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call bikur cholim I am sure they can arrange volunteers to visit you and help you out. In addition call TAG high school as well as SKA. The girls do chesed and I am sure they will be more than happy to visit and help you for their chesed hours.
Mazal tov OOmis!
Sac, I didn’t know your story so I wasn’t speaking specifically about you. I am speaking in general terms. Anyone who is not willing to compromise of make changes to in order to please their partner in a relationship and expects that their partner make all the concessions for THEM is indeed selfish and spoiled. WIVES are NOT mothers nor are they maids. HUSBANDS are not BUTLERS nor BANKERS. Spouses are partners and must care about each other as much if not more than they care about themselves.
RB, as a person who has been able to learn from his parents and keep his alcohol consumption in check I congratulate you. As a teen mentor and a community activist who has had this discussion with doctors, mechanchim and Hatzolah members as well as sitting in on lectures they gave on this very same subject I can clearly and without a shadow of a doubt say they would ALL disagree with you.
Be a mentch and act normal. It might not have been a good chemistry for you, but you never know where it might lead down the line. Many successful shiduchim came from a mismatch.
What these geniuses (sorry) don’t understand is this. When children grow up, they will have the right to choose for themselves (after many years of watching, listening and learning) who they think and have learned is a good or better parent. AND (and this is a big AND) who they think was right and wrong in the entire fiasco. AND that has nothing to do with what the judge said, it has to do with the conduct of the parents before and after the divorce. So it matters little who “won” in court. I what really matters is the truth and what happened before and after the court hearings. The parent who berates the other parent and makes it difficult for the children to see them will be the one who loses out in the end. Because when the children are grown and are of adult age and get to choose who they want to spend time with and get to enforce their legal rights, they will decide for themselves where their true loyalties lie, either with one or the other or both.
Once a child is of age, one parent or the other cannot make those decisions for them. They can try and bribe them or control them with money, but they can’t force them to do what they want them to do. They can pretend to listen but they can borrow a friend’s phone if they choose and make as many calls to the other parent as they choose or make arrangements to meet them at a neutral location. The parent that makes the other parent out to be the villain will eventually lose the trust and love they tried so desperately to gain in the first place.
So a parent can only “win” for the shortest amount of time in the child’s life. Once the child becomes of legal age it will be his or her choice where to go from there.
Welcome back
Well I am not sure what you agree with, but it seems to me we don’t agree. But thats fine we don’t have to.
The best time to tell the grandparents is at the end of the first trimester when everything is going well, you have your sonograms and pics, and the doctor has confirmed that there is a strong heartbeat, etc. There is no need to rush the news. This is a very special time in your lives and it is OK to have this very special time and very exciting news just between the two of you for just a little while longer. There is absolutely nothing wrong for a couple to have some private time and some private information just between themselves for as long as they can before sharing it with others. Enjoy the excitement. Mazal and bracha! B’shaah Tova!
sorry, please let me know what I said so I can be more careful.
flowers, you don’t need to explain this to me, you have yet to travel where I have already been. Obviously I am way older than you are and I have way more experience than you do. My point is that these problems are nothing new. These problems existed way before you knew about them. AND in 20 years when there will be something newer than the internet, people in difficult situations will use that technology to help them with their troubles. When people are hurting and unhappy they will search for ways to make them feel better.
And unfortunately there were more than one frum sheitel macher involved and I was in my early 20’s when this was going on. I was very naive and shaken up. I didn’t believe it but quickly found out it was true. Can you imagine a young vabel with 3 small children trying to help her husband with parnasah getting such a disturbing phone call. I was shaking and crying the rest of the day. So at the time the telephone was THE technological culprit and to me it was burning like fire. Understand that the person on the other end was anonymous!!!! There was no caller ID. Only when they chose to reveal who they were did they become a real person. So in a sense it was the same technology in a different form.
Any man could make a phone call to any BP or Flatbush home during the day and strike up a conversation. If a woman hung up, they went on to another number and no one knew who he was. Mind you there were a lot more young women at home caring for their children at that time. Predators have their ways and their scripts figured out way in advance.
I am not arguing with you that it is very easy on the internet. But at that time the phone was easy too. This thread is about having “guards” set up. You feel that women can’t be trusted. I feel that women who are happy can be trusted. WE DISAGREE. I do not know of any women who were truly happy in their marriage who gave that up for the thrill of the unknown. NOT in a frum Jewish marriage. I happen to know of many unhappy women who STILL stay married and do not look for trouble even thought they are unhappy.
Memo, let me tell you a secret. Love comes and builds from caring for each other and giving to each other. When a couple gets engaged they are “really, really, REALLY in ‘like” with each other. After they are engaged and start spending more time together and start doing things for each other, the gateway for loving each other opens. The more they do for each other, the more opportunity for loving each other. The term “ahava” comes from the shoresh “hav” which means to give. So that is the “key” to a loving relationship. Anyone who tells you that they were head over heels in love with their choson when they got engaged is weaving a very nice fairytale.
PBA and Brisker, Alcohol serves a purpose in moderation. As far as kids are concerned when you reach the legal age of drinking you can “choose” whether you want to or not but always know that Jews use alcohol in moderation for kiddush and l’chaim. That is the message WE must teach our children. Even I didn’t tell my kids alcohol is the devil’s milk.
I made 3 weddings b”h, none with an open bar. We had what is known as a “champaign bar”. WE served only wine and no one had any complaints. They were all very lebedick simchas, B”H everyone was on a high from the simcha and not from the booze. No one got drunk and no one made fools of themselves.
RB, again. I was not going to go into my speech. YOU asked remember?
ofcourse, your post is very troubling. There are a variety of reasons why men are also still looking for a mate in their 30’s and that is because Hashem is in charge and maybe their shadchanim did not do an adequate job for them, or maybe their mothers were too controlling in what THEY were looking for and not necessarily what their sons were looking for. Please don’t label all men over 25 “damaged goods”. There is a zivig out there for everyone and everyone must do their histadlus. Women of that age have also been picky and have also turned down men for the wrong reasons, too short, too fat, wrong yeshiva, wrong town, too far, too close, wrong mother, wrong sister, etc. Everyone has their own quirks so lets leave that alone and try to be more productive. So yes “I DISAGREE”.
Everyone is faced with challenges, and sometime Hashem sends YOU a challenge because YOU are the best possible zivig for HIM and YOU are the best possible wife or husband that can turn this “nebech” of a person into an amazing person so that both of you will be an amazing couple. No matter what YOU think, ofcourse, this person might still be your other half whether you see it or not and together you might just conquer the world. It might just be a matter of peeling back some layers to see who this person really is beneath the mask.
On the other hand, Sac’s situation was completely different. She was dealing with an entirely spoiled and selfish individual who might not have known better because HIS support system didn’t teach him what marriage is all about. Sometimes young and single people have “stupid” people in their lives pumping them up with nonsense and that is why they are still single or remain single the rest of their lives. They need to take a din v’chesbon regarding who is coaching them or who is influencing them and maybe ask their happily married friends and relatives why they are happily married. They might be surprised to find out that life does not revolve around only ONE person! If they asked their own Rav they might find out that they are supposed to get married because they are only half a person until they do. They are incomplete and only a wife will complete them. But if they are selfish beings how can they ever, ever be complete?
If you consider others “damaged goods” how will you ever find the one who completes you?
EDITED
please do not make comments about other posters
I disagree with you pba and RB. It is irresponsible to give kids alcohol before BM and shnops after bar mitzvah. That is why we keep grape juice around. There are many homes that use grape juice only for these very same reasons and don’t use wine at all. There are also parents who pour a small drop of light wine in their BM and older glasses from the Kiddush cup and then remove the wine bottle from the table. I would consider this responsible behavior or as you called it chinuch. Others leave the bottles on the table and allow them to be finished by all. This is irresponsible behavior.
Kids who have alcohol issues are kids who either are self medicating for entirely different reasons, or kids who “learn” from their parents to be irresponsible users. Alcoholism runs in families. There is a tendency for alcohol use. If you know anything about it, you know that the studies have shown that an alcoholic will have parents and/or grandparents with the same issues of substance abuse. There is a tendency to “need” the alcohol. You have to be careful and work to break the cycle. This is just information, I am not using it to prove a point where Jewish children are concerned or this topic is concerned, just giving you this bit of information because it IS a serious issue.
The use of Alcohol in Frum Homes have gotten way out of control. It has become way too important. Some people know way too much about alcohol which bottle is more valuable and can lay them out in order of cost and rarity, more so than a gadol hador or an important psak halacha. And that goes for teenagers as well as adults. What does that tell you about how low we have developed as a frum society and how important “mashke” has become in our world? What does that tell us about how WE NEED to be aware and BE CAREFUL about what we are teaching our children and the effects it is having on us.
We argue about taking TV and INTERNET into our homes and we neglect to mention THIS particular poison which not only kills the souls of our children but also their bodies. This is pure poison and we joke about it, we let our Rebbeim serve it, and we ignore the fact that kids imbibe in shul, in yeshiva, in our homes, in their Rebbe’s home, at simchas, etc. and we make light of the fact until it is too late and then what do we do? WE BLAME THE KIDS and call them bums! WHY because THEY couldn’t control THEIR tayvos! They are kids! How can they control their tayvos when adults allowed them free reign and carte blanche? They are kids whose adults in their lives thought they needed training in the fine arts of drinking alcohol so they got them started at a young age so they would be able to handle it by the time they were….what…17, 18, 19…21? For what reason? Why is it necessary?
People can manage ganz fine never drinking at all their whole lives if they choose to. What do they gain from alcohol??????????????? What are the benefits, please, please, please tell me! Also please don’t take my word for it, speak to others such as Rabbi Dr. Benzion Twersky, Rabbi Yanky Horowitz, Dr. David Pelcovitz, etc. there are a slew of prominent Rebbeim and physicians dealing with the fallout of kids and alcohol. Oh yes ask any Hatzolah member as well.
Flower, yes she or he can spend hours on line on the computer, OR they can spend hours on the phone. OR they can do what they used to and meet at a hotel, in the city, go to an x-rated movie theater, go to a red light district, etc.
Way before your time there was an x rated movie theater around the corner from Mirrer Yeshiva. Many moons ago there was a sheitel macher in Brooklyn who set unhappy married women up with all too willing men. I know, I once sold sheitlech and I got a phone call from a man asking me if I would set him up. I was so shocked and shaken up I hung up on him and called my husband. I was so disgusted. I hadn’t heard about this woman but he had heard the rumors. I wanted to close down my business but he said he needed the financial help and asked me to forget about it.
This all happened way before anyone even dreamed of a computer. So it will happen whether one has the internet of not. If someone is unhappy in their marriage and they want to find a way to get some happiness in their lives, they don’t need a computer to do it. Does the internet make it easier? Sure, it makes everything easier, but again even those who don’t have a computer will find their way to happiness if they want to.
shovel
Parents that serve alcohol to a minor are irresponsible and negligent parents. They are harming their children and teaching them bad habits. They think it is cute, harmless and many times funny. They have no clue that the little bit of mashkeh or wine they are giving to the kids only started them off and once they are started they don’t stick to the little bit their parents give them. They continue to help themselves when their parents aren’t looking both at home and elsewhere. And when they get married at the very young age of 21, 22, 23. Their homes are stocked full of the finest wine and liquor even if it costs them big bucks.
And here is the big kicker. They think its funny to give their kids beer, wine and liquor. Its funny isn’t it. I have seen 23-25 year old fathers (idiots) give their 2 and 3 year olds a little beer so they can all sleep Shabbos afternoon. Yup, this happened in the country. I wasn’t the only grandparent that didn’t find this funny at all. I also don’t find it funny when Hatzolah has to be called for a 15 year old with alcohol poisoning. So no, parents do not have a heter to feed their under age kids poison! Their bodies nor their brains are capable of handling it, its against the law for very good reasons.
So here is a bit of unsolicited advice. EVERYONE should be careful about alcohol use. Be careful what kind of role modeling you are displaying for your kids. Remember why we keep wine and liquor around and its purpose for Kidush and not for indulging. Remember that moderation is the key to success and that the law of the land is also important to follow not only the Laws of the Torah. It is very important to behave as Ben Torah and not only to be a Ben Torah.
Real-Brisker, you asked and so I answered.
Here is the thing about relationships and Jewish Marriage. The goyim have it wrong. Marriage is NOT a 50/50 proposition. Jewish Marriage is a 100/100 percent proposition. If you give only 50 percent you are missing 50 percent and always waiting for the other 50. You never know if you gave what was needed and you are always waiting for what was missing. On the other hand when each partner GIVES 100% each partner gets 100% so each partner should always be happy and satisfied both from giving and getting what they need. The more you give the more you get in such a relationship because the relationship keeps building.
The question as posted was if one party seems to be “giving in” unproportionately. Why is that a problem, things even out in the end? The issue really is whether or not each party is WILLING to compromise and cares enough to make changes to please the other and make them happy.
So for instance in regards to showering every day or night whichever the wife prefers. If it is important to the wife it should be important to the husband and the wife should not be the only one expected to make adjustments. If the husband enjoys long relaxing meals, then yes the wife should respect that and do her best to try and please him. Unless, she is the one working full time and just can’t accomplish that. In that case, HE would either have to help with the meal or understand that it is just not possible.
Other such issues that were brought up should be equally discussed and given equal importance whether it seems important to the other partner or not. If it is important to one partner it should be important to the other simply for that reason.
This is what I believe BP was talking about as well, that both partners work together to build the relationship and make it work. It should never be one sided. So Sac and all the other singles, if you feel during the dating process that only one of you are important in the relationship, you need to think about whether you want to continue or end it quickly. Because if it is already going sour before the wedding, there isn’t much hope for it to get better after the wedding.
Why would you think that a friend who remained your friend and stood by your side while you went off on your own journey and discovered your own truths would be a “monster with a soft smile”? What has she done at any time to sabotage you on your journey of truth and enlightenment that makes you wonder if you should turn your back on her. Maybe it is she that should be turning her back on you? Has she? Has she turned away from you after you left her behind when you went off on your own?
It is OK to be different and yet still be the same. It is OK to share things and still keep things separate and private. You are both individuals and those things that make you so should be celebrated and respected. There are things that you will never see eye to eye on and you will have to agree to disagree. Those things might have to be taboo subjects for you and those things might eventually divide you and send you on your separate ways. But why not allow that to happen or not. You might be surprised that just the fact that what you discovered have made you so happy might have a profound affect on her and her life. OR it might not and you might just naturally drift apart a little more year by year as your interests and your priorities differ. Who knows? Why worry about it now, why not allow nature to take its course?
Everything is going to depend on who the girl’s father is and what kind of personality he has. Some are going to try and make the young man comfortable by just small talk about “did you have a difficult time finding the house” or “how was the traffic coming over” or even “would you like something to drink?” and some will do the farheir thing which I believe is pointless unless the daughter feels there is something to delve into.
In each bedroom
its all that and then some
Who knows? Hashem puts us in different situations every single day and every day we are presented with new and interesting opportunities to help others and make a difference. Any one of those opportunities can open doors to new paths and new promising and fulfilling purposes. Life is a cycle and as our lives go on so do our opportunities to do good, help others and be productive ovdei Hashem. So maybe I am fulfilling my purpose or maybe what I do is just a stepping stone towards my true purpose in life. Only time will tell.
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What do you think the “artist/singer” or producer would answer if you asked them the same question? Do you think they would say it is ok if your friend only copied one song for you and one song for someone else? I don’t think so. They might say that you should “borrow” your friend’s cd and listen to the song when you want to, or you and a few friends should chip in and share a cd to listen to the songs you like and maybe each copy one song for yourself. So if there are 10 songs on one CD, 10 friends chip in and each have the right to copy one song. That might make sense and might not break copyright law. I am not sure but I don’t think it is right for one person to buy one cd and make copies of any song for as many others as he wants to. That for sure is breaking copyright laws.
I myself have never heard that, which doesn’t mean that it isn’t true just that I haven’t heard it, but I can tell you that friends and family CAN mess up shidduchim whether they intend to on a conscious level or not. Shiduchim do best when they are conducted as quietly as possible. It is best NOT to speak to your friends about your dates, it is best to discuss your dates with as little people as possible because they can offer the wrong kind of advice. It is better to have one or two people you can trust such as parents, a Rav, a mashpia, a dating coach, that is non-biased and not looking for what THEY want or what THEY think you need. It is best to find support who has is a good listener and a good sounding board and who can allow YOU to make your own decisions instead of telling you what THEY think YOU should do.
RB, the topic here was about Rebbeim not parents if you specifically want my opinion about parents who allow their underage children to drink ask me again and I will answer.
Arc, in E”Y where the legal age is 18, then the talmid is in charge of the choice to accept or decline and the Rebbe should respect that decision and in no way should he be insulted if the Talmid declines the offer. A Talmid should still be respectful to the opinions of his parents as well as to the seriousness of the issue and its consequences. Drinking alcohol is a serious issue as we have all learned all too well. Starting to drink at an early age is of no benefit to anyone.
The legal drinking age is 21. Rebbeim do NOT have a heter to ignore that. Parents do not appreciate when Rebbeim take it upon themselves to serve alcohol to their children and make the decision to do so without the permission nor opinion of the talmid’s parents. It is not up to the Rebbe to make that decision on his own or take that control away from the parent. And no, until the Law says the talmid is of age to make that decision on his own, he isn’t.
A Rebbe is supposed to be a good role model in all ways. Serving alcohol to talmidim who are NOT ALLOWED to drink is irresponsible at the very least.
TMB, I really don’t want to go to battle with you, just curious why so negative all the time?
bars
TMB, WHAT exactly is YOUR problem. WHO cares what the free legal aid is for. WE can start an organization for whatever purposes WE want to. That is number one, NUMBER TWO is you are wrong as usual. If you have a problem with your landlord or any other issue you can find free legal aid for any issue you need. Start googling, you can get free legal aid for divorce and family court issues as well as criminal and immigration or any other type of legal issues you may have. Some are offered via local groups, regional groups, state or federal groups. You can find whatever you are looking for.
In the secular world, there is a legal aid system. There is no reason why WE can’t establish a legal aid system in our society. After all, we have managed to establish Bikur Cholim, Hatzolah, Community Councils, etc. One brave person decided it needs to be done and did it. Maybe it has to be done within the Jewish Lawyers Association. If Jewish Lawyers as a group each agree to give of themselves, pro bono hours, then the community as a whole might be willing to step up to the plate and contribute to a fund that pays discounted fees to help those who cannot afford to pay for legal assistance. As long as there is a board who overseas the funds, the payments and the commitment of the attorneys involved. Law students should be able to get credits for assisting lawyers working these pro-bono and discounted cases as well.
Maybe there are some retired lawyers and judges who would serve as board members or even volunteer hours to get such an organization under way.
puffs
Firstly, this thread really answered the question of another thread which was the gender issue. We can easily tell here who are the males and who are the females!!
Secondly, the problems we are discussing here were NOT invented by the internet. Today’s problems and issues were also problems and issues decades ago. These things happened before internet, before PC and Macs, even before cell phones and beepers. Are they more prevalent today? Maybe or maybe we know about it more because technology has a way of passing along information quicker and more readily. Does it happy more today? Maybe that’s true too because we certainly are a more selfish society and a more “me” oriented society where we need instant gratification and we think everything is disposable even marriages and relationships. People think that “they” come first and they put their own needs before those of their spouse and their children. That is the main problem. If they understood the true meaning and value of the relationships they have, they would definitely last longer and would be cherished, and treated with the respect the relationship deserves.
A good counselor is like a good shadchun and a good shidduch. You have to keep trying till you find the right one. A good counselor is going to side with the Marriage and not with one spouse or another. If a counselor sides one way or another it is time to find another counselor! No counselor should be biased in either direction and should always be working to save the marriage! If either spouse is uncomfortable the counselor should refer them to someone else. That is a sign of a good counselor because saving the Marriage is the goal not giving points to either side for being right. So the basics would be what can either side do to make the marriage work and what are both sides willing to do to make changes in the Marriage to make it work.
And BTW that goes to any RAV you go to as well. Both sides should be equally right and equally wrong. The mediator should be able to see each issue from all perspectives.
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error and omissions
Flowers, unfortunately these things happened when women were unhappy way before the internet was invented. When women are unhappy opportunity finds away to find them with or without the internet.
RB, when you use a CC you know that the money in the bank is used to pay off the CC. The point of the CC is that the stores would rather take a CC than a check. You use the checks to pay of the CC and you gain points and build credit as you use the CC. You also train yourself how to use a CC and not to go over your credit limit, as well as sitting down at the end of the month to pay your bills on time and not pay interest. It is a good training method. Don’t spend what you don’t have, learn to live within the budget by having a visual record on the envelope, and pay your bills on time to build good credit and gain rewards.
Of course the main idea is not to spend what you don’t have and that is the best foundation to build on for your entire life. The problem with the debit card is this faulty error system that the bank holds over your head. And if you are in a sticky situation and you know you sent out the bill for the CC you can use it again. If your check didn’t clear yet in the bank your debit card is useless. You also don’t gain rewards. In addition, if your spouse also uses the debit card, you are in trouble if s/he makes a purchase you didn’t know about and you are standing at the check out and your card is denied on the spot. People have a tendency to just watch the receipt when it comes out and use that as their register. So lets say the receipt says they have $200. By the time they get to the next store, their spouse might have filled up the car with gas for $60 and now they don’t have enough left on the card to pick up the groceries they just ordered. If they use the checkbook itself it is not a problem, but with the debit card it is. It is not like a checkbook in that sense it is more like cash.
But RB, you are right. If someone is NOT capable or cannot be trusted to stay within the concept of the budget, they should be limited by the debit card.
But then isn’t it ironic that when we need money to support the yeshivas and we make the dinners etc, who do we go to if not the College Graduates and in so many cases the most modern if not frei who are multi millionaires? And we honor them so we can pull in the big bucks for the year. Ironic isn’t the word I should use, maybe I should say hypocritical.
And of course when we need a doctor, lawyer accountant especially for a godol, Rosh Yeshiva, talmud chochom, etc. We look for a frum person who we know we can trust. We look for one of our own who went to college, got trained and is in the fields we need most at the time. Then we are proud of our boys who went to college and succeeded. It is the old partnership of Yissochar / Zevulan which we will always see come into play over and over again.
Hashem has a plan for everyone. Hashem has gifted everyone with different talents, different strengths and different weaknesses. We must each look for our own strengths and gifts that Hashem bestowed on us and follow the paths that Hashem has set for us individually. So do what is right for you and don’t worry what the neighbors think. They don’t give a hoot what you think of them.
Health, I am very saddened by your situation. That is why professionals need to get involved to weed out the unsolicited advisors with the wrong advice! Women are very vulnerable beings especially when they feel unloved. If they do not feel beautiful and they do not love themselves they may fall into the trap of not feeling worthy of being love. This might not be on a conscious but on a sub-conscious level and therefor might feel unloved and vulnerable to an outsider’s influence such as in your case.
I am not about to guess what happened nor am i trying to pry into your situation. I am simply saying that people should not mix in other than to advise others to seek professional help and do whatever is necessary to make their marriage work especially if there are children involved. In today’s disposable society too many couples give up too soon thinking that there is someone else out there that will be a better mate. Unfortunately once they get what they think they want they are very sorry that they made a rash decision and would take it back if they could.
For those meddlers who carry the achrius of broken marriages on their backs, Hashem has no intention of allowing you to unload it nuch 120. You will have to face him with your din v’cheshbon and all the achrius it carries and face the onesh you deserve.
TMB, broken promises means a lack of respect. A lack of respect for a wife is a sign of emotional abuse. Please do not make light of a very serious subject.
I lived in a neighborhood called “Flatbush”. I moved from a neighborhood called “Boro Park”. People who lived in Flatbush further defined their sections as “Midwood, Madison, Marine Park, Kensington, Ditmas Park, etc.
Those who have internet and not TV will fight to the bitter end to justify their use of the internet even though they know that Daas Torah is just as against the use of the internet as they are against TV. The only heter that is given is for its use in making a parnasah. There is just as much shmutz and more on the internet as is on TV if you want to find it and you can be just as surprised on the internet as you can be on commercials. You can waste just as much time on the internet, excuse me, more time on the internet than TV with games, shopping, blogs, gambling, chats, TV shows and movies etc. There is much more to do in cyberspace than the idiot box brings into your home.
And although they will continue to yell “but OUR internet is filtered, you can still stay on it day and night as your posts reveal. OUR TV is also filtered. It is called, our common sense, which allows us to use bechira, the channel switch dial and an amazing invention called the on and off button.
You are better off having a credit card with a limit you can manage than a debit card. If by mistake you are overcharged on a debit card it can take two days or longer for the money to be returned or released back into your account. That means if the cashier charged $500.00 instead of $50.00 which has happened, even though they do an immediate reversal, it can take a long time even days, until you have use of your debit card again. The money is instantly withdrawn from your account and you cannot use your card again until the bank releases your money. This can cause huge problems if you rely heavily on your debit card.
So even though the cc company gives you a $5,000 limit, you can have them limit your card or your spouse’s card to $1,000 for instance so you have more control of your spending. You can also keep within your budget by keeping ALL your cc receipts in one envelope and keep a running number on the outside of the envelope similar to a checkbook register.
wireless printer
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backgammon
Klach, I don’t really care whether you watch, own, use the internet or not. It is NOT my business what someone else does or does not do. My point however is, those who keep spouting and judging those who watch TV, and quoting Gedolim who have assered it are hypocritical since the Gedolim have also assured the Internet except for making parnasah and here you all are on an internet blog that has nothing to do with parnasah and on who knows where else (which again I personally don’t care because It is NOT my business) filtered or not, which has nothing to do with parnasah. That is the pot calling the kettle black.