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Whoops, I forgot that Wisey was my teammate (sorry Wisey!), so maybe I should not have tried to answer — that was why I didn’t say ZeesKite as an answer to the first question from Wisey. Yikes! 🙁
Hello aHeiligeYid,
I think it may have been Feif Un who began an advice column first — I just checked the initial posts in Popa’s thread, and I read Feif Un’s advice thread a while back.
However, Wisey did ask “who began an advice column,” rather than asking who began one first, so perhaps either Popa or Feif Un is the correct answer. Or, if Wisey was looking for an answer that included everyone who started an advice column, then maybe the correct answer is Popa and Feif Un (anyone else too of whom I may not be aware?).
Wisey, can you enlighten us please? 🙂
Hello Daniela,
I do find what the waitress said to be offensive and stereotypical. I am troubled though for the same reasons by how you describe the African American mindset as one in which “crime and prison is an adult rite” and unacceptable to decent humans of any skin color.” I am actually unsure how this part of your post came through the moderation.
The Coffee Room has at least one poster who is African American, per his story of coming to Orthodoxy from a Christian background. As offensive as your remark was to me as a Caucasian, I can not even imagine how offensive it would be to an African American person.
Negative stereotypes based on ethnicity are not acceptable or tolerable, in the CR or out in the world, no matter which group is the subject of the stereotype.
Oomis and twisted, beautifully put!
Popa, you always make me laugh! 🙂
Purplicious, you crack me up! 🙂
I want to echo oomis’ sentiment — that is the kind of caring, compassionate, and heartfelt response that exemplifies the best of humanity, in the Coffee Room and in the larger world. I hope and pray that your dire situation improves as soon as possible, that some window opens when it seems that so many various doors are locked shut.
Hello oomis,
I am glad that your access problems were resolved! Thank you for asking about me on that other thread (I was trying to remember which it was but forgot!)…I have been doing well — my mother continues to recuperate, which is very promising 🙂 How about you? Did you emerge unscathed from Sandy I hope and pray?
Hello yytz,
Thank you for explaining more to me about the Noachide laws — I am somewhat confused as to where those who follow the Noachide laws fit into Judaism…is it a splinter group of some sort? I see it referenced here on various threads and am puzzled. I hope all is going well with you 🙂
Hello purplicious,
I have worn contacts for over 20 years, and I love them — I miss my peripheral vision when I am in glasses, and with my contacts I can still see clearly underwater when I swim with goggles on. Some brands are designed for 24-hour wearing for a certain number of days or weeks, but I am guessing that yours are not. My experience with the napping and sleeping overnight in contacts is like Wolfish Musings’. I change pairs every 2 weeks. I find that, by the mid-to-late evening, my eyes tend to feel dry, even if I haven’t slept in my contacts, at which point I tend to switch to my glasses unless I go to sleep. Hope this helps! 🙂
Hello aHeiligeYid,
Will you still play with us though?
Hello Wisey,
I think that I know the answer, but I can’t answer the question because I’m on your team, right?
Oomis, I feel like a broken record, but I again love what you just said…there is so much wisdom in your posts!
Hello Wisey, I hope that I may be an asset in some way…I will try hard not to be a liability 🙂
Hello oomis, that was beautifully stated and very moving! Your story of finding your other half is inspiring.
Hello Naysberg, I am not sure if you were writing a reply to me, although it sounds as if you were referencing my post. I did not say or mean that people should not be daring to consider the fact that a prospective partner is a BT or a convert. The original poster asked about personal experiences, and I wrote about what I would want a partner to consider most important in me, not what I think other people should be doing in this regard in their relationships. If a potential partner looked at me and primarily focused on how I am not frum from birth, then this potential relationship would indeed cause me further anguish that I would not want to go through. I want to be with someone who values my other qualities more than my FFB status or lack thereof. For me, a successful partnership is based in part on at least some basic, shared priorities.
Hello aHeiligeYid,
This is an interesting concept…I do love lattes, but I would do very poorly on trivia that was related to Jewish scholarship (seeing as how I am just coming to Orthodoxy)…on the other hand, I may be a resource in the areas of classical music, the law, and animals (especially cats)…would any team want a member with such a patchy and quirky knowledge base? If so, I may be the woman for the job! 🙂
Hello silent one,
Your prayer was beautiful and poignant. I hope and pray that your son and all other souls who are struggling feel this light and love wherever they are, that G-d may reunite us all.
Hello yichusdik,
You are humbly describing what is clearly your very impressive work in this field, and I am thankful that there are people with that kind of dedication and passion doing what you are doing! A quarter of a century is a lot of experience, the kind of work that takes vision. The film venture sounds like such an amazing way to bring history alive to people through creativity. And I share your view as you expressed it about outside texts…I think it is crucial for the rest of the world to be able to hear the perspectives and points of view of Jewish scholars and people generally in so many areas!
I can hear the heartache in the post of sw33t…I am coming to Orthodoxy after discovering maternal Jewish roots (at this point, it is unclear to me if a conversion will be necessary or not). The pain of trying to carve out and excise parts of the life you have known is unreal. I wish I could find an apt way to describe it to posters here who have known only Orthodoxy and have no plans of leaving that community. My family is not even religiously observant (no church-going, etc.), but I now have to try to figure out what previously happy cyclical events I can partake in.
Perhaps if posters here could imagine something that you love doing with family, something that has no specific religious link in your family but has become somehow inextricably linked to the larger culture…maybe this activity or event has been the source of countless precious memories from as early as you can remember, and then you contemplate giving it up forever.
I am not sure what the thing is that would resonate with posters here, but I can tell you one thing that really pains me today (and tomorrow) of all days — the “baby’s first Christmas 1977” ornament that my parents formerly had me put on the tree each year, first as the oldest child. When I would see it and place it on the tree each year, I am not thinking of presents, or of the overwhelmingly excessive commercialism of this time of year, or of religious aspects of the holiday — I am remembering warm rooms full of light, love, other children, the best parents a child could ask for, and dear relatives who have passed.
I do not come from a religiously observant family, but these are my memories from my first 35 years. These are my beloved parents and family, where I have always felt loved and cherished and even now accepted as I pursue a long-hidden family identity and religion that means so, so much to me. I sometimes feel like I will have to cut myself and my life in two.
Given the anguish tied up in all of this, I personally would not want the additional anguish of having a spouse who really was looking for someone else (as Naysberg posits). Even if it is the case that I am Halachically Jewish, I will never be frum from birth. If that one characteristic is of paramount or even very high importance to a prospective spouse, then other characteristics of mine — for instance, how I discovered my Jewish soul against the odds, gave up a way of living, and adopted a new one to honor G-d, my beliefs, and a family history that was nearly lost due to the Holocaust — will not be given the crucial consideration that any soul mate should have when he thinks about why he loves, respects, and honors his other half.
Hello yichusdik,
It is good to talk with you again! I so much appreciate the time you take with me, and the kind things you said about me. Thank you for your patience in explaining things to me…I LOVE history and also am always searching to understand (my parents say that I asked “why” so much as a child that they didn’t know what to do!). The areas of historical knowledge that you are speaking of are the exact kinds of things that I was thinking of…I am fascinated by Judaism’s history and where different movements came from, when some broke off completely, etc. Finding ancient texts like the Dead Sea Scrolls fills me with excitement!!! Your work as a historian must be so fulfilling — it is profound that you do the work of uncovering, preserving, and sharing the past with humankind, so we all have the opportunity to learn from our history. Thank you again for sharing even a bit of that knowledge with me 🙂
Hello mommamia, I hope all is well with you!
You crack me up, aHeiligeYid! 🙂
Hhhmmm…many possibilities it seems. Also, I wish I could figure out what a poster last year meant by “not greasy”? I don’t know that I have ever heard someone described in that way. Perhaps a typo? …Time for a brief story…Once, back in the dawn of Internet when I was in college, I emailed a friend with a description of someone I knew, and I meant to write that the person had black hair — however, my friend e-mailed me back with a lot of question marks and wondering why I had mentioned that the person had back hair.
You know, aHeiligeYid, I should have asked that the subtitle read “loves cats and dogs” … I am as over the moon about the dogs as I am the cats, and I look forward to the day that I can live somewhere where I may have both 🙂 I hope that akuperma’s lead helps you find what you’re looking for!
Oh, I see — I am sorry to say that I do not have them. I hope you are able to round some up though 🙂
I have really learned a lot on this thread, and it is fascinating. Thank you to those who explained things to me, and I love to hear about Jewish experiences in other countries/types of governments.
I have a couple questions, related to a couple things you mentioned, ready now. Given what you said about not studying other religions, do any Orthodox Jewish scholars (at universities for instance) study other world religions in the context of writing about or researching world history? It kind of sounds like this kind of thing would not be allowed, but what if the study/writing/research is done with the purpose of better understanding causes and effects in history, especially Jewish history across the millennia?
For the non-Jewish people who follow the seven Noachide laws, are they allowed to go further and take up some more of the Jewish obligations, for example keeping the Sabbath?
Regarding weddings, can an Orthodox Jew attend (I don’t mean partake in any of the ritual aspects of, but be present and silent at) an extended family member’s or friend’s wedding if it occurs in a church?
I understand what you said about there being no one deity who satisfies all of the world’s people’s idea of what a deity is. That being said, when people of different faith backgrounds gather at a vigil, for instance, and a representative of each group speaks in general terms about the love of G-d for people and praying for others’ comfort in times of grief and sorrow, does this kind of event jeopardize the separateness of which you spoke?
Wow, now I see that I asked a lot of different questions — sorry original poster!! I will either start a new thread, or if anyone who wants to discuss these questions feels so inclined, please feel free to open a new thread, and I’ll be by to chat! 🙂
Whenever I hear those three Yiddish words, I think of the Three Stooges! 🙂
Hello ready now,
What do you mean by “interfaith”? When I hear that word, I tend to think of situations where clergy or leaders of different religious groups come together at public events to offer prayers, blessings, and consolations (e.g., the ceremony that was just held regarding the horrific school shooting). I always find those events so profoundly moving to watch and listen to on the news. I sense that you must be referring to something else?
Hello aHeiligeYid,
I checked on spark notes’ and Cliffs Notes’ websites and could not find a summary at either site for that book. I hope you will be able to come across something helpful somewhere though!
I’ve been thinking…the question in the original post would be a great one to ask the Coffee Room’s resident advice columnist, Popa bar Abby 🙂
Hello rtabs,
When I saw your thread named “marriage,” I was not expecting the post you opened with. You surprised me!
Thank you zahavasdad and yytz for those suggestions — I will check them out! — and that beautiful quote 🙂
Hello mra01385,
It boggles my mind how much violence pervades our culture(s), even when we try hard to screen it out, as it were. Children are so impressionable, with minds like little sponges, absorbing their environments. I grieve for their loss of innocence when violence enters their world.
Thank you oomis and zahavasdad 🙂 The 23rd Psalm is my very favorite — it was my Mom Mom’s too. I find it so comforting…it must be just beautiful in Hebrew!
It is truly frightening how many sick people there are out there, as MorahRach noted. CNN is reporting that the Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms, Tobacco, and Explosives has confirmed that the mother recently took Adam Lanza to a gun range for target practice…I am trying to wrap my mind around someone doing this, when (according to Adam’s brother), the gunman had a personality disorder. I can’t understand this.
Great! Thank you zahavasdad, I always appreciate your help 🙂
I do not know yet how to say Tehillim as I make my way to Judaism, but my thoughts and prayers are with Noah and his family. Are there verses from the Bible (like Psalm 23) that are part of Tehillim that I might say? Thank you for any suggestions!
Wow Popa, that is awesome, I will have to check out this Fabio’s show…thank you!
Popa, this is very impressive, you have some real culinary skill here. Did you learn your baking skills from your family members, or have you learned more on your own as as adult? I go through phases where I try to develop my culinary repertoire as an adult and am wondering if you have any recommendations generally…particular cookbooks etc? Thank you for any suggestions that you may have…perhaps I should have written on the Popa bar Abby thread!
I feel a strong moral imperative to say prayers for and offer help to suffering people, Jewish or not, where I can. I have a Catholic relative who went to a concentration camp to protest how Jews were being treated by the Nazis…it is absolutely necessary to reach out to help the rest of humanity. We are all G-d’s creations.
Hello sw33t,
I just wanted to add my voice to those others here supporting you in your bravery and humanity, speaking out as you have so that other survivors feel more comfortable coming forward. You have done a wonderful thing by doing so, and I pray that every day of your recovery brings you greater peace and comfort.