ועושה, one who does what he is obligated to do is bigger than one who does something they’re not obligated to do. It’s a basic chazal; the enthusiasm women might have over learning could be the same kind of yatzer hora that makes men more interested in chessed than learning – it’s a yatzer hora.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2263504
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    “Nesius” is a term created יש מאין. The last time there was a Nasi was in the early amoraim.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2263503
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    CS, chabad are the ones who made a contest out of yiddishkeit. Do you ever use the phrase “kiddush Lubavitch”? It refers to things that glorify the name of chabad, not necessarily Hashem. Chabad engage in otherizing the rest of klal yisroel routinely – every opportunity to spread “chasidis” to people who can’t read Hebrew, instead of teaching basic Yiddishkeit, is seized.

    Stories are constantly told of how Lubavitch missionaries or the Lubavitcher rebbe “saved the day,” to the complete exclusion of every other group in klal yisroel. Tell me, as a Lubavitcher, have you ever heard any stories about rav noach Weinberg’s kiruv activities? Have you ever heard of him at all? What about rav eliezer silver rescuing orphans from a christian compound after the Holocaust? Again, did you ever hear of his name? I’m betting not. Because if it isn’t Lubavitch, it isn’t worth mentioning.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2262926
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Haleivi, prior to yeridas hadoros and the necessitation of chadarim, Torah was primarily transferred from father to son.

    in reply to: Obama: Fraud and Destroyer of America #2262908
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    “He helped Israel” – by his last act as president being to give Palestinians billions of frozen dollars, which he knew would go to Hamas?

    “and is allowed to promote US interests in the region,” such as going on tours apologizing to the world for America?

    “Lgbt and trans people exist.” So do child molestors. Your point?

    in reply to: Ethics and Entenmann’s #2262767
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Mdd, like i said, sfaikos.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2262721
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Da, learning on their own is a different discussion. But teaching them in classrooms is clearly, universally forbidden.

    Maybe sara schnirer did – i have no idea. Maybe she skipped those parts of the Chok; does it really make a difference? She never taught gemara or mishnayos to her talmidos, nor did she instruct her trained teachers to do so either. It’s not really an important issue.

    And there were very, very few women who learned Torah throughout history. You can count them on one hand. The idea that it’s something women should aspire to when it was a very, very rare phenomenon that always accompanied intense spiritual devotion and impeccable tznius, has nothing to do with today’s women who want to learn gemara because “we can do it too” while wearing short sleeve and not covering their hair.

    in reply to: Is there a Drug Problem in the “Frum World”? #2262724
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Random, learn the first perek of Tanya; it’s very helpful to understand the profound differences between jews and goyim. Of course we have bad middos – but the tayvah of a yid is not the same as that of a goy.

    in reply to: Ethics and Entenmann’s #2262676
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Re, niddah; it’s no different than when Rav went to farmers to learn about animals. It’s likely that within their learning which related to science, they had sfaikos, much like they had sfaikos in halacha pretty often. Sometimes those sfaikos result in a taiku.

    in reply to: Ethics and Entenmann’s #2262500
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Also Hashem used the Torah as a blueprint to create the universe; if one is an expert in Torah, they per force are experts in the universe

    in reply to: Ethics and Entenmann’s #2262498
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Mdd, it’s in the rema in toras ha’olah cited earlier, maharal on beer hagolah, aruch hashulchan,maharsha in beginning of mi she’ochzu spells it out very clearly.

    Re, niddah; like i said earlier, the mesorah is clear that we don’t ignore chazal and we don’t ignore science; gedolim have been reconciling chazal snd science for millenia. I’m not familiar with that particular gemara, but i can give many such examples, such as kinnim, where rav belsky explained that “coming from sweat” refers to the scientific fact that of all egg-laying species, only lice rely on outside materials to nurture the larvae. Just as worms that grow inside a fish are considered fish, since that’s all that they’ve eaten, so too lice are considered “sweat” because that’s how they derived the nutrients necessary to hatch.

    So not only did chazal not contradict science, their statement shows a deep knowledge well beyond their era. Rav belsky had many, many such examples, but this approach is rooted in rishonim and achronim across the board.

    If you want chazals which say that they knew all there is to know about science, there’s a statement about Shmuel knowing “shvilei derakiah” from the Torah, pesukim darshened for things like the gestation period of a snake…

    Also see what i wrote above from rav chaim volozhiner about the gra’s knowledge of the scientific world, where he understood the nature of every limb of every aninal from one phat in one pasuk. Rav chaim also writes that the gaon once said that he could show philosophers all of creation and make them be machniah themselves to the chachmas hatorah.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2262459
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Da, assuming that’s true(evidence?) did she believe in her students doing so? Absolutely not! Halacha is clear that teaching most girls gemara is forbidden. There’s no machlokes rishonim. It goes from the gemara, to the rishonim, to the shulchan aruch and noseo keilim without one dissenting view.

    Until MO and its feminism. Assur gamur! Some achronim – some – say tha5 exceptional women can learn it. But who says we pasken like that?

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262365
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    So if chazal advocated for physical mussar in such terms, we would still do it nowadays. But they don’t. It’s in rishonim, who also do not give it any unconditional application. Therefore we apply conditions to those shitos – that’s besides the fact that the consensus of poskim appears to not be in accordance to those shitos.

    So to recap:

    Thus discussion, though a weak attempt at displaying my supposed hypocrisy, has nothing to do with chazal at all, as we are talking about not unqualified statements of rishonim.

    Moreover, the halacha does not follow those rishonim.

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262364
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Also, while people might change, psychological chazakos/umdenos do not. Even rabbi yoshe ber soloveitchik was staunchly opposed to any idea which questioned the application of things like טב למיתב etc.. he said these chazakos are metaphysical realities.

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262361
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Dofi, people change, hashkofa doesn’t.

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262295
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ujm, it’s not punishment. It’s forcing her or the husband to perform mitzvos, which is done across the board. It is noteworthy that the Rambam says “even with a stick” by a woman and doesn’t say “even” by men, since it’s a chidush that even beis din would use a stick to hit a woman.

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262294
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Not only ineffective*

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262267
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I’ll also add that any beis din will side with a wife who is being reprimanded by her husband with any sort of physical means

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262266
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Dofi – here’s the Rambam you’re citing. It doesn’t say that the husband forces her, it says that the beis din does. And it’s not even referring to tznius, it’s talking about not fulfilling her domestic responsibilities. “Kofin” means “we” force her, lashon rabim.

    שתמנע מלעשות מלאכה מן המלאכות שהיא חייבת לעשותן כופין אותה ועושה אפילו בשוט. טען הוא שאינה עושה והיא אומרת שאינה נמנעת מלעשות מושיבין אשה ביניהן או שכנים. ודבר זה כפי מה שיראה הדיין שאפשר בדבר

    The Rambam likewise says that beis din forces men to fulfill their requirements to their wives.

    Mod – my point was that force isn’t a bad thing in itself. Comparison wasn’t so great, but if something is advocated in the rishonim, who are we to say it’s objectively immoral? To be clear, i in no way think it’s acceptable in any circumstance for a spouse to strike one another, without exception, both because halacha doesn’t seem to follow those shitos and because it’s not only not effective but grossly harmful in our time.

    in reply to: Time for Frum Magazines to Change their Standards #2262216
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Gadol, you’re mixing up the Rambam with the sefer yereim. The latter holds that a man is allowed to physically discipline his wife. Other rishonim hold that way too, but the Rambam makes no mention of it, and neither does shulchan aruch. Like all methods of mussar, they are subject to the ultimate question of if it will work – in today’s age, and really for the past 200 years, the answer to that is a resounding “no.” It does not work. It’s not wrong in principle, because there were rishonim who mention it, and if it works to ensure that the wife adheres to halacha, why is it any different than beis din beating people to comply with halacha?

     

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2262169
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    CS… Very, very large groups of klal yisroel do not teach Torah shebaal peh to girls. Their numbers are far greater than Lubavitch. And they don’t tell girls that they’ll die for asking questions.

    And wouldn’t you know it, just like everyone else who has problems, she was magically saved by your lord and savior. Have a problem ? Go to chabad. Are you a confused teenager struggling with normal challenges? Go to chabad, they’ll fix everything. Those fuddy duddy litvishe and chasidim are all close minded and don’t have our Lord and savior to guide them, and teach them how all of your problems will disappear if you talk to him and write him letters, which he sees because he’s everywhere; he’s actually the essence of god wrapped in a body, did you know that?

    It’s a truly disgusting way of looking at the rest of klal yisroel, that we’re all broken and need your lord and savior for salvation.

    There was another group who thought that way. Didn’t end very well.

    in reply to: What 50 Shadchanim Told Me #2262083
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I also don’t think sausages are so bad either; there’s data recently that shows an increase risk for certain cancers from processed meats, but I’m not convinced. Definitely better to eat sausages that are not beef or not entirely beef, as it’s higher in saturated fat, which definitely is linked to a host of health problems.

    in reply to: Ethics and Entenmann’s #2262081
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Square, i disagree with the description of eggs on whatever list that’s from – scientists go back and forth every year or so on whether or not egg yolks are bad, if they increase “bad” cholesterol, or if they’re actually very healthy. The “one egg a day” idea is also constantly changing and is pretty outmoded. Eggs are a good source of protein if nothing else.

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