aurora77

Hello JJCSG,

My first cousin’s Crohn’s symptoms were improved during each of her three pregnancies. I do not know though if this improvement is common.

I was just wondering about this myself, in reference to Shabbos and preparing for the hurricane. Are there exceptions to not working on Shabbos that apply if one must prepare for an impending, potential weather crisis? I know there is still most of Sunday before things really get started, but I have been hearing this weekend that the generators were already running out by Saturday in Lowes and such places. Being new to Orthodox Judaism, I am not sure what is considered acceptable practice. In all reality regarding the generator, I was already too late anyways — the waiting list is several hundred long now!

Hello marbehshalom,

Good luck to you — I hope this situation improves soon 🙂

Hello funny bone,

I agree, positive reinforcement is so key! It was hard for me to tell from the initial post what form the hitting takes — in the context of meltdowns, etc.

Yes to peace, and to peas 🙂 So much food talk tonight/this morning…I try to sleep, but I want to eat!

Hello shoe store assistant,

I have been chuckling as I read your informal survey results…in my mind’s eye, I see you asking various matrons with gaggles of children a series of questions, and as they all respond at once, you are furiously scribbling notes on a small pad of paper that you keep in your pocket. 🙂

I feel as though I have read this story before, but seeing it again, I am in awe of the dedication of these South Koreans. How inspiring that they are seeking to live an observant life in an environment that is not conducive to it! And more generally, the respect of the larger population for Jewish learning and culture is so beautiful it makes me tear up — how I wish the world was generally a place where people respected and had interest in the wonderful aspects of each other’s ways of life. I may sound sappy — sometimes late at night I wax idealistic, dreamy, and philosophical 🙂 Although the original post is a year old or more, I found it very moving as I read old threads in the Coffee Room this midnight hour…

Hello marbehshalom, Abba bar Aristotle, and Englishman,

I have run into this situation within the context of developmental delays in my child clients (I am a child advocate attorney).

I can not say that this is a situation of a developmentally delayed child, because I am not the professional who makes this kind of diagnosis. However, in my practice, I have received training from doctors and other professionals about the warning signs of developmental disorders, because part of my job entails asking the court to order certain evaluations on my children clients. Based upon my ten years of training and practice in this area, I can tell you that violent behavior in young children is one of many possible signs of a developmental disability, including various disorders on the autism spectrum. I have spent a great deal of my professional career arranging for special education services and supports for developmentally disabled children and their families.

Contrary to popular belief that persists, autism is not caused by faulty parenting. Moreover, one of the worst possible things a caregiver of an autistic child could do to address the situation is to use corporal punishment, which will only exacerbate the problem.

As some other posters have noted, it is key to get feedback from any teachers or other professionals already interacting with this child. If behavior of concern has been noticed by teachers, an assessment may well be appropriate. Children identified with certain conditions are eligible under federal law (the IDEIA) for services from preschool age (early intervention services) all the way up to age 21, if necessary.

If a child does have a developmental disability, the earlier the intervention, the greater the chance this child has for achieving to his or her fullest potential and eventually living a self-sufficient life.

When I run into this situation in my child advocacy practice, I advise the caregivers to determine if there are any other red-flag behaviors, consult with teachers and a pediatrician, and proceed accordingly from there.

I hope that these pointers are helpful.

Hello Coffee Room,

To me, it does not seem kind or constructive to respond to this poll by attacking each other. Might we focus instead on positive actions and suggestions that potentially remediate the problem?

Hello dhl144,

We were just referencing another thread where I had remarked upon ZeesKite’s consistently funny and kind postings — it really feels like her playful, warm personality lights up our Coffee Room! 🙂

Hello oomis and happy birthday!! Best wishes for your most fulfilling year ever!

I wish that I could buy you some coffee on the side of ZeesKite’s coffee birthday cake 🙂

ZeesKite, you always crack me up and make me smile!

Excellent analogy oomis! And I like to drink that symphony while listening to a classical symphony, especially as I watch the sun rise. Cheesy, but true 🙂

Hello dh1144,

I am sorry for your anxiety, and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have a hopefully heartening story to share here, but before I do, I wish you the best of luck deciding what to do and finding the answers you need by searching your heart, asking G-d, and talking with loved ones.

Now for the short story…when I was in law school ten to twelve years ago, my anxiety grew out of control. I was so overwhelmed by the anxiety, like you. I felt like Penn was often competitive in negative ways. I studied like crazy, feeling alone in a school where the lion’s share of students enter very large corporate law firms (I entered law school knowing I would be a child advocate attorney). No matter how hard I strove for academic excellence, I was an A- and B+ student. My best efforts had previously brought me the best possible grades, so I felt as if I was letting myself down. I had always been very private with my academics and felt intensely uncomfortable having fellow students asking me outright how I had done on x, y, or z, hearing ratings discussed ad nauseam around me, etc. The anxiety got to the point where I couldn’t keep my food down and had to go to the emergency room a couple times with what appeared to be seizures (later I came to find out that I was having panic attacks).

The day of my PA bar exam for which I had studied so hard, I woke up with a migraine that had a visual aura so that I didn’t have all my eyesight. I felt crushed — what was I going to do? A lot of money was lost, and more importantly I felt like my hopes and dreams were on the rocks. Even if I kept studying intensely until the next bar exam in six months, would I remember enough to pass? And even if I did, would the same anxiety-induced sickness come over me again at the crucial moment?

As hard as it was, I began a process of trying to take things a day at a time, being “in the moment,” rather than getting carried away by the “what ifs,” as is my propensity. I did the best I could for each day, studying consistently but not as to overwhelm myself when my brain was full. I put down the money for the next bar exam and fought not to think too much about it. When the time came, my mother offered to travel and stay with me for the two days in the hotel, and I will always be thankful for her presence at that time.

And then, that following February…I took the bar exam for the first time, and I passed!

That morning in July of 2002 when I woke up with tunnel vision from that migraine, I did not think that I could possibly do what I accomplished the following February. A day at a time, giving my fears and worries over to G-d, with support from my loved ones, made the difference.

Whatever you decide in your own unique and personal situation, please believe that amazing things truly are possible. I would not wish anxiety or panic attacks on anyone — they are profoundly debilitating, and your health must come first. Even still and despite those times, however, I believe that G-d has wonderful plans for us and will gently help us get there, one day at a time.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙂

Hello oomis,

That would be cool…they do say it’s a small world! It is nice when a lost friend like yours is able to find you again; it’s one of those times when you can really feel the hand of G-d in your life 🙂

Hello ZeesKite,

Perish the thought!!!! 🙂

Hello oomis,

“Flummoxed” is such a fabulous word, I agree! It brings such a vivid picture to one’s mind’s eye 🙂

Sadly I do not think we know one another, as I live a stone’s throw from the state of Delaware.

Hello yytz,

I have been reading your posts here — thank you for stimulating my thoughts on many topics! I have been mulling over what you wrote above on the discrete issue of abortion. I suspect that doctors treating pregnant women who are seeking rabbinically-sanctioned abortions for life or health reasons are not going to stop the abortions from happening. I can tell though that you seem to think otherwise, and I was wondering if you could explain to me why? Maybe there is some aspect of this situation that I have not considered yet. I had thought that Romney has been supporting exceptions for maternal life and health. I am inclined to think that doctors would interpret “health” fairly broadly — e.g., taking the mother’s emotional health into consideration in a situation where a baby would be born with Tay Sachs, for instance, covering the situations where some rabbis allow abortions due to that condition in the baby.

Hello oomis,,

I understand what you are saying. I am mystified as to why the moderators do not nip the interruptions and rude behavior during these debates in the bud. That behavior really alienates me.

Woah! I had noticed the funny date but had not thought of the time part too — I missed the am and pm both, but still think that’s pretty cool 🙂