always here

myusername~ jmo, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, AT ALL, to encourage your child to go into your purse. … & trust me, they’ll have no problem, AT ALL, accepting $$ from you!

right now I am looking across my living room straight at an oil painting of the Klausenberger Rebba,zt’l.

kol hakavod for all that he did & his legacy, & not to take anything away from it, but– there are also plenty of ‘regular’ Yidden, too, whose families were wiped out & restarted life with new families, and have been blessed with continuing dorot, Baruch Hashem!

Health~ “immediately challenge her -Where are you going? With whom are you going? Probably way before that time -I’d tell her to go to sleep.”

you’d be saying this before, or as, they’re jumping outta the 2nd floor window to leave the house?

“I don’t understand why most people in the frum community automatically assume if your kid(s) are OTD, they must be doing bad things, eg. drugs, etc.”

most people aren’t assuming it… they know it!

” Maybe these people are just ignorant.” I’m extremely insulted by this comment!! :/

*bangin’ head against the wall*

someone’s ‘certifiable’ around here… is it me?! :-O

we did it in June, B’H.. it was @ the very end & most people were gone.

for the first two weddings we had a mitzva tantz, when my father-in-law was still alive… in ‘the year’ for my mother-in-law, a’h.

for the 3rd wedding we made last year, the machatunim didn’t hold by mitza tantz, & we were so burnt out from the wedding preps that we didn’t mind not having one either; plus, my DH said that his father’s not with us anymore anyhow.

the mezinka was done by all 4 of our children & 4 grandchildren.. they had alot of fun. afterwards, I did a little sweep. it was basically done @ the end of the affair, when a mitza tantz would’ve been done.

I don’t see anything wrong with you having it, but if you choose not to, I’m sure that’ll be fine, too. I can’t imagine, tho’, that your friends would begrudge you doin’ the clean sweep, cuz if they’re in attendance, then they know you’re marrying off your last child & I would hope, would be happy for you.

would it be causing them any more pain then the mere fact that you’re marrying off a child?! .. JMHO

I thank G-D that I & my immediate family have not led sheltered lives, & can practice tolerance.

I think what the bochurim did was unquestionably illegal & I’m sure there was another way to handle this ‘problem’.

10 room apt. on 2 floors, including 2 bathrooms. but we had already cleared out the upstairs 2 bedrooms completely, cuz we were gonna re-model/fix-up but it’s too expensive. so that leaves:

6 rooms plus hallways, 2 staircases, porch, steps, bathrooms.

eclipse~ my younger son is 24 & I’ve been outta MASK maybe 7+ yrs?

you’re younger…

we’re new friends, I hope, but I am always here for you!! that’s a promise!

my daughter told me “Rachel’s”.. but we have no further info on that car svc. –sorry.

drugs were absolutely heavily in the picture with our boys.

please take this in the spirit it is meant: be real… & open to the fact that it’s veryy possible… it usually goes hand in hand. if not drugs, then alcohol.

sorry to say, & hopin’ not in your case, iy’H.

IMHO, Derech’s comments were given as advice, not as a personal attack; same with my comments. I’m just sayin’….

I also was under the impression that children aren’t supposed to attend a parent’s subsequent marriage…. but what do I know?

sorry for all the hurt & challenges you’re having to endure, eclipse 🙁 … {{hugs}}

I don’t know the ages of your girls, but do they ever go hang out at (is it?) ‘the living room’?… the girls’ equivalent to ‘our place’?

and have you joined any of the parental support groups, i.e. MASK?

oy! I don’t wanna havta choose one & make the person(s) I didn’t choose feel bad… secret ballot, please?! 😉

eclipse~ I will share my personal experience.

I have a son & daughter 2 1/2 yrs apart.. then had a 5 yr ‘break’.. then had a another son & another daughter 2 1/2 yrs apart.

both my sons went OTD, then came back, then went OTD again, & then came back again. my sons are now 32 & 24 & remain strongly back, B’H.

part of those yrs, they lived at home.. part of those yrs. they were in yeshivas in Israel. no matter where they were living we strongly, lovingly supported them unconditionally. it was easier for me than for my DH ’cause I’m a BT, & my husband comes from a very strict Chassidishe family.

I belonged to the core group of MASK & found myself not endorsing the majority of the members’ policy of ‘tough love.’ and glad I felt & practiced the way I did, as my sons always knew how much I cared. there were other parents who removed the OTD child from the home because of the fear that the younger children would be badly influenced.

as noted, you can see each son has a sister close in age. my older daughter has always been completely ‘yashar’/straight. she always showed her brothers much love, caring, & tried in the nicest ways to endorse her strong beliefs. my younger daughter is a little more modern observant. altho’ both girls were completely exposed to both their brothers’ actions, I can honestly say that they weren’t affected in their Yiddishkeit by their brothers.

but you also havta understand that my children did not live sheltered ultra-Orthodox lives: they saw movies & tv (altho’ my older daughter chose not to starting in high school); they went on family trips & were exposed to many different types of Jews: in Eugene, OR. & Seattle, WA. for example …… so these circumstances may differ from yours.

I wish you strength & clarity .. & pray for happy endings with your children as I have had with mine.

{{{HUGS}}}

BasYisroel94~ you’ve just been ‘thirded’! 🙂

rebbitzen~ I was in Israel for 4 months, & had only brought enough meds for 2 months. when I saw I was running low, I took them less often, to stretch them out longer. I was on them for probably over 15 years easy.

my brother-in-law, in Israel, was the one who commented the most on how different I am: he said I used to be sorta blabby (talkative) & spacey, but says now he really likes me. 🙂

of course it’s more advisable to go off of them under a doctor’s supervision. g’luck.

I still occasionally get a bit anxious & take a little xanax.. probably not even once a month.

Once in awhile, I get a little down,(not any more ‘blue’ than a regular person), but I deal with it, & it passes.

anon1m0us~ I am hearing you loud & clear on both your points.

#1. My DH & I are tired! B’H, all the children are married; we love having them for Yom Tovim, but we’re now B’H in our ‘golden years’ & it’s harder!.. to clean (altho’ I can’t do much & have hired help), & I do all the cooking myself beforehand so that I don’t havta be exhausted from preparations; the children help make some things, like Pesach lukshen, salads, etc. My daughter’s in-laws are again this year going to a hotel in Florida, so they’re coming to us. My son’s in-laws are in Israel, so they’re coming in from Monsey to us. My other daughter has a family, but lives walking distance; they’ll come for a Seder, iy’H, & we’ll keep a grandson or two for longer. My son & his daughter will be here the first or last days, plus. BUT– I KNOW my children would definitely NOT begrudge my DH & I going away, & I’d go in a heartbeat if it was affordable. B’H, we’ve had many great years together & we’re very close, so it’s not like we wouldn’t have plenty of other times, iy’H, to be together.

#2. My DH is a retired Mashgiach (not by choice, but because companies want to hire @ the lowest pay they can.) He always felt a great achrias for his work. We were able to go to a hotel for Succos years ago & altho’ we didn’t see him all that much because he was so dedicated to his work, it was a fantastic experience. And if you trust the heksher & Rav Hamachshir of the place you’ve chosen to go to, & if other mashgiachim are as machmir as my DH, you should not have to worry about the kashrus. Otherwise, don’t mish.

hey ZeesKite~ have a great day & a great Shabbos!! 🙂

I have been told by many people that I am such a different person, (for the better), since I went off anti-depressant & anti-anxiety meds 2 years ago that I had been on for too many years.

Shrek~ soooooo funny! …… me, too :/

haha! I can’t believe I spent a moment trying to figure out in which state ‘Coffeetown’ is!! (like ‘Beantown’.) LOL 😉

“So I put my kid on her lap!”

am I understanding this correctly: you put your 10 year old daughter on this 65 y.o. woman’s lap?! :-O

LOL, Shrek! 🙂

my husband & I had Nuweiba (beach), south of Eilat, on the coast of the Gulf of Aqaba, all to ourselves… it was gorgeous! too bad it’s part of Egypt now… when we went it was Israel.

my DH & I talk about having to buy plots.

he talks about the yirusha to our children after 120; I say give them stuff now. {I’ve already started recently giving them things).

that’s the extent.

btw, eclipse~ I had a VERY hard (depressed) year at age 41, the age my Mother was when she was niftar.