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bortezomib
You shouldn’t feel awful. In fact, you took the high road and should be quite proud of it! Thank you for putting up such a great important topic to ponder to the cr!
moderator 80, I’d love to know what you were thinking when you chose that subtitle…
adorable, You make finding a job sound like it’s easy to find, but from your experience I’m sure you know better. And I am also sure that a young lady is way more marketable than a man who has been out of work for many years and has surely lost his work ethic.
And getting a job would be like putting a band aid on a boo boo, when he has bigger underlying issues to deal with…
Legen-dary, it’s totally normal and accepted that the girl takes longer to make the decision than the boy. That’s usually the way it is. And if he is the right boy, than I’m sure he won’t mind waiting around till you’re ready.
There isn’t a halachic issue to keep it on, but for all I know there is a chumrah to shut it off.
Just for the record, the digital frame lasts longer when you keep it straight on, than when you constantly fiddle around with it…
Mod 95, now you have a new method for annoying posters 😉
95- Still very impressed with your upside down attempt. Hopefully someone will enlighten us!
Ofcourse, I sure hope not!
I should’ve suspected that this deed was done by MOD. It had MOD written all over it!
MOD 26, I never knew you had such an “interesting” sense of humor!
No, I’m 95. I thought the 2 upside down looked a bit like a 5. I don’t know how to do upside down.
It doesn’t really matter. At this point Aron doesn’t stand much of a chance, anyways…
Cool! How did you do that?
bpt, not entirely sure whether you are agreeing or disagreeing with me, but we seem to be somewhat on the same page. What I meant was that the staying at home itself isn’t as worrisome to me as some of the other things he is doing, like:
“He shirks the responsibity Hashem charged him with
He does not appreciate his wife’s role
He disregards what his daas torah told him to do”.
I feel that people shouldn’t overly focus on the “staying home unemployed” problem when there are bigger fish to fry.
kapusta, I agree. I think some people forget that though this cr is (sorta) private, it is still not the place for inappropriate (or even sometimes repulsive) comments. It’s nice that someone shares my feelings.
minyan gal, lol. Though I have noticed that some subtitles have VERY low expectations to live up to. Some really crack me up! Sorta makes me wonder if subtitle-changing is the MODs favorite job…
Sender Av, if the kids were doing it bfarhesia in public, the odds are that the parents are well aware of the situation already.
Usually first time at least, the boy goes to the girl. In some cases afterwards they alternate, or the girl goes to the boy for most of the rest of the dates.
Adorable and bpt, we live in modern times where stay-at-home dads are definitely more common. It’s not the stayng home in itself that worries me. As long as he is helping out and doing his part, there should be no problem. This husband’s issues go beyond that.
That is very sad if what the rav said is true. It doesn’t say a lot for mankind if we would all get divorced “cuz he told us to.”
But you can’t judge when you don’t know the situation and all the nuances. What you see is someone advising a divorce and the couple getting divorced. What you don’t see is all the pain that led up to it.
What I think is, someone supporting the divorce motivates the couple to get the divorce, but they clearly wanted to in the first place, because if they didn’t, they would still be married.
Its not hiding. Everyone needs space. Trust me I’m the biggest advocate for telling the spouse everything and having an open and honest relationship. But this is a different situation. You don’t need to share all the mishagasim, nor do you need to share the loshon hora of the work place. You don’t have to agree with me, but do you at least understand the difference?
The last Rebel, pardon me, but what does that mean?
You are quite wrong. I possess no guilty conscience in that matter. And it might be sad that I know of some cases, but it shouldn’t come as surprise considering how prevalent divorces are. Most rabbonim dealing with inyunei gitten are more aware of the cases than you and I are, and I doubt they will tell you that that is the ultimate reason for divorce.
The advantage to mediation is that you settle the issues in advance, so that when you go to the courts, there is nothing left to negotiate, so you can get the get and legal divorce “without a hitch.” I don’t know if it benefits everyone.
Hatzlacha rabah!
Sister Bear, agreed. You phrased my opinion so eloquently!
Mazal tov! I’m sure she would be more surprised if you did the party earlier as opposed to later, and she would probably be more up to it then (though it depends alot on how her pregnancy is going). That’s what I would do but you might have to play it by ear… Good luck with the preparations!
“like I said we dont know whats going on(all though we never really do)”
Sounds an awful lot like my family! 😉
That’s interesting; I have never heard of a fruit flavored cappuchino!
Do you know any specific cases, because I know quite a few where that is not the case. Like I said, it is POSSIBLE, but not as often as people would like to believe. People who are more familiar with divorces will genereally tell you what I said.
If the guy decides to be creative and take the girl to a place that is NOT a lobby (gasp), they will certainly have much more to talk about!
Yeah, but even a wife doesn’t have to be involved in all the trivialities of life or a business email which may contain loshon hara.
I think every person is entitled to a little privacy. It doesn’t mean that the person is necessarily hiding anything, but you don’t have to share everything with everyone.
Let us know what works for you in the end 🙂 Maybe I’ll pick up one myself…
Bombmaniac, I read it in the Ami. It was even nicer the second time around. i am sure it wasn’t easy writing up all the pain, and sharing it with the public. You were really excellent at capturing the illness and some of your struggles. Thank you for increasing the awareness! I’m sure I am 1 of many that was inspired!!!
I’m not saying there aren’t cases, but it’s a far call from the primary cause for divorce. Even if someone mixed in, it usually only succeeds in quickening the process.
I don’t understand, the person should buy special tisha b’av/ yom kippur shoes, and make sure that they are not comfortable to boot? Why be machmir than halacha? Bh we live in a modern day and age where harmless comfort is more accesible. I don’t think it’s a mitzvah to deprive ourselves.
Peacemaker, people don’t just divorce because of outside pressure. If the couple decides to follow the advice and divorce, it means that they already wanted to and probably needed to. The “support” just makes it easier.
Menachem Melamed, You have mentioned two factors contributing to divorces but neither of them the direct cause. I’ve never heard someone say that they divorced because the partner was selfish. In addition, I’ve never heard of a couple that got divorced based on the word of one advisor. If the couple was truly interested in saving their marriage, they would try many methods of making it work and contact more than one misguiding person…
mommamia22
At least temporarily would you be able to go to your parents or a close friend, if you had to?
“you better”
It’s really not as easy as it looks! You wouldn’t believe how many times I have bitten my tongue so as not to hurt someone’s feelings- or worse yet have my comment edited or deleted (double gasp).
zahavasdad, if the child is really nervous, then by ignoring their question, you are giving validation to their fears!
mod 80, I appreciate your honesty! I’ll behave from now on 😉
Happiest, you make so much sense. One cannot truly understand your situation or pain until they are in your shoes. Remember that your friends care about you and love you, but most of them haven’t faced challenges similar to yours so they do not know how to comfort you. But we all care about and wish you the best!!!
Hatzlacha rabah! Keep being that special person that we admire!
“usually having something to do with bears and a tree”.
Gasp! So maybe that explains some of the missing posters…
Mod 80, well said!
Who are we to interpret the actions of G-d?
I know a couple that got married and divorced 3 times. I guess they really wanted to do this mitzvah more than once…
popa bar abba, you seem to be troubled by such deep and complex questions far beyond my capabilities to explain! I hope you find the answers so that perhaps you can sleep at night!
apushatayid, lol nice dream! But seriously just to add upon what you said, the system also doesn’t make sense because when the girls stay on the boy’s waiting list for a virtually infinite amount of time, the girl can get engaged in the meantime, or change what she’s looking for.
Maybe rather than changing the whole system around (and giving the opposite gender a taste of their own medicine), maybe the boys should limit the amount of resumes to be considered to 3-4 as opposed to 50.
It is true. Jewelers even advise women to be careful when purchasing tight rings in the winter since their fingers will exoand in the summer.
mikehall, yeah imagine all the money we could have saved if we used pizza instead of a shmorg, 5 courses, and a viennese table to boot!
apushatayid, you are right of course. I should add that to my above list of stupid phrases to comfort someone in this kind of situation.
Rabbi Avigdor book was recently published on tefillah, which seems to be popular.
No reason that you can’t pursue both options at the same time. You will probably end up needing help from both services anyways.