Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Mdd, I’ll look into it
Baltimore, very funny story; has a lot of chein
Pekak – i agree that telling a chosson to daven beyechidus for that reason is problematic in halacha, but who ever is told that? There are a ton of minyonim chasanim can and do daven in. What’s the issue?
Pekak, what issue is there in halacha to prohibit chasanim from davening in BMG?
Modern, no one said everything was perfect before the zionists came, but it was nothing compared to Europe. After the zionists came, it got worse than Europe too
Mdd, we see from yeshaya saying LH about the ENTIRE klal yisroel was wrong, even though he included himself with them.
We don’t have a source about a group of reshoim being in a different category. We see by adas korach that they were grouped together and called an evil group
Pekak, if BMG didn’t do that, they literally would never say tachanun
Aaq, there’s no difference between pas akum and goyishe wine – maybe it’s alright to drink and eat whatever you want if you’re doing it to be healthy?
See MB 134:1
I think you’re referring to someone who does not say the elongated tachanun on mon/thurs
He’s not called an avaryan, rather a poretz geder.That can refer to someone who has no justification for skipping the long tachanun. Chasidim have a justification for not saying it altogether.
where is this halacha stated, that theresd a difference between a rasha and a group of reshoim? haven’t seen it in chofetz chaim, but it’s been a while since i’ve been through the whole sefer.
never heard of it before
haleivi, im not the government forcing people to do things with their money.
Hashem gives people money as a pikadon, like a bank teller. It’s not “yours,” to do whatever you want with it – it’s there as a tool for avodas Hashem. Now I ask, how are vacations avodas Hashem? If you need relaxation, we live in a wonderous area of the world, where driving one hour brings you to a wonderland of nature. Driving only 15 minutes lets you see all kinds of flowers, animals in the zoo, and bodies of water. There are a million kosher activites in NYC; there’s no need to go loifenzich to far away places just to say you went there.
mdd, I bet you have no problem putting down charedim who dont go to the army or college, and learn all day.
I bet you think theyre backward, illiterate parasites who smell bad.
mdd, it is mutar to speak about reshoim,
rotzchim, poshim apikorsim, ain anu maaminim…
Syag, i never said a man can’t or shouldn’t be expected to get past disappointment. I said disappointment is bad for shidduchim, and a system which leads to disappointment will result in many failed shidduchim.
Not sure what gave you an impression of anything else
It’s from the tzemach tzedek; I’ve seen it a few times.. I can’t find the source right now
The correct term is pas palter, which is mutar, and not pas akum, which is treif, and unable to be eaten just for health improvement.
Aaq,we finally agree on something
What’s even better is to take a family vacation to the scenic prospect park and give the 3000 you would have spent to tzedaka. You’ll find you’re not stressed out, jet lagged, nor will you have whiny kids complaining about things
Snag is a hateful epithet. The tzemach tzedek wrote that hisnagdus was good for chasidus, so that the “fire of toras hanistar wouldn’t burn the toras hanigleh”
Avram, I’m against pictures too, for both tznius reasons, and the fact that it becomes a disappointment.
Being picky about looks, in itself, isn’t a big chisaron; everyone has a different teva and must combat the yetzer hora that they’re given. Women aren’t as visual. Telling a man not to be picky is just setting him up for failure.
I agree that a man shouldn’t be looking at pictures, if they must be given, they should be a normal picture shown to the boys mother, only if the boy has specific hakpados.
Omitting tachanun, chasidim hold, is to avoid being meorer dinim
I have no idea who that talmid is; i’ve learned from many chasidishe seforim, including the toldos, meor aynayim, tanya, noam elimelech, kedushas levi, sefas emes…and none of them say anything remotely close to that, chas veshalom.
damoshe, your’re reading too many things online.
Being ma’aleh the nitzotzos of kedushah that are in hirhurim asurim, is something discussed a LOT in chasidishe seforim, and is limited to….tzadikim. It’s a central theme of the meor aynayim of chernoble, and no one says not to avoid them; they say that tzadikim convert the “ahabah nefulah”, the fallen love, which went to a bad place (an issur) and elevate it into ahavas Hashem.
However, it can only be done by someone above their taavos, someone who is “libi chalal bekirbi,” i.e.m the tanya’s tzadik, as he explains in detail. If someone is still beset with taavos gashmius, he cannot elevate his thoughts higher than he is himself.
The arizal said on the pasuk by ervas achoso “chesed hu,” that there is kedushah in aveiros, but that they are “assurim” – tied down, unable to be accessed. It’s something that all the mekubalim talk about, before the baal shem.
The tanya does say, however, that one can elevate gashmius thoughts about devorim mutarim, such as tasty food.
Mdd, why did the arabs almost never bother the old yishuv, for centuries?
Because they weren’t militant and secular.
The Arabs didn’t “start” it; foreigners came to their area and looked as though they were going to take over. The chalutzim started it.
It’s not “lefty” historians, it’s literally the government archives on their website, when they released information that was previously kept classified.
The only ones who hold fast to the “Israelis were right and innocent” stance are the far right, ben gvir types. Even religious zionsits like aaron Lichtenstein’s chevra admit to zionist atrocities
Why are you surprised that a group which killed its own, as in the altalina, and were said by rav chaim to he rotzchim in the 1910, would kill goyim unjustly? Why jump to defend them?
Regarding dveikus, it’s nothing new. The Zohar says that mitzvos are “aitzos” to be davuk in Hashem. The ramban writes that that’s the goal of all the mitzvos too.
What the nefesh hachaim had an issue with is superficial dveikus, i.e. thinking about Hashem while learning. The baal hatanya in perek 5 makes it clear that the chasidishe mahalach in dveikus while learning is spiritual, it happens by itself, even though you don’t know it.
Thinking about Hashem, says the nefesh hachaim, has an important place in yiddishkeit, but it’s not something we do while learning, because it takes away your concentration.
The main hisnagdus, of the gaon, tzlach, etc…was regarding kabalah inyonim and curious actions lile davening late.
Damoshe, that’s extremely offensive. What did the baal shem tov teach that doesn’t make sense to you? You can’t dismiss half of klal yisroel, including poskim like the avnei nezer and divrei chaim, as believing in nonsense, chas veshalom.
I never said the Arabs were justified or right, i stated what caused their hatred, which had previously not been there.
The zionists weren’t “defending” themselves when they destroyed dozens of villages, massacring women and children in places like deir yassin – i definitely learned history, but not zionists version of it where they, like all other nationalists, including Germany, Japan, try to whitewash their history
I’m not getting it from Arabs either; the historican community is in agreement about this; Israeli historians themselves acknowledge now that the states original version of self defense, honor of arms, etc, was not true, and that both Arabs and zionists targeted innocent people.
Lake, that’s not true. The Arabs felt threatened by the zionists. The grand mufti told Hitler to carry out the final solution after seeing what he considered to be representatives of the “Jewish” people being cold murderers. Arab attitude towards Jews changed radically after the first wave of oath-breakers arrived.
At this point, it would probably just mean more launch bases for attacks.
If they would have stuck to the UN partition plan and given them a state in 48…we probably wouldn’t be in this mess now. Just nationalistic, territorial garbage
High school friendships are fickle and usually skin deep; you’ll find real friends when you’re an adult
It’s a big difference; we shouldn’t have either the boy or girl be disappointed in the other, especially if it’s so easy to avoid..just don’t take professional pictures, and let the boy’s mother look at a picture if it’s very important, and let her tell the boy that she’s attractive, doesn’t have whatever pet peeves he has, and ze’hu.
What’s lame about the way chazal view a chossons impression of the kallah, to the point that they suspended important gezeros to fit it?
You’re lacking subtlety and just saying that it’s fragility, and it shouldn’t be a deal breaker – i never said it’s a deal breaker, you put those words in my mouth, er, fingertips. What i said is that it’s harmful to the shidduch. I would never tell a boy to say no because of it.
Aaq, it’s for that reason that it’s only until after they’re living together for a while that the choson can see her without makeup, without it harming his impression of her.
“19 Kislev has always been celebrated in chabad with seudos, yom tov clothing, no tachnun etc. This was passed down by tradition through the 7 Chabad Rebbes and generations of Chabad families”
“It is true, however, that there is more of a fuss nowadays in regards to 19 Kislev, but that is the case with every long-held initiative Chabad offers nowadays, the reason being that the Rebbe, in general, always brought Chabad’s ideas to a much broader scale than his predecessors
Yechi, these two statements are contradictory. But it seems you agree that the last lubavitcher rebbe infalted this and other practices in chabad to a much more dramatic level.
Every year, missionaries from crown heights would come to my yeshiva on ya”t Kislev, uninvited, to a yeshiva that is not in their community. I’d spend a few minutes bashing their messianic fantasies and their arrogance in saying that their way is superior. I’d tell them, how would you feel if i came into 770 and started preaching that everyone must learn nefesh hachaim(some missionaries didn’t even know what that sefer is).
Other yeshivos weren’t as kind. They’d just throw them out or threaten to call the police if they didn’t leave.
Syag, every subtle negative feeling is detrimental to a shidduch and a marriage; one word, one facial expression, can have a lot of impact. So if a first impression is one of disappointment, coupled with the dishonesty of not being what she presented herself as, is damaging to a shidduch.
It has nothing to do with it “being on his mind” the whole date.
Syag, it’s categorically forbidden to marry a woman that a man feels put off by physically; no matter how mature and nurturing he is.
Syag, it’s a natural, chemical reaction; when you have high expectations, and they’re shattered, it impacts the proceeding relationship.
Getting a man and woman together is hard enough as it is; any slight negativity powerfully impacts the possibility of that happening.
This is why chazal allow cosmetics for a kallah who is sitting shiva, so that the first image the husband has isn’t hurt by her mournful appearance.
professional pictures are also setting singles up for disappointment; no one looks as good in real life as they do in such pictures, so the boy will feel cheated.
It only leads to more failed shidduchim
yserb, no one thought of it as a huge holiday until present-day chabad. They make big deals out of all sorts of things, including “hakhel.” And of course they think all of us need to celebrate it, because it’s not chabad, but rather Judaism that makes a big deal out of it, and don’t you want to follow Judaism?
they expect everyone else to follow them, in every regard, nothing new here.
I made a nice bracha li’ilui nishmas the maggid, and I don’t say tachanun; that’s about it
yserb, agreed! a bas yisroel’s picture doesn’t belong everywhere and to be sent around town for everyone to look at, to make jewish girls into beauty paegent contestants r”l
I think that in limited circumstances, when a boy or girl has a pet peeve physically that can be seen easily, once a shidduch is progressing towards a first date, it can be shared. but it’s not ideal
mentch, rav avigdor miller writes explicitly the opposite; that the amei haaretz were not even enough to constitute a class, and that if you wanted to insult someone in gemara times, you’d call them “reika” – empty one, one who does not have torah knowledge.
It wasn’t just vilna, it was in any major jewish city. the little ‘derfels’ had more amei haaretz, but this wasnt the majority.
damoshe – agreed
Shimon, rema is not mishnah berurah.
Mentsch, that’s not true. Most jews before haskalah were learned. See chayei odom in the hakdama, rambams schedule for an average baal habayis (8 hours a day of learning!)
Some of the rema’s quote got cut out – he says וראוי לעשות כן, it is proper to do so
It’s also proper to put ones name on plaques, המקדיש דבר לצדקה, מותר שיכתוב שמו עליו שיהא לו , says the rema, quoting the rashba.
in order to encourage others to give. Use a fake name if you’re worried about anivus, but if tzedaka is so important to you, might be a good idea to learn the halachos thereof, and not just go by aphorisms and “ethics”
halevi – in my yeshiva, the only time we skip tachanun on account of a yahrtzeit is ya”t kislev, as per rav shraga feivel’s ruling. It’s not made into a huge day, but people do put out food for tikkun.
square, do you think men and women congregating is always leshem shomayim? isnt it usually – actually, almost always – just to hang out and be untznius? thats why pizza stores and other hangouts are bad. they facilitate inappropriate relationships. the pizza stores arent holding singles events. if they did, it would be like the women on YK and tu baav; rare accomodations for rare circumstances.
“organically” – you mean they met based solely on their initial chemical reactions to one another and built a relationship around each others physical appearance, only for it to deteriorate once that appearance fades and/or the middos and hashkofda issues come out, leaving two people heartbroken and having wasted their time on a shidduch that never had potential – which could have been prevented had they used a shadchon/intermediary.
ctl; most people i know dont use professional shadchonim either. no data on whether or not that’s a maalah. I still don’t know what drives you to continually speak about the wealth you have and the large family of wealthy people you raised.
maybe once mention what one of your children does besides make money and give it to jewish and non jewish charities?
Gadol, there already are a lot of “singles events”, which aren’t very successful.
Square, do you believe that shidduchim are hashgocha protis? Do you believe in chazals story about shlomo hamelech seeing beuach hakodesh that his daughter was supposed to marry a pauper, so he put her in a castle with armed guards, to see how Hashem would make it happen? The poor man was flown by a largs bird and dropped on the castle roof!
Hashem would have arranged those matches without the wedding, and they probably would have had better marriages too.
Mixed weddings (not, chas veshalom during the dancing) were the norm and man6 gedolim had such weddings. Doesn’t mean they were happy about it (rav moshe writes about this) or that it should be brought back.
Rav moshe further writes that it’s assur to put a lady’s section on the same level of a shul as the men’s section if the shul previously had a balcony, because it’s assur to go down a level in tznius….same thing here.
Do you want to be among those who advocate for less kedushas, less tznius?