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1. goyim
2. assignments do Shabbos night
3. 2 finals on the same day on Friday
4. running home to get home on time for Shabbos
anyone else? sorry im just getting upset because have so much do tomorrow and shabbos starts early!!
I not sure I understand this and I went to Touro a long time ago.
1. Goyim Many Goyim attend Touro they just may not be in your class or division.
2. Assignments due on Shabbos night. This can be resolved by not waiting to the last minute to submit your assignments. Speak to the Dean of students and or EEO as this maybe a civil right violation.
3. 2 finals on the same Friday- You are suppose to have studied the work prior to the day of the test.
4. Running home to get home prior to Shabbos- You signed up for the course and know how much time you needed to get home.
I will admit that it was easier to daven Mariv at Touro then it was at CUNY but then I only went to college at night during the day I was in Bais Medrash.
The reason for not using a blender is that the the blender may liquefy it. When you make a blessing on a class of food it is assumed that all of that type of food is included. So if you made a blessing on vegetables for the appetizer and then had potatoes in the main course, if you said another blessing it would be in vain.
The prohibition to eat before feeding one’s animal is only eating a full meal, so you could make a blessing and taste a bit of food prior to feeding the animal.
“Also the state can confiscate the business and sell the business to pay past and future child support.”
If the State knows about the business!”
The state knows about the business from past year tax return and social security number, this is how law enforcement tracks people down. Even if the state didn’t know the wife whose looking for child support would tell them.
“Do you really think all Dead – Beat Dads have to leave the State that they live in?
There are millions of Dead – Beat Dads and most stay where they are!”
Most are unemployed, collect welfare or work off the books.
So he keeps it in the safe!
After a while he will need a larger safe and holding millions of dollars. Operating a business like this is very difficult without a bank, getting change for the cashier each day or cashing checks and accepting credit cards are hard without a bank account.
Oops rewind please: I pray that Hashem’s Will is my will.
I pray that that my family, including all of my children and in-laws never are tempted to do anything that will cause their spouse to contemplate a divorce.
All grocery stores have a lot of cash. It’s called a cash register!
While they have that days cash receipts at the end of the day it goes into the safe and deposited the following day. The deadbeat doesn’t have a bank account. Also the state can confiscate the business and sell the business to pay past and future child support.
Okay. How does he own one of these businesses when his licenses to operate either of these businesses are suspended. If caught operating with a suspended license he will be closed down and fined.”
Many people own businesses without licenses.
Until they have an unhappy customer who reports them to the government. Basically they are running a cash business off the radar, taking small jobs that big contractors don’t want, and at the most grossing $25,000-$50,000 assuming he is in demand and netting $15,000-35,000.00. They don’t realize that in a few years they will owe tens of thousands of dollars which they can’t pay. They can’t get a job and have a normal live. The same state that is hounding him for child support is providing his health insurance and probably welfare benefits and this is how he will sustain himself for the rest of his live. He can never own a house or save for retirement.
Abba_S -“But please explain how he can open a grocery store which is licensed by either the state, city or county if state law mandates the suspension all government licenses for deadbeats.”
I didn’t say Open, but owns one!
Okay. How does he own one of these businesses when his licenses to operate either of these businesses are suspended. If caught operating with a suspended license he will be closed down and fined.
“How does he pay suppliers, landlord and staff without bank accounts.”
Easy; credit cards, money orders.
This would be very expensive and time consuming making it unprofitable. Because of the large amount of money involved money laundering maybe suspected. Also he will have to keep large sums of cash on hand making him a prime target for robbery.
“How does he go to repair jobs if his drivers license is suspended”
Hires a driver. Takes car services, taxis, buses.
This cuts into the number of jobs he can take and is an added expense making the business less profitable.
“I can tell you with absolute certainty that children DO NOT benefit from a couple staying together”
While it’s better that the children grow up in a peaceful environment, is it better that they be raised in a quarreling environment with a higher standard of living or one with a lower standard of living and possibly in foster care but peaceful.
How did these arguments start? Someone said something that offended the other and the other responded with something that offended the first person.Tactics such as verbal judo can defuse
the situation. Likewise reminding them how much they loved each other when they were first married may help save the marriage.
Almost every marriage can be saved if help is sought early enough. It maybe hard to realize they have a problem until it’s a full blown drawn out argument . By which time they are fighting without really having a reason. Like the Hatfields and the McCoys.
“What – you just can’t admit that I’m right?!?
Let’s say he owns a grocery store – the customers don’t file 1099’s.
Let’s say he does appliance repair – the customers don’t file 1099’s!”
OKAY YOU ARE RIGHT. But please explain how he can open a grocery store which is licensed by either the state, city or county if state law mandates the suspension all government licenses for deadbeats. How does he pay suppliers, landlord and staff without bank accounts. The same applies to an appliance repair business which must be licensed by the New York City or the county at least for Long Island. How does he go to repair jobs if his drivers license is suspended.
An easier way is to move to Canada and the deadbeat can earn a normal living. But he still has to live in fear of the State tracking down. There was a case in Israel and they tracked him to Texas and sued him and the US and Canada has a closer relationship.
Even in the same State – if you’re self-employed – there is no garnishment!
If he is self employed that means he is getting 1099s which is reported to the state and the IRS.Any entity that paid anyone over $1,000.00 per year must file a 1099 with the IRS and the state. Any bank account must have a social security number attached to it which is reported to the IRS & state. Many businesses wouldn’t deal with anyone with bad credit and no bank account. The state will go after whoever is paying the deadbeat as if they were the employer. So unless he is in a field that doesn’t have repeat customers they are going to collect by either taking it from the bank account or from one of the customers just like a garnishment.
The difference is that all of those who submitted 1099 will get a letter of garnishments saying that he owes the state $xx.00 in child support and requiring them not to pay him until the outstanding balance is paid.
Health: “I think that the other posters are referring to psychological abuse, not just physical abuse!
That’s where your confusion is.”
I grew up when most of the men had numbers on their arm, they were abused. Having someone speak to you disrespectful is not abuse. If you realize that you are a Holy Jewish Soul and Hashem will judge them in the next world, it shouldn’t bother you. In fact the Talmud says that there are three types of people who will not have to go to Guhenum (hell) one of which is one who had an evil wife. This would apply also to one who had an evil husband. So is divorce worth it, having the verbal tantrum which are usually for just a few minutes or going through hell for 24 hours a day for six days a week for 11 months. The choice is yours.
I believe Lavender lives in Israel. I don’t know what the laws are here. I would imagine that there are always ways to get around it though. I know men in the US who didn’t pay child support, but that was years ago, and maybe things were different then.
The old days of getting away with being a Deadbeat Dad-Mom are gone at least in New York State. Their licenses are suspended and the state is coming after them and collecting child support. Miss one payment and they will garnish all future payments from your paycheck. Getting a job outside of the state doesn’t help because your employer must check your social security number to verify you are legal, informing the IRS who inform the state who then garnish the child support from your paycheck. Being caught driving with a suspended license will result in them being arrested and requiring someone to come down and drive their car from the police station.
I don’t know where the OP is currently living nor do I know the ages of the children. I believe Israel has similar laws and what is happening is they flee the country, sometimes coming to the US. In Israel the ex has to hire a lawyer or use Legal Aid to collect which isn’t as effective.
Why is it needed to discus the divorce. It’s highly unlikely she will ever find out the truth, the husband will blame the wife and the ex will blame her husband. I already said that on the fourth date she should ask about the children and while discussing the children the divorce might come up. If she doesn’t ask to meet then children on the fourth date then when? Remember he probably doesn’t have custody so it may not be easy to arrange the meeting with the children.
If people were armed with extremely impregnated mosquitos, pro-NRA Americans would surely reconsider.
Besides created a health problem, this can be defeated with bug repellent.
There are laws restricting what can be carried in public such as the size of the blade and how fast a knife can be opened. If you need to create a mace take the ends off a can and punch tack through it. Then attach them with the points sticking out to a stick and you have an effective weapon.
“I think a fourth date is way too early to be meeting his kids,”
I just asked that on the fourth date you (Lavender) ask if you can meet the children. If your boyfriend picks up his cell phone and calls his ex and she allows you to come over immediately. You know he is on very good terms with his ex. What is more likely is that you will meet them the next time he has custody of them.
While the boyfriend’s decision to remarry is up to him, Lavender’s decision needs to take into consideration the following factors:
A)Child Support & Alimony- Before agreeing to marry him you must know how much he owes not only for this but for any other debts he may have. As even with your income the family maybe forced into bankruptcy and you will be obligated to pay whatever the court ordered even after your divorced. So you need to resolve this before consider marriage.
B) Children & Ex-wife- Having a good relationship should you marry him, is a deal breaker as they can make your life a living hell. Even starting off on good terms as the kids become tanagers they will become more difficult to raise. The ex can be an ally or your worst enemy and as long as she has custody of his kids she will remain connected to the family.
Failure to resolve these factors before deciding to marry is a recipe for disaster.
Claims of abuse in my opinion are usually false. In today’s day an age anytime abuse is suspected the medical provider must report it and both social services and the police investigate the claim. If police are called and they see bruising in NYC and I think in most major cities, they are required to arrest the spouse even if the victim doesn’t want to press charges. Failure for the medical provider to report it can result in the loss of the medical provider’s license to practice. Likewise a Police Officer who fails to arrest an abuser can be lose his job.
Before you claim someone is abusive check whether in your jurisdiction, do medical providers have to report suspected abuse and if the police arrest the abusing spouse. If they do then unless you have seen these reports you are defaming them and probably guilty of Motzie Shem Ra.
The fact that you have a Heter to accept Loshon HoRa-Motzie Shem Ra this is so that you can avoid an abusive relationship but doesn’t allow you to tell anyone else. Telling someone else may result in you being guilty of Rachelos, Loshon HoRa or Motzie Shem Ra besides possibly embarrassing someone. Is it worth it?
“May the holy portals be cleared for all the brachot to come through please Hashem”
Of cause Hashem’s blessings will come through as he controls the gatekeepers. The question is, us common folk will our prayers make it through the heavenly gates to Hashem.
Wishing everyone a Good Shabbos.
“When I check out divorced guys, I usually try to ask if he pays child support. You don’t want to marry a guy who doesn’t pay child support!”
Here in New York, HRA the Social Service Agency will collect child support for a nominal fee, if you are not on a government program, otherwise it’s free, hunting them down and collecting the child support. I think most states have similar programs, it gets a lot of people off government programs and saves the taxpayers millions of dollars a year. It’s usually garnished off the payroll check so not paying child support is not an option unless they are paid in cash (off the books). So unless the dead beat dad lives and work outside of the US he will be paying child support. Likewise, he can’t avoid child support payment just because he wasn’t granted visitation rights that he was entitled to.
Lavender – You need to see how your boyfriend interact with his children and their mother. This will show his true feelings rather then try to find out who was at fault. You need to meet the children in order to know if they will accept you or consider you to be the evil stepmother. You will also need to have a good relationship with the ex wife as she can make your boyfriend’s life and if you marry him you life as well, a living hell, as long as she has custody of his kids.
I don’t mean to scare you away from this relationship, I just am telling you things you should be aware of before committing to this relationship. May you find your true love and build a true house in Israel.
Lenny the reason I told you to go to the Rabbi from Bais HoRa is that both you and your wife have experience with him and he is a good mediator as he got your wife to go to counseling. The $50,000-$75,000 is a one time payment for the Kesobah (marriage contract).Splitting assets 50-50 is how the Civil Court does it. But if you both agree on financial matters, custody and child support as long as it’s reasonable the Civil Court Judge will sign off on it.
Your wife needs your consent for the Get. You need her consent in the custody and financial matters. If an agreement is made, you need to authorize a Get, which is to be put in escrow until after a civil court divorce is approved according to the term agreed. Give the get before the civil divorce is finalized and your wife can ask the judge for a 50-50 split alimony and child support at higher levels then agreed upon.
I would start by asking him about his relationship with his kids. Once he starts talking about them eventually the ex-wife who has custody of them will come up. You have to realize that as long as she has custody of his children there will be a relationship with her and he will be going over there. You need to know how much is his alimony and child support because most of his income will be going toward that and you may end up supporting him. As to what caused the divorce he will blame it on her and the ex will blame it on him and the truth maybe some where in between.
147- You do realize I was referring to the mother not the embryo.
lilmod ulelamaid – There was a guy who was redt to me whose wife divorced him while she was expecting her ninth kid. When I looked into it, I found out that he had been physically abusive. I was like, oh yeah, that makes sense, why else would someone get divorced while expecting their ninth?
I was referring to girls in the low twenties who were divorced in the first year of marriage, not their ninth pregnancy.
Was this man abusive? Did you actually see him do it? Is it Motzie Shem Ra? On another thread you said that as long as you aren’t 100% sure, it’s Motzie Shem Ra as long as one party knows. It is possible that you are getting this information from the ex-wife or her friends and the allegation is without merit.
When comparing the Frum divorce rate to the non-Jewish rate it’s minuscule. Over 50% of non Jewish marriages end in divorce. This doesn’t take into consideration the thousands of couples that don’t even get married.
As to why the divorce rate is increasing this is due to the fact we are accustom to instant gratification and when we don’t get it we discard the item. I get to see a lot of Shidduch resumes and see a trend of couples getting divorced during pregnancy. These children will grow up never really having a relationship with their father. While there is a requirement for driver education there is no requirement for marriage education. The only education given is in regard to ritual (family) purity with no training on conflict resolution.
Lenny I am advising you not to reveal the marriage counselor until you have finished using him. As far as waiting to X-mas to approach Rabbi Cohen my point was that you have to go down there and try to meet him in person and I was using those days as they are not work days. You could go any day but you would be missing a day of work.
If the marriage counselor therapy fails which is quiet likely then go back to the Rabbi in Bais Hora. Tell him you are thinking of giving your wife a get but you would like to know in advance what it’s going to cost you and what the custody arrangement is going to be. According to Jewish Law the wife is only entitled to the Ketubah which is somewhere between $50,000 to $75,000. Your wife will have to explain how is she going to be able to support herself and your children and maintain the same standard of living. She may come to the realization that the marriage wasn’t so bad. If this doesn’t convince her to remain with you, you can ask for a six month trial separation, but only do this once the financial and custody have been resolved. Perhaps living alone will convince her that she needs you. Otherwise I think you both need to get divorced. If you do not get divorced your wife may make your life a living hell. You are young enough that you can remarry and have a new family. If you stay to the bitter end it will cost you both financially and psychologically.
I agree with what you are trying to do and will back you in this forum no matter what you do. May Hashem give you the strength and understanding to overcome this.
“This why Bais Din would be stupid to authorize it as they gain nothing by authorizing it but can lose fined so severely that they loose everything they own.”
If they rule that way, then it is not stupid. If it’s stupid, then they don’t rule that way.”
While it’s important to rebuke someone for his transgressions it is equally important not to do it in an embarrassing way. So for the Bais Din to sanction embarrassing the husband not only wouldn’t help the situation but may cause additional problems such as them being fined by civil court besides any punishment in the world to come.
Lenny please DO NOT GIVE OUT THE THERAPIST’S NAME this is personal information. I am sorry for using upper case but I think this personal information which shouldn’t be broadcasted over a public forum.
I am sorry you are having trouble speaking to Rabbi Simcha B. Cohen. He is a very busy man as he is a rabbi of a shul, an author and a public speaker. I do not know him personal but have heard of him. On a day like X-mas or New Years go to his shul he will probably be giving lectures for the public and approach him afterwards. Saying something like this. If Rabbi Avigdor Miller was alive, ( his wife’s grandfather) you would have been asking him. If Shmuel Elchonon Brog (his father-in-law) was alive you would seek his counsel, unfortunately they are both no longer here so you are wondering if the Rabbi would give me some sagely advise.
May Hashem grant you strength and understanding to overcome this situation. Wishing you the best.
“Abba_S: Sorry the world won’t stop spinning for you”
I always thought the earth rotated and the world was stationary.
How do you know that the world/earth wouldn’t stop for me? It stopped in the time of Joshua when time stopped for him. Not that I am holy enough for Hashem to do it for me but it could happen. Or it could be that you are holier then me and your prayers are overriding mine.
The Bais Din may rule that the husband has to give a get but I don’t believe the Bais Din authorizes embarrassing him. The story of Bar Kamtza shows that Hashem punishes the Jewish People even for the embarrassment of an Evil Man such as Bar Kamtza.
What is happening is that zealots take the ruling as a license to embarrass the husband and in some cases resulting in the husband fleeing the jurisdiction making it more difficult to collect alimony and child support besides making it harder to get him to give a get. Even if he doesn’t flee he can sue in Civil Court the ex-wife, Bais Din and the people defaming him at least here in the US. This why Bais Din would be stupid to authorize it as they gain nothing by authorizing it but can lose fined so severely that they loose everything they own.
“That would only apply if he embarrasses someone when he is not allowed to (which is most of the time). If it’s a situation in which he is halachically required to, it would not apply. I believe there are situations in which a Beis Din may be required to embarrass someone publicly.”
I believe you should never embarrass someone without a constructive purpose. My proof is Bar Kamtza, an evil man, who was embarrassed at a party attended by the leading Rabbis of that time (who had greater minds then anyone in the coffee room) and resulted in the destruction of the second Temple. According to you the destruction should have been caused by something else.( Note there were other factors but Bar Kamtza was one of the main factors)
There is a big difference between Bais Din punishing someone and the person being embarrassed. There the intention was to punish the person not embarrass him. In this case they are trying to embarrass him as pressure to give a Get. Also is this social pressure sanctioned by Bais Din? Also at least here in the USA there is no obligation to follow one Bais Din so the husband can claim he is following a different Bais Din resulting in embarrassing an innocent man.
I am not saying it’s 100% prohibited to use social pressure in this case. What I am saying is that it’s a minefield, as you can lose your portion in the next world and should be avoided.
While in most shuls learning is done prior to morning prayers (Sacharis) this is due to the fact that many have to go to work right away. In yeshivas and Bais Medrash it is common to learn Mussar right after prayers (Sacharis) and that is when and what the Rabbi was doing. Now a days Rabbis don’t wear Talis & Teffillin all day.
Stop I want to get off
Most Chasanahs are held at night. Is your question the night before or the night after. Say the Yahziet is Monday then you can’t partake in the meal if it’s Sunday night but you can go to the Chuppah. If it’s Monday night it’s the next day and it is even permissible to attend the meal also RA”mah Yoreh Deah 391:3
I don’t know of one case where social pressure caused a husband to give a Get. The only thing that is accomplished is that the husband has been embarrassed. It should be noted that the second Bais HaMekdash was destroyed because Bar Kamtza was embarrassed even though he was an evil man. It should also be noted that one who embarrasses his fellow Jew loses his portion in the next world.
Informing an employer may get you sued for defamation of character. I know of a Bais Din that has been sued for issuing a Siruv. You do realize that the husband can go back to civil court and ask that his alimony and child support be reduced as the wife’s agents are trying to get him fired.
“I’m tired of arguing with you! It would take only few hours to train the soldiers. It’s not really dangerous as long as there’s a professional in charge. They don’t have to be close to the fire to make a fire line. Aircraft won’t work because of the wind!”
The IDF is warned about going into Arab villages yet every once and a while they have to rescue soldiers who wandered in. As far as training them in a few hours they are not going to pay attention claiming it’s not their job. So unless you have professional firefighter supervisor for every 10 soldiers watching over his squad a lot of soldiers are going to get hurt. As far as being far from the fire, the fires move rapidly when driven by winds. As far as the aircraft wouldn’t work , on Friday they brought a supertanker to drop water on the fires putting out fires according to Vois Iz Nieas.
This is a repeat of the Mt. Carmel Fire, the lessons weren’t learnt. I think it a sign that the Jewish People has to do do teshuvah, perhaps we can start with reducing Loshan Horah and in turn Hashem will fight these fires for us.
`What I think ED means is that the Bais Din will not grant her request for a Get, not that the Torah does allow the wife to ask for a Get.
“If ED has a source for his strange din, then Rabbis cant decide against the Shu”A.” This is not so, for example in Orach Chaim 55:6 the Shul”A states that someone sleeping is counted towards a minyan. The Taz argues and says he is not counted and the PM”G and others hold that you can only rely on the one sleeper in an emergency so Rabbis do argue on the Shu”A.
As far as using violence against a Get Refuser besides it being illegal (at least here in the USA)and can have severe consequences. The husband could end up dead and everyone involved including the wife ends up in jail. Or the husband can fight back wounding and or killing some of his attackers. You also run the risk of losing alimony, child support and custody of the children if the ex-wife had anything to do with it.
Also a forced Get isn’t valid according to Jewish Law so I am not sure what is gained by beating the husband up. Even if the forced Get was approved by the rabbis, unless they want to publicly admit to violating the husband’s civil rights and subjugating themselves to both criminal and civil penalties, the husband can claim the get was forced invalidating the Get.
Many boys like girls who are not thin, the problem maybe their mother. That being said depending on how overweight you are there maybe health problems. I am assuming that you are not currently dating and the person advising you is just trying to get you to lose weight.
You are not a Get Refuser unless Bais Din orders you to and you refuse. The Talmud says that a Bad wife is more bitter than death. This maybe why the Rabbi advised you to divorce. Don’t do anything without thinking it through a few times as you are under a lot of stress.
You need to rethink why you want to remain married when your wife wants a divorce. Take a paper and pencil and every day for a week or longer, write a different reason why you think marriage is a better solution. You should also think about what life will be like after divorce? After the week review these reasons. This way you can respond to a marriage counselor or civil court judge if they ask you why you want to continue the marriage even though your wife wants a divorce.
Pray to Hashem that he grant you the strength and understanding to pass this test. Wishing you the best.
Using untrained soldiers is a recipe for disaster, even trained firefighter can be killed if the wind shifts. How many Jewish soldiers will have to die until you see the futility of it.
As far as water dropped from air craft not putting out fires. This is due to the fact that the volume of water dropped is minimal and then the plane has to land to get more water. My idea is to have the planes scoop up the water while flying a foot or two above the Mediterranean. Then have air controller vector them to the fire to insure they drop it for maximum effect and don’t crash into one another. This way there will be a constant flow of air craft dropping water on the fire. While having air craft scoop water while flying is not new the idea of having the planes follow one after the other and drop and scoop water has never been done.
I am not a know it all but please explain why this isn’t feasible?
This concept is used by bomber with aircraft rearmed and refueled in minutes and sent back on another sortie.
But I am an expert in a few things, and one of them is fire safety.
Use bulldozers and shovels and make fire lines! Make sure that the line is big enough so the fire can’t jump over!
This is the first time you refereed to using bulldozer to to make a fire line before that you wanted them to do it with shovels. The width of the fire line is dependent on how high the forest fire is. I don’t understand all you need is a few bulldozers not a bunch of soldiers with shovels.
“Rather have the air force drop rubber bladder full of water on the fires They can also reconfigure the Hercules air plane so that they can suck up water while flying just a few feet above the Mediterranean and then dump it on the fire.”
They are already doing that and got other countries to pitch in.
It’s not enough!
During the Cold War when Russia blockaded Berlin the US had planes landing one after the other. With ground control and maximum usage they could have air craft constantly dropping water both in front of the fire and on the fire.They can have these planes refuel and reloaded with water midair which I doubt they are doing, which in turn reduces the amount of water dropped on the fire and is why the fire is not out.
They can also have the air force dump sand on the fires using transport air craft.”
Sounds like a novel idea, but I doubt it would work!
The concept is to deny the fire oxygen. This can also be accomplished by using explosives. Another solution maybe to create a wind by using giant fans so that the fire is blown back in the forest which was already burnt and the fire goes out because of the lack of fuel.
The Israelis didn’t learn from the Mount Carmel fire in 2010 and prepare for this. Now I think the Arabs are using arson to drive the Jews out.
I think you marriage is salvageable and take Enough Divorcess’ advise and call Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen. He is a rabbi in Lakewood NJ and ask him for a referral to a good marriage counselor. You need a second opinion the Rabbi in Lakewood that you spoke to is a specialist in Jewish Law but a generalist when it come to Sholom Bias, family relationship, you now need a Sholom Bias specialist.
The reason I think your marriage is salvageable is because even though your wife has been complaining for years she has never taken the final step of trying to divorce you so with the right counselor your marriage could be saved. Is you family worth it? Call him for a referral. Wishing you the best, no matter what you do.
I think it would be a waste of manpower to call the IDF up to fight forest fires with a shovel unless they are trained to do it. Rather have the air force drop rubber bladder full of water on the fires They can also reconfigure the Hercules air plane so that they can suck up water while flying just a few feet above the Mediterranean and then dump it on the fire. They can also have the air force dump sand on the fires using transport air craft.
I am not a expert in either fighting fires or fighting wars but this seems to be a simple solution to this problem.
I am happy that you’re getting help resolving your marital problems and I agree with the rabbi that it’s futile to remain in a marriage if your wife wants a divorce. Saying that there reason you want to stay married is because of the reason listed in this thread, is like when my kids did something and I ask why did they do it They reply because everyone says it’s okay and I say if everyone jumped off the roof should you do it too. That is why the rabbi is telling you to forget about what anyone is saying. If you had said that the reason you want to stay in the marriage is for the kids or for financial reason I think he would be more accommodating.
Your wife was prepared with a written list of her grievances. You need to be prepared for example, when you meet the marriage counselor you may want to bring up your concerns concerning the children and finances. You need to be prepared so you will need to consult with a divorce lawyer and financial planer. They will help you make your case as to why divorce is not the best option. I also think that once you both decide to divorce you need to explain it to the children before the get is given.
Wishing you the best, it’s your choice, but I think your better off moving on with your life rather then live in an unhappy marriage.
Though: It’s possible to be addicted to frumkeit. A religious addiction is unhealthy and the person uses religion to escape from life versus live with truth, meaning, and closeness to Hashem etc.
I am not sure I understand this comment. An addiction is caused by the Evil Inclination. Either, the religious addict has defeated his evil inclination, or his evil inclination is telling him to perform Mitzvas and it is acting like the Yatzer Tov. Also I am not sure why it’s unhealthy? Doing good deeds are unhealthy, how and why? Also how do you know that they are doing it to escape from life and not trying to get closer to Hashem.
Also, the major difference between baaleit teshuva and recovering addicts is that not being Frum is not an addiction.
Why don’t you say he is addicted to his sinful ways? A proof to this is how hard it is for a baal teshuva (who was never frum) to do mitzvahs.
Chabad seems to be the only Minyan, they are at 80 Park Ave
This is another example of slaughtering the chicken that lays the golden egg. The average price for a seat at a Broadway show is over $100.00. The only ones who can afford it are the rich. By embarrassing the vice president elect they have alienated the GOP whose members are more wealthy and many moderate Democrats. If they decide to boycott the shows, the shows will have to close. This wouldn’t happen overnight as the show is popular and you have to order tickets weeks in advance.
Do you require a hechsher for vegetable oil or do you just rely on the manufacturer?
The point I was trying to make is that you are accepting as a fact that the newsprint ink is nontoxic here in the US because it is soy or vegetable based . All I am saying is that there is no way for the publisher to know if the ink is or isn’t soy or vegetable based. The only one who knows is the manufacturer and the publisher doesn’t buy it directly from them.
What if we sometimes dip our celery sticks in the car’s oil tank, does it need a hescher then?
Dipping food in the fuel tank is highly toxic as it probably was used with gasoline which is highly toxic. You do not need a hechsher on fuel if you are not eating it.
nauseous! Since you would probably throw up before it’s digested, I would posken that it doesn’t need a hashgacha.
I agree that it doesn’t require a hecsher but disagree with the idea that you would probably throw up before it’s digested. It’s no different than lead based paint chips which children like to eat.
time to try chicago or Baltimore etc… (still on east coast)
Since when is Chicago on the east coast and I always thought it was by the great lakes. The Mashiach is going to be looking for Chicago on the east coast and wouldn’t find it. Maybe that is why it taking the Mashiach so long to come, especially if he is traveling by a white donkey.
I couldn’t find that blog but I traced your quote back to a Pakistani article. While I can’t vouch for the inks used in Pakistan, the inks used in the USA are safe to compost.
The blog is from Cityfood Growers and they are from Austalia. As far as ink being safe in the US. The federal government namely the EPA considers it toxic and requires and issues permits for it’s disposal. The newspapers are losing money and will buy it from the cheapest supplier. Who maybe getting it from China or Pakistan where there are less safety regulations. Do you require a hechsher for vegetable oil or do you just rely on the manufacturer?
yehudayona My quote was from the organic gardening blog dated March 2, 2011. I would give you the web page but YWN doesn’t allow it. The blog is talking about the toxicity to the vegetables grown in the garden which was filtered twice once by the earth and then by the plant so the degree of toxicity is lessened. Boiling generates a much higher level of toxicity. As far as it being Kosher for Passover as previously stated the newspaper inks are toxic and Should Not be in Contact with Food as the ink will be absorbed in the food nor should newspaper be eaten seperately.
The ink contains heavy metals which can cause cancer as stated below:
“Exposure to a class of organic chemicals called arylamines, such as benzidine, 2-Naphthylamine and 4-Aminobiphenyl, is associated with high risks of bladder and lung cancer. Apart from these, printing inks also contain colorants, pigments, binders, additives and photo-initiators (used for speeding up the drying process of the ink), which have harmful effects.
There are literally thousands of ink chemicals and a majority of them can be dangerous for consumers. Newspapers are usually produced by a system called offset-web printing, which requires a certain consistency of the ink (it needs to be very thick) and a particular means of drying. For the former, mineral oils (petroleum-based) and solvents such as methanol, benzene and toluene are used; and for the latter, heavy metal (Cobalt)-based drying agents are used.”
I don’t mean to scare you but it also contain Dioxin which is one of the most toxic chemical on earth. It should be noted that some newspaper ink are made from vegetable based which is a lot safer but still poses risks.
While there maybe talk of succeeding most of these states couldn’t survive without federal funding. As far as starting a war I don’t think liberal have a stomach for fighting a war.
What are you going to do with the residue after you finish painting and what are you going to do with the pot? This is a very expensive and hazardous way of making paint.