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“i heard the 2 things that make someone a religious jew is shabbos and kosher”
This was probably true (along with taharas hamishpacha) in the 1930s.
“Kreiva” is not defined as, or by, touching.
“apushatayid – i was referring to the ones that are permanent the ones that dont come out just from washing it like 5 times.”
Many OTC coloring treatments last several weeks, or more. Having asked the shayla on behalf of my wife, I can say that as far as a chatzitza is concerned, “it depends”, ask a shayla. If you are asking about the hashkafa of doing so I dont think I have much to add to whats been said.
“the guys in college like me they wouldnt say that to me.”
Unless I read everything in this thread I would have difficulty understanding this sentence as it is constructed.
Is it saying, the guys in college, like me, wouldnt say that to me (meaning, other guys similar to you would never say such a thing)?
Is it saying, the guys in college like me, they wont say that to me. Leaving it up to other sentences to indicate whether the writer is male or female.
Either way, what I find disturbing is the following statement:
“but i have no problem with not jewish girls. i always make not jewish girl friends.”
The same way their are boundaries with members of the opposite gender, there are boundaries with non jews. For whatever reason you seem to disregard this. Perhaps it is because you have erected the appropriate boundaries? If you did not, it is just as important. Either way, I still maintain that the most appropriate means of learning appropriate boundaries with members of the opposite gender are through your parents, Rebbetzin, Rav etc. not the internet, as well meaning as people might be.
The over the counter hair coloring treatments are certainly not permanent.
As for interactions with the opposite gender, that is why you have parents, teachers and a family rav.
This might come across as harsh but in my opinion anyone who doesn’t know how to properly interact with members of the opposite gender should not be put in position to to so. I also think that if this was a legitimate option all along it should have been incorported into your chinuch. Forget the opposite gender, people must know the proper boundaries with same gender non jews as well.
Nobody is grading you. But if you want people to understand you…..
No non jewish college goes by halacha. Pay attention in english class to learn how to properly construct a sentence.
Regarding how to properly interact with the opposite gender, that really is something that should have been discussed when to decision to attend this college was made. I assume this decision was not yours alone. Speak to your parents, rebbetzin or family rav for proper guidance.
You never meant…
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
“apushatayid – so you hang out with the other gender?”
You either have a fertile imagination, poor reading comprehension skills, or a combination of both.
“its not a psak to not hang out with the other gender most rabbis unless their mo say its not okay to hang out with the other gender.”
Halacha is unanimous that taking pot shots at other people (and I am not referring to me) is a violation of the lav of onaas devarim even if done on a website with the word yeshiva in its name.
Perhaps he needs a better agent.
“Why? Cause you say so?”
No, because you are wrong. Because nowhere in the Igros Moshe does it say what you claim again and again it says.
“Call up R’ Revain and ask him what his father held if it wasn’t
a ??? ???? to get sick because of smoking?”
I have no reason to call Rav Reuvain and waste his time because you misunderstand soemething written in the Igros Moshe.
Why dont you call him and ask him to explain the teshuva for you.
Even in his second teshuva written in 1981 (the 1st was written in 1964 several months after the first surgeons general warning about smoking) R’ Moshe held one should not start smoking and in fact held it is assur to get addicted, but as far as saying smoking was outright assur he never wrote such a thing. I am very well aware that the sefer Vidibarta Bam (piskei Rav Dovid Feinstien shlita) quotes R’ David as saying that had his father been alive today (I dont know what year “today” refers to) he surely would have assured it. However, that is not an excuse to say that Rav Moshe z’l ruled it an absolute issur to smoke, when in fact he did not. If anyone should admit they are wrong for making claims about what R’ moshe wrote in the Igros it is you. Clearly, you have no intention to. I dont expect you to. This is the last I will write on this matter. (This is an open invitation to let you have the last word)
Whatever company she works for, is not sending her alone to represent the company. Who is she going with? Do her co-workers include other frum, yirei shamayim who could/would be able to keep tabs on her? These and other considerations though are for her and her parents, and her employer if frum to deal with, not you.
“Yes.”
You are wrong.
I’ve seen it. Several times. Often accompanied by the line “dyslexics of the world, untie”.
Im wondering if i live in the wrong neighborhood or daven maariv at the wrong shul. I never see young adults or older girls, (or younger girls or older adults) just shmoozing or laughing anywhere near the front of the shul.
Agreed. I never said otherwise.
“Stop denying what he wrote!”
OK, I admit, you are wrong.
You completely misunderstood his teshuva and why he mentions the sevara of chashash rachuk and its relationship to his comment shomer pesayim Hashem.
I freely admit, you have thoroughly confused me. Are you saying that Rav Moshe z’l wrote in his teshuva that smoking is an absolute issur? Are you now saying that chashash rachuk is now a heter that he is proposing to allow one to smoke? if not, please clarify this line “So if it’s not ????, then there is No Heter!”. What heter?
Did you or did you not put Rav Moshe on a list of those poskim who rule smoking is an absolute issur?
“well, to take that position today is a completely different
story.”
Yet they still do take that position. Perhaps they are crazy. Perhaps not. The APA may have an official position, but a good percentage of its members dont agree with it. If you think they are crazy, so be it.
iacarisma. I was addressing health, not you.
health. no, we are not the same person, but, we both agree that you misunderstand (distort is too harsh a word I decided) R’ Moshe.
“I quoted Rav Moshe that says being that the chance of getting sick from smoking is only a ??? ???? so therefore it’s Mutter.”
Actually, you misunderstood the teshuva completely. The fact that it is a ??? ???? allows us to apply shomer pisayim hashem. Read the teshuva from the beginning. Ordinarily one can not say, I will put myself in a dangerous situation and rely on shomer pisayim… however, he goes on to say what you quoted. He does not use ??? ???? as a basis for permitting smoking, and now that we have more research we can assume he would have assured it. In fact, the very same teshuva strongly encourages people not to start smoking, for parents and rabbeim to discourage their children and talmidim from starting. However, he does not say, as you imply that it is categorically assur to smoke. In fact, in another teshuva he writes that one is is machmir (am pretty sure it is the word he used – but need to double check) not to smoke does not violate lifnei iver by providing a cigarette to someone who does. Again, this does not mean he approved of smoking, far from it. For accuracy sake though, it is not a good habit to misquote poskim, no matter how worthy the cause.
only the black ones
Agree. But those decisions are not normally made with men in mind. Women have their obligation, men have theirs. Sometimes women don’t make it easy on men with the choices they make. The average woman doesn’t have enticing men in mind when getting dresssed in the morning.
No. People like you who attribute things to poskim that they never said are the ones who are dangerous. I know what Rav Reuven shlita said. I know what Rav Moshe z’l wrote. I know what you claim he wrote. You don’t do anyone any favors by distorting things. Certainly not Rav Moshe.
So, in your mind women stand in front of the mirror every morning agonizing over which top to wear with the singular thought, will this get Joseph to stare, or will the other one?
You really do have an over inflated ego.
“So you’re saying that you know better than them?”
Your assumption.
“You know the thought processes of R’ Moshe better than his son?”
Again, thats your assumption. Rav Moshe did not say what you claim he did. His sons said that he WOULD HAVE said it since they know his thought process. You on the other hand put forth a long list of poskim who you claimed stated smoking was an absolute issur. Rav Moshe never said such a thing. All i’m saying.
“Are you for real?!?”
More real that your false attribution to Rav Moshe Z’l.
“I don’t think there is any doubt that an employer is ??? ?? ??.”
surely this is a typo.
“Clothing is worn to avoid nudity.”
Lichavod, Ulitiferes.
“How do your sisters know what men think?”
They read comments such as your recent one “women need to dress tzniusdik is in order that men not overly look at her” and say silly men, we could care less what you think we are concerned with what other women think whether we are dressed for a wedding or a trip to the supermarket.
Your right, its way better to ask anonymous strangers for a ruling in halacha and advice about personal safety than to look for a rabbi in the phone book and call him up.
UberX will be anywhere from 70 to 90 depending on where in the airport you are picked up and where in lakewood you are going.
According to my sisters. Men think women dress to impress men, when in fact all they care about is what other women think of their look.
he was up all night wondering if there really was a dog.
Her parents?
“Obviously”?
Are you a navi? do you have ruach hakodesh? I am not, and do not. Therefore, when people make claims I ask for proof.
“Actually you are!”
No, Im not. Rav Moshe never ruled anywhere that smoking is an absolute Issur despite claims to the contrary. That his Sons and Talmidim say that he would nowadays is not the same thing and stating that Rav Moshe ruled it is an absolute issur. THEY are ruling it is an absolute issur and state that he would agree with them.
“You’re accusing the scientific establishment of being intellectually dishonest?”
So, an APA agenda item that gets roughly 60% of the yes votes and thereby adopts a position means the other 40% are intellectually dishonest if they disagree with the position? Many NARTH members are also members of the APA who happened to vote no.
Your argument that NARTH is a religious organization is as credible as me saying the APA is a homosexual conference because some of its higher ranking mmbers are openly gay.
“unfortunately the doctor isnt a lady doctor so its not tznius to be there with him alone all day long.”
Thank you for your psak.
“I think we need the OP to chime in and give us an update”
Trolls dont update.
On the other hand a job in a medical office with no patients is the perfect place to do school work. Lots of quite and free time. True the doctor would have to ok it she is being paid, but if he is somewhat a mentch why would he say no when she asks?
Do you still maintain that according to the teshuva you cited R’ Moshe holds smoking is an absolute issue? Would he apply shomer pesayim HASHEM to someone who couldn’t stop eating maachalos assurros for example?
Again. I’m not taking the position he is ok with it. I’m not disagreeing with the position of his many talmidim and his own sons who are gedolim in their right and What they say he would rule today. Full disclosure. I don’t smoke. Don’t intend to start. More than discourage my own kids from starting. I can’t stand being around smokers.
I just don’t like when people make absolute statements in the name of poskim without providing a source for it. The coffee room is full of absurd claims made by all sorts of people in the name poskim. It is not crazy to ask for a source. In fact the source you cite indicates it is not an absolute issur although it is clear he does not like the practice.
Health. An impressive list of poskim. It didn’t answer the question. Where is the teshuva from Rav Moshe z’l that it is assur to smoke. I’m Not talking about what he might have said. I’m talking about what he did say. I’m Not taking a position yes or no. I’m taking the position that if someone (anyone not you in particular) says a posek said this is assur (or mutter) they must cite the source.
Make sure you buy a quality smoker. Smoked meat done right is delicious.
Can someone cite the teshuva where R’ Moshe says it is ASSUR to smoke?
Regarding the NISHMA survery, I dont know if I’m parsing words needlessly, but the survey seems to address why people leave THEIR Orthodox community, not THE Orthodox community? Meaning, a member of a chassidishe community leaves the community he was raised in and still claims adherence to taryag mitzvos, but now as a member of say the local Young Israel and not the chassidus. This person is still a shomer torah umitzvos, but is not part of his original community. Were the questions asked with the premise “why did you leave your orthodox community” or were they asked “why are you no longer Orthodox as part of any Orthodox community”?
Only “Tov Shebirofim”. How good could this one be if he has no patients.
Smoking is also gambling. Instead of money, you are betting your health.
See, I didnt claim she was working in a basement, or that the OP made such a claim. I referred to all the previous comments to mine, that the OP didnt refute, or didnt comment on when I wrote my little summary. I still stand by what I wrote, until the OP refutes it (presumably trolls know how to read, not just write, but perhaps I am making too many assumptions about trolls). The OP is a 17 year old girl working alone with a male doctor who apparently has very few patients since it is just her and the doctor all day. The original question appeared to be a halachic concern, which also became one of safety to which the OP finally commented and added, she is also worried about peoples perception if she decides to quit.
So, taking it to the logical conclusion, if there are valid halachic as well as safety concerns this office must be off the beaten path where there is noone else, where there is no chance, even a small one apparently that other people may walk through the door, giving credence to the possibility of a halachic concern of yichud, and others concern for personal safety. If this office was out in the open somewhere, with large bay windows, or in a medical building with other offices and people coming in and out, then the yichud question is that much smaller (leave the door to the practice open?) and the question of her personal safety is that much smaller too. Of course, why assume, surely our 17 year old can read (otherwise who would give her a job in a medical office, except a creep, in which case she should be concerned for her safety, but I digress), perhaps she can provide additional details. Perhaps she can also explain why she has not commented about those who asked whether she discussed this with her parents of family Rav (or any Rav).
Is that how you have a discussion by simply saying the other side is a joke?
That’s not only intellectually dishonest is is childish.
Where?
She is supposedly, 17, where are her parents? Has she expressed her concerns to them so that they can consult the family Rav since this is presented as a halachic question?
For a view that differs from that of the APA look up an organization called NARTH.
To be an eved hashem. To paraphrase Hillel, all else is its commentary, go study it.