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Start by counting your blessings and don’t get caught up in the nonsense.
probably ” i dunno”
Our community has shown support in many ways when goyim were killed. Please keep i mind that in big disasters in other countries it is Israel and their medics that are first on the scene to help. I local communities unless it is highly publicized we don’t usually mix in the public eye because when the point is “rage” we try to stay quiet, but quietly when things happen to our neighbors we do show support and mourn with them. Mentchlichkeit is always in the forefront and being human is always key.
Actually I am bubbysitting.
It would be nice if some Safe park or play ground was donated or established in BP in his name. That would definitely be much more appropriate and serve a better purpose. Naming the avenue will just bring back fearful memories and questions to all the kids in the neighborhood. Leiby’s nature was to help people. Establishing a park in his honor would be much more appropriate and beneficial to kids his age and others and a better way to remember him IMHO.
Goq, did you change your screen name?
As for Hocker, it seems that your screen name says a lot.
bpt, I decided a few years ago that I wasn’t waiting to “feel” old or get old to enjoy Miaimi. And that I was not going to let “age” be a factor in my life. I enjoy Miami now and my kids and grandkids come for a week to 10 days at a time to enjoy it with me during the winter months. We also go for the yomim tovim. We are not lucky enough yet, to own a home in E’Y, so Miami will have to do for now.
Why wait till we don’t have the Koach to enjoy it with our kids and grandkids? As each year passes do I feel older? Maybe a little bit, but I try to spend as much time with my grandkids as possible and they keep me feeling young.
Really the only thing I fear is relying on others when I am older. I am a doer and a giver and it is hard for me to ask for help.
Hocker101, in today’s economy it is not always possible to have enough help to satisfy all the customers all of the time. We each have to have patience and be understanding. A big business can afford to do that and should. A small business, not so easy and one person might have many responsibilities. Patience is a virtue and that is something we all have to work on.
Can you call this a “trifecta”? 🙂
Hocker, if you ate it you are obligated to pay for it. Your patience does not factor into the obligation. You do however have the right NOT to go there if you don’t like their customer service. Just because you are ready to leave, does NOT mean they have to be ready to serve you. Had you been ready 10 minutes before or 10 minutes after you might not have had this encounter and the owner might have been sitting by the register.
If there is no one to take your money at the register in Walmart and you try to leave without paying for what you want, you better believe you will be spending a night with room and board courtesy of local government.
There are times you just have to take the focus off yourself and just realize that everyone is not there to always serve you when you snap your fingers. Sometimes you just have to wait, just as when you are busy with one child or one client others have to wait. Or if you are on the phone and your Mom wants to talk to you and you tell her “I’m on the phone give me a minute”.
I can hear the frustration and do understand how you must have felt when you are rushed and your hot and bothered, and you have to wait. Even a minute can seem like ten, but maybe bringing it to the CR was not the best choice you could have made. Some things you just have to deal with and accept.
what about hunting fox?
Happiest, first I would like to send you a huge bear hug because everyone can use a hug everyday especially when they are hurting inside. Second, when you are angry at someone it is very difficult to show compassion towards them or serve them with the same focus, attention and energy than when you are on good terms with them. Davening would fall into that category. We are obligated to show hakaros hatov and to daven to Hashem, so if you do it grudgingly, obvious it would be a very difficult task or it would be done completely without meaning.
I am wondering if the words of Tehillim would be a nechama for you. Some times when I am feeling angry and frustrated instead of davening I turn to Tehillim to feel better because it expresses such a huge array of feelings and emotions. No matter which kapitel you turn to, you can correlate something in there to something that is going on with you or at the very least an emotion you are in touch with. And obviously it is possible that the tears will flow, but that is fine. At times I read the words of my Tehillim right through the anger and the tears until I felt better, validated and reassured.
When you daven the same teffilos everyday, I don’t believe we always pay attention or really understand the words. On the other hand when we pick up a Tehilllim we usually say it with such Kavonah, as if we want to rip an answer from its pages or we are begging for an immediate result.
That is how I feel and the difference for me. Is it possible that you feel differently about Tehillim and that you can try to say some Tehillim just to soothe your own inner turmoil?
Mw13, “I’m sorry, but you’re being ridiculous. Telling a parent or teacher what their kid/student is doing is simply not a question of mesira. Ask any Rav or Possek.”
OK, so WE disagree. It is massering and unless you know how to help the child or you know what the situation is, then in all honestly you are not looking to help anyone just to pass on information. In what way does it help to ring the bell and let the parents know what you saw. How can you know that would help or what the outcome of your report will be. And same goes for going to a Rav with the information”. If you were someone close to the family and saw something, you would KNOW whether or not to tell the parents and how to do it. Such as “Is something going on with your son? I saw something that concerned me and thought I would just ask if everything was OK and if there was anything I could do to help.” If they ask what it was you would then say “I’d rather not say. Maybe I can talk directly to your son about it.”
If one was truly concerned and went to see the Shul Rav you can say “I saw something that concerned me. One of the kids in my neighborhood was mechalel shabbos with a computer on his front lawn in the middle of the night. How can I help him and what should I do with this information?”
FYI, it is NEVER your business to go to kid’s school and masser on them, ever. Even if you are “so absolutely sure” you saw what you saw. Stay out of it, it is NOT your business. You will be the one to start the ball rolling or cause the last straw that gets that kid kicked out and on the road to OTD. Everyone that passes through the life of a child has an obligation to that child. And if you know what the outcome is going to be of your meddling then don’t do it. Going to the school will get the kid thrown out and everyone knows it. That is a given, so stay far away. Going to the parents might not be appreciated either. So sometimes or rather most times it is best to just forget what you saw. Consider it your nisayon. Hashem is testing you to see if you will be a mosser and spread loshon horah or if you will mind your own business.
In your interpretation it might not be messirah at its highest level where it involves the authorities and goyim, but none-the-less, if you masser on someone no good will come of it.
If you feel he is moving too fast, let the shadchan know. Or simply say, “wow, this is moving too fast we need to slow down”. Keep the dating to once a week so you have a little control and you pace it. Let him know that he can’t call you unless it is a planned phone call. Let him know that you like him but that you are feeling that he is way ahead of you and you need the time and space to catch up.
Chein, I and other posters are interested in keeping our children safe and no longer sacrificing their minds, bodies and souls on the very small chance that there will be a false claim. The odds lean heavily 96% toward true claims on this issue and on those odds alone are enough to start putting our precious children first. Adults can take care of themselves much better than kids can, even in the small off chance that a Frum child will bring a false claim. And again, in the goyish world there is a less than 4% statistic of false claims. In the Frum world where kids are so very sheltered and have no knowledge on this issue, the “false” claims odds will in all probability be even less than 3%.
Posting stories of false claims doesn’t prove anything. Would you like to hear the stories of real abuse? Fortunately and unfortunately the Mods won’t let the real details through. So what stories do you want to hear aside from the gory details. Do you want to hear how their lives were ruined. How they went from one abusive relationship to another after that? How they never married? How they turned to alcohol and drugs to ease their pain and trauma? How they went OTD? Or do you want to hear from the families who’s kids committed suicide or died from an overdose of self-medication?
Ben Levi, the reason I don’t answer you is because there is no point. You are not interested in knowing the true facts as “others have pointed out to you” and you are not concerned with the victims. You just like to argue and win. So I’m not going there. I have better things to do with my energy than play games or be bated by nonsense.
bortezomib, you explained the situation and made a decision according to the p’sak you received. Don’t worry about it. You did everything you should do in such a situation and you have to respect yourself for that. Your boss will respect you as well. If you are that devoted to your beliefs then you will be that devoted to your job as well. You are obviously someone they can trust.
Mods, thank you for posting this to show How and Why you do what you do. It certainly does show how and why some of the discussions do get so heated and why many get hurt. Some people just like to cook it up.
I have been involved with the At-Risk community for many years. I have mentored and coached quite a number of kids. And some just simply became members of our family and still are. We have had 11 boys stay at our home over the years. One who we consider a son moved in and out and when he moved back in was already 21. My hubby told him, as he always had in the past that the front door gets locked at 12:00. We have a combination lock that they knew, but we also had a double bolt. He looked at my hubby with all his grown up bravado and said but “I’m 21” and my hubby said, “and these are MY rules. At 12:00 you are either on this side of the door or the other. You choose”.
So yes I have experience as well, and kids respect you for helping them when you really take a true interest in them and love them just for being a Jewish child.
mw13, as in the past. I am NOT going to argue with you for the sake of arguing. YOU ask your RAV what the meaning of massering is and if it ONLY applies to goyim. My parents raised me NOT to masser on my siblings, friends or anyone. That is the proper thing to do. In High School my principal punished the “snitch” for massering. I thank Hashem everyday for having had such wonderful parents and for raising me the way they did. I wish everyone could have known them and learned from these heroes (survivors of the holocaust). Anyone who knew them certainly benefited from them.
Mods, lets not redo the old thread. Both points were made. Starting a new thread about it with the same attitude is not going to change anything.
There are SOME shadchanim who do not “listen to understand”.
There are SOME parents who get in the way of their children’s shidduchim.
There are SOME boys who depend too much on what their mothers think and don’t stand up for themselves.
Then there are others.
anon1m0us, and that’s the kind of attitude that gets you somewhere! Kol hakovod.
It is “funny” how “funnest” has somehow reared its head and snuck in.
Scissors, B’sha’ah tova. I wish you a speedy “delivery” and speedy recovery>
The “funnest” thing I do in the summer is teach my grandchildren how to swim. Nachas, nachas, nachas.
The NEWS reported early on that the attorneys were hired by the family. If the court appoints attorneys for you, you get what you get. They are usually NOT high profile attorneys who are involved with indigent clients. I am pretty sure that you have to prove to the court that you can’t afford to pay for your own defense team before they appoint one for you.
If a rum person is eating a meal in a foil pan wrapped with foil and plastic eating with plastic flatware, anyone who “sees him” can tell he is NOT eating the same food as others. If he is wearing a baseball cap covering his yarmulka, then you can’t know for sure so he is NOT causing a ma’aras ayen and one would have to get closer to check it out. At which point they would see he is NOT eating the treif food but separate food.
Massering is massering, and if you masser to the parents or a Rav you have no control of the results of your interfering. So YES I am going to go there.
But now Sender says the kids will get “potched” so we know that at the very least, that is what will happen. So again, I will say that if you Masser, at the very least Sender you will know that the kids will get “potched” so how are you helping the situation and what is the point then of you telling on them?
If the point is “how do I help these kids”? Then I made a suggestion about how to help the kids. If the point is “how do I get these kids in more trouble than they are already in”? Then I am NOT getting involved in that.
ChanieE, of course that is true, but some times these business lunches can go on for two hours or more. So sometimes that doesn’t work. Eating out of a paper bag certainly explains the situation and wearing a baseball cap helps as well. I doubt that a treif restaurant allows outside food in to reduce their bottom line either. But if he could eat before and just stick to fruit, yogurt or drinks, that would be helpful. By speaking up, it would clue the boss to make arrangements in a kosher restaurant if they want to do it again.
This is always a funny question. For each person “THEY” are in town and the other is “OOT”. It is appropriate for a boy to go meet the girl and her parents the first time if possible. Many families make different accommodations depending on the ages of the “daters” involved. There really are no rules, you do what works out best for the couple. If you start with What the Rules are, you are starting off on the wrong foot and not giving the shidduch the importance it deserves. Try to work things out according to what works best for both.
Sender Av, if you tell their parents isn’t that akin to “messirah”? Why does everyone only recognize “messirah” when it involves the other issue? This is also messirah. In all honestly it is NOT your place to reveal to the parents what you saw. Not even to the Rav. However, since you are a young man and not “old” like their parents, maybe you could be a mashpiah on such kids who sometimes need a “big brother” or someone to look up to. That is if you really care and want to get involved. Just start by saying hi to the kid when you see him and ask how he is doing. Don’t immediately zoom in and speak to him about being mechalel Shabbos. You can offer to play basketball with him, or ask him if he can help you figure something out on your phone or computer. After all he does live on the block and you do know him, right? If you strike up small inconsequential conversations you can build up to being friends and have a positive influence on him.
You don’t know what his issues are. But maybe because you are older than he is but yet still NOT in his parents category he might ope up to you and allow you in.
Would it be possible for you to say that obviously for religious reasons you can’t have lunch at a non-kosher restaurant, and it is preferable that you are NOT seen in one. But obviously, if it is an important business meeting where you will gain information and exchange ideas, and if s/he feels it is necessary for you to be there you will bring along your own lunch and join them.
In that way, you can explain your religious obligation while still acknowledging your willingness to be part of the team.
a mamin, Therapists can only help those who come! Victims who do not have support of the community and the Rabbonim shy away from therapy because if their own immediate community don’t have the seichel to believe and support them they shut down and don’t reach out any more. Lets take that a step further, if you go to a Frum therapist that you can afford, basically through a Jewish Agency or a group that get referrals from Rabbonim and are following their p’sak NOT to report, can not do as much as necessary to help them.
So if no one will reach out to a child that is being molested in the home, or believe a child that was molested in the school who is going to take that child to therapy?
Ben levi, I will address you first. Because I have the facts which you don’t AND we don’t have statistics from FRUM organizations that are accurate because “Frum people don’t report”. How many times does this have to be said. Anyone can google the statistics that I myself received on a visit to Albany. And am NOT going to argue this point any further. I know what I am talking about. I am involved in the issue and you have NOT claimed that you are. So no matter what you say here, your knowledge and experience in this issue just does not compare. I know that you mean well, i honestly do, but you are just plain not seeing the full picture and therefor I have no intention of arguing the points any further. There is no point. You will all choose to believe what you choose to believe no matter what I say or others say or even what the Agudah and R’ Eliyashuv has said. I explained it further but unfortunately it wasn’t posted and there is no point in repeating it over and over again. I gave the facts. I can’t force feed them to you, no can I open your eyes and open your brains for you neither. I just pray that you don’t have to find these things out for yourself personally.
The only other thing that I would suggest is that you don’t close yourselves up so tightly and invite some victim/survivors into your lives. Listen to their side of the story. Listen how their lives were destroyed. Look at someone who’s life could have been saved had someone had the seichel to protect them appropriately.
Momma, Just because you might be a great friend for her to have right now, that doesn’t mean that the opposite is true. In all types of relationships there are times that one has to review where things stands and see if the friendship works in both directions. That is why friends drift apart and new friendships begin.
middlepath, you ask some very interesting questions:
!. why do I deserve such a great girl?
2. will she be able to deal with difficult issues
Firstly understand that everyone is deserving. If Hashem sent you this amazing gift then who are you to question his wisdom? Why shouldn’t you be as deserving as anyone else? Maybe you are exactly what SHE needs to complete her? Someone honest, down to earth who has seen the best of times and the worst, who knows how to appreciate what Hashem gives and also knows that Hashem can just as easily take it away. Someone who can teach her that life is not always a bed of roses and yet you can meet life’s challenges and still turn out to be an example of what Hashem wants and expects of us.
Your second question is more complicated and not so easy to answer. Unless you yourself have serious conversations with her, there is no way of knowing what personal challenges she herself has experienced in the past. Even though everything looks very rosy that is not always the case. In addition, even though she in her young age might not have weathered many difficult challenges she might have aided or supported those who did by means of cheesed and especially if she had friends who went through hard times. Just because she looks or seems perfect that does not mean that she is a china doll that will crack and break if shaken up a little too hard.
Through getting to know her and hearing her speak about her own experiences you will learn to understand who she is what she is all about. What she is capable of what she still plans to accomplish.
I hope this helps somewhat. Hatzlocha.
Peacemaker, for every case that you mention of a false report, there are thousands upon thousands of “true” reports and thousands upon thousands of cases that never get reported. Are you saying that we should have more compassion for that one in thousands more so than the thousands of children that are molested throughout the country in their supposedly safe homes, safe schools and safe neighborhoods?
There is a shul in Boro Park where a well known child molester has been hanging out for years. No one did anything about it. People who are regulars just know to stay away from him and keep their kids away from him. Unfortunately those who are NOT regulars fall prey again and again. Is that right? Do you know how many children could have been saved just from him alone had anyone taken it upon themselves to report him and remove him from the shul? Their claim is “Everyone knows about him and knows to stay away”. Is that good enough for you? Do you know which shul I am talking about? What if you don’t and you walk in with your kids? Are you comfortable about that? You are going to daven in shul and taking your kids to perform the same mitzvah and just because no one wants to report this pedophile your kid might be his next victim.
There is a guy that hangs out at the mikveh most of the day. You and your boys don’t know that because it is NOT your habit or you are new to the neighborhood. “Everyone” knows about him. Really? Everyone but you. Do you feel comfortable about that? How come you don’t know? How come he is there? How come no one does anything about it? What business does he have hanging around there?
Lets understand that the proper authorities know how to weed out false claims and yes some do fall through the cracks and those are the ones that you hear about. AND unfortunately some claims against abuse also fall through the cracks and those predators get off and those victims are not believed. it is the same story in reverse. These things happen but that is NOT a good enough reason to risk the larger portion of the innocent community.
Zeeskeit, seriously you want to compare a “potch” to molestation? You are so far off base there is no point discussing this with you. Your head is buried so far in the sand it hasn’t seen the light of day in a very long while. Now you are going to say that even the Agudah is wrong for their long awaited change of heart? Why not try to listen to what Zweibel said on Zev Brenner it is still posted.
And FYI, kids would never ever say “run to the police”. Are you a mother? You should know that. If you had anything to do with the victims of abuse or were involved in the therapeutic community in general you would know that.
Furthermore, there are many threads on the YWN with many topics that I am NOT familiar with and therefor do NOT involve myself in. Then there are topics that I have great knowledge and much experience in and those are the ones that I take time to respond to. Some of them are very important but none as important as this one. And no I am not “heated” nor “excited” and don’t need to calm down. Maybe you and some others need to get more “cooked up”. I am quite calm and have repeated what I have said here more times than I can count. This is NOT the first discussion on this topic. I tend to repeat it over and over again for those who choose to ignore it to the detriment of our innocent children. But B”H the Agudah has reached a point where they can no longer ignore it or push it under the wrong and they have given a very clear and concise statement that advocates having been requesting for a very long time, especially since R’ Eliyashuv himself gave his p’sak.
If you feel that I have offended you and others it does not compare to the condescending attitude that you have taken as have others in trying to quash this issue and my opinions on this issue in this thread and others and accuse me c”v of all kinds of horrific and hurtful accusations against Torah and frumkeit. But that doesn’t hurt me as much as innocent children being karbonos for the sake of grown ups whose teivos are covered up because of who they are or what family they belong to.
The statistics show that less than 4% in the goyish world are false accusations. There is no numbers that can be researched since the lack of reporting in the Jewish world. Therefore it is same to assume that there would be even less than 4%. I am no longer willing to risk at the very least 96% of true molestation cases where there are thousands of kids that can be saved each year. Our kids are way too important. Statistics show that each predator will strike on the average 400 times in his career as a molester. That means multiple times to one victim or as many as 400 victims to one perpetrator. How many children are YOU willing to risk for one possible false claim that will be cleared up by the proper authorities? Weigh the risks. I and most of the Frum people I know, especially after Leiby’s death are no longer willing to risk these tremendous odds.
As for “Mommy”. My Mom a”h, always said “book knowledge is worth every penny. But common sense is priceless. Seichel kemen nisht koifen”. I or rather WE don’t have baseless seichel.
Happiest, it means if you know for sure. Anyone that was molested knows for sure without a doubt.
momma, if you are not friends you are not friends and it is not fair of her to turn to you right now. Is there a reason why you can’t say “I am very surprised that you called, we haven’t been friends in quite a while. I am truly saddened by your news and wish you hatzlocha but honestly I have moved on with my life.”
Please don’t give it all up. Take what Hashem has laid out for you and appreciate it. Stop and smell the roses.
Zeeskite, maybe you should research the subject first before commenting. Please read the thread “frustrated” so you can learn a little more from a victim herself. But thanks for your concern about me. MY MOMMY taught me well, thank you. Even Zweibel, if you listen to last night’s show, says Raglayim l’davar means if you know for sure. Anyone who was touched inappropriately or was “molested” knows for sure, there is no need to discuss it with a Rav. They know where they were touched and how. Do you need a description?
My Mom a”h always said, when they came to round up the Jews they didn’t care if you were BT, FFB or not Frum at all a Jew was a Jew to them and a Jew is a Jew to me too!
I’m not “Wolf” but I can offer my “two cents”. Its not YOU its THEM. It really isn’t your issue and it never will be. People who put up a fence or a draw a line in the sand will always be that way. Either they were brought up that way or they just don’t know better. There is nothing you should do or could do to change that. The best thing you can do for yourself AND your family is be yourself. Enjoy what you choose to enjoy. There are plenty of Jewish artists as well. Hashem gives everyone different gifts and different talents. So if he gifted you with an eye for art or music, then you are lucky to be the receiver of that gift and don’t ignore it or take it for granted.
The only ones you need to please is Hashem and yourself. Everyone else are really not as important. As long as you are following Hashem’s wishes, you are not doing anything wrong. If you ask a question of a FFB and the best they can come up with is “because that is what WE do”, the reason probably is because they don’t know why they do it.
THEY are not better than you. YOU are Hashem’s child the same as they are. And you have to give yourself a lot of credit for giving things up to be who you are today. It is so much easier for “US” to be FFB. We don’t know any other lifestyle. It is not so hard “not to do” what you are NOT used to doing. But giving up things that was normal to you, and choosing not to do it is a remarkable sacrifice and understandably a difficult thing to do which is something that should be respected and not shunned or looked down upon. To put it in simple terms. It is not difficult to stay skinny if you were always skinny. But it is much more difficult for someone to give up their old habits and all the foods they love to be as skinny as everyone else and maintain that knowing how good those things tasted and felt to them. I can remember before I married having my hair flow freely in the wind. That was a wonderful feeling that I can no longer experience for the past 36 years. There are many times when I wish I can rip off my sheitel and feel that way again, but I can’t.
You made a decision to give up an old lifestyle that included many things that you loved to embrace a new lifestyle that you love. But that doesn’t mean that everything in your past was NOT kosher. Please make sure that you don’t give up permissible pleasures and then come to resent that. That is NOT what Hashem wants of you. And please don’t measure frumkeit by the standards of those who choose to judge you or make comparisons towards you. That is NOT what Yiddishkeit is about and it is NOT what Frumkeit is about. Those who do that can learn a few things from the BT community.
Sometimes it helps to take a hot shower and start all over. The shower is relaxing and calming and will help clear your head of whatever is in there blocking your sleep. Make your bed before you get into the shower, take fresh pajamas so when you come out of the shower everything is fresh and inviting. Then start over.
Happiest, are you keeping a daily journal? That helps sometimes to sort out your thoughts and your feelings. Some times it just feels better to vent out your feelings as you are feeling them, your thoughts as well. You can review them any time you want. So you can look at how you were feeling yesterday for instance or what your thoughts were negative or positive and use that as a starting point to let your friends know what kind of support you need. It sounds like you don’t want people to “tell” you what to do, what to think nor how to feel. Even though there are things that you need to change and of course you need to move forward and get on with your life, but you really don’t want to hear it from anyone but your own inner voice.
It might be more helpful if you would just allow your friends to just ask you straight out “how are you feeling today? What kind of mood are you in? In which direction would you like me to guide you?” In that way if you are feeling lousy and you need cheering up you can let them know and they can tell you jokes, invite you out for lunch or a movie, or whatever helps you to lift your spirits. If you “feel” like talking you can let them know and they can tell you when they are available to come over or if you should meet up with them, but “H”, you need to be clear if you are asking for advice or just need them to “listen to understand”. Normally people are NOT intuitive enough to know for themselves which way you want them to go.
I read the article. You did a great job. You relayed your story with much less anger than when you told your story here. You and your story will have a tremendous impact on many people who “don’t understand” and many who needed validation.
Happiest, one thing you should understand is that depression itself fills the brain with negativity and makes one feel like “no one cares, my life is hopeless, why bother, etc.” Many times you don’t get the true or real picture but one that is a little skewered. In a addition as others said, although people care, if you don’t tell them what kind of support you need from them, they are put in an awkward position because they don’t know how to help you other than to love you. People don’t know what to say and they can wind up saying stupid and hurtful things that can sound like they don’t care.
Please try and be specific. Call a friend when you need support or company and try to verbalize what you are feeling and what it is you need. Don’t expect them to know or guess.
Obviously the choice is up to each parent/family to decide how to handle peace of mind in their own homes.
I disagree, there is a time and a place for everything. Today we wonder how we managed before cell phones. Well I can tell you this, I didn’t allow my then teenage children to get into the car alone without a cell phone. That was the high tech device that I needed for my sense of security. That was the rule, if you take the car you take a cell phone and they didn’t use it to talk on like today it was too expensive and more respected, they had it in case of an emergency so you can call us right away.
There is nothing wrong with using whatever technology is available for the sake of safety and peace of mind. If that is what a parent feels will give them peace of mind when a child is walking alone somewhere, or when a child is first allowed to walk home alone, or till they reach a certain age where a parent is more secure that they know how to ask for help or know better how to take care of themselves then why not? We are not handing out cell phones to kids so if this is something parents can do to keep track of their children then why not? Obviously if a parent is trying to track a teen, the teen will not wear it, so that argument is worthless.
Yes if you ask a RAV tell him what your Doctor said, usually a Rav will follow the Doctor.
There really isn’t much one can say other than “that’s so sad, I wish you could have shared “good” news with me. This must be very difficult for you. How can I offer my support at this difficult time?” You can also add “I have big shoulders if you need a shoulder to cry on, I give great hugs if you need one, and I am a good listener if you need to talk. I am here for you in any capacity that you need me.”
This will give your friend a good feeling that you care and that she is not alone because when you go through such a loss you feel isolated.
A ResMed machine with humidifier and the smallest mask they have. But the pillows although they are soft are irritating because they are still too big for me and they have it set at 7 lbs of pressure. So the force of it hurts so I am not sure if that wakes me up or I happen to wake up and notice that it is bothering me so I take it off.