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DY: If Mr. Rechnitz’s reasoning (which he gives above) why it is better for chasanim to get married younger is correct, then it is equally applicable in the short term as it is in the long term. You are free to disagree with him. But why do you think the litvishe chasanim who get married younger today (and there always have been such, such as Mr. Rechnitz’s son-in-law, TBONTB and others) are in greater SB danger than their contemporaries who get married a couple of years older?
I understood the term and meaning in its original context of litigation. Applying it here you are asking a) two nogeah b’dovors to make a decision to select someone other than themselves and b) one of them may agree with the position that himself is the most appropriate selection, which presumably your husband’s suggestion precludes.
Francorachel3: How do you account for periods of war when many young unmarried men die leaving a surplus of unmarried women. Are all those women able to get married even though there are less unmarried men than unmarried women?
DY: If you listen to him on the above linked video, he maintains that if the guys get married younger, at age 20 (like his son-in-law), it will generally INCREASE the shalom bayis.
One thing that concerned me is that Mr. Rechnitz in the original article said a certain significant percent of girls will never be able to get married under the current statistics due to the age gap. This cannot be changed but it could only be fixed for future generations of girls in shidduchim by making the necessary changes.
After negative feedback on this point, Mr. Rechnitz followed up in his next article apologizing for saying the above causing pain and clarifying he didn’t mean what he said. Well, if it is true (and he does not retract the factuality of his original point) he shouldn’t be apologizing for saying the truth however hard it is to accept the fact. In fact, it must be said rather than sweeping it under the rug.
A side point is that the title “no Shidduch Crisis” doesn’t make sense when he then goes on to point out there IS a shidduch crisis due to the age gap.
jf02, what does he mean by that idea?
geordie613, lose interest in the money or in the girl?
can a refrigerator be set to leave the light on all day, even when the door is closed on Shabbos, as we benefit greatly from having a light on in the fridge?
use both together. they both serve different purposes and do not conflict with each other.
The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.
-William Shakespeare
yentingyenta: What’s wrong with using the contact us email?
in the op RebbeDovid wrote the “she would want us to have a different family Rabbi.” sounds like she is insisting he change “family rabbi”. who the family rabbi is should be a decision of his and i dont see any good reason she would demand changing who the family rabbi is.
rebbedovid1, you are completely correct.
it should have been communicated via the shadchan not text. i dont fault him for not wanting to tell her directly especially since he was afraid she would try to convince him to change his mind and that would be inappropriate. but even without that once it was clear they were not going to marry each other it is proper to minimize any contact, like chochom-ibber said, to as little as possible. the reason she preferred to speak to him directly, aside from wanting to change his mind, is because she wanted to lean on their opposite gender relationship. especially considering that they already had an emotional relationship with each other being the opposite gender, it wouldnt be appropriate for it to continue once the decision not to marry was made.
im sure its working out beautifully, but that isnt the most polite thing to ask.
i asked my teacher and was told sam2 is correct that jewish brides wear a white dress because of the talmud in kesubas while the goyim started doing so much later than us.
sam2, so its because the goyim started dressing brides in white or it is because of the talmud in kesubos? (or do you mean the goyim wear it because of what the talmud says??)
sam2, is there any particular reason jewish brides wear a white dress?