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posheteyid: re “all pushy in europe” It actually goes back further. The mishnah in Pesachim relates that the Pesach was shechted in three groups, AND THEY WOULD LOCK THE DOORS TO THE AZARA inbetween groups. Why? Somewhere along the way we lost the concept of d’racheha darchei noam. Waiting on a bus “line” here in EY gives you a faint clue why they locked the doors.
Re: Mepal and Squeak: re: for example reporting to childrens services. Not so pashut. I Hatzola, my previous life, we were charged by a panel of social workers, child psychs, crisis intervention, Ohel heads and others that we the Hatzola grunts were mandated reporters, just as any health care worker. That meant calling the call to BCW (in NYC) in cases where abuse was suspect or evident. The Rabbonim that were our halachic managers did not say boo. This was after a tragedy in Boro Park that slipped through the cracks because of many things, among them the community reticence to air problems, and fears of mesirah. Let me tell you from experience, it is a nisayon I wish on nobody. One the one side you have the potential of pikuach nefesh, and on the other condemning a family already with a pekel to a fate in the gulag officialdom worse than death. Hashem yishmereinu.
Haifagirl, you are correct, and therfore those that deny students the finer details of math and geometry, (beyond 5th grade level) deny them the opportunity of understanding of Hilchos Kiddush haChodesh.
We understood your point to the moderators, and I hope you understood ours. 26
FunnyBunny and others: A woman is required to daven only once a day and in no format or time restraint. Therefore to remain in shul throughout the tefilla is meritorious if you can make it worthwhile, but not required. One well invested heartfelt tefilla, and the viduiim is quite enough, and in the presence of a tzibbur, even more than enough. Also bear in mind that most of the concepts of tefilah we learn from Chana and the Haftara of Rosh Hashana. The rest of the time can be spent in whatever way you can enrich and beautify the Yom Tov. Ketiva vachatima tova.
A chassidic tale comes to mind: An am ho’oretz wanders into a shtibbel on erev YK as people are preparing for Kol Nidre. He picks up a siddur and looks in, but he is bewildered by the many pages and strange letters. All around him are covered in tallesim, humming, wimpering, so he goes up to the front where the Rebbe is sitting facing the people. He asks: “Rebbe, where are we holding? The Rebbe looks up, and in tears says: Me? I am holding by last Chanuka!”
If you can, try rereading the slichot, and if you can find them in an old mahzor, the Slichot for Yom Kippur. I came into possesion of a stand alone volume of slichot YK from Zhitomir about 130 years old, with pages dimpled I think by tears. You can also find them in old mahzorim from the twenties often British, but the english translations are not true to text, or as regesh provoking. Hatzlacha in Avoda
Not to deny the angst of the Yom Hadin, YK is also the Yom Matan Torah Shebaal Peh, and no less a joyous day than Shavuos! If neither of these mindsets works for you, sit in the back and learn Mishnayos or Maseches Yuma quietly. Kesiva vaHasima Tova,— and Chag Sameach,
Tough row to hoe: My “minhag” (reading of the halacha)is the chazoras hashatz has to be heard mila bmila. I also am mkubal to do kiddush b4 hatzos, and I lain for a very lebedik sleepyhead minyan starting 10:30-11:00. First day sneaked into a very exclusive netz minyan at go’al Yisrael, left b4 hazora as I know them to sing too much over the shatz. Longish break, lained and did musaf with the sleepyheads who are mu’ad to mess up the chazoras hashatz. Kiddush on time bit b4 hatzos. Second day, in search of tekiot lachash. Found “Sefardi Avreichim” netz. Beautiful, every word, even when they shout out stuff, he waits and then says. Piyyutim all before, after, or in kadish tiskabel. Oops, he didn’t say Modim out loud. Stayed for kriya (Morracan) and musaf with tekiot, left before kedusha (slow davener)and based on previous performance, leined by the sleepyheads, home to do some tekiot my way, and kidush about hatzos. This is in Jerusalem. Next year maybe I will try the Yekkes.
Some thoughts culled from long experience:
The free standing kitchen stove/oven can be a scalding/death trap. Modern units come with a anti tip hook to be screwed into the floor board behind the stove. Make sure this is done and done by someone who cares. Without it, a weight on the open door, such as a toddler, a dropped pot, or a tripping individual will lever the whole oven and contents forward with horrific results.
Unbelievable but true: If you ever witness someone seat belted but holding a child otherwise unrestrained. Remind them that with the laws of physics in play in a collision the child will be ripped from those arms and rocketed into the dash or seatback.R”L Likewise, NEVER do or allow a passenger to belt a child into the same belt. The laws of physics in a collision with this parameter, would have the large mass pressed against the small mass pressed against the belt. It can cut a child in half. R”L, I don’t see this frequently, but not infrequently either.
Bicycle helmets are not just for kids. My wellness if not life was preserved by a helmet at age 40 somthing.
Yosef Hashem aleichem kachem elef p’amim….
EDITED
Davar acher, though tangential, for those interested in early ideas of flight, the Rambam in Shmona Prakim discusses the unreliability of the imagination, saying it can conceive the impossible(sheker), such as a “steel ship flying in the air”. I was giving a Machshava shiur in this in a community near JFK in the Shabbos afternoon rush hour. I dont think any of those participants left with an idea of scientific infallibility of the Chachamim.