Always_Ask_Questions

And he personally was going to punish Naval, otherwise Abigail would have met someone else!

ujm, don’t give kids ideas, but simply block all those addresses from your admin account, and local accounts should not have access to the router

Avram > Just make sure to disable guest browsing and restrict logins to preset authorized accounts only.

Right, you start with having only one admin account to which you have password, and then everyone (including you) work from local account. That is important to control yourself but also that kids don’t see you typing the password 🙂

> I would also add rules that devices should be used only in public spaces (dining room, living room) and not in bedrooms.
This is a standard recommendation from consultants. They also recommend making such suggestions into official rules. Sometimes, of things are gone in a wrong direction already, you can exchange a new iphone for new rules. We were not able to do this consistently though, our family is not so much rule-based starting with parents. Computer rules work better.

> And yes, if the child is defeating your filters, then an escalating tit for tat battle that requires the parent to become more seasoned than a NSA network engineer is not the solution.

OpenDNS and such allow monitoring what is being watched (and when). Don’t block a site immediately, spend a little of time on surveillance, then block the whole new approach. Keep them confused – switch filters off/on every 15 minutes, sometimes check same site on your computer and say – no it is not a filter, it works on my computer (rules allow that also), etc.

The idea that shabbos is not a problem for real frummies, so let’s optimize Shahar shaharis ignores those Yidden who work high intensity jobs and get into major difficulties and those less committed who might compromise shabbos when it is really hard. Remind you, halakha cancels shofar on shabbos because of some dude potentially deciding to carry his shofar out to learn the tune.

Chaim gives a wider list, but I suggested looking at r Soloveitchik, who was recognized by enough gedolim, some disagreeing, he was on moetses early on but then quit. Maybe he is not a Z in r Kooks sense, but he writes a lot about related issues. I would suggest this book: Community, Covenant and Commitment: Selected Letters and Communications, it had a number of letters on political issues so that you can see his shitah. I would also open one of his less political seforim for balance so that you get an idea of his lomdus.

If you are concerned about internet misuse either by children or adults, the first thing to do is to disconnect phones and use computers. Phone use encourages impulsivity and abuse by making it available when you should be doing something else. So first establish use on the computer, then monitor traffic for a couple of weeks to understand what is improper, then adjust the filters appropriately. In case of outrageous misuse, put whitelist filters that allow only ywn, wsj, hebrewbooks and khan academy. . If the kid doesn’t complain for a week, need to find out what trick he is using and block that. At minimum, your kid will learn some non trivial computer skills and you will gain some mutual respect.

Arso > You, philosopher, have no right to decide how to learn pshat in Rashi since you did not go through the cheder-yeshivah experience. And you certainly have no right to argue with the Or Hachayim or the Rif on the Ein Yaakov

I did not follow your argument, but this statement per se is outrageous. Here is a learned lady bringing an argument and you are using invalid logical arguments to put her down. Could you just analyze her statement per se? Maybe you did somewhere else. You also seem to support R Soloveitchik position for coed Torah classes – his thinking was that separate classes will lead to inferior education. (I think he was right for the time and communities he dealt with, not necessarily true now). Your statement seems to mean that you think girls in your community get worse education in meforshim.

somejew > please provide me any ANY Torah defense of the zionist state, published by any of Gadolim you mentioned

While Chaim has names of more aguda-style rabbis, there are, of course, openly pro-zionism talmidei chachamim, but you might simply revert to saying they are not T’Ch because “no true Scotsman” would support zionism. At the risk of going this way again, I’d refer you to works of R Soloveitchik, who is, I think, less controversial than R Kook in terms of his relationship with secular Jews, and whose good relationships with such people as R Feinstein, are well document, as well as his earlier learning with his father and w/ Rav Ozer Grozdinsky (of whom he writes: I would visit him during vacation time at the Berlin University, I’ll present my chidushim that I worked out during the semester and R Ozer would typically point to a sefer on the shelf where this “chidush” is discussed). I challenge you to take a sefer by R Soloveichik and see whether he is a T’Ch and learn of his position on Israeli government and religious zionist organization – that he generally supported but often castigated when disagreeing with them.

qwerty > . Apparently you haven’t boycotted my posts

if you asked, I boycotted this thread for a couple of months as you all are shouting at each other, clicked on it “just in case”, and saw that the front line is still there, like WW1 trench warfare.

To your concern, I also enjoy reminding Chabadnikim that there are other Jews in the world. Gradually, my circle of chabadnikim includes mostly those who acknowledge that – either I became more selective or they absorbed the message over the years. To my delight, I found a following quote from R Soloveitchik in 1944 where he also says that he has ambiguous attitude towards Chabad: [he skips over his teacher that he mentions in other places], he respects Alter Rebbe’s Torah, but also he gets a magazine, smthng like “Der Torah und Der Kultur” (pardon my Yiddish) in which he says he could not find neither Torah nor Kultur. _BUT_ he says all problems are compensated by the amazing effort by the [previous] Rebbe sending his students who come looking like real Yidden and who find several tens of kids (including in Boston) and teach them. This is in context of his whole speech to Mizrahi that American Jews lack the context of Jewish community and it is almost impossible to make adults feel that they should live according to Torah, but it is possible to teach children – and that was his goal in opening day schools and he criticized Mizrahi – to their face – that they are only organizing political meetings and such.

Gadol, he is trolling you. Otherwise, he would move long time ago from monsey hills to syrian golan heights.

Neville > conceding to the minhag hamakom.

I am not conceding that making one dress in black hats and jackets is a legit minhag hamakom.

Speaking of minhagim, I was told a story about R Ovadia Yosef being honored at 7 brochos with some weak ashkenazi “wine”.
Without hesitation, he sang shehakol nihye b’dvoro.

follick, right, but it is “compensated” by women marrying late and, thus, having less difference in age.

Population growth is not the only reason for age differences over time – wars and hard work kill men; childbirth kills women; recently (?) asian society get rid of girls before or after birth, esp when Chinese gov allowed one kid only

general observation is when there are more men, society is more moral (women demand marriage), when there are more women, other way around.

opendns is free and it lets you create your own filters. Maybe there are already good setups.

qwerty > why mainstream Jewish media covered the Kinnus Hashluchim but Chabad never publicizes events like the Agudah Convention.

they are not different from others. Grand Daf Yomi Siyum did not include anyone outside of Agudah shitah, despite all words about klal Isroel. Same message – we are descendants of amoraim, others are not.

akuperma > If the Hareidim were running the yishuv in Eretz Yisrael, as was the case in the pre-zionist era, we wouldn’t be war with the Islamic world.

Look, I am sure someone said that during 1930s or even 40s – and it was a reasonable supposition. With all the wars that happened in muslim countries from that time, you really think Jewish community would live peacefully under Homeini/ISIS/Assad/Arafat?

I presume if you were to live in 1910s Russia, you would say – let me stay in my frum shtetl, the rabbis will find a way to live with Communists? Or you would do like Chofetz Chaim who ask his SIL to take a train on Shabbos to get visas from USSR to Lithuania

I found this interesting quote from Rav Avraham Moshe Avidan (IDF Rav, connected to Hesder yeshivot, I think) who used to ask questions and learn from R Eliashev over many years:
The question concerned an individual who was about to join the Mossad. To qualify, he had to undergo training for how to behave in enemy territory. As part of his training, they wanted him to violate Torah issurim.

“On the ground in a hostile country, it’s pikuach nefesh and presumably permitted, but this was just training — should the man train to eat non-kosher or to violate Shabbos? We didn’t know what to say.

“We went with the individual in question to Rav Elyashiv. He refused to permit it, saying that in the middle of an operation, when it’s pikuach nefesh, he was permitted to do these things, but not during training. What shocked us was that Rav Elyashiv broke down exactly what the Mossad’s needs were, what they were practicing and for what purpose, and following that, what precisely the halachah should be. I asked myself, how does he know so much about the inner workings of the Mossad?

HaKatan > that doesn’t mean that Rav Moshe would have allowed public gemara lectures to women, while Rabbi Dr. Soloveichik taught them himself.

exactly this. Gedolim may have held different positions but still respected, not just tolerated, each other. This is, like, should not be news – we have pages and pages of Gemora filled in with serious arguments between Talmidei Chachomim, mostly respectful with occasional flare ups.

It may be that some opinions, when followed by many, require destroying legitimacy of others for self-preservation. For example, Rashbi and his son looked down on working people, and nobody would tell them to go to work or army. But, let’s say 1000s of less talented people try the same lifestyle (as gemora says – many tried but failed) – it becomes difficult to explain to your neighbor, who is at comparable level, – and to yourself – that you can be a burden to the community as Rashbi. But if you can disparage your neighbor, they you’ll feel ok with yourself.

Neville, in those old days, we would not have a problem following minhag hamakom, because we would be from that makom. I do agree that we need to thank chassidim for breaking up communities and opening options, they were ahead of their time, before bund/communistim/tzionim.

> If you make a sphard shul, you’ll disappoint the Ashkenazi-daveners,

Maybe let’s separate between shul policies and personal behaviors. I enjoy davening to sephardi/chasiddic/modern shuls, I daven my own nusach quietly and have no problem to their minhagim overall. As long as they do not force ME to wear a spodak or shorts & sandals.

Incidently, R Soloveichik writes about his childhood memories of peddlers changing their appearance on shabbos into royal garbs. And then going back to peddler clothing after shabbos.

A serious question wheter a shul is for community or not. I think there is a concept of proviate minyanim both in old times and recently. So, a town or neighborhood should have one shul that is welcoming everyone, and those who do not want to welcome everyone can have their private shul. But this resolves the issue?

Hakatan, as you are consistent in your views, I’ll address the American side even as R Kook is a more interesting case. R Moshe and RJB didn’t simply collaborate, they were cousins who alternated calling each other before every yomtov. Family didn’t tell RJB when R Moshe was niftar out of concern for his health, but he figured out in a month when he didn’t get a call and called himself.

123, to clarify, the age gap is due to a large number of children on some communities. Thus, number of people who are 5 years younger is more than before. This is a historical abnormality, maybe a sign of moschiach coming. In older times, there were as many children, but majority didn’t survive. Most modern societies have way less children of course.

Never mind , Bidens already have a virtual library that they kept on hunter’s laptop

Chaim > Its also well known that he tried to make shalom between R Kook and R Y Chaim Sonnenfeld.

The way I read it in a (Hareidi) sefer – Chofetz Chaim cancelled his trip to settle in the apartment on Petach Tiqwa (on now rechov Chafetz Chaim) explaining that if he comes to Petach Tiqwa, he would surely need to go to Yerushalaim, and he would need to choose who to visit first – Yishuv Yashan or R Kook. Whomever he will visit first, the other group will reject Mishna Berurah … So, he would rather see everyone reading MB than being there himself in person.

And, right, quoting Rav Yedid and similar others is not the point – we all agree that there were people who totally rejected R Kook’s approach. The proposition we are arguing is whether there were serious talmidei chachomim who respected R Kook and to what degree. So far, the evidence seems to be that many respected in public and the question is was it genuine respect or a fake one.

Neville, yes, I did not believe that this is the reason for the shidduch crisis in a discussion here a couple fo years back, then I did some math and had to eat my (metaphorical) hat. I still have the leftovers!

I also think there are additional reasons that make the crisis worse:

1) boys are more comfortable to look for shidduch in less safe places. That is, at an equal level of observance, the boy will be more inclined to look for a shidduch at a university, club, etc.

2) requirements for girls are not high in terms of their effort – keep tznius, go to the right seminary, master the art of cosmetics, and develop a desire to marry a talmid chochom or/and baal middos. Boys are required to exert serious effort in learning or/and earning a living.

In other words, number of girls who develop a desire to “marry a talmid chochom” is way more than number of boys that actually succeed in becoming one! The double whammy here is not only girls have difficulty achieving their goal, their real nissayon starts after that – as in some cases where they are raising the kids; earning a living; and finding out deficiencies in the husband’s learning or middos.

Neville, I know you don’t know these people, but do a thought experiment. American Jews are assimilating at rapid pace for already 4-5 generations. There are millions of Jews in that state. More than half of them are left-wing, so say 20% of those (underestimate) have wacky ideas.

Someone with inside knowledge suggested to me that 6 mln of Am Jews are comprised of 2 mln that are connected and are a growing community, and 4 mln are on the way out, both ideologically and in terms of birth rate (including birthing Jewish kids). So, this would give you 0.5 mln of wacky assimilated Jews. Say, 10% of them have occasional interest in something Jewish. Rather than running to the nearest Chabad house, they might as well search for answers online and get to sefaria.

Neville > Isn’t that the opposite of the point?

Right. Seems to be what is optimal for one person is not optimal for the community. Unstable system.

Actually, it may be not good for the girl also: she might end up marrying later as this is when her age becomes close to chatanim and disbalance decreases – but she and her parents experience a couple of more years of anxiety and this may, H’V, affect her beauty. She would be better of going getting a MS degree before wasting her time applying for MRS degree.