Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
“Where i live most people just live out of habit wake up daven go to work do the daf daven and go to sleep.”
This ranks as one of the most ignorant things ever written on YWN.
“how many balabatim are bney aliyah {and the few that are, its great}
This surely ranks as one of the most hateful things ever written on YWN.
What is the alternative?
How to improve based on orchos tzadikim and mesilas yesharim? Understand what they say, take what they say seriously and undertake to try and improve. Pick one middah and try and work on it, say for 2 hours a day, and build from there.
When I was a bachur in yeshiva, coming on time to davening was not an area where I excelled. On the advice of the R’Y, I chose one day a week that I would always be in the beis medrash by 7:40 (start time was 7:45). I chose wednesday (after much thought out and reasoned analysis). It wasn’t easy, especially during bein hazmanim, but I made it an entire year without being late (I had my shirt tucked in most days!). I added a second day and so on. It works this way with everything. Get angry? Decide that from 10-12 tuesdays, you won’t get angry. It isn’t easy, but
It grows on you and gets easier with time.
The OP seems to have 2 separate gripes.
1: Mosdos are starving for money, and apparantly people are jetting off to some castle somewhere for Pesach, spending thousands of dollars in the process.
2: (I’m not sure how he/she comes to this conclusion) The photo of a king size bed is in indication that tznius standards in advertising have dropped. (Not sure if this king size bed appeared in an ad for a hotel or a furniture store.
These are directed toward the OP. bbubbee, could you please explain what you would like to see happen instead of those who jet off to some hotel for Pesach? Could you explain the king size bed and the conclusion you reached regarding tznius?
Mesilas Yesharim and Orchos Tzadikim are 2 classic “books” that can help you improve and refine your middos.
“The learning itself is constructive (huge understatement) even if it does not lead to kiruv, rabbanus, teaching, etc. It’s called Torah Lishma.”
The learning is only constructive if it has a positive affect and refines the one who learns it. Many leaders of the haskalah were learned men.(No, I’m not C’V equating the 2 – I’m using an extreme example to make a point).
What drives that thinking? Something you experienced? Witnessed?
Wow, did I miss the thread about spending too much on mishloach manos that some are already griping about pesach in a hotel?
I’m confused. Who doesn’t respect yeshiva bachurim “enough”? How much IS enough? For that matter how do you propose this respect should be displayed?
I’m trying to picture well known R”Y on line in a bodega or at 7-11 and asking for an instant scratch off game.
Maybe Andrew Lloyd Weber wrote the music for MBDs Lichtiger Shabbos.
Sac and Ofcourse. How much checking do you expect a 22 year old guy, 500 miles from home, frustrated due to a canceled flight (and a shidduch that didnt work out after a number of dates with a different girl – is why I was in that city to begin with), who is being told of a “wonderful girl” from a “wonderful family” by a woman he met once before in his life (the previous day) but his hostess says she knows, all in the 4 hours before the date would have happened? Who do you expect I would have asked for information about this family? My hostess told me she barely knows the family who lives on the other side of town and the mother in law of a friend from yeshiva “didnt know the girl, but the parents are wonderful people”. Armed with all that info, and a quick call to my Rosh Yeshiva who said “do you have anything better to do tonight?” I agreed to go out. Do you think I should have asked “what grade is she in”? Would anyone in shidduchim? Do you feel that people in shidduchim have a right to assume certain things about people, say for example, they are out of high school?
Like I wrote earlier, it was a bad date, my worst ever. Take it however you want. 19 years later, I think it is humorous in a weird way, 19 years ago, I felt used.
Yochi. Nobody was messed up. Certainly not for life. Lets not be so dramatic. I was simply sharing my worst date experience as is the topic of this thread.
Was just one big waste of an evening.
RB. I definitely agree with what I wrote.
RB. You will have to speak to them about it.
Ofcourse. I guess that is a risk they were willing to take.
Sac. There was ZERO intention for a second date from the outset on their part. She acted “like that” because she was 17, probably never spoke to a male not named tatty or zeidy prior to meeting me, probably didnt agree with her parents shenanigans and was probably worrying about a test she had the next day (did I forget to mention that I was led to believe she had finished high school, but in fact was in 12th grade?).
Lichtiger Shabbos on MBDs Just One Shabbos Album is, (in my opinion and anyone who has heard both songs agrees with me) the tune from the song Close Every Door from Andrew Lloyd Webers, Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Dont be surprised if the tune in question is from a TV show.
They do. in between meals.
Since we are asking why. May ask I ask again, why were you quoting me my own words? Are you trying to elicit a response from me for something?
Perhaps I should spell it out. I was lied to. The very least the girl could have done was make believe she wanted to be on the date.
If they air the game at the bar mitzvah I will be at, yes. 🙂
Was stranded in a city due to flight cancelation. It was suggested, that hey, since your here anyway, you might want to see a certain girl, really special blah, blah blah. I WAS stuck and had no plans so I figured, why not. The girl spoke in one word sentences, was agreeable to do anything, which meant she really didnt want to do anything (I showed her a skydiving brochure I picked up in a lobby and asked her if she wanted to try this activity and she mumbled something like “maybe” but not 100% certain). Is everything OK? Sure. Are you feeling well? Yeah. Want to go home? If you want to. Drink? Maybe. Cat got your tongue? Huh? Know of any nice place to visit, after all, this is your hometown, not mine. No. After what seemed like 9 hours, but was no more than 25 minutes I had enough and asked her for directions home. Even that, I couldnt get out of her. I pulled up next to a cop and got directions back to her house.
I told the one who set it up that I had a horrible experience and unless the alternative was was drinking molten lava, I would prefer to never see her again.
The upshot of this story, (as told to me by my hostess a few weeks later – it made no sense to her how the girl acted and he wanted to get to the bottom of it), the girls parents decided it was time for their daughter to start dating, they asked around for a sacrificial lamb or 2 for their daughter to practice on and it seems that after me, there was another bachur from another city who also went through the same torture the next night. This shadchan helped along with this charade. I threatened the shadchan I would take her to a din torah (and if you are reading this and recognize yourself, please note it took MONTHS, but I was finally mochel you when I said tefillas zakah that year) and asked that she reimburse me for all costs associated with the date which was basicly renting a car and the gas.
I figured that out. The question is, why.
RB. If you dont mind. Are you asking something? Explaining something? Disagreeing with something?
Its really, Beheimish.
mytake. if the CR contained the dynamics of the old chat rooms, the CR would be WAAAYY different.
RB. If he had a plan that included texting and he didnt mind, I would. I wouldnt send him a text about some narishkeit (I wouldnt call him about that either).
There is a Rav in my neighborhood who encourages people to text him, he says it is easier for him.
Full time normally means 40 hours a week (sometimes it is 36 – sometimes more, sometimes less) regardless of how many days those hours are accrued. Nurses for example typically work 3, 12 hour shifts a week.
Middos are not hereditary. Nobody is geneticly programmed to be a boor.
What if a girl has two brothers. One a walking mesilas yesharim, the other with the middos of a skunk, which brother he children be most like?
Whoever it is proper to talk to.
THE game is next sunday. Real men don’t watch the pro bowl 🙂
80. Which game? 🙂
I heard it has 8 daf. According to beis shammai you have to start on tes and work your way back to beis. Beis hillel allows you to start from beis.
Yitzchak didn’t mind the odds.
We could begin by inviting our friends Glen, Jack, Johnny and Jim.
Either way, you shouldn’t judge the girls brother. You shouldn’t judge the girl either. In fact you shouldn’t judge anyone unless it is likaf zchus.
PBA. So its a 50/50 proposition at best. Yackov had the same “mothers brother” and he did ok for himself.
If you read the summary of the lawsuit, it is a LOT more than simply making an employee work on saturday.
Lo hadam. The rest was the result of fat finger syndrome and not holding shift key for ().
Regarding everything you hear someone say in the name of a gadol.
I know someone who sent the following shayla to R’ Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (I saw the shayla written and put into the envelope). I heard bsheim your father z’l that there is an inyan to make a kiddush for a girl, true? The response lo hadam ati saw it – unless there is an elaborate hoax going on somewhere regarding answering shaaylos sent to R’ Chaim). If something sounds fishy, your not an apikores for questioning it.
I remember a few dates that were so bad, the first thing I did was pour a drink of pepto bismol.
Jl. I think yiu missed the point. Yehudah, dan, binyamin, all “biblical” names came from the inspiration of the parentsan EG, hapam odeh es hashem. Why is eliana worse? Would you prefer one used a biblical name such as mupim, chupim, eri? Wait, those also were made up names based on a meaning special to the parent.
(Pardon the play on words) Ikkar chaser min hasefer.
Is this a psak halacha, IE it is ASSUR to name your daughter Shira
(or the other names listed in sefer), or is he saying there is an inyan (that he may understand that we do not) not to name your daughter or to specifically name certain names?
If for example, someone davens to hashem for a child and after many years their tefilla is answered, and they want to name their daughter Eliana (contraction for Keli Ana – my hashem has answered me) is he saying ASSUR? If someone wants to name their child after something that inspired them, is that ASSUR? Most names found in tanach were given in exactly that way. My gut feeling tells me that it is not ASSUR to give the name Shira and the like, rather there is some inyan not to do so. There may be an overriding inyan to name your daughter Shira. Ask your Rav.
You cant make rules that eliminate certain groups of people from qualifying for the job unless it is VITAL to the performance of the job. Manning the cash register on sunday instead of a saturday is not an inconvenience for a major chain store. For a mom and pop shop with 2 employees it would be different. Reasonable accomodation is the key phrase here. Dont think small 13th ave boutique, think national chain store.
Coffee.
Go to Hershey. Kosher food in Harrisburg 10 minutes away. Not sure how much yoou want to spend though. If you want to spend as much as you would at Herrs, Hershey is not for you, the indoor activities cost a bit more. This time of year you can get rooms for $50-$60.
About 25 minutes from the Herrs factory is Lancaster. Must be SOMETHING for you to do there. I dont mean to stereotype, but great outlet malls there if thats your thing. Shopping not your thing, ask your Rav if the Mennonite temple is something you can visit (Ive been meaning to ask mine for a long time but it has never come up as a practical question).
If you have an iphone. Great apps from “the rusty brick”. Not sure the exact name, but their siddur only displays the things you need on that day. on rosh chodesh yaleh viyavo, hallel etc…will be there, but not the next day. chanuka or chol hamoed, the appropriate kriah.
I am a man. I have not read anything remotely suggesting “provocative” in this thread.
edited
Chol Hamoed Succos at the Bronx Zoo, I witnessed a frum teenaged girl teach the non jewish girl at the camel ride a thing or 2 about tznius. The girl wouldnt ride on the camel without a blanket she brought along because her skirt would ride up. The non jewish employee was so intrigued that after the “ride” (its like 60-90 seconds) she asked her a few questions about tznius. (just figured i’d throw in the story, since more often than not on this site there is a negative slant to most tznius topics brought up).