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“people crave respect, kvod, recognition, and interest, even in small ways. everyone likes to be greeted and smiled to.”
Dale Carnegie writes in his books, many times, that the nicest sounding word to a person is his/her own name. Try it sometimes. The next time you go shopping say good morning to the clerk and see the reaction, then, the next time you go back say good morning joe and see the difference.
I think its the Meam Loez who writes (he quotes a midrash) that the fulfillment of the passuk occurred when people who were starving resorted to eating the carcasses of dead children and one time a woman eating such a “meal” recognized the body the meat was coming from was her own child. I dont think it means that in a fit of hunger people resorted to killing their neighbors for dinner.
If you can get hold of the tapes/CDs. Rabbi Resiman covered the topic rather thoroughly when covering the perek where shaul dies, davids reaction to the news and his subsequent actions.
He covers the idea of how shaul killed himself (or allowed someone to kill him) and why. Did david sit shiva and why.
He discusses suicide, and sitting shiva for someone who does.
Gives new meaning to the question “who are we having for dinner tonight?”
The encouragement provided by others is truly inspiring.
Where is Snopes.com when you need them?
“Do we REALLY NEED all those things???”
. Do we REALLY NEED a yeshiva tuition for our children or would public school suffice? In my family that would “save” us almost 25k a year.
. Do we REALLY NEED to send our kids to a summer camp (even a local day camp) or could we ask, at least the older ones, to get jobs stocking shelves somewhere. Could be another 4-5k a year.
. Do we REALLY NEED to support all the chessed organizations that exist (at LEAST 10% of our income).
. Do we REALLY NEED to eat kosher food? I estimate that my families food bill would be reduced by 35% if we could do away with this “luxury”.
Please explain what luxuries can be cut out of the average frum families budget so that our wives and mothers need not join the workforce.
Here’s another from the Mi KiAmcha Yisroel files.
I have a neighbor who has forgone, so far, 1 months rent on an apartment he normally rents out, so that a recently separated woman and her children have a place to stay until they get back on their feet. While it has not been confirmed, “the block”, claims he restocks the fridge and pantry once a week as well.
Please feel encouraged to post as MANY posts here as you do in other threads.
I dont know specifically what issues you have with this toothpaste but here is what the OU has to say about the matter
http://www.oukosher.org/index.php/common/article/kashruth_issues_of_toothpaste/
http://oukosher.org/index.php/learn/article/mouthwash/
They basicly say “ask your own Rav”.
But they cant and unlike Volozhin, they made a decision to open/keep open the Yeshivos.
Some songs I find inspiring.
Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, sung by (im almost positive) Shmuel Borger on an early Amudei Sheish tape.
Gal Einay sung as only R’ Abish Brodt can sing it.
Shvartze Wolf as only R’ Shlomo can tell it/sing it over.
Mod. Am aware what the law is. I’m not sure why I assumed it was self understood, but this is what I meant. The gedolim of previous generation were aware that the decision was made regarding the yeshiva in volozhin to close down as opposed to giving in to the government demand for secular studies. For whatever reason (I wont speculate why) they felt that in the US they should incorproate secular studies into the yeshiva day. That decision is still followed by most of todays roshei yeshiva and gedolim.
SOF: I am not familiar with all the specifics of why volozhen Yeshiva closed down, or the teshuva of R’ elchanan. I will assume that if you are familiar with both, so were the gedolim in america of the previous generation who permitted the inclusion of secular studies in their yeshivos, despite volozhen and r’ elchanans teshuva. Todays roshei yeshiva and gedolim in america continue with this derech as well. In fact, in almost every major yeshiva boys are required to attend secular classes as yeshiva policy. I’m not telling you any big news here. All I’m trying to point out is that DESPITE the things you mentioned, they still sanctioned secular studies in their yeshivos.
Surely there is SOMETHING people can contribute to this topic!
Feel free to post YOUR contributions on this thread, as you do on others.
Shlomo Carlebach remains my all time favorite. He may not have had the smoothest voice with the greatest range or the catchiest tunes with the hippest beats, but for music that is inspiring and uplifting, I still find him to be my favorite. R’ Abish Brodt is not far behind.
This has gone from a halachic discussion to one of hashkafa.
Based on the things attributed in the various messages to a number of poskim past and present as well as Roshei Yeshiva past and present it can be pretty much agreed that halachically there is a dispute whether todays electric shavers are considered a taar or not. Independent of that machlokes there appears to be a machlokes as to what constitutes a taar (how it cuts, as opposed to how close it cuts).
Hashkafically too, there is clearly a disagreement (as evidenced by some who cite several yeshivos where a bachur needs permission from a rosh yeshiva to grow his beard).
My personal opinion is, unless you see someone clearly violating halacha by using something which is considered a “Taar” according to all opinions, keep your opinion to yourself. If you are so concerned about his neshama and his yiddishkeit, call his Rav and discuss a plan of action with him.
Mod-42. Are you trying to drive us to your facebook page? 🙂
Texting is electronic communication. It is the same form of communication as sending an email, posting a reply on YWN or posting a message on Facebook (the speed of communication is different and sometimes what is written is moderated – such as YWN – and sometimes it is not)
I completely agree with those who write that texting is not inherently bad, it is how you use the form of communication that makes it “good” or “bad”.
If the picture is for the shadchan as a way to remember who they spoke with and met, I have no problems with it, as long as it stays in the shadchans file. I do have an issue with people demanding to see a picture before agreeing to a date. I have a neighbor with a daughter entering the shidduchim phase of her life and when they were asked for a photo (well, demanded is more accurate) of their daughter, they were so turned off by the shadchans request, how it was “requested” and the reasons given for the request that they promptly sent over a photo of their daughter from her kindergaten graduation.
Whatever the reason for the secular studies in Yeshiva, elementary or high school, the fact remains that the yeshivos provide these classes and the boys are required to attend those classes. This decision was made by the gedolim of the previous generation and continues to be implemented by todays gedolim.
Similar to the story cited by Dr. Pepper, I know someone who was an “english” teacher in the Satmar Yeshiva (elementary school) in Williamsburg in the early to mid 70s. He told me that at the beginning of the school year and every so often during the school year, one of the menahlim of the yeshiva would come into the class and say the following speech to the boys (this is not verbatim, but a general idea of the message said to the boys). You are here in english class because the Rebbe shlita wants you to have these classes. It is fully expected that you behave with derech eretz to the teacher whether he is a yid or not, or whether he is a frum yid or frei and to participate in the class and do all assigned work.
I found a book in the library titled “Teacha” written by a non jew who was an english teacher in a Satmar elementary school in Williamsburg for a few years in the early 80s. In it the author also mentions the fact that the hanhala always stressed to the boys the importance of taking their secular classes seriously and acting respectfully to all teachers.
I’m curious what the subject of this topic means. “Yeshivish Secular Studies”? As opposed to non Yeshivish Secular Studies? Is Yeshivish a typo?
“MAYBE ITS B/C I KNOW THAT ITS PROBABLY B/C I LOOK DIFFERANT THEN THEM”
I’m not certain YOU are sure why you are uncomfortable. Maybe, its because you probably look different than them. Do you look different than they do? Possibly? Probably? Maybe not? I don’t even want to guess how you might look different because it is likely that I will guess wrong. Do you feel people are saying hello to try and pry into your life and to learn about your looking different? Are you uncomfortable with that difference? or the perceived insicerity of the hello?
Whatever the case may be, most people who come over and say hello do so because they simply want to say hello to someone new and make them feel welcome. If you prefer to be left alone, as has been suggested by someone else, slink into the back of the shul, sit in a seat right near the door and run out as soon as davening is over to assure as little contact as possible with everyone else.
My suggestion though, is to allow the kindness of people to positively affect you.
The checkout lines are still very long. Unless you shop at 4am, Tuesday.
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch:
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??????? ???????? ??? ??????? ?????? ??????????? ?????? ????????. ??????????? ??? ??????, ???????? ????? ?????????, ????????? ?????-???????? ??? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ??????? ??????
Unless the KSA holds that todays electric shavers are a “taar”, he permits shaving with them. Rav Heineman is of the opinion that most shavers are not a “taar”, the link to his teshuva on the Star-K website has been posted several times. R’ Heineman also quotes R’ Moshe but unfortunately, doesnt cite the source (a Yad Moshe will find it quickly).
“if you ever tried to moderate a venusian-martian argument you would understand why.”
I cant imagine it is any worse than some of the things discussed here.
“Apy, publicly shaming a specific street is loshon hora. Publicly crying about a real problem like this, is a mitzva. I will not id specific people or blocks or bungalow colonies.”
I’ll do it for you. There are NONE. Someone is making up a problem that doesn’t exist.
“A jacket is an entire appearance, whereas a tie is a minor thing-it doesn’t add/detract from looking respectable as much as a jacket.”
Lets see how this flies on a date. Ever see a bachur show up on a 1st date with no tie? Why should davening be different?
This comes from the Sefer, Halacha Berurah from R’ Dovid Yosef.
Q: Is it permissible to pray the Amida while wearing shorts?
A: Only in areas where it is customary to wear shorts in the presence of prominent and distinguished people, such as in agricultural communities; even in such cases, however, one should not serve as Chazan while wearing shorts (Halacha Berura).
I cant put words in his mouth, but I am sure the Rav would agree that if it is not customary to wear a hat and jacket in the presence of prominent and distinguished people then one does not have to wear them by tefilla either.
Where R’ Chaim Kanievsky lives, it is customary to practically live in ones entire life in a hat and jacket while this is not the case in MANY places around the world. R’ Chaims psak is certainly appropriate for Bnei Brak, you can not foist it on the rest of the world and then say “what casting aside the words R’ Chaim Kanievsky?!!” In fact, I would bet that R’ Chaim himself did not intend for his psak to apply to the entire world.
Where I live, and daven, it is customary to greet distinguished people wearing a suit, yet I dont see anyone wearing a suit to davening, well, except the Rabbeim and a few kollel fellows who always wear ties.
Helpful. The way i see it I am addressing it head on. people making up problems, is a huge problem. Unfortunately, in this age of hiding behind a computer, it is easy to do.
Helpful. Please live up to your name and name ONE street in any frum community where such a problem exists. Remember, the opening comment makes the claim “Its one thing to be going somewhere, but to just be on the street for 3 hours is crazy.” Please name a city/street where you know this to be a problem.
I live in Flatbush. I dont see it on Ave J, Ave M, Bedford Ave., Ocean Parkway, Kings Highway or anywhere in between.
Google Earth is: http://earth.google.com/
“The issue was raised here – TO MAKE THOSE UNAWARE THAT THIS IS A PROBLEM not to project what “offends” anyone onto others.”
The problem is that people are looking for problems and when they cant find any, make them up.
“Chassidim hold one should put on Rabbainu Tam to be Yotze his shita. The Shulcha Aruch agrees that a “chassid” should wear both pairs.”
“The Mishna Berura says it is Gaiva for someone who is not a Chassid to put on Rabbainu Tam Tefilin. (34:3)”
I think some people misunderstood the term “chassid” as used by the Mechaber and Mishna Berura 🙂
Helpful: I’m not familiar with the ostriches in your neck of the woods. The ostriches where I live, have a Rav, who never once in the 10 years that I know him, has ever sent anyone home from shul for lack of a hat or jacket.
Aries: I was being sarcastic. I felt it was nicer than saying, if you can’t figure out what to talk about on a bishow, perhaps your not mature enough to bishow.
Truth is, with all the checking that supposedly goes on before anyone agrees to a meeting, what is there left to talk about? You already know everything about the parents, grandparents, cousins and extended family from both sides at least 4 generations back. The parents finances have been thoroughly vetted, double and triple checked and possibly audited by one of the big 4 firms and perhaps there is even an SEC filing. The schooling, back to kindergarten has been checked and triple checked already. Where the family shops, what they buy when they buy it how they cook it, has already been through the smallest filter on the market.
Why bother speaking at all. Just sit across the table from each other for 25 minutes and if you dont feel threatened by the persons presence, or you dont feel like strangling the other person, go on to step 2 (is that another bishow, announce an engagement?)
Helpful. “Well known” means nothing to me.
People make outrageous statements in the name of gedolim all the time. Like, I have written previously, the statement, as it is presented here on YWN is illogical. I dont own the sefer, and trying to find it is not high on my list of priorities right now, and even if I saw the sefer, anyone with an agenda can write anything they want.
I WILL write him my question, and hopefully in the next week or two I will have an answer.
Whatever the answer may be, it doesnt change the fact that I have a Rav, and he has NOT once sent me home from shul for my hat and jacket, OR told me go home and daven with your hat and jacket instead of here in shul without it.
Hopefully, this shayla will not be nogeia next year.
Helpful: I do not have to believe that someone is quoting R’ Chaim correctly, not do I have to accept that someone quoted someone quoting R’ Chaim correctly. Someone already wrote this, but quite frankly the quote attributed to R’ Chaim, on face value, is knegged haseichel and makes no sense.
People say a lot of things in the name of the Chazon Ish and Steipler Z’l, and it doesnt make it true. I know someone who wrote a letter to R’ Chaim Kanievsky Shlita, asking about a specific inyan which was said over in the name of his father and asking for guidance and clarification for his particular situation. R’ Chaims response, “Lo Hadam”. I saw the original question, and response. If you have a shayla, ask a Rav, dont rely on what “they say”. As Rav moshe Tuvia Lieff shlita is wont to say tongue in cheek, “R’ Yennem, is the best hashgacha,…. yennem koift, yennem ess”. Not everything you read or hear is true. If you want to call it “casting aspersion”, so be it.
WIY: If it is SOOOOO important that some claim R’ Chaim Kanievsky says it is better to daven beyichidus that to daven without a hat and jacket, then why is ANY incentive to get people to do so, so silly? (Yes, I know you didnt say it is silly, but I cant come up with any other reason why you feel he should be embarrassed at the suggestion).
“reb chaim kanievsky can say that its completely ossur.
we little people are not allowed to denounce all the rabbonim who said electric shavers are mutar.”
Because R’ Chaim is not from among us “little people” he doesn’t denounce all those who disagree with him either. That’s what his little people have taken on by themselves.
You can also be yotze all shittos in hilchos lashon hara by not making any negative comments about those who do shave.
Has anyone ever seen “girls congregating in the street” on shabbos? For 3 hours? Wanton, Goyishe acting girls, congregating at the “parashas derachim”? Lets not get carried away with hyperbole.
“we little people are not allowed to denounce all the rabbonim who said electric shavers are mutar.”
OR all those who use them.
“The concept of one considering to enter a makom kedusha without a hat and jacket, is a difficult one to contemplate.”
“Really a Yid should wear a hat and jacket anywhere he goes.”
If you wear your hat and jacket everywhere you go, then it goes without saying you should wear it into a makon kadosh. the question is, how is your hat and jacket anything special for davening or do you have a special davening jacket? do you put on a tie? Do you wear your hat with brim up in the street and down by davening?
“R’ Chaim Kanievsky has letters printed in a few seforim where he says that it’s better to daven b’yechidus with a hat & jacket than in a minyan without it.”
I’m not mikabel.
How did this go from teenage girls hanging out together shabbos afternoons in the street, to calling frum women Wanton? A Wanton is not something you order in a Chinese Restaurant. If you pull out your thesaurus, synonyms for the word Wanton include lustful and lewd. Have we lost our collective minds hapazardly tossing around such a term about frum women?
“Wanton women”, “sitting at parashas derachim”. This is hyperbole taken to the extreme. This is sickening.
“The other option is forcing YOU to listen to everything they want to talk about.”
Actually, the other option is making you sit outside and watch the kids.
“The Rabbi is sometimes powerless to stop these wanton women.”
I have a hard time believing that a group of women will simply ignore something the Rav of the community says, unless of course they have the tacit approval of their husbands, in which case, I would advise the Rav to look for another kehilla.