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“This is the wrong shilah.
The shilah should be, is it mutar to work for an organization that violates explicit Torah commandments?
The Torah explicitly requires that employees be paid on time. How can a yeshiva that violates this commandment be considered Orthodox?”
Charlie. Would you prefer the Rabbeim be laid off? The yeshiva shut down? What do you recommend the administrators do if there is no money to meet payroll?
“i don’t understand this new style of dress why is this kosher??”
Why is it “unkosher”?
“we look like basketball players with a shell under!”
And people who only wear black and white look like penguins, waiters and undertakers. Not everyone has the same sense of style.
“it really brought down the level of tznios”
How?
“and everyone is wearing it??”
Now that I know what UGGS are (more like UGHS), I say the same thing about people who wear UGGS, I dont call them dressing untznius tough.
“i don’t get it???”
Me neither.
In this (hypothetical?) Yeshiva where the Rabbeim are on strike to collect their salaries; are the other employees of the yeshiva being paid at this time?
If you think something is untznius speak to your local rebbetzin to make sure it really is and then if you have the guts, tell those dressed this way that it is untznius.
“BTW, how do people modify those things?”
Its not so pashut.
While inspired, I’m still trying to find my shadow.
I think Rav Moshe has a Teshuva on this very topic. I remember seeing it in the Yad Moshe index. I have no idea what he may have replied though. No access to the Igros Moshe at this time.
Regarding Hairdressers.
Masseches Kiddushin.
?? ??,? ???? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ?? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??????? ….. ???????
Can anyone elaborate on the answer “they” gave to Kimchis? The gemara does not record who asked Kimchis (does Rashi explain who “they” were – I don’t remember)? She gave her amous response that has been cited a number of times. The gemara records that they responded to her. What exactly were they telling her?
No demographics crisis. Just a lack of clarity on what type of chairs are being sought. Perhaps more of an identity crisis.
I think a more accurate description is The Dating Game or perhaps Charades, not musical cairs.
Regarding excercise and dressing “tsniusdik”. Let’s go back one step. Isn’t excercise (or much of what passes for excercise anyway) inherently untznius? I mean, aren’t body parts that are normally at rest moving all over. Limbs stretched and twisted this way and that. Does it really matter WHAT you are wearing or HOW you are dressed while engaged in this activity? Perhaps the question should be restated. May a woman excercise in front of a man, no matter how tsniusdik she is dressed? Does it matter if this man is a jew or non jew?H
Cought? 🙂
Witch singers? Are these the folks who provide the musical entertainment while the witch doctor does his thing?
“Ok so I agree with you that you can wear shorts and a tee shirt to exercise, but what about something thats more revealing than that?”
I have no desire to “reveal” more than shorts and a t-shirt already reveal. The Ribbono Shel Olam doesnt need to “see” it and quite frankly already knows whats there.
“I am wondering if the same applies to dressing tzniusdikly”
What happened to Siman Beis in shulchan aruch?
Inspiring. R’ Abish Brodt. Gal Eina and ani yishaina vlibi ur.
“my request to the singers are is please bring back to old style music”
I’d like to add to this request. If you are selling a singing talent (mbd, fried, shweky etc) make the singing the ikkar and the music the tafel. Too much of what is sold today features way to much loud music and not enough singing; be it the long, loud and at times obnoxious introductions and too many and too long musical interludes mid-song that simply detract from the singing talent.
My elder sis is not so pashut.
Looks like I have some reconnecting to do with a long lost twin. 🙂
Your elder sis.
I remember taking a farher when applying to mesivta for the 9th grade, that after the farher with the menahel which, I think went rather well, my father and I were told, “I’m sorry, we have no more beds in the dormitory”. It was their way of saying we dont want your kind around here. After asking around (it helped that I had 3 first cousins in the mesivta and 3 uncles in the parent body) we found out that they felt we were not their type because my father was wearing a straw hat.
whats to elaborate? the shulchan aruch is clear that one may walk unclothed in a bathouse because it is the derech to dress that way in that place. some seemed to be applying that logic to excercise. all I was saying is that just because it is the derech to do something, doesnt mean it is proper (maybe it is the wrong derech).
I dont zumba or do yoga. I’m not female and have no idea how they dress at the gym or what the accepted “derech”, mode of dress is at a womens gym whether with frum women only or any other women. I suppose if my wife asked me if something was appropriate or not, I would think about it then.
Personally, I wear shorts and a t-shirt when I excercise, whether on the treadmill, playing raquetball or basketball. I dont think there is anything inherently untznius in my dressing that way, I just dont dress that way to do shopping or go to work. I am guessing that other people who excercise, male or female, dont think so either.
Did you call Rav Feiner (White Shul) or any other local Rav for guidance?
It may be the derech to dress a certain way while doing the Zumba (I have no clue what Zumba is or how one dresses when Zumba-ing) or yoga, but perhaps that is not the appropriate derech?
When I read the “data” on the still single graduates it seemed that all the smaller schools had higher percentages of singles while the larger schools had smaller percentages. I wonder if people are simpmy stereotyping girls because of the schools they attended the way somepone not in BMG “must not be a good bachur”.
I’m not sure the average person who listens to the music R’ Amnon Yitzchak is unhappy with, knows who R’ Amnon is.
EDITED
Why do you assume that “getting more chairs into the game” has anything to do having more boys or the like?
Perhaps those responsible for setting up the chairs should stop limiting their furniture suppliers to companies such as BMG, Brisk and other similar suppliers. Many smaller niche suppliers exist, but have a difficult time getting their products into the general market.
Just last week a fine bachur who gives my name as a reference was turned down by the prospective shidduch because “if he was really such a good bachur he would be in BMG”. This is not to say this is the fault of shadchanim, but whoever and whatever created this lust for making sure you live up to the next perons expectations. If shadchanim would promote these boys/girls and parents would not have the attitude expressed above, perhaps we would have less older singles.
Before he is able to change anything people must know who he is.
Is it possible we are not setting up enough chairs for all the players? Are eliminating a group of chairs because the upholstry is not black enough? They did not come out of the cookie cutter factories?
Worse than asking questions and making people crazy is the demand to remain anonymous. I cant tell you who I am, but I want to ask you questions about “so and so”. I politely tell people i dont talk about other people, even if it is for their own good, unless I know who i am giving the info over to. If you cant agree to that, then I’m sorry, you will have to call someone else.
I wonder if the demands made by some of the chairs and perpetuated by the DJs who spin the music are causing some players to delay entrance into the game and others to opt out altogether. Perhaps they have taken up other games, such as charades and Life.
“So do you think she/he’s for me”.
The best answer, I think, is, why don’t you go out and find out if YOU think he/she’s for you.
Unfortunately, too many things go wrong in this game.
Some don’t know how to play the music, others play the wrong music. Some don’t know how to go around the chairs while others don’t understand what to do when the music stops. Some players crash the party while some can’t afford the ticket to play, while still others buy up 6 slots for themselves. Then there are the chairs. Some simply can’t hold up any of the players, while others can’t commit to allowing a player the courtesy of a seat even temporarily until the music starts up again.
To the casual viewer it looks like like a bunch of chairs going to waste while harried players go round and round looking for a seat waiting for the music to hopefully stop so they can finally grab a seat.
I’m exhaused.
1: Regarding Rav Falks sefer. My wife doesnt use it, so I dont have it in the house. She prefers the sefer Halichos Bas Yisroel.
2: The Minhagim surrounding when a Kallah covers her hair are many, including those whose minhag it is for a kallah to cover her hair prior to the chuppah. Perhaps this is A reason but not THE reason.
Regarding boys wearing shorts. Is there anyone who is offended by it? Is there anyone who holds it is an absolute issur? Is it age dependent? If yes, what is that age?
A shadchan called my inlaws and asked the usual support questions. my inlaws replied “our kids are not for sale” and hung up the phone.
LAGuy has the best segula yet.
I’m aware of those hetterim, I didn’t want to discuss hair coverings and didn’t want to mention those women, who despite their loss of “innonence” are allowed to go out with their hair uncovered. I still don’t want to discuss the topic 🙂
The discussion has (surprise!) strayed from negligent parents. Bottom line, if you see a negligent parent call them out on it. Don’t let them get away with it. Scare the living daylights out of them.
I don’t believe the covering of hair is associated with the “loss of innonence”, but will drop the subject and get back to boys wearing shorts.
Someone mentioned the concept of “sensitivities”. Is it not a bit arrogant to say you don’t wear shorts not to offend my sensitivities, and not consider those who would otherwise be very uncomfortable due to your sensitivities?
Put another way. Must my 10 year old son shvitz in long pants because of your sensitivities? Perhaps you are obligated to put your sensitivites aside for my sons comfort? Just a thought.
I don’t know about her dress size, but her IQ was likely smaller than her shoe size.
“Perhaps there is an issue of covering the hair to symbolize the fact that she is married”
(This is far removed from boys wearing shorts, but I guess is par for the course for the coffee room!). Divorced and widowed women also must cover their hair is it to symbolize that they are married?
“The spiritual welfare of a Jew always takes precedence over his physical well-being. This is an uncompromising point.”
You cant grow spiritually if your dead. I dont know about everywhere else, but in NYC they try to place frum children with a frum social services agency to be placed with a frum family. If there are no frum volunteers…..
“In this day and time, most Rabbonim do not get “involved”.”
You must not know the right Rabbonim.
I once replied to the question “what does the father do for a living” with “he manages real estate”. I figured it sounded a lot less spooky than “he manages a cemetery”.
A pet peeve of mine when it comes to shidduch “questions” is asking about things people did TWENTY years ago. One time someone asked me about the camp an almost 40 year old attended, and I replied, i think you misunderstood a maamar chazal. They said you can tell a person by three things, “Kiso, Kaaso and Kooso”, by harping on the camp this person may have attended 20+ years ago, I suspect you have a girsa “UbiKamp”. The conversation went downhill from there.
“What is the difference if you have to find a dressmaker or you become your own dressmaker?”
Personally, I have no intentions of ever becoming a dressmaker 🙂
I hate to answer for the Mrs. but here goes. Even stitches.
Someone once asked me about a neighborhood fellow is who at least 40 years old, what high school he went to and where he went to camp. I replied I dont know, but if you dont mind my asking why is it relevant what he did 20+ years ago, I would hope at 40+ he is not the same person he was when he was 17.
I was once asked the “animal question” by a shadchan. I replied, a lion. I would bite your head off for asking such a stupid question. Needless to say, that meeting was over and I never received a call from that shadchan.
I’m not sure this can be classified as funny, but certainly as weird. Afriend from yeshiva had gone out with a girl 3-4 times and things were progressing nicely when we (my roomate and I in yeshiva who were freindly with him) received a call from the father of this girls. “Do you know him well?”. Yes. “We heard he walks with a limp, is this true?” Hasn’t your daughter gone out with him 4 times already? During the course of 4 visits to your home, have you seen a limp? Has your daughter? “No”. Then why are you asking us something already verified by your own eyes, as well as those of your wife and daughter, 4 times. “Well, people are saying…..” Well, we don’t know what to tell you other than, the next time he is at your house, observe closely.
On the next date, he challenged the father and all her brothers to a race around the block. After they were engaged, he beat all her brothers in that race.
Mrs. Pushatayid (who really is not all that pashut) asked me to make the following comment.
“By design, all skirts are strapless and backless.”
Back to me.
I don’t like to comment on what women wear or how they dress unless the comment is directed to my wife or daughter. I will only add anecdotedly that the Mrs.was looking for something to wear to the wedding of a close relative. She tried the shops in BP, Flatbush and the 5 Towns. She didn’t end up buying anything at any of these stores, (something to do with choosing between black, jet black and midnight black). She ended up buying a strapless gown (dress?) in Macys and took it to a dressmaker and had shoulder straps added (along with other alterations), she then found a nice top to go with it and she was all set. The dress, top and alterations were all within the price range she had set from the beginning. I guess all I am trying to say is, where there is a will, there is a way.
I wouldn’t call CPS without permission from a Rav, but the more I think about it, I’m not so sure a shayla is warranted. Do you have to ask a shayla to call 911 if you saw your neighbor about to physically harm someone? Leaving a small child unattended in the street is putting them in harms way.