adams

Alot of times I see kids off the derech in the sense that they come into the Kosher store where I work with out a Yarmulka not even a cap.

The parents I know are very active in the SHule and community.

So in this case, the parents know. But I am upset by my attitude.

I say to myself what is the big deal to wear baseball hat, they davka want everyone to know.

As a parent, what with the struggles to pay their tuitions as well as all else, it seems very snotty and ingrateful that they can’t even wear a cap.

But why do I have this holier than thou attitude? Let’s say I am even right that they are rotten kids, what gives me the right to be so judgemental?

I am feeling the same as you. I try to go to a Shiur before Mincha on Shabbos and then stay for Mincha. Sometimes I can go on Friday night. I have a hard time going Shabbos morning.

I don’t actually think there is something so wrong with this. I have personal reasons why I don’t like going to a Shule. I feel better not going than if I go.

I am open to this changing in the future but why should i force myself to be in a place where i am very unhappy?

addiction would be if someone loses their job because they stayed home to be on the internet (this has happened). A recovering drug addict started playing video games to that extent.

so anything like that is an addiction where you put off doing more important things you have to do, in order to go on whatever site it is.

600KB, you are real New Yorker, I haven’t heard SY term in decades.

But we are told in this post earlier that many of these girls will NOT marry. Those are whom I refer to.

It may not work for ALL cases but surely one girl is worth it.

Speaking for myself, I have been on and off the derech many times in my life. TO be honest while I was at one time very highse about Yiddishkeit, and very medakdaik, i am not more tradtional. Shabbos is still Shabbos, but i have lost a lot of the passion. ( it comes out through my music though).

I dont’ think it’s that big a deal ( maybe Hashem feels differently but this is not for us to discuss)

In the final analysis, the best thing that ever happened to me was marrying and having children. I have ups and downs in the career, friends come and go, I have travelled the world. nothing compares to my wife and children.

Let the girls go and marry a less frum person. So the conversation wont be bout Halacha or the Parsha at the table.

If you are saying she should remain singel her whole life rather than marryuing a nice guy whoi is not so Fiebrent about Yiddiskeit it’s no contest, take the marriage thay you can.

The only real answer for those girls in late 20’s-early 30’s is to marry someone less frum. It is better than nothing.

They have to agree in Chinuch, Shabbos, Kashrus. There has to be compromise of some kind. But isn’t it better to have children?

I got sick when invited to a wedding recently of 31 yo bochur and 23 yo girl. I wasn’t geshmacked to be there.

One of the best things about Facebook is the ease to find old friends.

More than a year ago, I located an old friend, having not seen in over 20 years.

I was at that time having a work problem and he alerted me to a contact of his that had the exact experience to help me and thus saved my job. I was stuck in a project and had passed the dealine already.

So while it is true, that it can be a time waster, it also has been very beneficial to me.

One way to avoid wasting time, is to not post that much of your own inyanim. This will cut down alot.

I was brought there as a teenager, and I missed several things initially.

Friends, activities, being able to function as a student.

There were others but less relevant now what with the internet.

I stayed from teenage years to late 20’s. Always I was not happy there but that is because of the progression, not doing well in school, not graduation from college, delaying the army, etc. I was not having any luck with Shiduchim either. I wasn’t American enough for the Americans, nor Israeli enough etc. Although I may have suffered from lack of image etc.

However, now that I have been back in America over 25 years, I would like to go back however I would need to ensure the job situation.

I also think, that the society is a very nervous one in many respects. Although you have great people there, there are also not so great. I know because I visit every year.

I would need an income that would allow me to leave for a break every few months, to Europe, probably. I don’t need to come back to America any more.

The life there can be very stressful.

So at this point, to be honest barring a financial miracle, I will wait till I retire.

Also my wife refuses to consider the idea so that will be a problem as well.

The reasons most don’t move I think is that they feel very much at home in the society they are in.