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BSD, what makes the Sem on the bus joke so funny for me right now is that I am sitting in the hospital waiting for my friend to deliver her first baby. So that was quite funny for me. Thanks, it broke up the tension for me.

As far as the Tatta who is nisht in zein hoizen, I think that is either very common or you must know us, because my daughter said that about 25 years ago to the meshulachim at the front door.

Health, these stories are indeed true and it is very common among yeshivas for both boys and girls. This is a “blind” attitude and it is one that “SHOVES” children off the derech without rachmanus. Kids are thrown out of yeshiva and off unto the streets without warning for such an infraction. The punishment does not fit the crime, especially at the end of a school year, especially for a senior, for an excellent student in both midos and grades.

The Rosh Yeshiva should have A) Told the Yenta that he does NOT listen to Loshan Horah B) She is not permitted to Masser C) Asked the Bochur what the circumstances were surrounding the incident and then explained why HE thought it was wrong especially since he had an exemplary record.

edited.

s2021, sorry, yes it can be the whole case. Why doesn’t the Rosh Yeshiva tell such a yenta that you are not allowed to Masser?

You can post most of what you wrote in the first two paragraphs. I just didn’t want to edit your post so much.

I still say a nice leather handbag by a good designer like “Coach”.

Mazal tov. The correct answer is………………buy her what she would like to have. The best present for a baby is usually jewelry. That really shows appreciation and understanding because it is NOT easy to carry and deliver a baby and it deserves appreciation.

If you are NOT in the matzav of being able to afford jewelry then buy her something she would appreciate like perfume, a nice watch, something she might have been hinting about for the baby, etc.

I think that saying “i bring this into the store because that’s what the customers want” is a cop out. It is a viscous cycle. As I said before, if you bring the same thing in at a tznius length, they would buy it as well.

oomis, don’t get me wrong, I agree with you. But if they have to uphold their own rules they should find a way to do it that is NOT so negative and offensive. This is NOT the first time that they erased her from a very important photo.

In NY it is a law that minors have to wear helmets. It might help all of you if you were to see some cracked helmets so you can realize that if the wearers had not worn the helmets it would have been their skulls that would have been cracked. I have seen those helmets in the Emergency room. B”H for the helmets.

OK, so lets ask the appropriate questions here. If the same outfit was available in the store, one that was adorable but at the proper length and the same exact one that was NOT at the proper length, which one do you think will sell out first?

Honest truth would be mean people and chutzpah.

Try calling his rosh yeshiva.

Women have to follow these rules because they want to and not because they are being forced to or because they are bombarded by signs. Also because the choices they are given are pretty and flattering.

The options they have available to them need to be stylish and exciting. If the clothing that bombard them when they enter the stores are fashionable, exciting but not quite what the Rabbi ordered, it makes it very difficult to do the right thing. Especially when the sales people tell them “everyone is buying them, its all the rage. You can always take it to the dressmaker to add to the hem, etc.” But when they go to the dressmaker, she tells them, there is nothing to let down, or if you add a piece it will look awful and it is fine the way it is, everyone is wearing it this way. And if you try to return it to the store, they won’t take it back and they again reiterate “it is fine, everyone is wearing it this way”.

I am really sorry to say that the stores need to be held accountable and need to take some achrius here. Frum owners know exactly what they are doing when they bring these skimpy outfits into the store. They know exactly what they are doing when they make their suggestions how to wear them and add a tee shirt or let the hem down. They know exactly what they are doing when they ooh and ah how cute these items look on their clients and how they “must buy them”. They are promoting these non tznius looks just to promote their bottom line. It is easier to buy these available looks and not do their homework for the Frum consumer. It is easier to get the Frum consumer to buy these looks than to work harder to find the appropriate ones.

I think one of the posters said the right thing. Rabbonim in the neighborhood should enter the dress shops and speak to the “FRUM” owners directly. They should have a real conversation and they should let them know that as frum owners they are misguiding the kehilah by bringing in and selling them clothin items that are less than tznius and promoting goyish attitudes. There is nothing wrong with being stylish, but by doing so while in addition being untznius they are sending a message to the general public as well as to our youth that you can’t be stylish and tznius at the same time.

The Rabbonim should be very clear, obviously they cannot control what the department stores sell. But they can advise their Kehila members which stores to shop in and which stores they should absolutely not shop in. Store owners can absolutely ask their suppliers to get them the same styles with longer skirts, longer sleeves, etc. If they don’t ask, they won’t receive. If everyone has the same requests, their requests will be honored.

If you know why they don’t want you it is probably not worth pursuing. You will probably not change their minds. If they are looking for big bucks and you don’t come with big bucks they are not going to change their minds. If they are looking for a serious learner and you don’t fit the bill, they are not going to change their minds. If they know something about you that they find offensive they are not going to change their minds. The only way they will reconsider is if a few years go by and the two of you are still hanging around.

If you don’t know why they don’t want you, then it might be worth finding out. They might NOT have a valid reason, and you might just need the right shadchan or Rabbi to make this dream a reality.

Only you know the truth about your particular situation. Don’t try to fool yourself if you really, truly don’t have a chance with this girl. There are so many wonderful girls out there who are just waiting for a great guy to call them, so don’t go chasing after someone who won’t give you the time of day. Hatzlocha.

No signs don’t work and are offensive. The only way to make changes is by example or by shiurim and by getting excitement going on doing the right thing such as the shmiras haloshon campaign. By doing things in a positive manner, you get much more accomplished. If someone starts a “tznius campaign” in BP like the Shmiras Haloshon campaign it might take hold, and even spread to other neighborhoods.

BSD, never miss an opportunity to tell your parents (or your children) that you love them!

mewho, maybe she misses your parents as well, or maybe she is wistful about the losses in your lives. She might have been remembering the past and the good times as well as what she has lost and the losses you suffered as well. You can ask her.

Whether you have welcomed her with open arms or told her you appreciate her, if you didn’t really mean it, she might have known. So if she is the only living parent left, and the only grandparent left for your grandchildren how much more precious is this woman who you call “shviger”? No matter how annoying she gets, no matter how uncomfortable you feel, what does this woman deserve from her children and grandchildren when she is all alone? What does she really mean to you? Is there anything that you need to do to change your attitude about her?

Your original post was about getting rid of her and getting YOUR life back to normal. Your life may never get back to what you consider normal. THIS might be your normal for a while until it gets even more complicated and invasive. And as your shviger gets older and possibly has medical and emotional issues it is not her that will be able to change and be in control of her attitude or emotions or even actions. YOU are the one that will have to change and learn how to deal with what is happening to her, how to deal with her needs, wants and wishes while maintaining your home, family and hopefully your sanity.

You might need the help of a therapist that you can vent to, a good friend that will lend you an ear to chew on, or a very generous Rebetzin who can help build your strength and emunah. Whatever happens, Hatzlocha, we are rooting for you.

Mothers day is special because WE are honored for being mothers. And we are joined together with our daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers, mothers-in-law and all other mothers in a unique understanding that anyone who is NOT a mother does not understand.

It depends on the size of the room. Most young couples get at leas 48″ beds today if they can’t fit full size. I don’t know of any young couples who still purchase twin size beds.

I don’t think anyone can really answer this question unless you are there. If someone drops in front of you I believe you either freeze or you act. You either panic or adrenaline takes over and you act. You might not jump to give mouth to mouth, but you probably would drop and start compressions.

Any time you make a trip to Washington, you should research what is open when. Many places are closed on Mondays. Also know which places you need ID for, and there are some places that make you take your hat off. So if you are going with women who are wearing baseball caps or hat falls with hats, there could be problems.

Here is a little secret for all those who want to break free and fly into the real world. Shhhhhhhhh don’t tell anyone. Ok, are you ready? The real world is nuts. It is full of crazy people with blue hair, earrings all over their bodies, and crazy colored tatoos wherever their beautiful clean skin used to be. They speak strange languages that sounds something like english but not quite because the words have only four letters and the clothes they wear seems like they outgrew or went into the dryer by mistake because they are either too small, too tight, too short, or just plain too something. They walk on stilts because everyone seems to want to be taller than everyone else, or they are afraid of their heels touching the sidewalk. They also walk in pairs and groups and walk right past you as if you were invisible, sometimes taking your purse with them. They don’t care if they step on your foot, spill their coffee on you, or knock you down. Isn’t that strange? Yeah, you would think they were all on drugs or something especially since everyone seems to be talking to themselves. And everyone has something growing out of theirs ears, its so odd what this world has come to.

OK, in all seriousness hold on to all the chinuch you were taught in your homes and in your schools. Because believe me you are going to need it. Know that Hashem is always with you and is always watching over you. Remember that you represent HIM and your relationship with him. “Da lifnei me atah omed”. Know before whom you stand. You are always standing before Melech Malchei Hamelachim, whether you are at home, in High School or out in the big, big world. It doesn’t matter if you are sitting in a classroom or in an office. You have to be yourself in all situations. You have to represent YOU and not where you are. YOU are still a frum young person in any given situation. It matters none that everyone else around you are speaking with a fowl mouth. If YOU do not use that language then DON’T do it. It is NOT cool to change who YOU are because that is what everyone around you is doing. What is cool, is to be YOU, and make THEM respect YOU for who YOU are. It is not cool to raise your hemline because that is what everyone you are working with does. It is cool to be yourself and dress the way YOU dress and have them respect and admire you for having style and grace and still be modest. If you don’t wear slits, don’t start because you are now in the real world. If you don’t wear skirts above your knees don’t start because now you are in the real world. If you don’t wear your top button open, don’t start now. Don’t start changing who YOU are because you are now in the real world.

YOU are real, very real no matter which world you step into. And YOU can fit into any situation without changing who you are or your individual or moral values or beliefs just because YOU are no longer within the shelter of your home or school environment. YOU are NOT wrong just because you are not part of the majority or are not willing to conform to what they consider “normal”. YOU are respectable because you live up to your own moral code and you own your own value system that is NOT influenced by the NORM but is influenced by what is right and wrong and by a higher authority.

So please enjoy your freedom, but make sure the choices you make are your choices and good choices for you and are not influenced by what others do and what others want of you.

PLEASE TRY TO KEEP YOUR POSTS TO A MINIMUM OF WORDS.

Peter King said Osama was shot in the face and it is NOT as gruesome as it is made out to be. I want to see it for myself. I am sorry to say this but after the picture in my mind of a baby’s throat slashed, I want to savor that picture of Haman Harasha with a bullet through his head. Somehow that is a comforting thought. Americans have never cheered nor gathered to celebrate anyone’s death as l’havdel the arabs do. This is a very different and unusual circumstance.

That picture should be posted and circulated for the entire world to see balanced with a photo of all the destruction and lives he wiped out. A shot in the face was not enough torture and pain for the pain he caused the entire world. His true onesh is in the world to come.

apushatayid, not funny. Actually, my daughter said it was much easier for her if we come to her than if she comes to us. It was her request not mine. She is at the end of her pregnancy. And it was much easier for her to sleep in her own bed (as well as the kids) and sit at the table while her hubby and I cleared. As far as my daughter-in-law, she begged us to come for the second days. Her own parents and grandparents go to her the first days and she loves to have the company for herself and her kids. As soon as I got there my oldest granddaughter gave me a smiley sticker. My 20 month old said “I yuv you Bobby”.

Since you don’t know my relationship with my kids, it was way too much of a stretch and an assumption on your part. So no it was not funny and a little bit of a dig. I am always their for them when they call and need me. And when they request my company, I try to oblige as well.

BTW, my children saw this in my home as well. When WE were their age, WE made Yomim Tovim at home and WE invited their grandparents to our home as well. I chose to honor our parents and realized it was easier for me and harder for our parents as the years went by.

Is the epitome of my father a”h.