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If getting in and out of a car is an issue then women should practice doing this when men are not around. Try backing into the seat then swinging your legs in. Use your scarf to cover your knees, so wear a longer scarf or carry it as an accessory, or carry a shawl or wrap which can be used to hold over your knees and cover them. This can also be accomplished with your pocketbook. It is very stylish to carry large bags these days. So practice using them as a blocking or coverup tool.
I believe a “kasha” is stam a question of curiosity or a nagging issue that one wants clarity or an opinion on. A shaila is something you are looking for a psak halacha on.
You must go to the building department and file a request, get a permit and only then make the change. If you don’t do it legally, they can force you to remove it.
If it takes you by surprise there is nothing you can do, but if you feel a bout approaching you must stop and take care of the problem.
I would accept an invitation but insist that I help or bring something. Then make myself useful by coming early to help and then help to serve and clean up. I would also say that I am no longer a “guest” but a good friend or extended family so I feel quite at home here, and must show my hakaros hatov by doing my share. Of course that is in lieu of the hostess having prepared extra help herself.
As far as taking someone’s phone number, be gracious and take the number. Then say, that is very generous of you. I will do my best to keep in touch, I have a very full schedule and am not very good at adding new friends at this time.
I would suggest you see a Urologist and work something out with your counselor. Use the special underwear and use chucks on the bed. These are blue pads that are soft and white on one side and blue plastic on the other. They are used in hospitals and sold in the pharmacy. That will help you from having to change your linen. You just roll it up and throw it out. Ask for the end bunk near the bathroom. No one wants that bunk because it usually smells like the bathroom, so you wont feel self-conscious. Get a watch with an alarm clock so you are the first one up and out of bed so you can freshen up and clean up your bed before anyone else gets up. Usually you wear sweat pants as pajamas because it gets cold at night so that will hide whatever undergarment you need to wear.
Keep in mind that as long as a baby smells you they want you. So if the baby is in your room but sleeps in a crib or pack ‘n play he might sleep better and so may you. If he moves around and bumps into you or comes near you and smells you that might wake him up and want you. So even if he wakes up in the crib in your room, hearing your voice or your husband’s shushing him back to sleep might be enough comforting knowing that your are nearby and he is not alone. Only you will really know what will work for your baby. But as baby gets bigger and moves around more he is also more aware of his surroundings and it will be harder to move him out of your bed.
Do you remember in the scorching hot summers pushing the bottle caps into the melting tar in the gutters?
Going to the italian grocers for real italian ices in the paper cups?
Playing stick ball with your neighbors on the block. The sticks with the black tape wrapped around it and the spaulding pink balls we would buy from the corner candy store?
I was “tested” for kindergarten and was told I didn’t need to go. I felt cheated I started in the first grade.
I do remember the confusion with the fax machine because the paper kept coming back out. I don’t understand what people thought that when you put the paper in it would magically get carried through the air to the other party?
I remember playing “stoop ball” with the other kids on the block. Who even has stoops these days?
Leizor, why keep asking questions if you refuse to answer those asked of you?
What are the future in-laws reasons for not getting you anything? Did you and your kallah discuss this before the engagement? Did they and your parents discuss this? Was this a surprise to you? What is their financial Matzav? Are you their first son-in-law?
I don’t believe I have ever seen any Rabbonim I know just eating out with their spouse or other men in the neighborhood.
It is the store’s responsibility not yours.
Shloimy Dachs was my son’s shadchan and singer at this wedding.
Why is the baby in your bed anyway and not in a crib of his own even if he is in your room? I agree to give him a bottle in the middle of the night if you insist on going in to him, but water it down and keep watering it down until you give him only water in the middle of the night and then just leave a water bottle in the corner of the crib so he can take it for himself if he wakes up and wants it.
In addition, maybe you should move your 7 year old out until you get the baby to sleep through the night.
The question in your mind should always be “Who am I trying to impress Hashem or humans?” If my job is to be Oved Hashem and bring honor to Hashem then I must follow His rules and do His bidding. If I am on this world to please myself and others, then….
At least 90%
Yes I do have family who counted on the nursing profession and are having a very hard time getting their foot in the door.
I’m staying out of this. We went through this already on another thread.
Now that my father a”h is gone (18 years already) the memory of him walking me down to the chupah is more precious than ever.
Only you know how badly you are affected. Can you see to drive? To Read? How quickly are you deteriorating?
I was recommended to one of the top surgeons that most of the great Rebbeim go to, for my mom. He was excellent.
What do you want to know?
There can be 10 shelichim that approach the same person, and unless that person is ready and willing, no matter how good the sheliach is there is no way they can penetrate that soul. So yes, I am good at what I do, but I don’t take credit for turning “my kids” around, they get all the credit!!!
DY, this was discussed by so many poskim that have said a person can many a copy for themselves.
Since everyone is so up in my business let me give you ALL a final answer.
THIS WAS discussed BEFORE the engagement. MY son-in-law knew about this before I met his parents and he told me his parents felt the same way. I discussed it with his parents when we met and THEY had the same shita. AGAIN WHY is this a problem for you? A shidduch was made for our daughter with a family that was similar to ours? Why is it so hard to believe that? That is usually what happens.
And DY, are you married yet? Do you know how your parents feel about this? Are you a parent yet? Are you holding near shidduchim? Do you dream about walking your children down to the chuppah? Maybe if you have 10 kids five of each, then it doesn’t matter to you because sometimes it might go one way and some the other. If you don’t care you don’t care. BUT MANY OF US DO care. WE have special feelings about this and if YOU can’t understand this there is nothing more I wish to say on the subject.
PBA, Is that what YOU do, lock YOUR daughter in the closet when she doesn’t comply with YOUR wishes? Pretty harsh wouldn’t you say?
ENOUGH SAID. DO WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO, THIS IS OUR MINHAG AND THIS IS WHAT WE DO! I don’t owe any of you an explanation. I tried to be polite about it but I am done.
Anyone on the shidduch scene or in an abusive relationship should read Rabbi Abraham Twerski, MD’s book “The Shame Borne in Silence: Spouse Abuse in the Jewish Community”.
This applies to physical, emotional or other abuses.
Nursing homes don’t pay the same as a hospital plus you are basically limited to geriatric care and not the specialties you might want to go into like ER, Med/surg, telemetry, pediatrics, maternity, cath lab, etc. You are basically supervising old people not necessarily very sick people, but immobile old people, or weak old people who cannot care for themselves at home.
You have more patients than in a hospital with more responsibility and less supervision. Not exactly an ideal situation for a new graduate. Also not an ideal situation for a patient!
AND Health, it does not help you with your application for a hospital because in order to get into an ER they want ER experience, in order to get into a good floor they want experience in that specialty and NO they don’t consider Nursing Home experience appropriate experience in these cases.
Sorry to say, absolutely not. No one is yotzeh if they miss even one word.
DY, do you work for Aderet? Why are you so adamantly defending them? I still disagree with you, there is no way that you can remember everything on the copy of the agreement in the store to match it to the one you take home, and I highly doubt that the store is willing to hand out copies or is in the habit of handing out copies of the agreement with each purchase.
In addition I highly doubt that the store owner points out to any consumer that they are “renting” the CD and should read the copy of the agreement. Since this is not common practice the onus would be on the store owner to “tell” the consumer that they are not actually purchasing the CD like they are accustomed to and like they purchase other CD’s.
How excited we were with the first Word processor. Dictaphone? Teletype machine?
Who understood the first fax machines and how they worked?
When my BIL, came over and tried to explain the first internet system to us, it was called Prodigy, and he was talking about a “mouse” going through the mall and into stores to make purchase on your credit card. We thought he was drunk!
Yerach Ben Yomo, why do you immediately say that these boys are “at risk”, don’t you believe that regular yeshiva boys do this shtik as well? Well YES they do!!!!
Observateen, you did the right thing. Another way to take care of such a situation depending on your age (if you are much older than they are) is to say “Do I know you? I don’t think so. Lets keep it that way”. And move on. They think they are so smart and so cute and dare each other to talk to a girl and get their attention and sometimes they need a “slap in the face” to be put back in their place. A few good embarrassing moments and they will give up.
DY a copy is NOT valid since there is no guarantee that the copy is exactly the same as what is inside the wrapped product. One would have to see the actual agreement before actually agreeing. So it makes the whole transaction void since you can’t agree to something you can’t see. In order to actually make this valid, they would have to put the agreement in a pocket outside the wrapper so that the customer can actually pull it out and read it.
The good old days when people weren’t so rude and sarcastic?
Can you not read? There wasn’t an issue. She was not dating anyone at the time. It was not her place to make the decision. It was her place to tell the boy that she was dating that this was our shita and he would let his parents know. He had the same opportunity to tell his parents he doesn’t want to lose the shidduch as much as she did.
We are NOT chasidish. She did NOT date Chasidish boys, and so this was NOT an issue. It was our mechutanim’s first chasunah as well and they felt the same way.
What exactly is your problem? Have you made a wedding yet? We have made three B”H and had no problems.
pba, as always you ASSUME too much.
Wolf, obviously when we looked for a shidduch we looked in the pool of people who were similar to us and had similar hashkafas. We did not have ANY machlokes with our mechutanim. It was smooth sailing from the beginning.
Why go shopping in a store you can’t afford or one that just doesn’t fit your lifestyle? Stick with something that fits from the start.
Have any of you graduated nursing school and looked for a job in a hospital recently. Do any of you know any graduates looking for jobs? The field is flooded with graduates trying with no luck to get a hospital job because THERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF NURSES, hospitals have been closing left and right and experienced nurses are being hired instead of nurses straight out of school. In order to get a decent job in a hospital you need 2 YRS HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE. How do you get the experience if you can’t get your foot in the door? And the only available jobs if at all is the night shift and weekends. How are you going to manage that if you are frum? PLEASE talk about what you know!!!
The available opportunities if you are lucky is a per diem job or a float nurse in a hospital but that doesn’t guarantee you work because you can be canceled daily and you don’t get benefits. Other Nursing jobs are Home care and depending on how many hours you are working, you might or might not be eligible for benefits. But benefits do not cover travel and car expenses. In addition, even if you work in Managed Care/Home Care or a doctor’ office this will not be enough experience if you want to get a Hospital job in the future.
Not only do I not think this is a good idea for young men, at this time it is no longer a good idea for young women!
After helping many young people I give THEM credit for allowing positive influences into their daled amos, into their lives and actually HEARING what they had to say while others where yapping in their ears with negativity and alternate lifestyle choices.
It takes courage to push the negativity away and allow the positive energy to permeate your soul. It is a choice they make to reach out and take the lifeline. They don’t always do it right away and they don’t always do it with everyone that offers it. But it is they that have to make the step and accept the help.
DY, are you saying that as a consumer I can ask and expect the store to open the cd so that I can read the rental agreement and then choose NOT to purchase the product?
If the other side had a strong minhug the other way, I highly doubt we would have seen eye to eye on other things, and I highly doubt that the shidduch would have worked out to begin with. The kids were matim to each other for a good reason.
Why do you give credit for doing the right thing? Is he in kindergarten? Nice boy, good boy! This has always been the policy of the United States a “friend of Israel” and a supporter of democracy. OBama has turned his back on Israel and he has caused tremendous harm and unrest in the middle east. HE does NOT get credit for doing the right thing. HOWEVER, the congressmen and women who wrote to him because THEY didn’t trust him to do the right thing DO.
I don’t feel this is a good idea. There is a cap on how much a nurse makes. In the NY vicinity it is extremely difficult to get a hospital job which has the best pay and the best benefits. Only if a man wants to continue on to be a Nurse Practioner which is similar to a Physicians Assistant should he even consider entering the field. It is not shayach to make a good parnasah without help from his wife.
DY, yes people are callous, let me give you another example. There are women standing in back of the shul without a seat. There are seats scattered around the shul with coats on them. You would think that other women would take their coats off and offer the seats to those standing in the back. You would think right???????????????????????
You would think that if there is an empty seats scattered in the shul and there is a crowd in the back that women would go to the back and invite others forward or at least inform them of empty seats. You would think right????????
Or maybe that some would move in so the seats on the end would obviously be available. Why would anyone do that if others could stand??????
Maybe we should thank him and salute him while the two Iranian War ships pass through the Suez Canal?
Obviously he SHOUTED his support for ISRAEL in regard to the flotilla loudly and clearly.
Its ADAR why this very weird discussion of unhappy occurrences?
And mine is 6 feet tall! So how would anyone really know? And I am 5 foot 3.
My daughter way back when was in shiduchim she casually and foolishly said that she wouldn’t “shtelzich” on such an issue. I very sweetly turned to her and made it very clear to her that “this isn’t hers to give away”.
We have only one daughter and I wasn’t going to allow my daughter to steal my husband’s right to walk her down to the chupah. It wasn’t up to her to negotiate this. And I certainly worked hard enough to raise my boys that I wasn’t giving that away either. Turns out if worked out well because OUR mechutanim felt the same way.
DY, if you purchase a CD, according to the poskim you have the right to copy if for yourself only. The same laws of copyright applies to software as to CD and software is usually licensed by users. By agreement when you purchase your software you don’t have a right to use it on as many computers as you choose to load it to. You have purchased the right for one user or five users or for how many users you purchased.
So my curiosity is to whether the geniuses that came up with this RENTAL theory are as careful NOT to break the rule on OTHER people’s copyright and license infringement as they are when it comes to their own profit?
Furthermore I highly doubt it is legal to “say” that you are “renting” this CD according to an agreement inside the sealed package which you cannot see or read until you “purchase” this item. How can you possibly agree to something you have no access to read? So that in itself would not hold up in a court of law or under any law it is just double talk.
Anyone who “buys” into this nonsense is a fool! When you pay the same price as any other CD you purchase, then it is a purchase and not a rental. If they want to call it a rental they should lower the price! In addition, if they are doing this for some halachic reason in order that you can’t even make a copy for yourself, then you should not be able to profit from a sale, and should only be able to profit from a rental. For example, netflix or blockbuster “rents” movies and therefore does not charge the same amount as if you would go out and buy the movie to keep in your own collection.
Watch out for tricky threads.
I am very curious if these tzadikim who thought up this rental clause on their music cd’s have the same professional courtesy and responsibility when they purchase computer equipment and software for their professional use in recording the music itself. Do they buy a license for EACH and EVERY COMPUTER? Do they buy a separate license for their desktop AND laptop? Does it only apply to THEIR profit of to everything THEY purchase as well?
Many times people cross the line of common courtesy and decency and most of the time we call them on it and try to exact an apology. In most cases, they come to their seichel and issue a real apology and life goes on. If you feel someone hurt you the best thing to do is to say so on that thread. BUT you should also read what you yourself wrote to make sure that you did not initiate the bad sentiments and be accountable and responsible for your own actions. You will get feedback either way so if YOU are culpable you will hear about it, if someone is being rude to you there will be feedback on that as well. There is no need to run away, the best thing is to stand up to a bully.
For US it is standard that PARENTS walk their children down. That is what we pray for that WE are zoche to walk OUR children to the chupah.
In some chasidus like Chabad (i think), the grandparents not only walk down with the children, the all walk around the chosson.