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@ZSK, I am aware that you are a man, and yes, I felt I could make a judgment based on what you wrote. I am sure parental meddling exists too, but my single friends are not unmarried because of this. Their parents are not the type to be over-involved in their shidduchim, and I feel comfortable and confident saying this for all ten girls. My own parents were barely involved in my shidduchim because they are not well-connected and we relied on shadchanim for ideas. I would surmise that the girls whose parents were more involved in their dating prospects were among those to get married earlier. Furthermore, my friends are open to dating all types, including men who have been married before. I don’t know you, so I don’t know why people did not consider you mainstream, but the description you wrote sounds like the type of boy that my friends are all looking to date.
@opinionated-2, there are 65 girls in my grade. 10/65 doesn’t seem like a lot, but that actually translates to 15%.
I don’t see why girls should be encouraged to go to Shana Bet. Shana Aleph is expensive enough, and honestly, it would be more worthwhile for girls to start working or attending college then sitting in Israel for another year.
The way I experienced it, is there is a dearth of frum, solid boys who are serious about earning an income and supporting a family. By solid, I mean someone who makes daily time to learn and davens with a minyan. The reasons for this are another whole discussion.@ZSK you sound very naïve discrediting the experiences of thousands of girls based on your own experiences.
I am 28 years old and I recently got married. There are around 10 unmarried girls in my grade. Most of these girls are my friends, as we became closer over the years. All of these girls are pretty, talented, and personable. Most of these girls are also looking for a frum, solid, boy with a plan which unfortunately is very difficult to find. The grades below me are also filled with girls in similar predicaments. As the years pass and these girls accumulate, a crisis is formed. My experience in shidduchim was pathetic. Mothers of boys were obsessed with my parent’s income and social standing. The shadchanim in my community are maxed out. My husband (who is my age) and his friends had a very different experience. They were constantly sent resumes, and of course, the boys are the ones to approve of or nix a suggestion. They took long, leisurely breaks. There is a definite double standards where girls must have their entire lives figured out by the time they are 20, and boys can wait until they are 32 to think potential ways to support a family.
I don’t know what makes me more upset, the fact that many, many girls have slimmer and slimmer chances of getting married as the years pass, or that a frum jew with a heart has the audacity to deny their existence.