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Does anyone here have a contact name and number to apply for Camp Bonim registration?
Someone I know, who lives outside of the NY/NJ metropolitan area, wants to register her 13-year-old son for this coming summer.
Thank you.
His book has Haskomos from such Rabbonim as Rav Pam, ZT”L,
Rav Scheinberg, ZT”L, and Rav Feinstein, ZT”L.
They all call him “HaRav HaGaon” in their Haskomos.
Google – coconut oil gallstones
I myself do not know about the Halochos of whether or not to hate a specific Jew, based on what he or she did.
The issue that concerns me here is not hating DF,
but what she is doing to defame Judaism and the Jewish lifestyle.
For example, Google DF’s name and Rachel Weisz, together;
and see what DF writes about RW getting married.
I feel compassion for ANYONE who is C”V in a dysfunctional or abusive situation, even if that person is in such pain that he or she goes OTD; as long as the person deals with his or her SPECIFIC situation and does NOT defame the ENTIRE Jewish community.
If someone is molested, C”V; then the MOLESTER and those who protect him or her are evil people; NOT all Jews.
However, part of the Goodreads description of DF, that was quoted in a post, above, says:
“Her memoir, ‘Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots,’ is being published by Simon and Schuster on February 14, 2012. She is currently working on the first novel in a series about crime in the Hasidic community, that is based on real-life characters and events, and is due out from Soho Press in Autumn 2012.”
It’s bad enough that DF wrote “Unorthodox,” which defames the Hasidic community and portrays its married women as “dirty” for part of the month. (I read the Kindle edition of the book.)
It’s bad enough that she went on “The View” and further defamed the Hasidic community and the Mitzvah of Taharas HaMishpacha and portrayed Hasidic women as oppressed, ignorant, uneducated, and unaccomplished. (I watched the clip on YouTube.)
After that, she’s writing ANOTHER book? About CRIME in the Hasidic community? Not just another book, but the first in a SERIES?
In DF’s mind, are there no DECENT Hasidic people, who have done good for others? Are ALL of the Hasidim evil?
DF didn’t only go OTD; she has gone WAY too far.
(I used CAPS to emphasize certain words, because I don’t know how to underline, in a post.)
Of course, we hate the Frum Fakers. There is no question about that.
However, I believe the issue here, in this thread, is that not only did DF go OTD; but she wants to persuade others to do so, too, and she maligns the Jewish and specifically Chassidic lifestyles.
To quote someone who commented on the Algemeiner article “‘Unorthodox’ belongs in the Fiction Section:”
“So she gets to wear sequined minis and has a more varied menu than those in the Orthodox community do; she enjoys fantasizing about a salacious, blissful love life and has lots of publicity in her life right now, with everyone famous calling to interview her, due to her using her overabundant energy to blacken her very own ancestors and very own blood relatives and making them all out to be foolish robotic dodos. . .
All she wants to do is defame the religious practices of her forefathers, instead of just living a normal, accomplished, less religious, or even totally irreligious life, privately without negativity and finger-pointing. . .
She’s just a babbling buffoon; a seething, hateful person, whose uppermost goal is fun. And that IS her choice.
She is an example of what not to become, what not to aspire to be; capitalizing on hate, mockery, meanness, and exaggeration.”
I am NOT saying that either a man OR a woman should violate Jewish law.
But in this case, the effect – the end result – of breaking Jewish law is different for a man than it is for a woman.
OF COURSE, if a man wants to divorce his 1st wife, and she won’t accept a Get, and if he doesn’t get a Kosher Heter Meah Rabbanim, then he’s not allowed to remarry.
But if C”V he ignores Cherem D’Rabbenu Gershom, and he remarries anyway,
Hashem does NOT punish him as an Adulterer, and his 2nd marriage is still Kosher, and his children from the 2nd marriage are still Kosher.
If C”V a married woman is intimate with a 2nd man, Hashem punishes the 2nd man for being intimate with a married woman, and He punishes the married woman as an Adulterer. If the woman C”V has children from the 2nd man, Jewish law considers them to be Mamzerim.
The issue is NOT regarding who is more acceptable by society, in their violations.
The issue is regarding who is transgressing Torah law and who will be punished for doing so by Hashem.
PBA: What does eating Treif have to do with whether or not a child is C”V a Mamzer?
A woman who C”V is an Agunah CANNOT move on with her life. If C”V the woman wants a Get, and the husband refuses to give a Get, she is Chained and considered Married, until he gives a Get (no matter how long it takes, even if C”V for YEARS), or until he dies.
If she has no children, she cannot remarry and have children with a 2nd husband, until she is freed from the 1st husband.
No one is JUSTIFYING that a man should deliberately remarry, until he divorces his 1st wife. But if he does remarry and has children with a 2nd wife, and he has not divorced the 1st wife,
he and the children by the 2nd wife do NOT have the same Halachic problems, as a WOMAN who would do the same thing with a 2nd husband, without C”V being divorced from the 1st husband.
In the woman’s case, C”V the children by the 2nd husband are considered Mamzerim by Halacha, and the woman is still considered married to the 1st husband, so C”V she is considered an Adulterer.
So exactly what is ridiculous?
I read the book description:
“The book seeks to offer. . . the real story of Jesis, a wholly-observant, Pharisaic Rabbi who fought Roman paganism and oppression and was killed for it.”
A wholly-observant, Pharisaic Rabbi?
Whom does Boteach think he’s kidding, especially by calling the person “Kosher,” when Torah-observant Jews know the true story ?
The bottom line is that if C”V a married woman remarries, without receiving a Get from the 1st husband, who C”V refuses to give her one;
she’s still an Aishes Ish to the 1st husband, and her children with the 2nd husband are C”V Mamzerim.
So she can’t move on with her life, until she receives the Get.
If a married man remarries, without giving a Get to his 1st wife;
his marriage to the 2nd wife is still Kosher, and his children with the 2nd wife are NOT Mamzerim.
So he CAN move on with his life, even without the Get. It just means that now, according to Judaism, he has 2 wives, instead of one.
So R”L it’s the WOMAN Agunah who has more to lose.
How was Mike22 committing tax evasion and cheating,
if he was on a student visa and if the stroller complied with the government rules?
“To ‘health’ and all the other Eretz Yisroel deniers”
What exactly is an Eretz Yisroel denier? No one is denying the existence of Eretz Yisroel. It has existed since the creation of the world.
Health, HaKatan, and The Chassidishe Gatesheader are against the existence of the Zionist STATE of Israel.
The boundaries of ERETZ Yisroel are defined by the Torah. So if, for example, you live in Eilat; you would not give Terumah and Maaser, because Eilat is not part of Eretz Yisroel.
The boundaries of the present-day STATE of Israel are defined by politics and wars. For example, at one time, the Sinai Peninsula belonged to the State of Israel; but now, it does not.
Actually, the TV show was on CBS, not NBC.
But I agree with everyone who is against this performance.
It does not belong on TV.
The difference between the Satmar and the NK is as follows:
Both groups believe in the validity of the 3 Oaths, as per the Gemara Kesuvos 111a.
The Satmar protest on their own, without any affiliation to the Arabs.
The NK protest together with the Arabs.
I saw this happen once at a Bar Mitzvah. Someone was making a speech about the Bar Mitzvah boy and said things that really embarrassed him, and the poor boy was turning “all-colors,” while the rest of the room was laughing.
People really ought to be made aware that shaming someone in public is the equivalent of murder, and the “shamer” loses his Olam HaBah.
I think that a Tznius foundation would IY”H work very well if it had the name of the Choftez Chaim ZT”L associated with it.
Please see Declaration of Union of Orthodox Rabbis on Reform and Conservative Judaism:
I am not denigrating BT’s. I think that it’s wonderful of BT’s to leave their previous lifestyle behind and embrace a Frum lifestyle. Kol HaKavod to them.
All I’m saying is that as an FFB who’s married to a BT, who’s been through the experience of dealing with non-Frum family,
I can now understand an FFB’s hesitancy to go out with or marry a BT, due to issues of dealing with non-Frum family.
Yes, Popa. It looks like you’re flipping the question back to me, also. (Thank you, The Big One.)
What I posted here about Judaism is what was taught to me in Yeshiva.
The violations of Judaism which occur at non-Frum events are Giluy Aroyos (e.g. immodest dressing, and men and women dancing together, and to non-Jewish music), which is forbidden by the Torah. Also, their “Rabbis” are the “Rabbis” of a religion that violates the Torah. (gay/women Rabbis; double-ring ceremonies; not necessary to keep Kashrus, Shabbos, Taharas HaMishpacha, and Tznius; ok to practice homosexuality; ok to marry a non-Jew; as long as one parent is Jewish, the child is Jewish, even if it’s not the mother. All of these are acceptable in non-Orthodox religions.)
Are there any Torah-observant Jews here who believe otherwise?
I am an FFB married to a BT, as is oomis1105, so I’m experienced with dealing with non-Frum family.
For one example, one of my in-laws, A”H, once got annoyed with me, in the middle of the year of Avaylus for one of my parents, A”H, because I wouldn’t attend the in-law’s non-Frum sibling’s 70th birthday party with music and mixed dancing in the basement of a Reform temple.
Besides the Giluy Aroyos issue, and the Reform temple issue, evidently my year of mourning for my parent, which is the last Kibud that I could give my parent, did not count.
Another example: When one of the Reform nephews got engaged to a non-Jewess, we were asked to attend the engagement party.
I asked, “Is the bride Jewish?”
Answer from in-law: “No, but she’s a very nice girl.”
So my BT spouse and I refused to attend either engagement party or wedding, and we sent no gifts, and also no gifts when a child was born.
These are just 2 examples.
So I’ve been there.
So again, who are these anonymous Rabbis who are meikel for BT’s in the interest of Sholom Bayis, and what are they meikel?
I am not a Posek. I am an FFB married to a BT, as is oomis1105, so I’ve had to deal with issues regarding non-Frum family.
As The Big One said; if “there are rabbis who are meikel for some of the things on your list in the interest of shalom bayit,” shouldn’t they be identified, in the interest of fairness?
What are the names of these Poskim who are meikel?
Are they meikil to attend a non-Frum wedding? Are they meikel to attend an intermarriage? What are they meikel?
“Presiding over the event was Fr. Lawrence Frizzell, who began by addressing the University community in prayer.”
Hmmm – I wonder whom the good friar was praying to? Not his 3-part “god,” by any chance?
“The 73-volume Talmudic library will be cataloged into the university’s library in hopes of having the sacred texts available for students soon.”
Where is it going to be cataloged? Next to the New Testament?
I would also like to know who is the Posek who permitted the Talmud to be donated, and his reason for doing so.
There is no Lashon Hara here. If something is done publicly which is believed to be against the Torah, and C”V a Chillul Hashem,
then speaking out against it is not Lashon Hara.
I wonder if Clifford Meth made the donation on his own from Kars4Kids funds, without consulting a Posek. The article mentions, “his early exposure to Jewish-Christian studies.”
Midwest2 –
As I wrote above, I give BT’s 100% credit and admire them for deciding to become Torah-observant Jews; I’m not denigrating BT’s.
I’m sure that it’s not easy for them to become Frum, especially if they have to deal with opposition from their families.
All I’m saying is that some BT’s want to marry only FFB’s and not other BT’s, and some FFB’s hesitate to marry BT’s because of the issues with the BT’s non-Frum families, unless the BT stops participating with the non-Frum families’ “Simchas.”
I would be curious to know who is the Rov who permits a BT to attend a “Conservative” wedding (to keep family good-will), where there are so many violations of the Torah; as the Conservative “rabbis” (and especially “gay” or women rabbis) are not rabbis, a double-ring ceremony is not a Jewish ceremony, and there is mixed seating and immodest dress and men and women dancing together to non-Jewish music), etc.) ?
“Health: I find troubling the assumption that BTs don’t keep halacha and don’t ask shaalos. This represents a very xenophobic view.”
Nobody said that BT’s, as a group, don’t keep Halacha and don’t ask Shaalos.
But some BT’s may find it difficult not to continue to participate with the “Simchas” of the non-Frum family.
I know of a case of an FFB who is married to a BT who is “Modern Orthodox” Frum; but he still wants to attend the “Simchas” of the Reform non-Frum family, even if he doesn’t participate in them.
The BT’s mother is also a BT, and she davens in a Young Israel and even wears a short Sheitel; yet, when 2 of her nephews R”L married non-Jewesses, she attended the weddings, because “it’s family; it’s my brothers’ children.”
This is very troubling to the FFB spouse.
popa_bar_abba:
1) Why are you allowed to attend a “Conservative” wedding, performed by a “rabbi” who is not a “rabbi,” (and especially if it’s a gay or woman “rabbi”), where a double-ring ceremony is not a Jewish ceremony, and there is mixed seating and immodest dress and men and women dancing together to non-Jewish music), etc.) ?
“Conservative” is not Judaism, any more than “Reform” is; they both incorporate violations of the Torah into their “religion.”
2) Of course you can’t attend an intermarriage. Intermarriage is a violation of the Torah.
5) Tznius is a Mitzvah, just as keeping Kosher is a Mitzvah, and and keeping Shabbos is a Mitzvah. If the Frum relatives (the BT and his/her FFB spouse) will ask the non-Frum relatives to come to a Seudas Mitzvah, dressed according to the laws of Tznius; then the non-Frum women relatives should not show up at the Seudas Mitzvah, wearing a sleeveless or strapless short dress, above the knees, or pants.
I’m not saying that that BT’s will do something that is Assur.
I’m asking if BT’s who want to marry FFB’s, will not, after the wedding, participate with the non-Frum family in things that the non-Frum family are doing, that are Assur by the Torah.
Please also read the posts by oomis1105 to see what I’m talking about. Many times, there is pressure by the non-Frum family to participate with them in events that are Assur; otherwise, the BT and his/her FFB spouse are considered “religious fanatics.” This is something that an FFB with Frum family on both sides of the family doesn’t have to deal with. Can the BT resist this pressure?
Obviously, I’m not making myself completely clear.
Is there someone else who has been following this thread, who can explain better than I’m doing, to popa_bar_abba, what I’m talking about?
Thank you, Health, for the additional clarifying comments. I greatly appreciate them.
popa_bar_abba:
To clarify:
If an FFB marries a BT;
then after the wedding, is the BT prepared to:
1) Not attend “conservative” or “reform” weddings, bar-mitzvahs, and bas-mitzvahs, etc. made by the BT’s non-Frum family (as their “rabbis” (and especially “gay” or women rabbis) are not rabbis, a double-ring ceremony is not a Jewish ceremony, and there is mixed seating and immodest dress and men and women dancing together to non-Jewish music), etc.) ?
2) Not attend C”V the marriage of a Jew to a non-Jew, if someone in the BT’s non-Frum family decides to C”V marry a non-Jew?
3) Not enter a “conservative” or “reform” temple, if that’s where the BT’s non-Frum family prays?
4) Not eat in a BT’s non-Frum family’s non-Kosher home?
5) Insist that that the BT’s non-Frum family dress and behave according to the Torah’s standards of Tznius, when the BT and his/her FFB spouse make a Seudas Mitzvah (wedding, bar-mitzvah, etc.) ?
So is the BT prepared to do all of the above?
If not, why should an FFB want to marry you?
That’s as clear as I can make it.
Thank you, Ben Torah. You are correct.
I was referring to the BT’s non-Frum family,
after the BT becomes Torah-observant.
As an FFB married to a BT, I can certainly sympathize with the situation of “oomis1105,” regarding non-observant Jewish relatives, as I have experienced similar issues, also.
I give BT’s 100% credit and admire them for deciding to become Torah-observant Jews.
But if a BT wants to marry an FFB, is the BT prepared to do the following (as “conservative” and “reform” violate the Torah and are therefore not Judaism) ?
1) Not attend “conservative” or “reform” weddings, bar-mitzvahs, and bas-mitzvahs (as their “rabbis” (and especially “gay” or women rabbis) are not rabbis, a double-ring ceremony is not a Jewish ceremony, and there is mixed seating and immodest dress and men and women dancing together to non-Jewish music), etc.) ?
2) Not attend C”V the marriage of a Jew to a non-Jew?
3) Not enter a “conservative” or “reform” temple?
4) Not eat in a non-Kosher home?
5) Insist that Jews dress and behave according to the Torah’s standards of Tznius, when making a Seudas Mitzvah (wedding, bar-mitzvah, etc.) ?
If C”V a relative, even a parent, asks a Jew to violate the Torah, the Jew must refuse.
So is the BT prepared to do this?
If not, why should an FFB want to marry you?
SJSinNYC, no one says that a person has to dress like a “neb” to be Tznius-dik.
In the book, “Daughters of Dignity,” it is written:
“The Yetzer Harah tries to convince us that dressing B’Tznius connotes dressing drably. This is a grave misconception. . . A woman who dresses modestly, yet not respectfully, can cause a great Chilul Hashem, since she is projecting the Mitzvah of Tznius as unappealing and undesirable. Thus, those who see her will claim, ‘Look how unpleasant this woman appears. If this is what Tznius is all about, then I don’t want to dress modestly.'”
“Modest clothing and behavior is the epitomy of beauty. As it is written, ‘Jewish daughters are beautiful (Nedarim 66),’ for their outer modest appearance reflects their inner qualities.
Conversely, the secular world’s concept of beauty comes from the opposite end of the spectrum. Their styles are designed to spread immorality in the world. How can their opinion of beauty dictate our taste? How can we value what they think is beautiful?”
All that is being said is that the clothing should conform to Tznius, which is a Mitzvah, before conforming to what is “in style,” or “in fashion.”
As mw13 posted above:
“Life comes before everything: In 610/613 cases, correct.”
The other 3 cases are the 3 sins for which a Jew allows himself or herself to be killed rather than transgress, of which one is Giluy Aroyos.
SJSinNYC: Streimels are a head covering worn by Chassidic men, and black hats are a head covering worn by Litvish men and some Chassidic men. Please explain how streimels and black hats violate the laws of Tznius for women.
My post specifically mentioned “styles which Goyim design to be provocative to men.”
The question is: does the style conform to the rules of the Torah?
aries2756: The fact that we all have issues that we have to work on does not negate the fact that Tznius is a Mitzvah of the Torah and must be fulfilled by all females. It is not an issue of “finger-pointing,” and it is not an excuse to neglect the Mitzvah.
Per the book, “Daughters of Dignity” —
Tznius, the Protection of the Jewish Woman; Our Royal Uniform; the Essence of a Woman.
Commandments of Tznius: “Your camp shall be holy.” “You should emulate Hashem’s ways.” (from Sefer Devorim)
“Be holy, for I, Hashem, am holy.” (from Sefer Vayikra)
“You should not follow the customs of the secular world.” “Do not cause others to stumble.”
Rewards for Tznius: Presence of the Shechina; Protection against Harm; Protection from the Evil Eye; Respect. Kedushah rests on a Tzenuah; the Shechina dwells in the home of a Tzenuah; a Tzenuah generates Kedushah in the world; Modesty elevates a Person; Acceptance of Tefilos. A married woman who strengthens her level of Tznius will cause her husband’s level of Kedushah to be elevated. A woman who is modest can merit to have children, even if naturally she is unable to conceive.
“The level of righteousness of a child is dependent on the mother’s level of modesty.”
A Tzenuah will merit Techiyas HaMaysim; A Tzenuah’s Neshama will be clothed in beautiful clothing in the World-To-Come; A modest Woman will be praised by her husband, children, and all of Klal Yisroel. The higher the level of her Tznius, the more she is praised.
Consequences of Immodesty: It drives away the Shechinah, causes poverty, causes calamities (Lo Alaynu), empowers our enemies, cheapens a person’s self-image, permeates impurity, causes others to sin, prevents acceptance of prayers.
This is endorsed by these Rabbonim, Shlita:
Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, Rabbi Binyomin Eisenberger, Rabbi Usher Eckstein, Rabbi Yisroel Dov Webster, Rabbi Shmuel HaLevi Wosner, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, Rabbi Nissim Karelitz, Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach, the Vishnitzer Rebbe, the Alexander Rebbe, the Belzer Rebbe, the Sadiger Rebbe, Rabbi Michoel Yehuda Lefkowitz, Rabbi Pinchas Scheinberg.
Any more questions?
Goyim follow “styles,” which are “in” one day, and “out” the next day, and which they design to be provocative to men.
Jews follow the Torah MiSinai, which does not change, and which was given to us by Hashem, Who does not change. Tznius is a Mitzvah of the Torah. Period.
Observing Judaism means keeping the Mitzvos of the Torah.
I hear this all the time:
“Why are you complaining about this sin? What about the sin of so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so?”
The fact that other sins against the Torah are committed does not make the lack of Tznius permissible. These sins obviously need to be dealt with; but the specific issue that is being dealt with in this thread is the serious sin of the lack of Tznius, C”V.
The book, “Daughters of Dignity,” explains the Mitzvah of Tznius from the Torah, the reasons and rewards for Tznius, the consequences and punishments for the lack of Tznius, C”V, and the rules of Tznius.
Eating Kosher is a Mitzvah of the Torah. Shmiras Shabbos is a Mitzvah of the Torah. Tznius is a Mitzvah of the Torah. Period.
I agree with you. I sometimes wonder if Tznius is taught anymore in the home or in Yeshiva. I see so many so-called frum girls with short, tight dresses or skirts, above the knees, and “stiletto” or very-high-heeled shoes, and long, red fingernails and toenails.
Besides the fact that they don’t look like Bnos Yisroel, when they’re dressed like that; they lead men into impure thoughts, for which they will be severely punished after 120. The Shechina departs when Pritzus is present.
It seems that many kids go off due to emotional reasons. Either they were verbally abused by their teachers, principals, Rabbeim, Menahilim….
Why is it that in this generation we are so sensitive and if we are mistreated, we are ready to throw in the towel with regards to Yiddishkeit? Are people more sensitive these days? Or are the Rabbeim less qualified and more insensitive?
If these teachers, principals, Rabbeim, Menahilim, etc. are supposed to be representative of teachers and leaders of Yiddishkeit, which teaches us to have respect for and treat kindly, our fellow Jew, and not shame him,
and then they verbally abuse a student, or shame him in front of an entire class, creating a Chillul Hashem,
what is the student supposed to think?
If the teachers and leaders of Yiddishkeit preach one way and act another way, the students see them as hypocrites and want nothing to do with a Frum lifestyle.
I agree with BP Totty’s first post.
In my day, after girls finished Yeshiva High School, many were in the Shidduch Parsha right away and started looking to get married, and, while doing so, were either in college or in a trade school, training for some kind of Parnossa. The boys attended college or trade school, and were learning Torah at the same time, so they would be prepared for Parnossa. Girls and boys saved up their money until they got married. Going to Eretz Yisroel for a year, or learning full-time, was an option. Going to Seminary was an option, or for girls who wanted a teacher’s license, and going to Seminary here in the US was fine. We didn’t hear stories about a “Shidduch Crisis.”
Now all of a sudden, going to Seminary has become a “style” for girls, and Heaven help you if you don’t go, or if you don’t go to Eretz Yisroel for a year. Boys have to sit and learn full-time for a while. Why can’t a girl stay in the US and start looking for a Shidduch right away? Why must every boy be a Yisochor? Is there no room for a Zevulun, who works full-time and is Kovaya Itim to learn Torah during the day, and gives his Maaser money to help support Torah study?
Of course, every Jewish man and boy must learn Torah. But not everyone can be put into the same “pigeon hole.”
Why isn’t a girl good-enough, if she didn’t go to Seminary? I have a long list of girls for whom I daven for Shidduchim, who are pretty and accomplished and went to all of the right schools, and they’re in their mid-20’s and still not married R”L.
Isn’t it more important that the boy and girl have the same Hashkofos and get along, for a Shidduch?
“Your trust in them is greater than the Shulchan Aruchs and the Gedolim.”
“That’s because the mechabeir and the Gedolim never met my kids! :)”
The Psaks of the Shulchan Aruch and the Gedolim are based on the Halacha of the Torah, which is the word of Hashem.
Do you know your kids better than Hashem? Do you know Halacha better than the Shulchan Aruch and the Gedolim?
When Hashem gave us Halochos, He gave them to all Jews to observe; and only He, the Creator, knows best what is correct for the Jews, his Creations. He didn’t make it a subjective decision, based on a person’s reasoning.
“Rabbi, what are you doing?” asked the student.
His teacher responded, “I am 86 years old and blind in one eye, and I am still affected by human nature. You are young and in the prime of life. If you are not affected by immodest sights, then perhaps you’re sick. I am saying Tehillim for your recovery!”