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ah
so sorry to hear about it.
Just went through this myself; the day shiva finished for 1 person, the next one passed away…that’s why I hadn’t posted till now.
wish I knew what to say to make it better for you.
correction
It’s great that you are fighting through this challenge and not isolating yourself. Your reaching out online is a testament to your resilience and perseverance. It’s also helpful to know that you are not in this alone.
Keep up the good fight and you should see results
One of the better gifts I’ve given myself is blocking texting from my cellphone.
??? ?????? ??! (now where have I heard that before?!)
Remember the old adage “LESS IS MORE.”
If you are using purchases to fill an emotional void, identify the source and tackle it head on.
??? ??? ?????? ?? ????
“I don’t remember which ones (threads) off hand”
mp, you could check your profile and you’ll see on which threads you’ve posted recently
Dr. P
“It wasn’t on the riddle thread and it’s still there.”
On which thread did you banter back & forth?
???? ??? ????
r-b
“Why are you more confident that a basar v’dam said you will earn X amount of dollars per year, more than what hashem will give you?”
The basar vadam is Hashem’s shaliach
“If the person you are doing the favor for has developed a sickness that they use others or are lazy, by you doing them a “favor” you just enable them to continue being sick.”
It’ not always so easy to determine. There are some people who suffer from emotional issues rendering them unable to perform simple tasks, yet they appear “normal” to the layperson. Labeling such individuals as “users” or “lazy” is a huge avla.
r-b
precisely my point
?? ??? ???? ??? ????
“For the past year I’ve been dealing with my own difficult situation. I don’t know anyone frum in this situation so I felt very isolated and could not find a frum mentor or similar support.”
My experience is that there is always someone else out there with a similar although non-identical situation. Seek and ye shall find. Yagata umatzata taamin.
“I’ve always found from experience that a good cry and a bowl of ice cream (can be substituted for any other fattening or caffeinated treat) can do a world of good!”
Using fattening and unhealthy foods as an anesthetic is highly not recommended. Try a different method that’s beneficial in both the short and long term.
perhaps this one
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/frustrating/page/2#post-269039
(haven’t been here in awhile, so I’m not sure)
??? ??? ??
“Is it a lack of bitachon to live within a budget, and to have (almost) every penny figured out?”
Would you say that standing in the middle of a busy highway shows bitachon?
??? ???? ????
??? ??? ??? ??? ???
The earlies source seems to be the Meam Loez (Ki Savo). Interestingly, ???? has the numerical value of 613.
R Palagi- one should point with the right index finger of their right hand. (see Sefer Hachaim from Rav Chaim Palagi 3:6)
arwsf
Could this behavior perhaps be her struggle with identity & separation so typical of teenagers (& beyond)?
If so, better that she go through it now than later years down the road. Most parents of kids this age describe similar behavior (as well as the moms pulling their hair out, so to speak).
You sound like a very dedicated mom and as such, your daughter will come to appreciate you once again, in due time.
Gam ze yaavor be”H.
To come full circle, it might be a good idea to use this critical time to appreciate your own mother & her struggles. She probably did the best she could.
Wishing you much hatzlacha & patience
Can the mods change “does” to “can” in the title so that it CAN make sense
TYIA
You’re welcome. -95
“Just because your parents are divorced doesn’t mean you don’t have a father. (Unless the mother didn’t let him see the child.)”
Blaming the mother carte blanche is unrealistic.
Perhaps the dad went otd. Maybe the dad doesn’t want the responsibility of being a parent. There are other possible scenarios which you can come up with if you think about it.
‘Parental alienation…wherein sometimes the mother tries to paint the father in a bad light, and seemingly “protects the children from him”.’
It could be the other way around, too, where the dad alienates the child(ren) from the mom.
How did you come up with the name Eeees?
“I don’t think I should write my own prayer on this forum, because I think people would be too appalled and frightened at what I’ve gone through.”
For some this may be true. For others, you may be the chizuk & inspiration that they need. There is always someone else in a similar situation (different, but similar).
If you decide not to write because of your own personal reasons, that’s understandable.
But please don’t write because of what others may think.
You’re in a unique position to help others in a similar position.
As middlepath wrote above, “Sof Davar, I can relate to your prayer. It is somewhat comforting to know there are others who went through similar types of hell.”
Lugano
Everyone has baggage, as life in olam hazeh is not perfect.
As the baggage is dealt with, one becomes a healthier adult with the prospects of a healthier choice in a marriage partner & a healthier marriage.
This is way easier than dealing with baggage that has reared its ugly head during a marriage.
arwsf
I’m curious if you see a correlation between your daughter telling you what you should have done when she was younger & you feeling your mother made a poor choice when you were younger
This forum is anonymous & your mother is unknown here, but it is quite feasible for an alcoholic’s wife to post here:
My daughter thinks I made a mistake giving up a life with an alcoholic who abuses me & the family physically, emotionally, & I am petrified of his alcoholic rages which he conveniently forgets the next day. My body was perpetually bruised & I was repeatedly violated, as were some others.
I was petrified taking the final step of dissolving the marriage, no money, no roof over my head, without enough emotional or financial support.
I felt that this was the only recourse I had as the father for YEARS refused treatment. I had become the unhealthy enabler & codependent.
I & my family would have been destroyed if we had stayed a a unit, yet my daughter criticizes my choice & believes it’s because I didn’t have the strength of character. Nor the patience.
Could you believe it?
“but the prayer automatically assumes that it’s the father that is not there.”
The prayer assumes nothing.
Did you miss the OP:
“This prayer written by a child of divorced parents”
The child knows which parent is missing.
“Abused kids are much more likely to be abusive adults.”
OR abused. Studies show that both are realistic possibilities. And this is in cases where there is no intervention or counseling.
This make a huge difference.
mod, I’m surprised that 2 lines above were allowed to go through, after the discussion on the other thread about onaas dvorim.
Minyan Gal
May your mom be for us a gitte bater
She’ll be thought of when bentching lecht later
We’re grateful to her, too
For she has given us YOU
And you’ve made her merits so much greater
Yemin Moshe
As far as I knew, I’m newish
Dimona
Kudos to you, Icot!
Katamon
??? ??? ???? ?????
Minyan gal coined:
“You don’t have to be frum to be a mentch, but you must be a mentch to be frum.”
“when i go into a non jewish shop or a non frum shop, more often than not ill get a hello and goodbye, but i seem to rarely get that in frum shops.”
Yup,same here. How can we change that? Anyone have ideas?
There was a levaya this evening of a yingerman who passed away w/o realizing his life would be cut so short. He was the epitome of making use of each moment. Rabbaim was certainly not speaking hypothetically.
Studies show that when helping others, one becomes happier & feels productive & accomplished.
Might I suggest that you become a mentor for a child from a single parent home, visit a homebound individual, or call the gamach hotline to see where help is needed. I’ve heard that the gamach booklet needs to be updated & volunteers are needed to make calls to update the listings.
If you can, let us know what you choose.
mg,
I have a lot of respect for you how you are forging ahead & not being complacent with life as you knew it…among other things, such as your unbelievably creative talent.
I was wondering if you referring to dovid gottlieb.com?
MOSHE BEN SHEVA ESTHER niftar today bd”e
This reminds me of the typical teachers’ complaint that it’s the A+ students parents who attend PTA, while the F students’ parents are MIA…
“That (believing) has nothing to do with hope.”
I’m not sure how one can separate believing & hope.
Moshiach will come either b’ito or achishena, depending on whether we are deserving or not.
Either way, Hashem has our back covered.
(Yeshayahu 9:5)
tough to understand
2. hot dog
5. spud pudding
potato kugel
funny
?? ????
any improvement?
Icot
It seems that several digits fit the bill, so how are you isolating to one set of 2 digits?