Always_Ask_Questions

ujm > Do we need a 20th/21st century rabbi to quote whether and/or when we can wear shatnes

I mentioned a number of times that mitzvos bein adam l’havero change with times and culture. Kal v’homer bein adam l’ishto!

if you want a shatnes example – there are halakhos how to deal with a person who walks in the street and will be embarassed if he would have to take off shatnes clothes right there. I wonder whether this will be different if you are in Tehran or in a beach community?

CS, do they consider people who were MO but then donned a black hat also BTs, or there are easier acceptance rules for them?

From R Twersky’s “Dear Rabbi, Dear Doctor” p. 240, shortened
Depression in Jewish families is far more prevalent than realized. ..often kept secret [as well as other conditions],. choice is between shidduch with a family with a known case or the one that kept it secret [or other condition]. One father discussing this mentioned “while there are no cases in our family”. I had to restrain myself from saying “foolish man! I treated your wife before she married you!”
—
many opt not to reveal problem, some may claim that a posek told them so. Poskim I consulted said it is unthinkable that anyone would give such a ruling… vilolatin of “lo sonu”, do not deceive, and probably of lifnei ever.

if condition is not likely to recur, then maybe no need to disclose. If likely to recur, I can not see how info may be withheld. I asked several poskim to issue a statement about it. They all said – no need, as no posek will ever advise withholding.

A marriage which begins with violation of trust is headed for a trouble. He brings a case when a wife dicsovered her husband’s pills, who said his parents told him not to disclose. As a result, marriage survived, but in-laws were cut off from the family. In another case of wife’s undisclosed depression, beis din justified a get.

In case of a family member with a disease, it is a question for geneticists, one told me that information should be made available but should not serve as an impediment. Everyone has something in their genetics.

I do not believe that the shadchan need to be told. But when it becomes a serious consideration, after several dates, the only thing to do is to reveal

As far as others, ask a [posek]. My understanding of Chafetz Chaim that if someone knows important information, he is required to tell the other party even if not asked

> Why would you use a goyeshe doctor or plumber. There are heimish doctors, plumbers and sewer cleaners.

I think halakha is that you select the best doctor, and if they are about the same, go ahead select the heimeshe. There is often huge difference between good and average doctors. Also, if you patronize heimishe doctors without concern about their abilities, you will reduce competition and in the long term these doctors will have no incentive to become better doctors.

GH, just see how rich we became that struggles of previous generations are totally strange to us. But we are still complaining…

> two sisters applies to Maseches Yevamos could possibly be construed as a ben torah.

It used to be, a talmid chacham was allowed to hide knowledge of learning a particular maseches. Now, it leads to ridicule.

While there are certain mis-diagnoses, I think, mostly occurring in schools, as we discussed here before – there is no denial that there is a lot of denial in the community. R Twersky and others write about it, including hesitancy due to stigma on shiduchim, etc. Frankly, CR seems to be working in part as group therapy, maybe we should be recommending it in lieu of AA.

ujm > You don’t like the Halacha.

It is good to start with Sh’A for a historical review, but for issues relevant to people and modernity, you need to quote someone from 20th century, if not 21st

Shimon, I think I responded to your question: a country needs to limit movement to increase safety. So, they use priorities. Citizens allowed, others not. It is not so much that one is safer than the other, but they need to limit someone, and they start with outsiders. So, do other countries.

Back to welcoming – where does it actually succeed? Below are my observations that are limited to several OOT areas, so please correct me.

Discussion here was about elementary schools. I know that many Israelis and Russians send their kids to O- schools for K- and then go to public. In the 80s, early Russian arrivals in NY would go to O- schools until they earn enough money and get to suburbs with better public schools. I’ve seen some of those kids later at Chabad houses – they definitely did not become observant from that school experience, but some got enough background to stop by. So, partial, very limited success.

As to MO schools that have a mixture of observant and non-observant kids, I met many ehriche yidden who graduated from such schools, but all of them seem to have observant and knowledgeable parents. I do not recall meeting anyone whose non-observant family sent them to a MO school and they are observant now. This may be an observation bias, as I would have less chances of meeting such parents.

Seems like chabad houses on campuses have high success rate. Hillels to some degree.

Do we have places where adults can go. In most places, it is hard to imagine an outsider coming in and getting involved in a community. I quoted here a report from the 80s, where most newly arrived Russians were reporting that they were not finding their places in shuls. Do we meet all those Jews anywhere, or we just waiting for them to show up at our school doors so that we can verify their Jewishness?!

yid > In the place where Baelei Teshuvah stand,

this is why I frankly don’t like the word “kiruv”, a little snobbish implying you are better than him and trying to bring to the same place as you are. And you are in a perfect place already (I believe Chabad is not using this word and is able to do the job somehow)

Some Hosid was explaining to Gerer Rebbe that he is davening in a particular shul of baalei teshuva “although I am not one of them”. Rebbe replied – “why not?”

> Why is that less of a risk than allowing foreign tourists in?

All countries balance risk v. economy and voter satisfaction. Also, a country has certain obligations towards citizen. Every country does that, not just Israel. Practically speaking, you can hope that the citizen will go home and you can even ask him to stay home. The tourist will roam around immediately. Also, I believe Israelis returning from certain “red countries” are currently subject to quarantine.

Anyway, you can always argue on particulars of a particular decisions in each country, but that is why the countries have governments to make some reasonable decision, and you have a right to appeal to a court or vote in next election. You should not get too much upset every time you are not in a majority on an issue.

And, also, as R Meir Twersky wrote early on, politicians are bound by the desire to be re-elected, so Jews who value life more than economy and tourism should be more careful than they allow.

Shimon, all countries treat citizens differently from visitors for COVID. They need to manage risk and this makes sense. The best way for you to visit Ey might be to enter yericho from Jordan, or hang out on the other side of Golan or litani River. This way you don’t need to deal with gazlanim and you will not expose Jews to extra virus.

Not sure whether Spanish inquisition innoculated Sephardim against enlightenment, or it was just luck of geography. but note that expulsion in those times was not just mamon, but a huge risk to life also. I think also we can stop fighting enlightenment by now, it is not the same yetzer as 200 years ago. For example, Sephardim in USA don’t seem to flock to reform temples. Ignorance and Facebook seen to be more dangerous.

Avira, your reference to the furniture discussion matches the one I brought between Satmarer and Chazon Ish that yeshivas are the midbar away from negative influence. At some point, it is not fire or midbar any more, observant Jews need to look for the whole nation.

People here bring examples of confused people coming in.. by definition, if you stay inside, you don’t see millions of those who are getting lost. By some knowledgeable people, 4 out of current 6 mln Jews in USA are on the way to extinction. Definite statistics is that currently only 2% of Jews change denomination, the growth of O Jews is solely internal

I am confused how you ca marry before you can legally drink from the cup under the chuppah

I think most public schools (at least outside south) teach a lot about race. I think the ranting about “CRT” reflects a more general phenomenon – schools not teaching about US history and government properly, but only complaining about what they want extra.

We, Jews, are doing the same, paying attention to what we did not get. There is less excuse for us, given that we know a lot of history and can appreciate the difference. There is a school of thought that it is better for Jews to live among bad goyim to prevent assimilation, but, based on recent history, I am not sure whether we can calibrate antisemitism high enough to keep us in line, but low enough to keep us alive. A better theory (Rav Shach, for example) is that we need antisemitism only when Jews assimilate.

Avira, we had haskalah and Reform a little earlier than 1920. Maybe this is when they arrived to Brisk and even that is not so. There were probably always people not interested in observance, but they often did not have any good options, so they stayed quiet, and maybe their children or grand-children straighten out .. In cases when they could – Greeks, Spain, Germany, they left.

And I don’t think majority of “klal” has a lot of urgency about the issue. How many BTs are in regular shuls? how many ever meet or talk to secular reform Jews, Israelis or Russians? How often do Rabbis talk about outside other than about the danger? In most places, not often.

Shimon > It isn’t because of covid, that is for certain.

Shimon, I think this is their sneaky way not to allow people who think like above. I don’t think there is a mitzva of taki visiting Eretz Isroel while increasing their chance of getting some new variant … Better go visit North Korea while you have time on your hands, shake hands with Kim after coughing.

despite all our complaints, the rest of the world generally moves money into US during troubled times. But diversify, of course. Yaakov kept two camps when meeting Esav. We mention on Purim that this was the time of high risk because all Jews lived in the same empire.

One Biden’s measure benefited the Jewish community – he increased child credit to 3-3.6K per child and made it fully refundable, that is you don’t need to earn money to get “credit”. So, sort of UBI for children. Bli ayn hara, this could easily add up to 20+K for a family. I presume, schools that require tax documents or are just aware of this, get a part via decreasing discounts.

Health, I just put in the next line that I looked at a number of these publications. Don’t respond after reading the first sentence.

In the Jewish community, I know people who were and who were not affected. People who were affected were generally the ones who stayed uncareful, whether because their work/teaching or because of personal attitude. Several cases were people affected early in nursing homes and some older people during recent spikes whose relatives brought it in. I heard about only one case among my professional contacts (a professor in March 2020). Benefits of sane behavior are much higher than of any drug or vaccine, approved or not. As Gemora says, Hashem gave us Torah as medicine.

Actually, malaise works wirelessly, he does not even need to touch anything. Markets, allies, and adversaries all change their behaviors with expectations of your behavior. Companies stop investing in energy or in general expecting taxes and rule changes (happens right now), allies do not expect your help and look elsewhere, adversaries anticipate your reaction (Iran, Crimea)

crazykanoi listed all things that were done by Trump (thus “additional” in every line), except the infrastructure bill that did not pass yet, may be a waste of money, may be coupled with a bigger waste of money, and was somehow not of interest to Dems when Trump was the President.

Also, could someone clarify re:security – I’ve seen lots of funds going to private school during 2020 relief but my impression was that in 2021 a lot of funds are restricted to public schools. Didn’t look carefully, though.

GH> ben torah (chashuvah or not) can sometimes act like a jerk

I disagree. There are multiple quotes about Talmidei Chachamim that we can use as a definition of the term, such as T Ch merabim shalom b’olam. That is someone who is not doing that, is not one.

In particular, if you see T’Ch doing averah in the evening, you don’t need to give him tochacha next day, as he surely did teshuva. From this, we see that T’Ch can do an avera, but he will not do it repeatedly or habitually.