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This ties into shidduch crisis explanation that I find most plausible: a boy tries to be a T’Ch, while a girl wants to marry a T’Ch. Current educational system is great at inspiring everyone – boys to learn and girls too, but it can not miraculously make everyone into a T’Ch. So, naturally, less boys are successful in becoming a T’Ch than girls developing an interest in marrying T’Ch… The only way out of this, without changing attitudes, is dress code and grade inflation – making everyone look like a T’Ch so that everyone is happy.
I understand what you are saying about Florida governor, I do not know much about him, heard some good things he is doing re:education. Still, so far there is a difference between T and R- politicians, he showed business skills to tackle multiple very hard issues while all of them are good at talking about those issues. It was a promise in 2016 and it is a track record now. So far, someone who negotiated Abrahamic accords, moved embassy, funded 10 different vaccines over FDA slowness, put tariffs on China, broke ISIS, sent weapons to Ukrainians is still preferable to someone who is suing Joe Biden.
Most jobs that both men and women used to do are currently done by machines and computers. most of the jobs we have now, did not exist before. A modern soldier running a drone may require more “feminine” fine motor skills manipulating the joystick, patience to select the right shooting angle, and multi-tasking skills to chat with her superiors and review old videos while killing the enemy.
Rav Yohanan would sit near a mikva so that women look at him, while they were for him “like white geese”. He still did not pretend talking to women same as to men.
In truth, this is a little inappropriate. You should talk to each person in his ways. You talk differently to a T’Ch or to a farmer, or to professor, or to a professor T’Ch … So, talking to women same way as men is also inappropriate (“if you had a sister, would she have liked gefilte fish”).
anonJ > how the mother’s name is a tznius issue?
How do we say misheberech lately? In my shtetl, they still use mother’s name of the choleh. How do they do in your enlighted lands? Reminds of a shidduch date between TalKa and EliKaKu
In defense of Esav: he came with a load of fresh meat and was envious of a plate of lentil soup. That means he knew Gemorah from Beitza about not eating raw meat and agreed w/ Rabbi Akiva hat derech eertz is min Hatorah. And he kept it (in Eretz Isroel?).
In praise of Yaakov – he knew how to cook (both lentils and later meat), despite being a learning boy in a well-to-do family. Probably cleaned his tent also.
If Trump runs against Biden –
do you know anyone who voted for T who will vote for B or not vote? I don’t
do you know anyone who voted for B who will change his vote or not come? I know some as of this point. If there are 50K of these in the right states until election day, Trump wins even with all his negatives.We had here reported multiple areas having schools distributing free food. I think it means that the areas or the schools had substantial number of students qualifying for some poverty levels, at least as far as the government is concerned.
Amil, maybe I am not clear – the shtick was not that the guy was able to carry a plate, but that he was humbly serving last rows instead of sitting at the head of the table where his father was sitting.
bored teen, to clarify – we expect our kids to clean their rooms and do other things also. This is not good chinuch to tell the kid to take care of his territory only, as if he is not part of the family.
To clarify further – does not mean that they actually do any of it! But at least, when they grow up – they’ll tell their kids to do chores also (I am paraphrasing a saying “a father who tells his son to learn [rather than learning himself] will raise a son who will tell his so to learn [rather than learning himself])
> and boys usually have the upper hand in shidduchim.
that is before they get married
Zugger and R Dessler > He may have good role models, but he must make sure not just to become a copycat.
This ties into our other debate on FFBs and BTs. If you agree that times are pretty turbulent right now and things change quickly, FFBs sometimes are resistant to change as they are content following what was before. This works when this inertia is the right response to external change, but creates a problem over multiple generations of tzadik ben tzadik ben tzadik ben tzadik not being aware of what is going around him ….
Amil > Scrub floors?
I did not ask him, but he was very good carrying plates around. I did not know he is not from the catering service until someone pointed him to me. I did not realize that an idea of having kids do chores is so controversial here.
> EVEN if he runs around naked, that doesn’t disqualify him
what if he was walking on the street in his golden and purple clothes, got to a wrong neighborhood, not being familiar with NYC, got robed of his clothes on the spot, and now called police? Show some dan zchus ….
> ths loss by the Democrats was due to racist voters.
In addition the Lt Gov, the argument is specious. With their premise, all racists already voted for Trump. Where did additional 10% of population of racists come from!? And also many happened to be women and minorities. People whom RebE was watching are in denial that there are people out there who do not agree with them.
> This seems very different from fake reviews to me
They are saying they’ll pay her for a more detailed POSITIVE review, and presumably not saying that she is paid. The questions seem to be
1) would she exaggerate due to a payment, even unconsciously. this is similar to the judge/bride problem
2) it is implied here that the review will look like a freely written one. Gnevas daas? Or just expounding on what she said for free already?
3) I alluded above to Yevamos 63 where R Hiya lies to his mother to give the correct soup to his father Rav and we learn from there that even when lying is allowed l’derech shalom, the children should not get used doing that.I wonder whether an erliche solution would to be post a better review and finish it with thank you to the nice company providing me with funds to spend time writing this longer article.
> it unless you have 10 kids
CTL > Why is cleaning the house myself good for our wallets?Especially if you have kids, you should show them working ethics in person and then involve them. This would bring both physical and spiritual segula, as mentioned above.
As a yeshiva bocher, I was sitting at the back end of the table honoring a billionaire philanthropist, who was sitting at the other side with the Rosh Yeshiva. We were served by the philanthropist’s college-age son.
Charlie, last time you posted – Trump lost Loudon county by 24 points (17 in 2016), so it seems that the school board issue worked, l’zhut parents. Note that given that only some citizen really care about schools at particular times and general polarization, a 10% move in population is dramatic. Still Youngkin and school boards need to acknowledge help from Presidents Biden and Obama whose visits and visions contributed to this victory.
GH > with your 7 figure income, multiple vacation-home deductions etc, you get to deal with a higher calibre of IRS agent in your compliance audits.
I only had a pleasure to meet compliance agents from other government departments, they seem to be of higher self-esteem. I only met IRS guys virtually, B’H, and share your views.
> It is a democracy since people are the deciding factor as to which party should be in control.
It is not a democracy, but a representative Republic. When are they gonna teach modern civics in the yeshivas.
Avram > as people catch on to the more rudimentary ones, they become more elaborate and advanced.
Indeed, My good-hearted kid just left a nice review and soon got an email suggesting a payment for a longer one with a video or something. This is a smarter semi-ganav. Our halachik analysis so far is that this is akin to bribing a judge to issue a correct verdict – still osur. Or maybe it is simply a payment for the labor to express exactly same opinion in a better video form? Then mutar. Or maybe mutar aval asur so that the child is not getting used to sheker? please advise.
Gadol> I trust that most IRS agents have never read the works of a famous 19th century mathematics professor
Do you think they are chopped liver?! or undocumented migrants? I picture most of them being under-employed graduates from humanity departments from Yale and Columbia … I met auditors (not IRS) face-to-face and they present themselves as highly educated people who have to go down a level to waste time listening to excuses of simple folks running the businesses.
Avram, I think we subconsciously elevate as markers of observance things that make us “special”, “different”, thus kashrus and not middos (the weighty ones). Others observed also, for example, that we elevate action over “faith” as a counter-argument to religion that insists on “faith only”.
I would argue that “subconscious” decisions are, in other words, decisions that we did not examine with our logic. Logically, foundational ideas that are shared by the (good part of) humanity are of most importance, and then you build on them with additional refinement. Would people listen to Avraham, if he were obnoxious, rude, and a cheater?
Avram > are the only reasons for adhering to such a disciplined way of life.
I think you are saying that we use the “frum” definition between really observant Jews who do everything l’Shem Shamaim from those who behave nicely out of other reasons, either being non-religious or superficially religious. This makes sense, and started making sense from the time of Haskala, and served to make a protective line between “them” and “us”.
Let’s move to today’s observant community. I would argue that in many places number of people who seriously stumble in Kashrus & Shabbos is way less than those in geneiva and sheker.
Can someone enlighten us (pardon the word) what was Chofezt Chaim’s thinking about priorities between Kashrus & Shabbos (that he writes a lot about in books for less-observant people) and lashon harah? Does he see connection? same audience or different for these admonitions?
> Does Cherem D’Rabbeinu Gershom apply in the metaverse?
Oh, did you mean another one – about not hacking another person’s email account?
> Like putting a giant evil statue next to an image of the Luchois at a state capital
Rosh Hashona yesterday says it is OK to put a statue of a king near a shul – as nobody will suspect the community of AZ, but don’t try it at home!
> putting a Hebrew date on a check.
probably misspelling, but just warning you – if you put a Hebrew date on a check, it may not be cashed before Moschiach comes. Maybe a maschihist yeshiva will accept this check, to tie it back to the thread.
Which reminds me of a local Rov who told me that he went to a school Principal before the beginning of the year, asking: who is teaching 6th grade this year? P says “Hashem knows and will help”. Rov: then, He will be holding my check for now.
Froggie, please appreciate that Reb E went to yeshiva when Jack Kennedy was still alive. Learn as well.
It is very confusing, mr agent, today your tax is one height, then it is different. One day you are allowed SALT, another you are not, and now it will be again for two years. It is very confusing.
Agent: eat from this side of the mushroom – and hangs up.
Which side?!?
Avira > one of the most esteemed experts in chasidus
I think one problem with Chabad is insularity of their education: many do not appreciate Torah coming from other sources. This may be side effect of preparing bochrim for action early. Someone who is going to build a Chabad House in Iowa may not have time or focus to learn deeper. But this has to come with appreciation what the movement achieved. If you sit and learn all meforshim, while disparaging all other movements, you may not be on a greater maalah. There are a lot of sources saying that mesiras nefesh and involvement in community matters is worthy even if that decreases your limud (starting with Mordechai’s downgrade).
I found bringing up Vilna Gaon (as little as I know or understand him) works perfectly in increasing their awareness of the world :).
It is very impressive that election was won davka on the topic of education. So, the governor has a mandate to deal with education, which I think we all can agree is a critical issue for population, even if we do or do not care about public ed, and on specific methods. It is much better than people roused by passions about walls, black live matters, etc.
Seems like “white women” moved 15% towards R-. I would guess that mothers specifically were involved.
RebE > They don’t teach critical race theory in Virginia
Without getting involved into how politicians do rhetoric, there is a bigger point here: schools are not accountable, they exist on public money, they are mostly run by left-leaning boards and teachers, and they raise next generations of teachers, so things go downhill. Someone who run away from Hungarian commies should appreciate this bigger point – even if you may find some nekudos unpalatable and against your political leanings.
> is a cornerstone of modern yeshiva education
Open Bava Basra – the original (most desired by us) system during 2nd Beis Hamidash was for parent to teach kids. But not all could do it. Then, they went to “second best” – send kids to best, most inspiring, teachers – Cohanim in Yerushalaim. But not all were able to drive kids there. Third best – start teaching teenagers in regional centers (because teenagers were able to go on their own, but as far as Yerushalaim, as I recall, please correct if I am mixing it up). Then, we got something resembling cheder system – local teachers starting with 6 year olds. It was a great solution.
Modern times definitely open new technical opportunities to improve to better systems : Volozhin yeshiva went back to stage 3: teenagers at regional centers. Currently, we even have them going to Yerushalaim for a year or two (even if still not all can afford it, they still go). With recent growth in online tech, we can definitely move to the best possible one – parents teaching kids.
Let me know if you understand this Gemorah differently. I’d like to learn this further.
> Cherem
good question – can you have more than one FB (MV) “friend” at a time? FB is actually reported in increasing marital problems – people, lo aleinu, connect “virtually” to their former zevugim and things go down hill from there when virtual reality creeps into the real one.
Avira, if Torah would be a modern book going thru ArtScroll, surely she would be called Mrs Yitzhok and the stories abot her youth would be omitted. could one imagine that Mrs Yitzhak would talk to some eved and even give him a drink and then agree to travel with him despite her mother’s wishes during the shiva for her father zal.
common, based on this discussion, I am moving closer to your position on masks. So far, all baalei chesed were worrying that hospitals will be overwhelmed by amei haaretz and level of care will suffer.
I say now we should take all of them in the same room so that they go through 1st and 2nd infections faster, keeping hospitals at, say, 90% capacity instead of dragging this balagan over months.
Yes, this is my new mandate: everybody has one month to either get a vaccine or participate in a trial getting infected in a controlled environment – say, spending 5 minutes in a room with aerosoled covid. This “controlled natural infection” ™ might be quicker and safer than uncontrolled where someone could be in the same room with infected for hours.
Gadol, IRS is also worse than arayos. If someone plans to work there, please ask a shailah first. I don’t think they do any real work any more. They run computer programs to flag missing or anomalous data and then send notices that put an onus on the taxpayers to “explain themselves”, to quote Alice’s caterpillar. The only people who are not affected are avadim (who only get well-documented W2) and genavim (who do not report income or cleaning help on their tax forms).
We have just read of a successful marriage between a BT and a FFB – Rivka and Yitzhak (note that the Torah mentions her name, not just Eshes Yirtzhak, but I digress). Both have something to contribute: his davening is apparently more successful, but she seems to be a better judge of childrens’ character.
Anyway, I hope nobody is in the habit of has vesholom saying “I am not a BT”. Everyone should be, as I already quoted The Gerer Rebbe.
re: handyman
the most annoying is reading medical research about pregnant people this and pregnant people that… this is more disrespect for the women than omitting their names in wedding invitations …
> these folks are illegal and basically don’t deserve the $20 an hour requested
you can’t have it both ways. Either you believe in dina d’malchusa and not hire illegals or you don’t, and then pay fair wages according to halakha. What next – threaten them with ICE and make them work for a $1?
fwiw, back when Russian Jews were coming in droves to US, I observed some “frum” families were hiring old Jewish ladies for $2/hour. I know that these families were not rich and the ladies had no other sources of income, other than government subsidies, but still …
RebE > When we use a kapital, chapter for chumash, do we believe in the goyim’s believe who compiled it?
someone quipped that if Anshei Meah Shearim were aware of the history of the chapters, they would stop using them.
>> he was openly against Chassidim who did.”
> Any proof for that statement?a secondary, but contemporaneous, proof – when Lubavitcher Rebbe was already sick, this was the peak moshichism (as many abandoned it after he passed away, not to be like another religion). A local mature Chabad-affiliated Rav said publicly (in front of ~100 people) that he called the secretariat and asked if he can somehow be of use during these difficult times. They responded – please say publicly that this meshugas is not coming from us. And so he did.
Majority of people on Wall Street do not steal billions. I realize it started with smaller sums. Still, nobody goes around revealing their dishonest dealings. The other case would not be a problem if it were hidden.
consider this: a short skirt worn in Teheran or Meah Shearim would be a more offensive proposition than in London. A thief among mafia will be less offensive.
It may be a post with hebrew text got lost again. See Bava Basra 88 several statements by R Levi answering this question exactly: having bad weights (bad accounting!) is worse than arayos, and cheating people is worse than cheating Hashem.
Avram was worried – he came up with the whole story of idols fighting each other. A smart kid.
Also, Terach would obviously notice the loss, as he was in business selling them. This mom just had it stored. I think this was handled perfectly.
Syag > that doesn’t give you a free pass to “pasken like mommy”,
I full reserve my right to enforce my halakhic authority, I just rarely have to.
Halakha is that you believe one kosher witness in isurei, or as one Rav said – if we don’t take women as witnesses, I can’t eat in my home – and this is literally what we are discussing. I am obviously not saying that the lady of the house issues her own psak, but she follows what she learned in her school, and kids bringing humros from school needed to understand that they should follow family minhagim and not whatever a random teacher learned in her seminary. An obvious sign that the kids concerns were not l’shem shamayim was that they proposed humros rather than implementing them in the kitchen. This is no insecurity any more, btw, kids already learned that lesson by now.
ujm > The husband is the halachic authority of the wife and children.
absolutely, I just brought a recent case of a kid using the word “frum” in the same sentence as a ganav’s name. I absolutely used my halakhic and hashkafic authority to make sure that the kid will remember the tochacha for a long time (no patching was involved).
FWIW, I heard that Bugsy Siegel would bravely show up at funerals of his colleagues at the risk of being caught, but not enter the cemetery ass a kohen. People make different heshbonos.
I agree with both Avira and Novelty – eastern stuff is quote mainstream, while some marginal Jews may be affected by the local religion. I once encountered a professional contact who was interested in proselytizing. I replied nicely. He then went to another person who is not shomer shabbos and was told away in a less polite way. He was eventually also shun by his co-religionists because he was not fully frum in business matters also.
A story from a MO Rav – a teenager BT asked him regarding Indian dolls that his mother was keeping at home as a momento. They contacted a frum professor on the topic, who looked at picture and marked up which ones are avodah zara mamash. The guy first moved them inside the house to see if mom would notice. She did not, so they brought these to a workshop and had a real smash at it. Some rebbe brought his class to learn halakha l’maase.
ujm, a good question. Maybe because the skirt case involves understandable pull by current society. If she is a BT or MO school grad, then this is the environment fault to begin with and we need to give credit for whatever she is doing right. If she is a lapsed charedi, then it is also fault of the environment that did not nurture her. On the other hand, while geneva is of course present in the society, but it is not considered “normal” and is even prosecuted. So, the person got to have a strong internal drive to follow it.
Also, the ganav pretends to be a “frum” person, while the short-skirted one is obviously not hiding much. Isn’t it why hazer is considered most reprehensible despite having 50% of simanim – pretending to be kosher?
That is as far as my self-psycho-analysis takes me. Any other explanations? Now, please someone explain the other side.