aries2756

It is flooded because everyone wants the SAME jobs. Everyone wants to be in the same yeshivas in the same areas. Everyone wants the same kids on the same schedule. Think outside the box. If this is what you really want to do then think of a way to follow your dream. If this is an easy way for you to make a living then you are going to have to jump in and fight like everyone else.

What be the point of being in kollel and learning your whole life if not to get smicha and have a goal? What is the point of learning if there are no bechinas to know that you are actually retaining what you have learned and you are seriously doing your job?

Once the gift is yours, it is your obligation to toivel it. Just as if you bought a gift in the store, do you usually toivel for the other person?

Refuah Sheleimah!

It is hard to understand depression unless you have been there or you are trained in the subject.

Firstly, kudos for reaching out for help. Secondly don’t be hard on yourself you did not cause this to happen. If you have any idea what triggered it or what makes you feel sad, you can truly help your doctors make progress with your case. Don’t be afraid to bring your family into the picture if it will help. In many cases family therapy is warranted.

Now is NOT a good time to do chessed for others or to volunteer. You have to put yourself at the top of your priority list. YOU need to concentrate on how YOU feel and what YOU can concentrate on and do. Do not expect too much of yourself, you are a work in progress and it will take time as well as the right medication to get you back to where you can recognize yourself and you feel like yourself again. You might feel like your hugging the bed and not really waking up till late in the afternoons and not really functioning or able to concentrate till the evenings. This is normal for depression and it is not “you” it is the disease. You might find that you are gaining weight or you have the munchies that could be a side effect from the meds. Let the doctor know immediately. You may find that you lose your appetite. Let your doctor know immediately. You may find that you are antsy or anxious if you are left alone and feel more comfortable if someone is with you, that is also one of the manifestations of the disease. There are many. You might want to be alone or you might want some company.

You might find that you can’t even concentrate enough to read a book, or to answer your emails or to follow a tv program. Understand that these things can happen and don’t let it get to you. That is why I say that NOW is not the best time to push yourself to volunteer or to be responsible to other people. Do whatever you can for yourself and don’t worry about others counting on you. No one is more important at this minute than you are. No one’s problems or issues are more important at this time than yours. You can’t help anyone if you are not well and happy. So right now be as selfish as you need to be and just take care of numero uno, you.

Do whatever makes you feel happy, calm, relaxed and content. Try to be as open and as honest with your therapist as possible. Set your goals with your therapist and don’t let anyone else push or prod you. Let your psychiatrist know how our therapy sessions are going and how you are doing on your medication. Again be as honest with him/her as you can. They are not mind readers and they can’t help you if you are not honest.

Understand that a patient and therapist is NOT a shidduch and if you don’t feel you can communicate with the one you have be honest with your psychiatrist and let him know. The whole point now is honesty and getting to the root of your problem so that you get well. You have a life to get back to, you have school to catch up on and a whole world that is continuing without you, so you need to work WITH your doctors and help them to help you. You have to trust these people in order for them to treat you appropriately.

Teenagers have many secrets and have way too many obligations to others vis a vis promises, secrets, knowledge of things they shouldn’t know, knowledge of family illnesses and of problems in shalom bayis and finances. These adds way too much stress and anxiety for the average teen. There are also issues that we have discussed here with inappropriate speech and actions whether in the home or outside in reference to sexual harassment or molestation. There are also many, many issues of bullying that teenagers go through. Some of these hidden issues that teenagers keep secret can manifest themselves into depression. Teens need to realize that if they are already seeing a professional that Hashem has helped them find a yeshuah and that they now have someone they can unburden to, someone who can help them escape their nightmares. I am IN NO WAY suggesting or implying that this is the case with the OP, i am saying that WHATEVER her situation is SHE should be honest with her therapists so that they can help her and guide her. AND if anyone else finds themselves in that situation they too should be honest with their therapists to they can be helped before their illness gets worse.

MW13, if you don’t know the difference of drinking a “little” more than you normally do to make you sleepy so you are ad dlo yado and getting “stone drunk” then neither I nor anyone else here can teach you. YOU are not willing to learn.

Some kids are just afraid of the noise. You might try to desensitize by using a sound machine at the lowest volume and then raising the volume as he gets used to it.

PBA call it what you want just have it in your own home. There is no inyan or mitzvah to go wandering through the streets drunk. It doesn’t say in the Gemarah or the SA that you should throw up on your neighbor’s lawn or that you should cause damage to your neighbor’s car when you are drunk!

The Halacha is to have wine at the seudah period. So before you defend the drunken dopes maybe you can all agree that if you are going to follow your Rav’s shita and get drunk you do it in your own home and crawl into your own bed afterward so you don’t hurt or damage anyone else or their property. AND to take that point even further you teach that to your beloved children as well. If you allow them to get shiker do that under your own supervision in your own home!

I don’t agree with getting drunk under any circumstances especially for underage individuals. But I am not getting pulled into this ridiculous conversation yet again. If you believe it is YOUR duty to get drunk keep it under your own roof and understand that you don’t have a pass to be drinking ALL day and the night before, the mitzvah is ONLY at the seudah.

cigarettes and alcohol were advertised on tv.

I remember getting the polio vaccine in school. I remember getting the dental slips in school to make sure we went to the dentist twice a year, which is not the norm these days. I remember the teacher administering an eye exam making you stand at the back of the room while she hung an eye chart on the board.

The kesubah is a contract the husband gives the wife in which he promises to give her all those things and promises to take care of her. There is no contract where the wife promises the husband anything. Just think about that.

DY, in that case then Aderet should make that stipulation on each CD according to the artist. If they don’t want the archius to be boycotted, they should specify that “in according with the artist’s wishes….” or “the artist allows you to make one copy for yourself”. If an artist wishes to be profitable off the backs of the Jewish Consumer then he has to treat the consumer with respect.

I was taught to daven “bifnim”, meaning what the siddur says!

canine, i would advise you to please listen to the interview of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. He clearly states that there is no reason in this day and age where College is so cleansed and separated that boys are being held back from being trained to being mepharnes their families. There are no apikores courses that need to be taken, there are no women on campus, etc.

guy-ocho, Why is Aderet the only producer? At this moment I am in aveilus so I can’t listen to music for the full year and I am surviving. So I think that when my year is up, I can choose NOT to buy from Aderet under these circumstances and still be OK. I think if MOST jews told the store owner that they refuse to buy from ADERET under these conditions, ADERET would review their position and realize that their attitude stinks and that they can’t tell someone that after they purchase a CD for $15 and up, they can’t put it on their IPOD or their computer which is ridiculous. Once it is mine, I can choose to listen to it any which way I choose. The purpose of buying it, is for me to enjoy it any way I choose to.

In addition, if most Jews were to write to the artist and say “I love your music but I can’t buy your album because of Aderet’s foolish attitude about “renting” instead of buying, maybe the artist will look for a different producer. As long as the public keeps quiet and says nothing, nothing will change and Aderet will believe what they are doing is acceptable. Then other producers will follow their lead.

Has anyone as of yet figured out where the “one” sock disappears to?

Leizor, you are either happy with your Kallah or not. Nothing else matters. If you are looking for what else you can get then you have no clue what marriage is about and what you are doing. The point of getting married is to complete YOU. To find your “ezer knegdo”. To find your missing half”. It has nothing to do with what the mechutanim gift you with. The gift, the matanah is your future wife. If you don’t see that, then you are not worthy of her, and you are not ready by any means to get married.

Extra gifts are just cherries on top and are nice but meaningless and worthless if you don’t see the true value in the Kallah. AND if you do not see the true worth of your Kallah NOW, YOU will never honor her and respect her as you are required to, when she will be your wife. YOU my friend have a lot of thinking to do and you should sit down with your Rosh Yeshiva and figure this all out. YOU do not have your priorities in order. A wife is a matanah from Hashem and that is the ONLY matanah that YOU need and should be praying for.

My feeling is this: the more the world is against Israel and backs the Arab nations the more the truth will come out. All the Arab countries who are so convincing showing the world how great they are and how their way is the right way, spreading their word of “truth”…..the truth is now coming out as their people revolt against them telling the truth how they keep all the wealth to themselves and let their people suffer in poverty. The revolt from one nation across the other. Millions upon millions of Arabs revolting against their own regimes!!!! There is NO PEACE in their OWN nations and OBAMA wants to broker peace between ARABS and poor little Israel? He put his faith with the Arabs and now he does not know what to do? The UN always sides with the Arab nations, but what are they to do? Where are they now? Why are they not condemning the leaders who destroyed their own countries with their greed and selfishness? Where are the resolutions, why are all the other countries not getting together to condemn these Arabs for not bringing peace back to their nations?

People should realize that you can’t change anyone but yourself. You can only change yourself to accept the flaws in another person, but you can’t change another person to improve their flaws. If you can’t accept a person the way they are then don’t count on changing them, it is a pipe dream that will turn into a nightmare.

Maybe this should be discussed with your mechanechet in senior year, or with a very beloved teacher in seminary. That will motivate the girls to be mature and do the right thing.

why can’t we just assume that at this day and age EVERY elevator has a camera, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it is not there!

Not a very fair question. You would need to go on the internet for your plan and look up a doctor. Not every doctor accepts every insurance to begin with. Not every doctor accepts every medicaid plan. Insurance is complicated and it is hard for the doctor’s office to deal with ALL plans even when they pay, some are just difficult to work with.

I would not want to know as a parent because it is the most exciting part of the birth. But as a grandparent I wouldn’t mind knowing but I never ask. If they want to tell it is up to the kids to let me know. It is a little stressful for the grandparents who have to prepare the shalom zachor if the mother goes into labor thursday night or friday.

Yes, I remember both those games, and a ring with a string and a ball or bell called “footsie”. You put the ring on one ankle and then swung the string and bell around and have to hop over it.

You can only get it in a liquor store

The reason to “not know” is that you might start preparing for the baby before it is born. This is frowned upon because of “ayin Harah”. We wait until the baby is born healthy before we prepare for it, because we don’t want to give the baby an ayin harah. If you know you are having a boy, you might start painting the room blue, by the crib accessories, by the baby clothes, etc.