A Heimishe Mom

yita: That is a great line!

It is a shame that boys dont learn navi, or chumash either for the most part, to the same degree that all girls, not just seminary, do. There has been a movement however towards teaching boys more nach from as young as 4th grade – the story line if not inside which is better than nothing!

Another subject in which the boys suffer a major handicap is Jewish history, aka “Historia.” Your average Bais Yaakov high school girl can rattle off lists of tannaim, amoraim, etc. in chrnological order (even if they can’t do it down the line.) The reason why this is even more of a handicap than lack of Navi is that these names are all over the gemara and they should know who came first – a gaon cant argue with an amora, and an amora cant argue with a tana. (I hope I got that order right, its been a while 😉 )

I will agree with the “every town has its problems” point. I don’t either live there, though much of my family does, and I HAVE condsidered moving there. The big catch? The in-your-face attitude. Simpler lifestyle? sure. But EVERYTHING you do is noted, and held against you. I couldn’t deal with the accountability. My housing and tuition cost way more (though my taxes are lower), but I wouldn’t trade my low-key mixed yeshiva community for that.

Of course. That is the original French Onion Soup. It is a pain to make. I have only ever eaten it at Simchos when they use puff pastry dough as the top instead of cheese.

I like scenario #2, however, that is very rare. Most guys go straight from college to working at least part time. Partly because it is harder to get a job with a 10year gap on your resume than fresh out of school in many fields. Most guys who do go to college first and then learn full time only do it for a few years.

It is hard for your parents to accept the new realities of life.

I think step number one when you, as an adult, are at odds with your parents is to seek out Daas Torah. College is not a must, but it is definitely a lot harder to find a job without it. There are also many professions which require certificate programs rather than 4 year college. If your parents can’t or won’t foot the bill you would have to take out loans.

Their one hope and nachas is to see you married off. This is also an issue about which to seek out Daas Torah. Boys and girls or being pushed into dating far too young. You need to be able to establish a form of parnassah, and perhaps a bit of savings, first. That said, once you are married it will be easier to qualify for financial assitance as you will be able to file as independant of your parents. BUT going to school and having babies don’t really work too well together, especially if you need to work to put food on the table. It is easier if you are the husband, but still hard.

And as to College=OTD that is really not true. Although there are many parents who do believe it, (and menahelim and roshei yeshiva that perpetuate it) you will find few “older singles” who haven’t moved on to receive some form of formal higher education. Either as something to do with their times, or as a means to further their careers. Being a copy girl or preschool assistant for 10K a year is not very fulfilling after a couple of years.

There are medical treatments available.

Hair pieces can be tricky if she doesn’t have much in front to blend it in.

Hopefully she will find someone who doesn’t care what is (or isn’t!) under her sheitel.

A) Its about time you wizened up to his scheme

B) Personal property may very well NOT be covered by his policy which is probably minimally insured in the first place. Personal property – computers, furniture, clothes etc. in a rental need to be covered by YOUR renter’s insurance. His insurance would cover structural damage only. And since he hasn’t been legally collecting rent, the apartment is legally vacant, hence there should be no personal belongings for the insurance to even consider covering.

You’re out of luck on this one!!

From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate’er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

‘Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

(not exaclty gemara-discussion material)

Singledom is given a bad rap. There is a lot that a lot of the singles in our community do for us that they could not do if they had the family constriants of being married. That is not to contradict the gemara, but it shouldn’t be such a shameful thing either. Make them feel important for who they are, not who you think they should be.

It isn’t silly. It just isn’t the way things panned out is all. When a yachid joins an established community he should take on himself the minhag hamakom. The first non-Sephardi Jews in America were yechidim who came to a Sephardic community.

If we want to get technical about the Minhag of the Klall ruling, the fact is, that America is technically a Sephardishe Medina – as in Sephardi from Sepharad, Spain, not Nusach Sfard. After all, the Spanish and Portuguese came first (some via The Netherlands).

How is that food for thought?

BaalHabooze – Lakewood is NOT internet free – there are loopholes (eg “for business”). That said, most of the people there do not have it. Yes, I know a few personally who never had/got rid of it.

And you will now gain 10 pounds for the lack of excercise!

With a number of twins in my extended family I have to say that yes, there are more twins than ever. But I also have to say that percentage-wise I really don’t think so. My children have way more first, to say nothing of second, cousins than the average family had when I was growing up. Hence the fact that there are way more twins among them does sound somewhat reasonable.

Also, nowadays maternal, fetal, and infant healthcare are such that more are born, alive, and well, than ever before.

Another cause for the increase in multiples is the vast number of women undergoing fertility treatments – at any age the chance of multiples is way higher when assisted than natural.

clever: I think you have it.

They raised him like this, what can they expect? Irreligious folks don’t realize that the “one thing they hold dear” will be as meaningless as the rest of it to the next generation. I would say tefilla is your only option. If he is close to the one orthodox relative, he is the only one who can try to pull something off. You really can’t “trick” these people into religion. They think they know it all and just don’t want to hear anything.

That said, there are, of course, many “success” stories out there. Tefilla, and the right contacts are the way to go.

Over the summer I paid an experienced teacher $30 for 30 minutes. It was for support for a regular kid who was behind in reading. Not special needs or learning disabled. For that, maybe you will have to pay more?

I never considered the accident question, but I have considered the stuck in traffic situation. In addition to leaving as early as possible on Friday afternoon, I drive through more Jewish, populated, areas rather than the back roads so that in the event of traffic I can park and walk to the nearest shul.

As to a last minute errand – stick close enough to home that you could walk back if you have to!

The 2yo and the light switch is not quite a loophole – it is much “iffier” than that. But if he doesn’t know better than it can be considered something of a “loophole” (and I plead guilty).

By Mesiras Nefesh do you mean Sakanas Nifashos? A life-and-death situation? Shabbos is not one of the “yeihaig v’al ya’avor”s. Some people translate “sakana” rather loosely sometimes: a broken arm on shabbos afternon is NOT a sakana, but a possible heart attach IS.

There are many mitzvos where people look for the loopholes and the shortcuts. (Do I even need to say the word tznius?) Doesn’t mean that we should.

For a regular Shabbos: 2 Challos of 6 strand braid each equals 12 representing the 12 loaves on the shulchan. I have made pull-aparts with 6 or 12 balls each (much easier than braiding).

From Rosh HaShana through Hoshana Raba we eat round challos to symablize to cirlce of the year/life. Raisins symbolize a sweet new year (some use a honey glaze or a streusel topping for the same reason).

Bakeries make round challos for all yomim tovim because its faster!!

Everthing however, is based on minhag, not halacha.

Looking back, I say we need to start from the ground up – our high schools. When I was in 12th grade the big Question was Kollel vs College – what do you want your chosson to be doing. They kind of forgot about the important part here. What do YOU as a human being want to do. It is not self centered or against halacha or hashkafa for a Bais Yaakov girl to consider her own wants, needs, and career options as well as the “career” options of a potential shidduch. Paper vs plastic is old hat and stam shtus. I do believe (as I have said here before) that a woman’s avoda is her husband, children and home, but she is still a person who, more often than not, does need a job outside the home. Would it be so terrible if our girls were raised to believe in themselves as women unto themselves?

I tell most of the yeshiva bachurim whom I cross paths with that older girls (22+) are definitely a better option than a clueless, brainwashed 19 year old with no real hadrachah of her own. Learn for a couple of extra years, maybe even complete a college degree (or come close). And then when YOU have hadrachah of your own, you will find a girl close in age who has also matured enough to know what she wants out of life, and what HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants from her.

You don’t really know what her life was like, but that aside, she really should be seeing a therapist – should have before she even considered remarrying (and I am NOT generally pro-therapy). The problem could be her! Her poor #2 as well!! He has to listen to this and be measured up to this all the time??

If they used too much conditioner, and scrubbed it in at the net, OR if the blew it or combed it harshly in the wrong direction that could happen. Go back to the salon. If a new person washed it, they need to be retrained. Not sure how they would fix the problem – but that is their problem. At three years old it has nothing to do with your piece.

I, personally, have been to Sesame Place which is right outside (but not for everyone/every age). Dutch Wonderland and Amish Country are the two main Lancaster attractions.

Mommamia22: The truth is I can’t remember! Could be it was a discussion point and not an actual, available device. But it should be!! Cell phones have gotten pretty small. Would it be such a leap to make a simple one as a bracelet?

I heard of a bracelet-phone with a “panic button” of sorts that a child would wear around his wrist and would therefore be much less likely to get lost. In England they also have a “Teddyphone” which looks like a teddy bear and can only call about 4 pre-programmed numbers.

The sticker program IS a great idea, but like most knee-jerk reaction ideas, the details need to be hammered out.

I do know of such a couple. The Mitzvah is called “Machzir reshuso” – returning his property, which, frankly, seems rather demeaning to me. And to do it after accusing her, falsely, of the most disgusting acts too!

Since a man can halachically marry more than one woman anyway, he can remarry ex even if he married in between. A kohen cannot marry any divorcee – even his own ex.