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real-brisker…
Your logic is very faulty.
You are trying to say that because someone doesn’t, l’ma’aseh, do something, that it is proof that they know it is really wrong to do. You used “APY”s mashal about not eating sushi as a raiya.
Just because someone chooses for themself to not do something (like not eating sushi), does NOT mean it is inherently wrong to do, or that they believe that it is wrong for OTHER people TO do.
I’m sure there are things that YOU do not do. For example, maybe you do not play golf. Does that mean it is asur to play golf? Maybe you don’t travel to South America. Does that mean it is wrong for a Yid to travel to South America? Of course not.
THAT would make zero sense.
You and your chevra do not feel it is appropriate for you to wear jeans. That’s fine, just as it’s fine for you to choose to not play golf or travel to South America. You are entitled to your opinions, BUT that does NOT mean that any of those things are inherently wrong, or that doing them makes one less frum.
real-brisker…
“apy” said he doesn’t eat sushi, but WOULD – MEANING there is nothing wrong with it, and at some point he might change his mind and choose to eat it – likewise for clothing choice.
“yitayningwut” did NOT say he would not wear them, he said due to where he is now, he doesn’t, but under different circumstances he might choose to wear them.
There ARE other valid opinions besides yours. Don’t put YOUR spin on what everyone else says, and don’t judge people’s frumkeit by the material their pants are made from.
Don’t wait!
Do NOT spray!
Do not use boric acid as it IS an acid and is dangerous for kids to touch, – plus it only works IF the roaches happen to go where you put it.
***Go get a tube ( a syringe actually) of roach bait gel. (Most supermarkets, drug stores or Home Depots have it).
This will ATTRACT the roaches to it, since they see it as food.
Put out little dabs or lines of it where you saw the roaches.
The roaches take the bait back to where the mishpacha is hiding and it kills them all. It may take a few days, but it works!
REPEAT: Do not spray insecticide -or even any cleaning sprays (like Fantastik) -near where you put the gel. Would YOU eat a food if it had been sprayed with Fantastik – neither will the roaches.
You can trust me on this one. It WORKS!
“For how long would you keep such a thing a secret during dating?”
Such a thing as WHAT???
If it is a health issue (mental OR physical), I would say 3rd or 4th date – maximum!
L’fi aniyas daati…
There is nothing INHERENTLY wrong with wearing (blue or black) jeans.
The question is, does your style of dress identify you with some particular group or hashkafah?
In some locales it does, in some locales it does not.
The same goes for colored shirts and many other articles of clothing that in SOME places are a reflection of a person’s frumkeit.
People must realize however the situation from BOTH sides.
By that I mean that those who feel that (no jeans) black pants, and white shirt ARE the required look, should realize that a person who does not come from a place or background where that is the norm is not necessarily one bit less frum than you are. They MAY even be MORE frum than you are.
ON THE OTHER HAND, those who DO come from places where jeans, etc. are NOT considered an inappropriate way of dressing for a frum person, must realize that for some frum Yidden, that way of dressing IS considered goyish, and that while it may be perfectly fine in SOME neighborhoods or cities (and have no negative connotation) dressing that way in a place like Boro Park (for example) will cause many people to view you (albeit incorrectly perhaps) as a less than truly frum Yid.
We definitely have some ideas about dress that are not always accurate. Example: In general, in N.Y. a knit kipa is associated with more modern orthodox and/or (the dreaded) Zionist chevra. But, go into Meah She’arim in Yerushalayim and you will see MANY wearing large white knit yarmalkas – and of course they are very far from modern orthodox OR Zionist!
Let’s try to not pre-judge each other or label each other negatively.
Descartes reportedly once remarked to Kant, over some vadka and a large portion of kasha varnishkes, “Many people think they ARE, simply because they THINK they are, but that may all be just an illusion”.
Kant is said to have replied “Can you pass the vodka?”
Thanks to bombmaniac’s original comment, three of the four voices in my head are telling me I may have consumed a worm with the apple I ate at lunch.
Then again the fourth voice is questioning whether I ever really ate that apple at all, or only THINK I ate an apple.
and don’t even get me started on the corn niblet issue…
I do NOT recommend throwing it out for the birds.
The rats may get it first.
The Paris Bakery/Cafe on King George in Ir HaKodesh.
A family run business (of French Jews) with delicious products and a pleasant, accommodating disposition.
One of their freshly baked baguettes with butter and a cafe hafuch is the best breakfast in the world.
I have found the staff in Kosher Palace on Avenue U to be very helpful and courteous.
elik…
Tell the truth, you ARE a teacher in a yeshiva aren’t you?!?!?
Here’s my thought…
Each of us has to do his hishtadlus as far as parnassa,
– then… you daven, learn, be the best Yid you can be, and leave things up to HaSh-m, who is always maiteev, though we don’t always realize it.
Also… buy a lotto ticket every once in a while, to give HaSh-m a way to give you that “lucky break” -should He want to, b’derech ha”teva”, as opposed to a naiys nigla, – which not many of us would be zoche to.
sorry L.D. – should’ve quit after your first game.
People, – his question was about the question of the era, not the movie per se.
mynamesixonethree…
Maybe you should rephrase the question…
Would it be ok to enjoy reading a (clean) novel written in 1939?
The time proven mistakes people make when picking a spouse…
SHE thinks he WILL change after they’re married, but he DOESN’T.
HE thinks she WON’T change after they’re married, but she DOES!
frumladygit…
How about pulling a desk and a chair into an elevator, and sit down behind the desk, facing the door.
The next time the door opens, look up at the person entering and say “Good morning, and whom are you here to see today?”
To all you smokers (and smoker sympathizers) who say it is too hard to stop…
Which is harder:
Stopping smoking
or
Knowing you may not be around for your childrens’ weddings and the births of your grandchildren because of your taiyva?
You’re having too much coffee when…
–You’re asking the Pakistani girl at Dunkin Donuts for her address so you can invite her to your chasuna!
–You start taking Italian lessons so you can order more easily at Starbucks.
Bowow…
I always wondered…
In China, do the people often say “Let’s go out for some Jewish”?
Jack Daniels…
Biting nails IS a disgusting habit, but will NOT kill the person doing it, nor leave their mate a young widow/er, or their children fatherless or motherless. It will also NOT make their car and home STINK or expose their family to harmful chemicals.
Smoking DOES do those things.
To: Cedarhurst…
Any girl who would make that “compromise” should make sure her smoking husband has a big, paid up life insurance policy.
As I once saw on a bumper sticker…
“Smoking is a filthy, disgusting, and selfish thing to do.”
I think that sums it all up pretty well.
Here’s a recipe for it I found on line (it does sound very similar to chulent…)
1 pound Gruenkern (green wheat kernels), rinsed and soaked overnight (see note)
4 pounds of beef ribs
2 beef bones
2 onions, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Preparation
1. Put all the ingredients in a pot and add 12 cups water. Bring to a boil over medium heat, periodically skimming the foam that comes to the top. Reduce heat and simmer 2 hours and 15 minutes.
2. With a slotted spoon, take out the meat and bones and allow them to cool. Meanwhile, skim the fat off the soup. Scoop out any marrow from the bones and return it to the pot.
3. Separate the meat from the bones, discarding fat and gristle. Chop the meat into 1/2-inch cubes and return it to the pot. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
YIELD 8 – 10 servings
–I think you could just stick with your present chulent recipe and just add the wheat kernels (if you think that would enhance the flavor somehow).
cozy apartment = tiny apartment
a fixer-upper = everything is broken
quaint = old
“low mileage” = I have a friend who turned back the mileage
overweight — gravitationally challenged
oomis1105…
YES, I have seen that! It is mamash an AMAZING piece of technology. I saw a man who was in a wheel chair for TWENTY years, use this device to walk, and even go up stairs!
-Pleeeeeease HaSh-m, don’t let Bloomberg raise real estate taxes AGAIN!!!
-Pleeeeeease HaSh-m, don’t let them change the parking meters to a quarter for FIVE minutes!!!
-Pleeeeeease HaSh-m, let the NYPD show up as quickly when there is a crime as they do when my parking meter is expired.
and finally…
-Pleeeeeease HaSh-m, let the sanitation department which has been soooooooo busy NOT cleaning my street, FINALLY come to take my garbage which has NOT been collected since BEFORE XMAS and is now about 3 stories tall on the curb in front of my house!!!!!!!!
Kosherman…
Did not hear either of your rumors.
I liked Essex too (and the ORIGINAL – Bernstein’s On Essex, was the best!).
I was at a sheva brachos at Mendy’s a couple of weeks ago, and the food was excellent.
Bringing noise-suppressing ear plugs is a great idea to drown out not only the crying kids (and the annoying adults) but the incessant droning jet engine noise that can make you CRAZY after a while!
The kind they sell at a gun range are best, but be aware that while bringing the ear plugs on board is fine, for some strange reason they do seem to frown upon bringing guns on the plane.
There is carob spread (from Israel). It tastes delicious – pretty much like the chocolate spread but is healthier – also available sugar-free.
Whatever you wear, make sure it is comfortable enough for you to easily get out of your seat every couple of hours and walk around for a few minutes.
Long plane flights are known to cause blood clots to form in the legs which can cause heart attacks or strokes, and THIS IS NOT ONLY FOR THE ELDERLY OR THOSE WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS.
I recently read of a healthy 28 year old young woman who after a long flight had a stroke!
With the OK of your doctor, you may also want to take a baby aspirin once or twice during the flight (for the same reason).
Yosef Karduner – his voice, his music, his lyrics – touch the neshama.
I realize this can’t work all the time, but, here’s a wild idea…
Most frum families have 4 or more (often MANY more) kids.
Why not at least try, when the ages work out, of course, for brothers and sisters to make shidduchim for their siblings with their friends! They know the true matzav of their friends, i.e. what kind of people they are, and of course, they also know what their siblings are really like (and what they really want) as well.
I realize the ages may not always work out, and the personalities may not always work out, but this me’halaich should be the first method tried. This way everybody knows the truth about they’re getting, and parents could save $$$ on shadchanus.
What do you see yourself doing in 10 years from now?
L.D. —
There ARE yeshivas in E.Y. that do NOT provide the proper supervision, just as as there are yeshivas HERE that do not provide the proper supervision.
There ARE ALSO yeshivas in E.Y. that DO provide the proper supervision, and it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure to find the proper yeshiva.
As far as terrorism, – in case you haven’t noticed (9/11, the attempted bombing of Riverdale shul, etc.) there IS terrorism HERE, and HaSh-m can protect you, or, chalila, the opposite, where EVER you are.
As far as Torah learning goes, there is no Torah like Toras Eretz Yisrael, – PERIOD.
As far as the expense goes, most yeshivas WILL work with you (to a VERY significant degree) if you have financial issues.
Just make sure to tell both sets of parents AT THE SAME TIME!!!
That’s why HaSh-m gave EACH of you your own cell phone!!!
“if there would be a jew who ran for president who shared all your beliefs and principles regarding politics would you vote for him or would you not vote for him?”
There is an inherent stira in this question.
No Jew who shares my beliefs would ever run for president.
As the Kli Yakir discusses, Yidden in galus (while being good citizens) should maintain a low profile.
The last thing they should be doing is running for president.
Health…
Just a thought…
Being that it sounds like you are very aware of the mistakes you made in the past, I would guess that it is unlikely you would make THOSE mistakes again.
In the future, when considering someone new, be careful that as you are ruling out in the new person the traits that caused problems in the past, (in your joy at NOT finding them) don’t overlook possible different issues in the new person that did not exist in your first mate.
It would be my guess that it might be doing that, that causes the divorce-remarry-divorce-remarry scenario you described.
When I said (above) “at least 6 months”, I was not saying that on the basis of halacha (which others have already addressed), but on the basis of the emotional/psychological baggage that the person is carrying.
I think a person who has been (obviously UNhappily) married for a period of time needs a while to re-adjust to seeing themselves as a seperate individual before becoming, again, “basar echad” with someone else.
Wolf –
These are not silly questions.
Every letter and every nekuda in (or NOT in) the Torah is there (or is chasair) for a reason.
I hope some wise reader out there can answer your queries.
PRE-paying???
You gotta be kidding!
How about POST-dating the check!?!
With all due respect to hard working, honest shadchanim, how about the many who do NOT give accurate information, who intentionally omit important information, and who even LIE because all they care about is being able to say they made the shidduch, AND, of course, getting the shaddchanus.
How often are things discovered about a chasan or kallah AFTER the chasuna that SHOULD have been told to parents, and that the shadchan DID KNOW, or SHOULD HAVE known.
So, here’s something to think about…
If a marriage quickly dissolves because of the shadchan’s “malpractice”, should the shadchan have any liability for all the emotional (and financial) damage?!?
Now, being realistic, I know that will never happen, but – even injury lawyers do not get payed unless and until they win the case for you.
L’fi aniyas da’ati…
AT LEAST 6 months.
And that would apply (not only) even IF you knew a potential someone from when you were married,
BUT –
ESPECIALLY if you knew a potential someone from when you were married.
Do we really HAVE TO find another (unimportant) thing to raise machlokes about?!?!?
Rav Amnon Yitzchak quoted this famous line of Rabi Akiva to give the credit to HIS wife for all the ba’alai teshuva created through the countless hours and days and weeks and months and years he has devoted to this task.
artchill —
Never heard of asking for 100K before the first DATE,
but have heard of 50K before the CHASUNA.
Personally, my answer would be “See Ya, hatzlacha, have a nice life…” Even if I had that kind of $$$, the idea of that level of ego, of chutzpah, would immediately tell me this person is NOT for my daughter, not what I want to be the father of my grandchildren!
MY question is…
How many “kollel couples” are really willing to live with the misiras nefesh to REALLY BE a kollel couple???
I knew REAL kollel families in Yerushalayim that shared 1/2 a chicken for Shabbas (and chicken was ONLY for Shabbas!), dressed in clothes from gemachs, with furniture from gemachs, etc., etc., etc. AND – they were OK with living that way because they were fully prepared to be mosair nefesh to have the full-time learning life.
Here, most “kollel couples” want to live the life style of working couples, on the cheshbon of parents. Parents who are getting older and would like to work LESS, but have to work MORE, because otherwise they are looked down at, as people who are not “machsheev Torah”.
OK, I’m going to stop here because I feel my blood pressure rising…
This is a question that one must answer on a DAILY basis.
It is, l’havdil, like paying taxes.
If one has a business, earns good money, but doesn’t pay his taxes the whole year, when April 15th comes around, he’s in BIG trouble. If he pays his quarterly taxes throughout the year, he should be in pretty good shape.
Likewise, if one makes a cheshbon ha’nefesh on a daily basis, an assessment of what he’s been doing, does teshuva for what he needs to do teshuva for, i.e. cleans his slate, so to speak, then when Yom Kippur comes around, he should be in reasonably, manageably, decent shape. If not…
People should realize that while it’s nice chashuv ancestors, and thus have yichus that you came FROM,
it is infinitely MORE important that YOUR great grandchildren will be able to look back and consider that they have yichus because they came from YOU!
Remember YOU will be judged NOT by the greatness of your grandPARENTS, but by the greatness of your grandCHILDREN.
Health…
NOW you have hit the nail on the head.
The problem is “the liberal criminal laws” and the liberal judges who (don’t) enforce them.
Criminals involved in gun violence are given way too light of a sentence, IF they are sentenced at all (and not gotten off completely by some ACLU lawyer).
We do not need more gun laws.
We DO need the criminal laws we have TO BE ENFORCED.
Trying my best…
This happened in PENNSYLVANIA, – NOT NYC.
Health…
No one is “planning on using the gun”. A normal law-abiding citizen would only use the gun if someone is threatening his life ALREADY.
I think perhaps you should wear a bullet proof vest DAVKA because you do NOT carry a gun, and have no defense at all if someone pulls a gun on you.
BTW… A person who has a carry permit KNOWS that if, chas v’shalom he had to use his gun to defend himself, and police arrived on the scene, the first thing to do is put his gun on the ground and hands in the air – until the matzav is clarified as to who is the “good guy” and who is the “bad guy”. After that, the gun is generally taken by police until an investigation confirms it was a “good shoot”, i.e justified shooting, and then the gun is returned to the owner.
My advice, for MANY reasons, ALL of them for YOUR good, – Stay in Israel!
Just as a point of interest, to show the different ways of thinking in different (even close-by) areas of the country…
Here in crazy NYC it is almost impossible to get a carry permit (i.e. a permit that allows carrying a handgun on your person out in the street) unless you can prove over a period of time that you carry LARGE amounts of cash or jewelry on a daily basis. This must be carefully verified.
A friend of mine moved from here to Pennsylvania, and wanted to get a carry permit there. He went to his local police station for a required interview to get the permit. The police officer asked him “Why do you want a carry permit?” He thought for a moment about what would be the “right” answer to give the cop. He simply told the truth and said “For self-defense.”
The cop said “That sounds like a good reason to ME!” and approved the permit.
There’s a big sign by the side of the highway at the border with PA that says “Welcome to Pennsylvania, America Starts Here!”
It’s very true!!!