Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Minor cases can be dealt with the help of good credit counseling, there is a frum organization in Lakewood called Mesilah??? which helps stay on top of budgeting etc.
COJO has this service and has other connections to help with credit counseling.
If this relative also suffers from eating disorders or depression and this is the cause of the bingeing, they should join any 12 step program. Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski has a 12 step book with a Torah hashkafah. Contact OHEL or Dr. Bentzion Twerski for a reccomendation.
Your relative should have the strength to overcome without experiencing pain.
MMS601 and all others affected by this issue:
1] Mail a printout of this entire thread to the store owner.
2] Mail a printout of this entire thread to the store MANAGER.
A WISE store owner will understand that his staff needs RE-Training in Customer Service. He would have the ability to correct the issue WITHOUT names being named. As they say chacham einav beroishoi.
As for the store manager, unless someone puts the clamps on his behaviors it is unlikely he will see a need to change. It’s time to protest Avizreiah Degilui Arayos.
This thread is really great!
A great lesson is to investigate things and not just jump into something simply because Ehrliche Joe told you so. Before you judge someone’s actions find out the other side of the equation.
Customer Service:
Customers come first over anything else going on in the shop. If a customer needs a price, youfind it out for them. If the shelf is not stocked or the product is too high up, you get it for them.
This is standard customer service at WalMart, Jewel, Shoprite, etc.
Asking about a customer’s family, asking if their husband is in town, giving a rolling commentary about how female shoppers dress, and hovering over female shoppers is NOT called customer service. If this happened in a NON-HEIMISHE STORE, the MANAGER WOULD BE FIRED. Only because it’s a frum store people don’t feel like making waves.
EDITED
Have your wife shop elsewhere, better safe than sorry.
Going to a rav is likely pointless and so is talking with the manager. This is sadly often the case that the rav of a chessed organization feels bad for the shlepper who already messed up other companies and asked the owner to hire the bulvan to be a m-e-n-eger, sohis esteem will rise in his wife’s eyes. Stay away and have your friends watch out too.
Moderators:
The conversation has now effectively deteriorated to a point of no return and all benefits from this thread have been exhausted.
I submit a motion to close this thread!!
doesn’t matter if the rabbi has a seruv issued on him (signed by 8 dayanim including Rav Belsky shlita):
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
If 8 dayanim were involved you know as well as any logical person who has EVER had dealings witha Bais Din before knows, it’s all POLITICS. A seruv is not something that should be a part of the equation.
If you have a PERSONAL problem with this rabbi, DEAL WITH HIM as you see fit. It is quite apparent that this is a PERSONAL issue and really has no place being discussed in the public forum.
Refer back to my first response to you on the thread.
Again, how many Chabad shuls in yehupitz have 10 Shomer Shabbos men? All you need is 10 males over the age of 13 to make a quorum.
SJS:
Adulterous affairs are verifiable. Taharas mishpacha doesn’t mean harchakos etc., it means the basics every 10 year old kid understands.
cherrybim:
You are making a cholent out a straightforward traditionally defined translation of the MINIMAL requirements of frumkeit. They are:
*Shabbos
*Kashrus
*Taharas Mishpacha
A person can be the most tzanua person, but eating chicken from a Puerto Rican bodega makes that person NOT FRUM.
A person can host parlor meetings galor and have every gadol sign your guest book as an erliche yid, but if you break the laws of tahara mishpacha, that person is NOT FRUM.
A peron can ask shailos and all that but when crunch time comes and the six million dollar deal has to be signed at 8:55 Friday night or six months of work go down the drain, they give in and are Michallel Shabbos, that person is NOT FRUM.
His thoughts are with us here in Chicago.
Is it possible to have a minyan come over to lein the Aseres Hadibros at his bedside? Please try and arrange it, there are still a few hours till Yom Tov. All people were healed by Ma’amad Har Sinai, and he should also be completely healed by hearing the parsha of kabalas haTorah.
May your brother merit a complete recovery tomorrow and spend time with his wife and family before returning to the bais medrash.
notrichenough: This is like a ‘minyan’ for 5th graders. It is only to let the egalitarianized women feel they have a say. It is a ceremonious minyan, NOT a minyan in a halachic sense.
Chalav Stam or Cholov Yisrael??!!
What you were describing are Reform temples, which is why I got upset. Whether or not you feel comfortable in a modern Orthodox shul, don’t think that they are Reform or Conservative. In Chicago alone some of the most yeshivishe askanim who support many mosdos worldwide are ONLY frum today because of their involvement in modern Orthodox youth programs.
da: Since such a thing does not happen during the REGULAR tefillos it’s kind of a moot point. Yes, there is a very left leaning ORTHODOX shul which has a SEPERATE WOMEN ONLY minyan. Obviously, as a male, you would have no place in that minyan, so it’s not nogeiah to you anyways!!
By the way I am VERY, VERY proud that you never mentioned Young Israel. My mistake, I owe you a freeze pop!!!
da: Kindly READ what I wrote. If genders are s-e-p-e-r-a-t-e-d isn’t it self evident that no aliyos will be given to women during the services? Isn’t it self evident that the chazzan/rabbi won’t be women?
Zero seperate gender synagogues have musical accompainiment on Shabbos. What English tefillos are you talking about?
Let me clue you in: Young Israel is NOT Reform!
If there are 10 Jewish males over the age of 13 sitting seperate from the women that is called a kosher shul.
Chessedname: Since this is entertainment of a hashkafic nature it would require a haskamah. This movie has NO rabbinic haskamah. The rabbanim must know more than the average viewer.
On a ‘hashkafic’ level it doesn’t work this way. Each person is accountable for their OWN actions. HOWEVER, using the communal responsibility of ‘all Jews are responsible for each other’, you are correct that EVERY Jew has a collective responsibility to make everyone the best they can be.
EXAMPLE: Joe was bullied by his classmate, Chaim. The school did nothing to Chaim because his father was the Chairman of the Board, and instead blamed Jow for not being able to fight back. After more hypocritical situations, Joe left Yiddishkeit. Joe is responsible for his actions (he will likely be found Not Guilty due to mitigating circumstances). At the same time society who allowed the administrator to remain, Chaim the bully, and the board who allowed Chaim’s father to remain it’s Chairman are all COLLECTIVELY responsible for the outcome.
On a PRACTICAL level, there are very few people who are willing and able to be Nachshon and jump into the water against the tide. All COLLECTIVE/GROUP THINK BEGINS WITH AN INDIVIDUAL. There is certainly movement and an overwhelming agreement among many in the frum world against abuse of all types.
EDITED
Hatzlacha and Mazal to the person looking for the job.
It may be worth your while to follow up with a company that interviewed him or saw his resume and find out what their concerns are. Given the fluent language abilities of the person, it sounds like someone from Antwerp. This is an area of concern to the hiring manager: “Is “Yankel” able to pass the I-9 requirements for employment, or will he spring on me last second that he wants my company to sponsor him. You know what, I’ll take a pass, even if he happens to be Einstein. I don’t have the patience to deal with this”
This might be something to look into, IF the position is still not filled:
Family man…sounds like a guy leaving kollel with four/five kids looking for his first job.
Rule 1} Starting out in this economy where McDonald burger flippers often have MA’s you won’t make the 60K salary you were dreaming of. Therefore, if you are offered a job paying 23K it’s NOT a slap in the face, it’s a legitimate job offer. Take a LOW starting salary.
Rule 2} Starting out, you won’t be getting the same vacation benefits as a person with ten years experience. You might burn all your off time with Yom Tov, never mind Chol HaMoed. It’s a tough experience but that is the working world.
Rule 3} The economy stinks, it’s not a reflection on you. Shefoch chamascha el HAGOYIM, not on people around you. By making people around you miserable, won’t make your situation easier. Chill out, and don’t personalize it.
Rule 4} SHMOOZE with EVERYBODY you see, no matter how rich or poor you might ASSUME they are. Let them know what a qualityy employee you can be, if only you were given the chance. This is why RULE 3 is so important.
AZOI.IS:
Please clarify what you mean by MULTILINGUAL (Urdu, Talalog, Spanish, Polish, etc.). Yiddish and Hebrew are of no value in the real working world.
Please enlighten is this person willing to move out of town?
He was elected to a silly corrupt CITY kvetcher job with good pay. He has no say anymore on STATE issues. He can’t be a lobbyist anymore for the yeshivas. Voters chose him for one position over the other.
Plus, with a bankrupt state and a Blaine Amendment private school funding is not going to happen.
Their is a halacha for a guest to not start a conversation with the avel and the avel should initiate. The man was giving you a pen so you will start the conversation, “Huh, what is this for???”. At that point he has the right to respond.
There are no bad motives in this story.
Without knowing the specifics of what the person is telling you, it is hard to advise. ?
The mehalech very successfully used in Chicago is to not address the mitzvos/aveiros aspect of the at-?risk behaviors and activities, he instead helps the teen regain his purpose in life by finding meaningful ?activities to engage in, the theory is once the teen is living a life again religion will follow on its own. ?Discussing schar and oneshor assur/muttar with someone who is in pain and angry is a bracha levatalah. ?
In Chicago there are street cameras which do the police work 24/7 with tickets galore being given out. For any fellow Chicagoans reading this site be aware of an increased police presence in West Rogers Park’s Devon area.
Mepal: That is the German translation of the Nirtza song, Adir Hu.
We should all try to put our personal PETTY/ Sinas Chinam differences behind us and join b’achdus to help bring the geulah quicker.
Pesach is very stressful and people act compulsively to prepare their homes. The result is extreme anxiety and frustration. This leads many people to become angry. Hiring a cleaning service for one day should have you up and running for Pesach.
EDITED, we already had a thread on staying in hotels for Pesach, it was closed.
Thankfully those two threads were finally closed today. With kavod habriyos and emunah, all girls and boys will be zoche to meet their bashert.
I have no source for this, just my gut feeling!!
EDITED
Mentors who despite having gone through terrible yisurim go on and not only lead successful lives, but use their experiences to inspire others. Teens in crisis need people they can relate to and look up to. Chicago has one such person as does almost every city.
They are an inspiration to me and this helps me get through rough days.
I feel for all parties involved.
The children lose out on the maalos of the school.
The parents have nightmares of where they can get their child a seat.
The teachers are now left without a worker identity. When a person is terminated the disilusionment is unbelievable, they feel hopeless, knock themselves, and find it hard to wake up in the morning to face a bland world. Even if they made no money doing what they did, they still enjoyed doing it, and found a purpose in life. I have heard this firsthand from other teachers who were terminated.
EDITED
The better the shadchan knows the tricky party, the more they know how to twist things in order to CONvince the other party to go for it. Shidduchim is a very scary thing.
It’s the economy.
Many people joined together for Purim at one central location to avoid the bombardment of groups and giving nice economized Mishloach Manos. Where a person lives or what they drive is meaningless, it is all really owned by the bank or payment company. When they can’t pay, it’s literally the banks home.
Stop judging people. Wake up and look around you. The landscape has changed and things aren’t pretty.
Since many Frumster matches are for close in age shidduchim…..
According to AZ, Daas Torah has already ruled close in age shidduchim must be made using ALL means neccesary. So, it’s Glatt Kosher.
But, with everything else in life, buyer beware!! Don’t trust a guy/girl by their online profile!
It sounds like you answered your own question. If a Thank You card is not yet in place….neither is Mishloach Manos. Just send an ‘In lieu of’ card.
It’s the thought that counts.
Good Heart:
As a GENERAL rule:
School therapists, Guidance counselors, Educational psychologists=ACCEPT
Marriage and Family Therapists:OFTEN Accept
Mental Health Providers (MSW, PhD., MD’s) for people suffering from mental illness: OFTEN DECLINE
While they thank you for the thoughtfullness they OFTEN DECLINE out of abundance of caution. Therapists in the OFTEN DECLINE category are excellent candidates for a nice personal thank you card and an “In lieu of” card. It is NOTHING to do with the patient, it is simply too risky in this day and age. Please understand what is trying to be relayed.
The main thing is keep smiling and have faith in the Rebono Shel Olam!
Happy Purim!!
MY APOLOGIES:
When involved in setting policies and procedures, this was my recommendation. However, I was informed of the actual code of ethics states as follows:
Therapists understand the challenges of accepting gifts from clients and recognize that in some cultures, small gifts are a token of respect and gratitude. When determining whether to accept gifts from clients therapists take into account the cultural or community practice. They also take into account the motivation of the client giving gifts and the motivation of the therapist for accepting or declining the gifts.
I WAS WRONG!
It’s kosher but when running a business it is prudent to be extra machmir!!
Please think about the following:
According to the Code of Ethics your therapist is NOT ALLOWED to accept a gift from a client or client’s family. The therapist faces sanctions upto and including loss of license. Mishloach Manos IS considered a gift, therefore if your therapist is a licensed professional and he accepts the gift it could ruin his/her professional life. Sending a Thank You card or a personalized bracha from you is no problem.
aries2756:
So you think it was a wise idea to harass the victim’s family and call them Nazis?
The organizational leadership should have done what they can behind the scenes and not have had every Joe Shmo doing their own vigilantism. The price the Jewish community willpay for such behavior is a serious thing.
Maybe dress up like a missionary with a big wooden cross and yell, “I’ll save your soul”!!
Come on now! Purim is a Jewish holiday, not Saint Patrick’s Day.
It also takes only a few wise guy baalebatim (some of whom drink too much themselves) to serve enough to keep the drinking going.
EDITED
Try the Le Cordon Bleu in Queens. 718-441-8800
Vayoiyel Moishe in Villiamsboorg! Dirt cheap and they do a nice job for the price.
Razag is supposed to be very nice and affordable.
MUCHO LOCO!!
Every school can create their own policies and procedures. They can confiscate whatever is against the policy.
If it’s a mandated policy then the rule applies to the child of the board member and donor of the building the same as the “C” student and free tuition student. However, to arbitrarily pull over a bochur at random and require him to empty his pockets is wrong.
If there is suspicion of a rule violation at least TWO adults should witness the search of property. The adminstrator and a trusted staff person of the child in question who is currently on premises, or else contact the parents.
There are laws in America that must be followed or the school and the administration could find themselves in a world of trouble. The church/state argument will not trump the legal issues in this case.
If the information is about a subjective thing keep quiet. After all different strokes for different folks.
Health (physical, mental, emotional) issues can be assumed were checked and okayed by the respective party involved. If you have new information you have no right to blab.
But, information regarding criminal activities involving the future spouse or their family MUST be revealed. Criminal behaviors can entrap and ensnare innocent people who with advance knowledge can back out of the engagement.
Some families and people are simply not marriage eligible.
Joe, that’s why I TRIED listening but was unable to.
The Place Where I Belong – Abie Rotenberg – Journeys
I’ve tried listening to the David Greenfield Show last week. All I heard was how the person across from him dropped his I-Pod, some corny laughing and a request for the first question, and nothing more.
If YWN has a service let it reflect a professional image not a slapstick comedy.
MaKesher:
“With today’s society in mind, what can be done about the low level of academics and Derech Eretz being shown in many schools?”
HOME RUN!!!
What is needed is very simple. The school must have administration who BELIEVES in education. The administration must enforce derech eretz in the afternoon as much as they enforce it with the Judaic Studies. If the English Principal doesn’t believe in the quality of services offered, he is the wrong one for the job. If the English Principal is too scared to discipline the donor’s or board member’s child, he should be terminated.
I have always been against the wealthy parents bailing their kids out of trouble caused by misbehavior. This feeds right into their ego and belief that they can weazle out of more serious things in life. By not educating your child to the norms of societal behaviors, you are teaching how to be a crook later in life where the stakes for bad behaviors are much steeper.
Icanonlytry: The point of high school education if for nothing else, is to get a diploma. Without the requisite courses determined by the accrediting body, all the school can offer is a piece of paper NOT a diploma. No diploma, no college options, no college…..
As it stands now, the Senate bill eliminated the Public Option. This bill calls for the expansion of Medicare down to 55 for those without insurance. Medicaid will remain the same.
This will blow up in the House. The House voted by 2 (two) measly votes to let the bill see the light of day, ONLY on the strength of the “Vibrant” Public Option. Now that has been effectively eliminated, it appears that hopefully ObamaCare is dead too. It’s good to fail on his Signature Issue. As he fell on this issue, he should fail on all his other ideas as well.
Now Socialist Obama can focus more on stimulating jobs by FORCING businesses who to hire. A total loon, he is!!