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I will give you the simplest advice that worked for me. Find a friendly or what seems to you an interested face and speak directly to that person. Someone towards the center or back of the room so it will seem that you are looking out to the crowd.
If you are inexperienced and you start allowing your eyes to wander you might lose your train of thought or stumble. So find a face and speak as if you are speaking to a parent or a spouse. You will have no problem and no one will know that you are not addressing the entire room.
Don’t think about how you are going to be received, they are not there to judge you. They are there to hear the information you want to share with them. And you are there to share information with them. They don’t care if you have a hair sticking up out of place, or you forgot to button your top button, and they won’t see the spot on your tie that you didn’t notice till the last minute. Or if you are female the run in your stocking. If you have a message you want known, then know you have something important to share, just as if you were sitting in your living room or walked in on a group of your mothers friends and stated your opinion. YOUR opinion counts and you have a right to voice it. So it is important for you to speak your opinion and let others know what is on your mind. Sometimes you are going to be the one sitting and listening and sometimes there is going to be a lucky listener hearing what YOU have to say.
There are various thoughts on the subject, but I must say it is definitely more exciting if you don’t know the sex of the baby. But if you do decide to know, don’t tell anyone. There are things you are allowed to keep to yourself and just keep between yourself and your spouse.
As far as nursing and baby items are concerned. You have a lot of time on hour hands to put to good use and that is research. Now is a great time to read up on nursing and how better to prepare yourself so it will go smoothly. And what tips and tricks to use to make both yourself and your baby more at ease and comfortable. And that of course is great as far as gear is concerned. Find out which car seat fits the best in your car. Find out which is the easiest for YOU to carry. Many are way too cumbersome. Are you the type of person that loves the fashion of the thing or the convenience. Would you just like to have one stroller that will go from bassinet, car seat carrier and stroller even thought the frame might be a bit heavy or do you want to have a snap ‘n go and worry about a stroller later. Are you really the type that will do a lot of walking with the baby and need a cot attachment (bassinet)? Or will you be in and out of the car a lot and it really isn’t a necessity for you. Are you into the fancy and expensive or would you like a sleek look but are just interested that it wheels well and is easy to open and close and the price is right. Looks are not everything. Read reviews and know what your needs are. And by the time you need it the next model could come out and you can get a really good price on the one you choose, or you can go for the new bells and whistles on the new model and pay the extra price. Its like a new car. The manufacturer listens to the consumer’s complaints and suggestions and then gives them want they want. Hatzlocha.
I dont understand the post at all.
Just as YOU were waiting for HIM to be free, what makes you think YOU can’t say that YOU are currently busy. Should you NOT give this young man your full attention and full opportunity? Yes it might not work out, but the guy you were waiting for might not work out either. In that case you would lose both opportunities. Just because YOU have been waiting anxiously for a YES from him doesn’t mean he is going to be so excited about you. After all YOU were NOT on the top of his list. So what do YOU think HASHEM would want you to do? What do YOU think Hashem’s plan is for you?
You are NOT playing cards here and trying to sneak a card under the table for later just in case. You are playing with real people and real emotions. As another poster said, how would you feel if a young man played this game with you? And how would you feel if you played this game and lost both?
Here is a question to all those that think it is”only” a favor. IF the friend gets audited, will they say they did the taxes themselves or will they say their “friend the accountant” did it for them? What if they ask their “friend” for another favor and have them go in with them for the audit. Should she charge then?
Is this YOUR problem or your mother’s?????
That is so very sad.
Yogi, you have plenty of time to register. Wait till at least 6 months, things change and new products come on the market all the time. So wait a while.
You probably won’t feel anything till at least the end of the 4th or somewhere in the 5th month and that will just be like a butterfly fluttering. As the baby grows you will feel some other things like rolling, hiccups and kicking when it is bigger and more developed. You can track the baby’s growth online as well as what you should expect.
It also says to support our own. So why support the arabs and goyim because it is cheaper? No one has security as ELAL does and maybe they have to charge more because they are closed when others are open. Why not support that?
RB, being sarcastic and saying “not everyone has money trees all over their lawn” is NOT an excuse. It seems that it is only convenient to be a JEW in certain areas but NOT all. That is just a cop out. IF you are going to spend the money to go to Israel then know how you should spend your money in the most efficient and appropriate way. How come those people without money don’t have to ask a sheilah if they have to support the Jewish airline that the Rabbobim force to be closed on Shabbos? How come the Rabbonim don’t comes straight out and say that everyone should fly ELAL because they are the Jewish airline and they are closed on Shabbos!!!!!
I possibly found a place for a kid that didn’t have a place to be for Pesach. B”H.
Maybe if ALL yidden flew ELAL they would not be swayed by the pressure!!!! Why is it that we only always look at the flip side. Why do NON-frum Jews always have to accommodate us frumies but WE don’t have to accommodate them? THINK about it.
I know Frum Yidden who would rather fly Jordan-air because its cheaper. What’s the excuse for that?
MIS, I don’t know why the gedolim did what they did, but that is NOT something YOU should assume. Frum people who volunteer their time to save lives, ONE would assume would act as they would elsewhere and not behave differently because they are on a volunteer life saving mission. YOU should dan l’kaf zchus and keep that in mind as well. There are many other Halachic issues which might have to do with blood, giving blood, collecting blood, yichud, shabbos, tomeh, dinim regarding if a patient dies, etc. All things that need to be considered, taught and followed if you are a frum Jew and if the patient is Frum as well. Things are not always as simple as they appear and if you were never close to someone who died you would not know all the particulars. I am NOT saying that this is the reason either. I don’t know and in most cases with many of these proclamations they come out and there is a big fuss and then a week later it is explained, withdrawn or modified.
Kids are kids and it happens all over. Unfortunately almost anything that happens outside our daled amos happens within as well. WE also have a yetzer horah.
If someone is asking you to do their taxes this late in the game, where you are on countdown it is labor. Favors you do in January!
My .02, actually the difference would be if your friend said “lets trade I’ll do…….and you do my taxes. How does that work for you?” After all when does an accountant even have a chance to breathe during tax season. So if they are NOT offering anything in exchange like friends do, then you don’t owe anyone favors. Do they not pay for other services? Can they NOT afford it? If they needed her to do it because they can’t do it themselves and they can’t afford an accountant I don’t think she would be asking this question. But a friend would still offer a massage, a dinner, or something that they are trained to do, car wash, hem a dress…..
RB, seriously? You must be very young.
Shrek, for one thing we switched to whole wheat matzoh a while a go and that helped a lot. Try to stay away from “fried” foods. Pepcid AC is also very helpful.
The no no’s if you experience heartburn are: caffeine, chocolate, alcohol, soda, fried foods, spicy foods.
And the most important is NOT to lay down after eating, and never lie flat use at least two pillows.
No news is good news. If there were fatalities you would have heard about it.
A good friend would NOT ask you to do it for free or want to “use” you, but would come to you because they trust you to do it right and not to overcharge them. So there is nothing wrong with saying, “I have no problem doing your taxes for the friends and family rate, not what my boss would charge you”. They can either take that as a polite no or understand that you have to charge them.
Part of learning a trade is learning the business end of the trade. If you are in the business of doing favors you won’t be in the business of making money.
You know how to write on the YWN but not google Life Coach? Come on your pulling my leg.
Gumball, I’m a Certified Life Coach
Adorable, of course something like that will make you more cautious and it is always a good thing to be cautious and not to take anything for granted. There are some crazy drivers out there and sometimes accidents happen to good drivers because of animals that run across the road, or things that fall off of moving vehicles and sometimes because of glare. It must have been really unnerving being alone int he office when you really need to feel another human presence and probably could have used a hug. Human touch is very comforting and can be very soothing and helpful to calm down especially when you have the shakes after a trauma.
WE need to assume that the driver was wearing seat-belts and therefore there was a good outcome. We have heard of such outcomes in the past and seat belts saving lives, so please assume that it was the case in this instance and that even though there could have been some broken bones and bruising, or they could have walked out without a scratch, that the seat belts and air bags did their job and it was just a huge scare for everyone.
adorable, are you ok? are you home alone? Maybe you shouldn’t be alone right now. What you saw is very traumatic and when you witness something like that it usually it is better to be around other people and not try to digest it alone. The whole thing can feel very surreal and being around people helps to ground you and allows you to talk it out of your system.
c’mon Health. I like them too. I don’t “always” agree, but I do back you up at times.
Here is a website I found for you: http://www.algebrahelp.com/ very, very easy to use.
oomis, it works.
Gumball, the problems are like riddles the answers are in the “story”, you just have to keep reading it to figure it out. Write down the information so you can visualize it and then you will find the conclusion. As I said before, for the equations write out the formula and then plug in the problem. Most people make stupid mistakes and that is why they get the answer wrong. Such as they get it right on the scrap paper but then transpose it incorrectly on the answer sheet so watch out for that.
Aside for the good books there are also computer programs available and math on line help. So people learn differently and as the other poster said, some people need to be taught in a different way or some teachers don’t have the patience to teach it to every student. When my kids were in High School, most of the parents taught the algebra at home to their kids. Obviously the parents had more patience for their own kids than the teacher and WE all knew the old way which the kids learned easier from us than the new way the teacher was teaching. Each to their own.
Everyone loves the carriage that they choose for whatever reason they chose it. My daughter-in-law has a bugaboo because it was a gift. I still can’t figure out how to open or close it. It has the most difficult engineering and it is not one handed. There are many others just as good and comparably priced or cheaper which are easier to open and close.
I just took a friend of mine to Babies “R” us on Thursday. You can’t imagine how many new products and new strollers are on the market. There is no need to spend so much money on this item. Seriously, so many low end companies have upgraded. And many higher ends are not as expensive and easier to use than this one. Just because it is so expensive does not make it better. I was surprised to see Phil & Ted’s and Britax at Babies R Us and a new brand Mama’s and Papas.
Just a little story to keep you going. It is a true story. I think I mentioned it before. I have these amazing nieces. Two sisters who are very close. The younger sister got married last May and the older sister was very happy for her. But everyone was very confused what’s going on with her, she is tall, thin, gorgeous, emesdik, talented? Why can’t she chap a good shidduch. Now its not because the phone wasn’t ringing and she wasn’t going out. The guys she was going out with were just NOT “normal” according to her. They were too into themselves, too interested in cars and not real life, or just weren’t ready to commit. She was really getting hurt and disillusioned. I gave her my ruby ring before her sister’s wedding and told her that it would bring her good luck and she would meet her bashert very soon. Well it didn’t take long. She went over to a certain Rav to ask for a shidduch for a friend and he said I don’t have a shidduch for her but I do have someone for you. PS, she got married in March.
That is NOT the point of the story. The point of the story is this, SHE was the first girl that HE went out with. SHE had to wait for HIM to grow up and start dating. HE was out there all along. Hashem had a plan for her all along she just had to be patient. He was always within reach but it wasn’t the right time. When it was the right time,she found him.
Gumball, you didn’t make it clear what grade you are in or which math you are learning but I will bite. Yes you do need to know math in life but I will agree that you don’t really need to know trigonometry unless you become an engineer, architect or scientist. In other areas of your life other formulas in math will be helpful. Fractions of course, decimals, and even angles and equations will have a place somewhere and at some time in your life. Whether it is figuring out space in your home, medications for yourself or your children, the blueprints and furniture layouts, if your contractor is following your plans, how long it will take you to get somewhere, if you have enough gas in the car, planning a budget and your finances, just getting enough change at the store, any number of projects at work, etc. Math comes into play in various areas of every day life and in various jobs and careers. Higher degrees of math comes into play in different careers as I said such as engineering and the sciences but basic math is used in every day life.
If you are a decorator you have to figure out how much yardage of fabric or carpeting for instance you need to cover the upholstery, the floors, or the windows according to the design you are creating. That of course depends on the width of the fabric (which comes in various sizes) the repeat of the pattern, which of course varies as well and the height, width and depth of the items you are covering. You see you need math in decorating. Same goes for wallpaper, size of the furniture etc.
If you are in commercial design, how many tables and chairs can you fit into this restaurant? How many customers can you feed at one time? All this is math.
Choose another career or industry and I will show you how math plays a part in it. For instance if you are a sales person, how much commission you make, how much you can afford to discount how much to charge for delivery, how much tax to include, etc. Everything is math.
Say you bought a car. How much is the depreciation, how much is it worth if you want to sell it in a year? How much do you owe the bank? How do you know if they are cheating you? You have to be on top of it and know how to figure it out on your own. You can’t trust anyone but yourself.
Jolly, i hear you. Even though she is in her own world you still have to do what is best for you. She might still hold on to her old ways but whether she wants to budge or not YOU need to do what is best for you. If you do that YOU wont have resentments towards her. Eventually, you might have to decide whether the relationship is working out for YOU or not and whether or not you want to keep her in YOUR circle of friends. Friendship is a two way street as are any relationships and at times we have to re-evaluate how they are working out. We have to make sure that they are healthy for us and that they are supportive and not depletive. There is a difference between friendship and chessed. Friendship has a level of respect, love, honesty and honor. Chesed is a whole other ballgame. I am assuming that you are NOT in high school and we are talking about an adult relationship in which both parties have to act as adults. You have to be strong for yourself and do right by you. You can’t control other people you can only control yourself and what you choose to do. The only changes you can bring about is what you choose to do and how others will respond to the changes you implement. Hatzlocha.
Jolly, yes you should because getting insulted is her way of “getting her way”. And if you want to “keep” the friendship it has to work for both of you. It has to meet your needs as well as hers. YOU BOTH have to be respected in the relationship. It can’t be one sided because then it is NOT a relationship or a friendship, then it is an obligation. So in order to be friends and be happy with each other and the time you spend together you both have to be respected and both or your needs have to be met. Do you understand what I am saying?
You don’t have to straight out insult her, but you have to “coach” her into a normal relationship by asserting what you want as well. YOU simply have to say “Today I NEED to do….do you want to come?” and if she argues with you, you will have to learn how to say “then we will have to reschedule for another day because I really need to do this for myself”. Sooner or later she will catch on that she will have to play fair and that your needs count as well and that it is no longer going to be only about her. And when you stop her from interrupting you and actually make her wait until you finish your thoughts, she will also learn that YOU have something equally important to say. Having a conversation means that one person speaks while the other listens and then they change places.
If a person was a true rasha why would they attempt or truly want to commit suicide? Which rasha has a conscience? Which Rasha hates their life to a point that they would want to end it? A rasha loves doing what they do. They love causing misery to others, that is their enjoyment and that is their whole purpose in life to hurt others and to make others miserable. So why would a rasha contemplate suicide and another person have to ponder whether or not to save them?
On the other hand, if a rasha were in a situation where their life were at risk, then you can ask the question is one obligated to save the rasha? I am no chocham but I would imagine that one would be as obligated as one would be to any other person.
Jolly, you have to be strong and learn how to coach her. So when she cuts you off you have to learn how to say, “you probably didn’t realize that you cut me off. I wasn’t finished. Let me finish my story and then you can tell me yours.” Don’t bring feelings into it.
If you want to do something and she tries to steer you in another direction try to assert yourself and say “that’s a nice idea too, but today I was counting on going… or today I promised myself I would…so do you want to come with me?” Honestly Jolly, if she gets insulted it is NOT your problem.
You two have two different personalities and you can’t blame her if YOU cannot stand up for yourself. YOU need to take control of your own accountability in this friendship. YOU need to take charge of your own needs. Why are your feelings any less worthy than hers? Why are her feelings the only ones that matter here? Seriously? You have to ease her into the reality of the situation without telling her it is all her fault when it really isn’t all her fault. If you allowed yourself to give in to her then it is also your fault. Learn to stand up for yourselff she is not fine china and if she gets insulted, she will have to learn to get over it she will not break into tiny shattered pieces. YOU are entitled to have your turn as well you just need to learn how to do it appropriately.
So find your inner strength and learn how to say “that is a nice idea and maybe we can do that another day, today I planned a different outing do you want to come with me?” after all you are the driver and you are in control.
Hashem made us ALL special!!!
Maybe on April fools day.
My brother was born on April 1. When my father told everyone that he gets a Mazel Tov, they all laughed and said “april fools”. He didn’t think it was so funny since he had a girl first and was very excited about his son!
The beauty in the presentation is as important as the taste because it makes you want to eat the food and it gives the food the sense of importance that it deserves. Food needs to be valued for its necessity and its quality. It needs to be praised and it needs to be blessed. It needs to be appreciated and it needs to be savored and not wolfed down and forgotten. Maybe if we all realized that we need to value every bite and eat slowly to appreciate it, we would eat to live instead of live to eat.
Kavanah comes from understanding what you are saying. If you don’t understand what you are saying how can you mean it? When I speak to people I tell them say what you mean and mean what you say. But if you are not speaking in your common language then how can you mean what you say? Only if you fully understand what you are saying can you really mean it. Therefore get yourself a transliterate siddur so you can check the meaning of the words you don’t understand. Each time you daven you will have more of an understanding of what you are saying and you will find yourself having more kavanah the next time you daven, and each time thereafter.
You will also find that you have favorite teffilos because some teffilos will touch your soul more than others.
I believe it is normal to feel a little bit of fear of the unknown. There is always a bit of fear mixed in with the excitement. WE know that no matter what we plan, there is no guarantee that it will turn out that way. We always have to account for bumps in the road and of course twists and turns. That also adds to the excitement but also the fear. Especially in kids. What if I forget to take….. What if my roommate…… what if ….. and what if….its par for the course. B”H teens have colorful imaginations. It only becomes a problem when the fears outweigh the excitement.
Every broker is eager to sell policies to their friends and especially newlyweds who don’t know anything about finances yet. Everything sounds important and necessary to them. Don’t ever commit to anything without speaking to your accountant or financial advisor. As a matter of fact don’t ever speak to an insurance broker. If your accountant or financial advisor tells you that you should purchase insurance then a young couple should call their parents’ broker whom they have for many years to advise them on a policy that is right for them.
Gumball, whether you hate it or not, you are going to have to conquer it so get over it. The more you convince yourself that you hate it the harder it is going to be to accomplish the task. So try to calm down about it and really try to embrace it and make it your friend. Seriously. The more you convince yourself that you hate it and you “can’t” do it, the harder it will be to master it and accomplish it.
What is it that you find difficult? Is it the formula’s? Is it solving the equations or the word problems? Figure out what it is you are getting stuck on and what is not that difficult for you. There are many computer programs to help you with math as well. They are not boring and they can help you get the hang of it in a fun and easy way. Once you realize what the hurdle is and you get past it you will find that you don’t hate math at all but you hated being frustrated and stuck.
If I’m bored.
Eclipse, don’t be so hard on yourself. WE are here if you need us for any reason at all. So do whatever you need to do or want to do. But if you need us, don’t hesitate to come and vent or call upon us for whatever you need us for.
It all depends on whether this is your steady mechanic that you trust. A mechanic you don’t know should call you before he does any work to let you know what he is going to do and how much it will cost you. A mechanic that you normally go to and normally fixes your car does what he thinks you want him to do to make your car safe and in working order. In that case, he does what is needed and you pay him for it.
I don’t know what rotors are, but if they needed to be cleaned, and could have caused the noise then they should be cleaned. Cars need regular maintenance and if you neglected to give it the care it needs it will cost you in the end. So it is all a matter of trust. Either you trust him or not. If you don’t you can ask him to show you the proof that the tires cost more or you want to pay the agreed upon price, or that you don’t want new tires at all.
Yogi, I take offense to your comment about the Five Towns!!!
On the other hand you were right to inform the mother. Riding a bike without a helmet is against NY law.
Sometimes math can be looked as a riddle. The answers are sometimes just hidden in the question, or you just need to know the formula in order to figure out the answer so it is just a puzzle you have to solve. Try NOT to get overwhelmed. Just read it as many times as necessary and look for the clues. Or write out the formula on top of the problem so you can follow it in order to figure out the answer. AND don’t try to figure it out in your head because you might forget to carry over a number. If you do figure it out in your head then prove it on paper.
The truth is you sometimes have to look at yourself as a detective trying to solve a mystery in order to figure out the answer. It all makes sense in the end but until you figure it out it seems very confusing.
You really need to sit down with your accountant and figure out what you can afford to do. Yes renting is only throwing money away, but you have to take into account ALL the expenses of ownership which of course is everything everyone said above plus utilities and repairs including boilers, roof leaks, sidewalk repairs, lawn maintenance, etc. You need to look at the whole picture. That is why some people try to build equity slowly by buying an apartment and work themselves up. If you buy an apartment which is only 1/2 of a house or 1/3 of a house and share the costs you still build equity because you are not throwing your $2,000 away each month, you are paying off a mortgage and you still own your apartment which you can sell down the line and use that money as a downpayment for something you can better afford later on.
Only you and your financial advisor know what is best for you at this time. Hatzlocha.
Eclipse, firstly just to clarify for others, the kids can’t attend the “Chupah” they can be there before and after.
As far as whether they should or not attend. You have mentioned on various occasions how abusive your EX was and still is with your kids, and how he is NOT doing a good job with them. Why give him more fuel to be angry and resentful towards the kids. If they want to go let them go. If you don’t allow them to go, it will only cause tension between them and their father and they will suffer for it in the end. Even if it is YOUR choice that they don’t go, if he is angry at them and punish them for not going he knows that will hurt you, so what’s the point?
The CR is a place to be able to discuss topics that people need to discuss in a Kosher Way. If you find it offensive maybe you should NOT be reading them. Try filtering and moving on to the next topic. Anyone has the choice to move on or shut their computer any time they feel something is offensive or inappropriate. Or NOT open that topic to begin with. Trying to deny others the right to speak about what is on their mind or heart is also offensive.
There are enough MODS here to filter what THEY feel is inappropriate and enough posters to comment when remarks are offensive and need to be accounted for. That means in a heated argument when apologies are warranted.