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I feel funny discussing Christian theology, but immaculate conception has nothing to do with being “born without a father” that is a sepperate belief.
Immaculate Conception refers to the Conception of MARY not yoshke. (Though many Christians misunderstand this too)
No reason to do to much gogling. Wikipedia imagines well.
OK according to Wikepedia Immaculate Conception refers to the Conception of MARY and Virgin Birth refers to yoshke. I am sorry for using the wrong term for JC
Even if I am guilty of Motzi Shem Ra it can be atoned by Repentance and or Yom Kippur and or death and will have a portion in the next world. However those who embarrass their friends loses their portion in the next world. Accusing someone of Motzi Shem Ra surely qualifies as one who whitens his friends face (embarrassing a friend) and so loses their place in the next world. There are those who hold their portion is forfeited to the victim, while others hold that it reverts back to Hashem. In any case is accussing someone of Motzi Shem Ra worth the risk of losing you portion to the next world?
Little Froggie- L’toeles in itself does not make it permissible, there needs to be 5 – 7 conditions met. What are the conditions?
Lavender – I am happy that you are moving on and are not bitter about this. I hope and pray that you find your true love quickly.
Just to indulge in technicalities:
Regarding point #1, he’s probably correct, since neither him nor us know who and what. And as far as the girl who does, well she KNOWS not to believe nor trust someone who cannot possibly know anything. The Heading of this thread clearly states “Guys Please Explain This Behavior and because I gave a possible explanation, I am being vilified by the posters. Is it right?
Point #2 he’s probably also right, technically. He’s saying HE cannot be accused of motzi shem ra if it’s not certain there’s a falsehood. (no, of course he is NOT PERMITTED, but he cannot be ACCUSED of motzi shem ra.) If your standards for motzi shem ra are that you have to know 100% that what is being told is true. Then how are you allowed to ask Shidduch reference questions such as is the boy bipolar. As the only one who would know that is beside the patient and perhaps his guardian is is a medical professional who will lose their license to practice if they reveal any medical information to anyone else. If you asked a neighbor if the boy has mental issues by your standards you would be guilty of motzi shem ra.
Point #3 is wrong, as you wrote, as stated openly in the Chofetz Chaim. While technically you could be guilty of motzi shem ra even if you had no intent, you can not be punished in this world for a corporal or capital offense as you need to be warned to show clear intent. Since most of the prohibitions are negative commandment which are punishable offensives only if intent is shown.
If however you use my standards which is, if it is true it is Loshon Horah and if it’s false it’s Motzi Hhem Ra then intent maybe a factor. As R” Silber ZTL states in Oz Nidbaro vol 14 question 60, in a case of Loshon Horah where there is a Toeeles (reason) for Loshon Horah and would be permitted , if the intent is to embarrass or make fun of the victim them it is not permitted.
I have been accused of Motzi Shem Ra for posting in this thread that the guy may have commitment issues and the YWN has censored all of my posts defending my action. The reason I believe that it’s not Motzi Shem Ra are : a) Neither I nor anyone else know who the guy is, which is a requirement for Motzi Shem Ra b) In order to be guilty of Motzi Shem Ra it has to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the comments are false. The mere fact that there maybe other reason for the guy actions does not prove that my comment was false. C) There has to be intent to defame the victim, in this case I was only trying to explain his actions.
Is the YWN guilty of media bias and libel? Only the courts will tell.
yehudayona I think everyone will agree that you are not allowed to hack into someone email even if they are the government. Wikki hacked into the emails and gave them to others who then published them and you are viewing it from them. This is similar to the following case, if you bought you Esrog from a thief it wouldn’t be kosher, but if you bought from someone who bought from the thief it would be kosher because of the change of ownership.
yehudayona Abba_S, are you claiming that emails are not protected by Rabbeinu Gershom’s ruling? Rav Scheinberg ZTL disagreed with you.
As I said these emails were on government servers which means there is public knowledge, Rabbeinu Gershom’s ruling was regarding private correspondence which was only to be known by the two parties. Where and when did Rav Scheinberg ZTL (which one as he probably has a son and likewise had a father )write about reading leaked emails?
I am sorry Lavender had this experience with dating. This in my opinion but the case as described was a classic example of someone who can’t commit. The purpose of my comment was only to inform the public that there are people that just want to date but do not want marriage.
Based on the comments of some of the posters I think if they had lived in the times of the prophets they would accuse them of Motzie Shem Ra on the Jewish People.
Please note no one has to agree with any of my opinions and likewise I don’t have to accept your opinions either. I have been accused of Motzie Shen Ra. The only ones who knows whether whether it’s true or not is the guy, who nobody knows except Lavender and Hashem. This accusation of Motzie Shem Ra is based on the interpretation that because Lavender knows him it’s Motzie Shem Ra which I don’t agree with. If this interpretation is incorrect or the guy actually does have commitment issues then my accusers are guilty of Motzie Shem Ra.
lilmod ulelamaid _ I am sorry you feel that it’s Motzi Shem Ra. There is a Toyales a purpose for my comment. The fact that someone knows the party does not make the comment False and the fact that there was a purpose removes the prohibition.
minyan gal Interesting name, does it mean you go to shul for davening. Or are you a female minyan you know like one of those small yellow men in blue coveralls.
These emails where taken from government or corporate servers and are not protected by this prohibition. If you don’t want to read them then I guess you don’t read newspapers either for fear of hearing gossip or slander.
Ferd-You mean you never was at an auf ruf on Shabbos where they threw peckelach or candy at the Chosson, right? So are you saying that instead of peckelach which can be damaged and the food ruined, you would rather throw coconuts and issue helmets to the Chosson?
The guy has commitment issues. He just wants to date not marry. I doubt there is even a Rabbi involved he is just using the rabbi as an excuse to break it off.
yehudayona – Yakov the Patriarch & Shlomo the King had multiple wifes and at that time it was considered normal. What I am trying to say is that no one in today’s Western Jewish society would consider polygamy normal. As to others practicing it the Christians believe JC was born by immaculate conception. If that isn’t crazy what is?
The prohibition against polygamy for most Jewry has been in affect for over a thousand years although the prohibition could have been permitted 776 years ago. If the greatest Rabbis in the past 7 centuries didn’t overturn this prohibition suddenly some poster on the coffee room is suddenly going to overturn it.
It is not going to happen I don’t care how great you think the Rabbis and Rabbinuts who post on this thread are. Nobody in his right mind wants more than one wife at a time.
The question is will having more wives increase the Jewish Population, which in turn will hasten the Guellah (Coming of Masiach) or not. Will he come before all souls that need to be born are born?
RebYidd23- Plagiarism happens to be illegal. Only if the copyright owner sues, otherwise it’s no different then speeding which most times you don’t get caught.
Just think twice before you say anything.
Correction “If you are talking about the music most Jewish music is copied from goyish music.” My statistical sample may not have been accurate and I should have said a significant portion of Jewish music comes from Goyish music..
Most music you hear now a days has been converted to electrical impulses by a microphone and then converted back to sound waves by a speaker. So from a Halachic standpoint is music actually music? This maybe relevant regarding prohibitions enacted in remembrance to the destruction of the temple.
Can you also fulfill this Mitzvah by having children who will take care of you in your old age? Smoking may kill you but a decrease in the mortality rate due to glorifying the single lifestyle will kill the Jewish People.
You need to stop listening to Goyish music and watching movies. Your cursing is due to your environment, change back to Jewish music and a frum environment and you will stop.
Wishing you the best. Hopefully you can be reconciled bur be prepared mentally for the divorce.
I don’t think you can as you it’s probably Muktzah.
You need a good divorce lawyer to try to save some of your assets If it goes to Civil Court.You need to be prepared as you wife can spring it on you at anytime. Maybe the next time you both are in a marriage session or in the Bais Din you say you realize the marriage is over and offer the house and some money with a trail separation for a year. The Bais Din can handle custody and the financial aspects and the Civil Court will rubber stamp it if it’s reasonable and everyone agrees. If she can live on her own you will be divorced in a year but if she needs you as an ATM there will be no divorce.
Just look a round and use your arms to block it. You are not going to get a hole in your head you skull has to be very brittle maybe just a poke in the eye. You know neither the father nor the son is liable for damages according to Jewish law.
I am not sure I understand this when referring to Russian Roulette are you referring to a gun with a single bullet place against your head or just walking blindly into traffic.
Also if you are saying it is prohibited to overeat, when does the prohibition take effect at the first bite or after he is full. If it’s at the first bite is he suppose to starve, a starvation diet is not healthy. People die of starvation. If it’s when he is full how do witnesses know when he is full, if he himself doesn’t realize it. Maybe his weight problem is caused by a chemical imbalance.
Ask the Mod to send her an email that we are worried about her
Sit next to their husband
GoFish The quote is give me liberty or give me death. Are you from the south
I don’t believe your wife wants a divorce after 25 years all she wants is behavior modification. But that said, there is no magic formula to keep you and your wife together if she really wants a divorce. If you are scared she is considering divorce you may want to speak with a divorce attorney he will be better able to advise you, but if your wife files for divorce she can get half of the family’s assets and she can get as much as 75% (very rare) of your income for alimony and child support. This will have an impact on your family’s quality of life. Depending on the age of you children you may need to have a family conference explaining that you and your wife are breaking up so some expenses have to be eliminated so if the divorce goes through vacations will be eliminated, Ivy League education will be replaced by state college if possible, for example. This will serve two purposes it will inform the children that a divorce is coming so it wouldn’t come as a shock. It will also tell them the ramification of a divorce. Also say that the divorce is not your idea. This may convince your wife to continue the marriage at least until all the kids have finished their education.
flatbusher – The Pasuk refers to Guarding your body from Danger. Smoking and overeating may kill you after years of doing it but getting hit by a car can kill you instantly, so you can fulfill the pasuk by crossing at the crosswalk with a green light and looking both ways.
The vast majority of Jews are not smokers so they don’t fulfill it by not smoking. Otherwise everyone should get credit for not eating ham. As far as excising in order to combat overweight, that too is dangerous look at all the medical emergencies during marathon races. Being overweight causes the heart to work harder resulting in heart problems. So Rav Moshe answer concerning smoking, of G-d watches out for the fool applies to overweight too.
Other examples of fulfilling this pasuk are wearing a seat belt while driving, not speeding, not talking on the phone while driving.
yekke2-What should I do if I get a call in the middle of Seder, and its my wife calling me to come kill a spider that’s scaring her?”
I am a simple Jew, a lot depends how scared she is and what type of spider it is. It can be a matter of life and death if the spider is poisonous or if the wife can be scared to death example she has heart conditions. Tell her to leave and lock the house/ apt. and go to a friend or neighbor. Once she is in a SAFE environment and calmed down then you can tell her about the importance of your learning and she will understand.
Joseph I understand what you are saying but you have to realize that you can actually discourage them from davening at that minyan and possible at all. Once they don’t come daily to minyan next they start missing minyan on Shabbos and then they go totally OTD. You want to correct the problem, try to Mekariv them by respectively asking them why they are late or leaving early, it could be they have trouble getting up and maybe if you would called them 15 minutes before davening starts they maybe able to make it on time. Or if there is enough of them you can make a separate minyan for them so they can daven the whole davening.
Look both ways before crossing the street.
Not every animal kills for survival. There are animals that are herbivorous and other that only eat dead animals such as vultures and buzzards. That being said animals bought or raised as pets should not be let out into the wild as they can’t survive on their own.
If you are talking about the music most Jewish music is copied from goyish music. If you are referring to the lyrics that is problematic.
Shanghai during the war
Unless you have aisle seat and you have to let them in or out I don’t see why it’s your business when someone else davens.
I don’t think your wife want an actual divorce she would have filed for divorce sooner, all she wants is behavior modification, which marriage counseling should help you with. If there is a civil court divorce than the spouses are already living separately and the only thing the get is going to do is allow them to remarry someone else. If there is no civil court divorce there is nothing preventing the wife from moving out and filing for a civil court divorce. You can fight the civil divorce but she will be granted the divorce. Eventually you will realize you have irreconcilable differences and you will grant her a get and move on with your life.
lilmod ulelamaid – If marriage is a “Mitzvah Kiyumis” and R’ Moshe held that the Rambam held that Yishav Eretz Yisroel is also a “Mitzvah Kiyumis”. If you are living in Israel you have taken on the Mitzvah of Yishav Eretz Yisroel, to populate the land of Israel, and to populate the land you need to marry someone. Also the reason they want to draft the Yeshiva Bochurim is because they want them to SHARE THE BURDEN for protecting Israel. If this is true shouldn’t you also Share the Burden for giving birth to the next generation of Yidden.
Also a person who isn’t commanded but fulfills the Mitzvah gets less credit than the one who is commanded to do so. Thus according to you the wife who goes through the pain of childbirth gets less credit than the husband who didn’t feel a thing unless you count sympathy pain. I don’t think it’s fair.
A Bas Kol comes from the heaven 40 days before a child is born (it’s a song now) saying so & so is married to the daughter of so & so. A girl by remaining single is causing her male counterpart to remain single also, nullify a Positive Commandment Obligation.
PLEASE NOTE: I am not trying to pressure you into marrying anyone. I only want to understand the logic behind your train of thought. Please forgive me if I have offended you in anyway.
Yiddish is spoken by Charadim which is the fastest growing segment in the Jewish population so I tend to doubt it going to die anytime soon. It’s only dead in the Choloni community where only the old Russian immigrant who are dying out and some hard core socialist are the only ones speaking it.
What about Motzei Shem Raw that when you tell something that is false?
lilmod ulelamaid-“I was raised with the concept of sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never harm me.”
That’s a completely goyish concept.
The concept is that if attacked by sticks and stones respond harshly quickly but if it’s verbal ignore it because here in NYC it can escalate to violence quickly. This concept is for dealing with goyim not Yidden and I have two son and I go to all the PTA meetings and never had a report of any fighting in yeshiva.
The only time I resent them is when we need them to make a Minyan to start or at the end if someone needs to say Kaddish. Otherwise it’s between them and Hashem.
Lenny The Bais Din accepts the the Civil Courts’s divorce as proof there are irreconcilable differences. If they already have a civil court’s divorce they are already living separately, custody, child support and any other financial arrangement are already done. All Bais Din is doing is rubber stamping the Civil Court’s divorce.
Joseph’s high bar is only when one of the parties is contesting the divorce in Bais Din after the Civil Court already issued a divorce, in which case the civil court’s divorce is set aside and justification is needed for the divorce.
I was raised with the concept of sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never harm me. People never want to accept responsibility for their action and so blame others. It happens all the time at work, I get blamed for something I had no control over. As long as it doesn’t effect my salary or my personnel record I just ignore it.
thebabbler I don’t ever read a whole thread all I do is look at the heading and the last few post and comment so of course I don’t get all the details. I also realize it’s very difficult to forget the injustice done by your ex but you must. After World War II thousand of Jews who lived through horrors of the concentration camps came to America. Those who choose not to dwell on the past were successful in building new lives and built the Jewish communities that we have today. Those who choose to dwell in the pass never married or accomplished much. You need to move on to the next stage of your life. I am not a marriage counselor, therapist or shrink in fact at work I mostly analyze figures (numbers) and have minimal interaction with people so I might not be the best person to give you advise.
lilmod ulelamaid -” His (Rav Leff) (your spelling) response was that it’s a Mitzvah but not chiyuv.” I didn’t listen to the recording . But a Mitzvah is a positive commandment which is an obligation and a Chiyuv by defination is also an obligation so I am not sure what are you or the Rabbi are trying to say. Either it’s a Mitzvah and your obligated or it’s a Mitzvah that is dependent on time in which case there is no obligation for females to perform it, but is marriage a positive commandment dependent on time?
lilmod ulelamaid Couples don’t have to get into an argument in order for one of them to be upset, sometimes when things don’t go their way they explode. For example something spills on her dress, if I tell her, don’t worry you can hardly notice it, I will get a kick in the shins. the son in-law talks softly and knows just what to say to calm her down.
I don’t recommend starting an argument just to see how he will react, it can ruin a potential shidduch.
“it ain’t over till the fat man sings.”
lol. I guess you are capable of political correctness :). Either that or just overly makpid on kol isha.
According to Jewish Law a wife is considered married until she receives a GET from her husband and the husband must willingly give it. A husband has control of all property owned by his wife so a husband has full rights to live in the family house even if she is the titled owner. If the wife moves out in both secular and Jewish Law she is still considered married. I am sorry that thebabbler was treated the way she was by her husband but I think this was handled badly. Without hearing the whole story, and with wife moved out, the husband has no incentive to give a get and move out of the family home. He has the advantage of divorce not living with the wife without having to divide the family assets. Why should he want to get divorced and have all those financial responsibilities. As a society we should not allow this to go on as long as it did. I think one of the husband’s friends finally convinced him that best thing for him to do is give a get, move out of the house and move on with his life.
The wife has a hatred for the husband this hatred is preventing her from having loving feeling towards another man. If her ex wronged her he will pay for his crimes in the next world. If the wife can forget, forgive and totally erase all memory of her ex. She will be ready for a new beginning and will be on the road to find her true love.
lilmod ulelamaid – “Everyone thinks they are a mentch, the key is to find out if they have a good heart. For example how do they response in a stressful situation.”
Actually, I’m not sure I agree. I don’t know if it’s fair to judge someone based on how they handle stress. People aren’t themselves in stressful situations.
I am referring situations when a spouse is upset the mentch calms her down this is a trait I look for in my sons in-law, rather then argue whose at fault.
Meeting someone online or even at a social gathering you have no idea who they are they might have just been let out of prison. If you do decide to go out, meet at an offsite well light public location so he doesn’t know where you live and under no circumstance eat or drink anything unless he is thoroughly vetted as he might slip something in your food or drink. Even someone you met through J-Date or Saw you at Sinai require background checking as there is minimal or no background checking.
This all depends on is the divorce mutual agreeable in which case the Bais Din will rubber stamp the Civil Courts decision although I know of one case when they didn’t. The couple had remarried 3 times and was trying for the fourth time to get divorced. The Bais Din said they needed long term counseling not a get.
If the divorce is contested and either party wants reconciliation and is given time to reconcile. If the time elapsed and they are not reconciled They go back to Bais Din and can request additional time to reconcile. If they are still not reconciled by the allotted time then I think the husband should get a Toyan which is a lawyer for Jewish Court. He will advocate for you and will present your case in the best light.At this point evidence is presented and witnesses are cross examined by both parties and the case is judge and a verdict is eventually is issued. A Siruv is the equivalent of a Contempt of Court and is issued when the losing party doesn’t follow their ruling. It is only issued if the winner agrees to pay the Jewish Courts’s legal fees if they are sued in Civil Court.