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You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
This is free advice. I don’t want to know who you are or what you are( Male Female Young or Old) or what your income level is? This problem is not limited to an individual the federal government has the same problem. They had to cut their expenses and once or twice had to close parts of the government because of budget problems.
MY next advice is to imagine you got $10,000 as a gift to invest in Mutual Funds. With this imaginary money make an imaginary purchase of 3-4 different funds using the funds closing price as your purchase price. Then once a month check how your mutual funds are doing. It wouldn’t cost you a cent and nobody will know you are doing it and you may learn how to invest.
As to what am I doing about the poor besides giving free advice, if one comes to my shul collecting I give them a dollar like everyone else.
The question wasn’t how to help the poor? It was how to afford a wedding?
You are right if you are making $40k and spending $50K you will never get out of debt.
Please note when I use the term “YOU” I am not referring to anyone in particular.
You need to look at what you are spending your money on and cut expenses so that it is less than your income. If you can’t do this the only other solution is to find another job so that you earn more than your expenses.
When I had a car, insurance cost about $200 per month, gas for the car was another $100(which is what I was referring to) and maintenance and repairs was another $100 per month that comes out to about $5,000.00 per year for the car. Putting that into a Mutual Fund over 5 years with a little luck yielded $65K.
If you need your car, you have to look at your other expenses and try to find some where else you can cut expenses.
The first thing you must do is convince yourself that you can reduce your expenses. Look yourself in the mirror and say out loud (when no one is around) I will reduce my monthly expenses and then review your expenses. It may take months of reviewing expenses before you find the ideal way to reduce them. Please check with your spouse before implementing the cuts otherwise it create shalom bias problems and not solve the problem.
You wouldn’t be able to look at you expenses and puff find the solution. It takes time and sometimes trial and error until you find the best solution just don’t get discouraged.
Wishing you the best. This is no difference then losing weight just not going to the weight watcher meeting.
Are there poor people? Yes
The purpose of this thread is how to afford a wedding, not I am poor, I will always be poor.
1)Will anyone know if you did make a budget showing all your income and all your expenses on a monthly basis? Not unless you tell.
2)Will it cost you anything to make the budget? Only the time it takes to prepare the budget and perhaps some ink and paper if you don’t have a spreadsheet program.
3) If it doesn’t cost anything and no one will know that you are doing it, why wouldn’t people try to do it? People are afraid of change even if it’s for the better.
4) If they follow my idea and make more money then they need for the wedding what will they do with the excess funds? They will have to ask that on a different thread
There are two ways of saving money one way is to cut expenses as I have shown you. The other is to find another job. Robbing banks is not the answer? Likewise having someone else pick up the tab also isn’t the solution.
Are you saying you are a dinosaur?
I thought dinosaurs were all dead.
Have you been resurrected from the dead?
If you are resurrected from the dead. Did the Messiah come and I didn’t hear about it.
I got to know if the Messiah came because I have to book a flight to Israel. Should I take one of the cheap flights with a lay over in Russia or not?
FatHousewife
Are you advocating criminal behavior?
CV
I had a car and using it for shopping and moving it from side to side due to alternate side of the street parking and visiting on the weekends. I took the subway to work and still do. The savings was from not having to pay for gas, insurance and maintenance.
Syag
I know where you coming from I was in the same position. I was renting had tuition and was making less then $50K per year with 5 kids in a one bedroom apartment. My parents were retired and could not help financially. I needed a house.
With Hashem’s insight I made a budget and saw I could save a few thousand $ a year if I got rid of the car. That money invested in Scudder Mutual Fund over 5 years was enough to put a down payment on a house.
Try to make a budget all you have to do is add up all the income and all the expenses you had for the month.It doesn’t cost you anything just to do that. Now look at your expenses see if there is someway to reduce expenses buy store brand instead of name brand, buy food staples such as tuna or cereal when they are on sale.
If you try Hashem will help and you will succeed as it say the path that one want to travel (Hashem) will make him travel.
147
Trying to find a Shul where only one person recites Kaddish is hard to find and even when you do there is no guarantee that a stranger wouldn’t enter in the middle of kaddish and start reciting it, which happened to me many times.
Another thing that can be done is that EVERYDAY give a small coin(it can be as little as a penny or as much as you want)to charity in the name of the deceased.
The Guy appears to be the type who want a yes spouse. He will want you to separate from friends and family. You will never be able to make him happy. In some case, there will only be verbal abuse but many times it gets physical and ends in divorce. Are you that desperate to get married?
If you are asking the question you realize that it’s going to be a problem. You should know that the boys are on their best behavior when they are going out it’s only going to get worst once you are married.
Health
I hope you mean that after all your expenses you didn’t have $100 to put away because it could be interpreted to mean that you didn’t earn $100. per month or $1,200.00 per year. Even if you are on SSI they give more than that.
What you need to do is a Cheshburn HaNefesh or budget to see where all your monthly income goes. About 20 years ago, I could barely make ends meet I made a budget and decided I didn’t need a car as I live in Brooklyn. The money saved I put in a mutual Fund and 5 years later I had enough to make a down payment on a house.
I still don’t have a car but I paid off my mortgage in 15 years.
Basically you are saying that you have faith in Hashem and he will arrange someone else to pay your debt. I on the other hand am supporting two sons who are learning, want to teach people to be self sufficient and it isn’t hard, it just requires making a budget and delaying gratification sometimes.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone. Wishing you all a Happy Healthy and Prosperous New Year
You can probably find the course or similar ones on YouTube or other websites if you are worried about asking a Jew to tape it.
There is a minyan at Citibank building across the street on the 36th floor at 1:35 PM maybe someone there can help you
Mrs Plony
Depending on your health and age and the amount of insurance. For example, someone 43 could get $500,000 of term insurance for less than $50 per month. This is for 10 year term life insurance and is renewable, just the premium will go up after 10 years.
If you put a $100 per month in a mutual fund for 20 years you would have $24,000.00 besides interest. It is not uncommon for yields to be as high as 20% per year so you may not only have enough to pay for the wedding but also to support them for a year or two.
All you need to do is have the insurance and the mutual fund paid automatically from your bank account. You wouldn’t even notice it.
The only problem is that you can’t touch this money if you run short and need to pay bills.
In order to find term insurance just type term insurance 20 years and then fill out the form online to get a quote.
As far as finding mutual funds look for a fund which doesn’t require a large investment but has high returns over 15-20 years.
Here too all you need is to type in High Return Mutual Funds over the last 15-20 years in the search bar and then choose the one that best suits your goals.
The High return on mutual fund will beat the insurance companies all the time.
This system will cost less and give you more money if done properly. As a general rule over the long run if you sit and hold on even the worst stocks make money over the long run. You just have to not get into speculative stocks that might go bankrupt but with mutual funds your diversified so the risk is less and since it is professionally managed they will not cash out if the price drops, as small investors do. They will buy and wait for the price to go back up as it usually does. This is how they make money for you.
Health
If you put away $100 per month into a long term high yielding mutual fund over 20 years, you should have more than enough to cover it. It is not that hard in this day and age when you have automatic payments from your checking account for your bills to have $100 deducted from your bank account to the mutual fund account
Buy term life insurance from an A rated Insurance Company, you can find them on the internet and put the difference in an a mutual fund. Do your research on the internet. You will find funds that are geared to pay college education, this is the type of fund that you are interested in.
Just type term life on the search bar and you can find out what term life will cost you based on your age and amount of insurance, usually less than $100 per month. Then compare it to the whole life cost.
Next look for top rated high yielding mutual funds over the last 15 years. A fund that knows you wouldn’t be withdrawing your funds for the next 20 years invests differently than a fund that worries that the investor will withdraw their money anytime they are not happy with the return.
Wolf
I am sorry for the loss of your mother. WE all know you want to say Kaddish with the proper Kavanah but even if you don’t have all the proper kavanah it is still a benefit for your mother.
So if you don’t say kaddish you are depriving your mother of the zechusim (benefits).
Wishing everyone a happy & healthy new year.
edited
Happy
So you are not talking about eating the yummy friends.
Crickets
Are you talking about the insect or the game?
I would take any letter signed by a number of Gedolim with a grain of salt. Most of these letters were not seen by the Gadol. Someone told him about the letter and asked if he agreed. What he was told might not be what you interpret the letter to be saying. Sometimes they don’t even ask they just attached his signature to the letter.
So we do not know whether the even letter exists. And even if it exists did the Godel even know about it. Even if he knew about it does he agree with it the way you interpreted it. Give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t slander him.
Rational Jew
Are you saying that cannibalism is permitted? Is it kosher also?
What does it taste like? Are crickets kosher also?
What type of door was it? How was it attached to the frame?
If you live in Brooklyn take it to Marine Park and free it. Otherwise go to a park and free it.
Zahavasdad
“Do you take the same stand based on ability to pay, hashkafa at home or learning issues.”
As far as the ability to pay I don’t believe a child should be denied a Jewish education because the parent can’t pay. The parents can be threaten but the child must be provided a Jewish education. And as far as haskafa, behavior or learning issues, it is the yeshiva’s administrator responsibility to find the student an appropriate yeshiva not just kick the child out. Because if he kicks the child out without finding him/her a yeshiva it’s the same as sending them to public school, which is the equivalent of putting him in a pit of poisonous snakes and stealing the child’s soul.
I do not understand why anyone is a murderer in this case. Even if an unvaccinated classmate is in your child’s class it doesn’t mean that he is the cause for the disease. By this logic your child should never leave the house because he may catch a disease from someone in the street.
As far as the vaccines only working 90% of the times you have to have faith, when you drive your car do you stop at every intersection or do you rely on the fact that most people obey traffic law and don’t run red lights and stop signs?
Everybody should be entitled to a yeshiva education no matter what their vaccination status is.
Skripa
Not a bad idea going to the supermarket but you would have to go to one out of the area so you don’t bump into people you know.
Also I wonder what the people will think when they see a boy and girl dressed up pushing a shopping cart. Maybe her mother can give her a shopping list and they can see how good he is at shopping , getting the right things.
Either plan a head and start saving about $100 a month when they are 10 or borrow the money, such as a loan against insurance, second mortgage etc.
Make a budget and stick to it. Don’t have a fancy wedding, have it during the week when it’s cheaper. Ask about the package deals hall, photographer, florist & band for one price. Ask the other parents to chip in.
As far as supporting the newly weds if you are having problem spaying for the wedding which is $7,000 – $20,000.00 on the low side, I don’t think you are in a position to support them financially and you should explain it to them.
It depends if you need it every day then leasing is cheaper. If you need it periodically then renting is cheaper.
If your child is vaccinated there should be no problem your child will not get the disease. It is no different than if you send your child to school with sun screen and his friend doesn’t have sun screen. Your child wouldn’t get sun burnt but the other one will.
Many letters supposedly signed by Rabbonium were never seen by them sometimes they add the name without permission, other times they misstate what is in the letter.
Depending on the size of the luggage you could try B&H which is Ninth and West 34. Javits Center is West 34th and 11th Ave. You just have to go in they will hold your bags while you shop. You can also ask one of the frum salesperson where to find a kosher restaurant. They are open from 9am-7pm just remember to pick it up before closing.
Gavra
Part of being a PR man is knowing where you can get free publicity.
As far as why yeshiva world allows it. it is probably because it gets people to click on it and respond. Advertising revenue is based on the # of clicks.
Old Man
Rav Moshe wrote that answer over 60 years ago. Do you use deodorant, because back then it was prohibited as perfume, for the same reason.
Sixty years ago the elderly were respected now a days it’s the youth that are respected. So at least in business, to get a job or make a sale you need to have a youthful appearance, which is why some people dye their hair.
Joseph
They can’t. They have to agree to a first date before a thorough checking of the boy is done. None of his references are going to give a bad report anyway.
Even if the girl agrees to go out it usually takes a few days until the actual date during which time the girl’s parents can do a more thorough investigation.
Matan 1
A woman can dye her hair.
Flatbusher
If the product is not a dye but just rejuvenates the hair to it’s original color it would be permitted. But since people will THINK that he dyed his hair it maybe prohibited. A posek is needed to decide this matter
Reb Yid
Yes the question is referring to a Frum Male Jew
A better solution maybe the Morah would not have signed the contract if she is seriously dating someone. She started dating in October and got engaged in January and get married in March or April,leaving
only 2-3 months.
If there are 30 students in her class and each student’s parent contributed $100.00 as an incentive to stay to the end of the year. I think for $3,000 tax free she will stay .
Common Scence
The Public Schools don’t have this problem because they pay $40,000+ per year.plus benefits.yeshivas pay half that amount.
You want the yeshivas to be more efficient. But are they? A typical yeshiva class is 25-30 students per class if the average tuition is $400.00 per student per month, the yeshiva gets $10,000-12,000 per month. per class. Assuming two teacher one for Hebrew one for English at $2,000.00 per month that leaves $6,000-8,000.00 per month or $60,000-$80,000 per year, per class for “overhead”. Where is the money going to? Not to teachers salaries.
Girls should get back as soon as possible so that you can lock down a date otherwise, another shadchun will be proposing another girl and she will lose her chance to go out with him.
Most boys would go out with an overweight girl, it’s the boy’s mother that’s the problem. The other problem is that a picture is usually required prior to the first date. This is assuming that she is not over 350 lbs & 5’5″, then there might be a health problem.
Wealth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thirty years ago I knew of a case a couple was about to be engaged the groom’s father wanted the promised 5 years of income @ $30,000.00 per year,so he could learn, which was a lot of money back then, up front. The Bride’s father was agreeable to the 5 years of support, but couldn’t swing it up front, so it was called off.
I am not a Posek, but if he is dyeing his hair to look younger in order to get a wife or for business purposes it may be permissible otherwise not. But ask a posek, he is better informed as to how to answer this question
When you buy the building your lawyer should have it written in the contract that all idols and religious items should be removed prior to sale. Prior to closing you should inspect the building to make sure there are no religious objects.
All that is needed is the nullification by a non Jew, of the church. So for example if a non Jewish employee would crack or dent any idol or cross or other religious object prior to taking possession there should be no problem.
Please contact a Posek before purchasing a house of worship as any non Jewish religious object must be destroyed and you can’t get a benefit from it once the Jew takes possession of the building.
Zogt_Besser
If she came an hour late would she get her full pay? If the employer dictates the hours she is an employee. If it’s by the job then she is a contractor.
Does she have a MORAL OBLIGATION to fulfill the year? Yes she does, but is she financially obligated, the answer is no.
Please do not rely on me and contact a Posek if this is anything other than in theory.
When I was growing up it was assumed that the husband would be supporting his wife. Therefor the boy need to be a little older as he had to have work experience. But now that the wife is supporting it is better if she had some work experience.
Age shouldn’t matter but a 60 year old with a 20 year old is a no no. Sooner or later the attraction will wear off and then there will be trouble
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has a mate you just have to find it. It’s just the shadchunim are only looking to setup the ones that are easy.
Is this for real or are you just looking for Walcott the East Ramapo School Monitor.
Zogt_Besser
A Morah is no different than any other employee that took a job and left in the middle. His hand is on the bottom. Any additional EXPENSE can be deducted from the worker’s pay. If the employer hired a sub at the same pay rate then there is no monetary claim just a claim that she didn’t honor her word.
I don’t think that you can consider a Morah as an independent contractor (Kablan) the relationship is employee by all standards.
Please note she is not a slave as that was abolished back in the mid 1800s, at least in the US. In the Roman Catholic Church they used to have nuns who swore an oath of poverty and taught in their schools is this what you want?
On the other hand, WOULD YOU ALSO REQUIRE THE PRINCIPAL TO TAKE OUT A LOAN IN ORDER TO PAY THE TEACHING STAFF when there isn’t enough in the yeshiva’s bank account? After all he/she signed the contract too. This is not as rare as you may think, is there a thread about this?
As far as a contractor leaving in the middle of a job it happens all the time. Hopefully you didn’t pay him for the whole job and held back some money. Otherwise you are going to be chasing him forever. Good luck trying to collect even if you win a judgement.