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I went out with my bashert 5 times before we got engaged. we alternated between 2 hotel lobbies. If you know that is where you will be going, and think you will run out of things to say, prepare a list beforehand of topics you would like to talk about! No, it won’t be taking away from being “yourself” or being “natural”. it’s called being prepared. When you are on a date, you are on the spot and under pressure. If you have a general list in your head of 10-20 topics you could bring up, you will be able to avoid most awkward pauses and have a pleasant conversation. Worked for me!
Also, by the third date, we wanted to get to know each other a bit better, so we brought along a deck of cards with questions (don’t remember the name of the game) – who is your role model, what is your fondest childhood memory, etc etc. We also took a look at a book describing different personality types (dont remember the name, its quite popular) and tried to explain which type best described us.
By the fourth date, the shadchan put pressure on my (not-yet) husband to take me out somewhere more interesting and suggested miniature golf. We were in the car set to drive there, when we discovered that we both were really not interested, so we went back to the hotel 🙂
The point is, if you are prepared with topics and questions, hotels are not evil, can even be a pleasant atmosphere. And don’t let the shadchan/best friend/parents pressure you into going somewhere more exciting – discuss it with your date!
oif simchos!
i think i recall hearing a reason for this once. something about the middah of din being stronger than rachamim at night, and therefore, not a prudential time to daven for sick people, unless its a time-critical emergency. i’m not big on kabbalah so i can’t elaborate, only repeat what i heard.
what age pre-school are you referring to? 2 and 3-year olds, there really is no reason. but beyond that, they start to make meaningful friendships. can you not imagine a four-year-old having a best friend (a boy in her preschool) who perhaps also lives down the block… now because they live so close they meet in the part, etc, they remain good buddies… what do you say at 5, 6, 7 years old? sorry, meidele, this friendship really has to stop?! I’m talking from experience, I have a niece in exactly this situation. A neighbor who was in the same pre-school, and now her mother does not know how to separate them (and they are getting older…)
1. i understand the lyrics. it is a song of mussar, and the battle between the nefesh and the guf, which the author feels is a losing battle, not necessarily talking about physical death. the website i posted before has a nice explanation on the left side of the page (scroll to the bottom, after the history of the song).
2. the name of which website?
3. the recording on that site is not so nice, but i think the tune itself is accurate. incidentally, R’ Kaplan zt”l did not compose that tune, it just happens to be the most popular one to sing it with… (again, see the info on the website).
http://www.piyut.org.il/textual/701.html
according to wikipedia, he wrote it when he was seventeen years old (not right before he was niftar)
my doctor recommended the flu shot for me (pregnant), as being high-risk for flu. the pediatrician that i spoke to told me the health ministry recommends (though not strongly recommends, as they do for pregnant ladies) giving the shot to babies. however his personal opinion was not to give it, as it was not tested enough on small children. he said to only give the regular flue shot to the baby.
If the idea is to prevent the girls from going overboard after being restricted throughout the school years from wearing any makeup – the solution is obviously not to bribe them, and present it as a chumrah (which is wrong on both accounts!)… How’s this… Instead of giving the money to the girls, let them hire makeup artists of theri choosing, and offer the girls free makeup application for the wedding day. The girls get to have the makeup done for free, look beautiful for their chassanim, and all under the shemirah of the school (so they can make sure it is done with chein and not over-applied).