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Of course they do! Silly question. They leave for out-of-town or Israel AFTER two or three years of Beis Medrash. Not after high school!!
If someone approaches you on the street and you feel the need to respond, a polite “I am sorry, not now” will do.
When they come to the door I hide behind the inyan (halacha?) that a woman’s money belongs to her husband and I say that he isn’t home or unavailable and I can’t give. Its probably stretching things a bit, but they do leave.
I believe its in Indiana. I don’t know the exact spelling. It is a four-week camp and I know a group of lovely girls from Passaic who go there.
I did read the article (by Rabbi Leib Kellman). And it is a point that I have heard many years ago. The men have no clue what is and isn’t allowable and therefore women do as they wish. The women have been taught better, but when their husbands say “nice skirt” without realizing how many problems there are with it, then she will wear it. If the men know, they will be able to speak up with confidence. And if the women know that their husbands know they won’t be able to whitewash that which is wrong.
As to the girls – teenage girls can be really sensitive. If a mother is inclined to “let this one go” on a questionable garment, but her husband tells her not to – then she won’t and will be stronger with herself and her daughter.
The emphasis today on looks which starts with shidduchim (which starts at about bas mitzvah age!!) exacerbates this problem. Blazers aren’t “stylish” so why would a girl want to wear one when a fitted sweater is more “in” and makes her look “nicer.” The spirit of the law gets completely lost in all this, and it isn’t far until actual halacha is breached.
As to the other areas that were mentioned – such as hilchos shabbos and kashrus, I think most men are at least as aware as the average BY graduate. The difference there, is that girls are taught to know to ask, not necessarily what the halacha is in every situation. Boys are taught more halacha l’maaseh and don’t realize how many holes there are in what they have been taught. (And article like the one in the previous week’s Ami don’t help!)
While dating that is one trait that can be hard to discern – eveyrone is polite and on their best behavior. Reading between the lines when she tells you stories of her life you might be able to pick up on some things.
Wait a sec goq. I’ve been around for a while now. If the sum of your posts is correct, you are single and living on your own? Before dipping into the government, why dont you give up your apartment and move in with family? If that is seriously, everything considered, really not an option, as a single adult you will have to be making somewhere in the vicinity of $10 a month to qualify. (I might be exagerating, but it is very very low.)
best one I have ever seen:
tall glass with different amounts of colored water in each glass – stair stepped. only problem, the last one must have taken a LOT of oil and burned for a LONG time!
Health: “Trust me it’s not the girls ” ?????????
Basic mentchlichkeit, I would hope, is lesson number one in all chessed programs in every high school. I don’t care how or why an orginization is run. The girls themselves should have shown better middos than that. Sorry. They ARE at fault here!
yenting: the best answer, is ask your father! maybe the minhag came about simply because you enjoyed doing it and isn’t really a mesorah at all!
For all practical purposes, women/girls are generally yotzei with their father/husband. I think I remember lighting once – in Pre1A when we made a menorah in school. My daughters light their arts & craft ones. Once they stop those (1st grade I think) they stop lighting. My boys light.
As to the lighting at the z’man, even below bar mitzvah boys should light then even if the baal habayis is not home yet (yes, we asked our LOR).
In my, very large, family experience, I say let them do as they wish! Those that don’t want to mingle will gravitate into single-gender groups and members of the opposite gender will leave them alone. Those that are more comfortable getting to know their cousins will do so. (Those are usually the vocal, opinionated ones who tend to dominate the conversation. They need as large an audience as they can get.:) )
Most folks that I know look on first cousins in terms of the “ew” factor and wouldn’t seriously consider a shidduch with one of them.
Sorry, brisker. You are wrong here. While beggars can’t be choosey, and mytake did admit to sitting uncomfortably because she didn’t want to be offensive to the volunteer, the party that was out of line here is the driver. She was thoughtless and inconsiderate of the recipient – and that is at least half of any chessed project.
While it might make a lot of sense to add an extra mitzva on your way home from a wedding, a) leave when you say you will b) if you offer a ride to other wedding-goers, remember that the party is over as soon as you pick from a hospital.
There are a few. It can’t be an easy profession, but with the right attitude and department you can do a lot of good for the community.
Hatzlacha!
Do you mean currently living in Germany, or of German heritage?
BTDT. It has been a while, but I think I got in the 400s without major studying and math is NOT my strong suit. It took until I moved to stop getting recruiting mail from a number of well regarded business schools. (I never did go though.)
Unless the scoring system has changed in the last 15 years, it is better to leave an answer blank than to make a wild guess. A blank is -.25 while a wrong is -1. Also, you get points if your name and information are correctly filled out – so be neat there as well.
Hatzlacha Rabba!
Most Geirim today speak of staying in touch with their families. I DO often wonder at that though. I suppose the rabbanim have their modern day reasons for allowing it. Is it possible that the relationships and pressures to “return” that must have been in the olden days aren’t there today? Could is be a Chilul HaShem issue? (those crazy radical Jews wont let me talk to me son/daughter etc. anymore)??
The FATHER makes the brocho!! (I thought it was hatov vehameitiv?)
Come on people! I obviously don’t care what kind of party you make for whom, when, or what you do. But the concept of Shalom Bat is from the Reform feminists. Davening, making a mishebairach, and making brochos are NOT appropriate. And yes, I made a birthday party for my daughter when she turned 12. It was a BIRTHDAY party done under socail pressure (I do disagree with the party concept in general and don’t succumb to pressures generally, though a seudas mitzvah for the immediate family is deemed appropriate by poskim). I did not make brochos are say special tefilos or pretend it was something which it was not.
It has actually been declared against halacha. I don’t know. I usually say to each his own, but this is becoming more and more weird.
The schools would be too big and kids would get lost – literally. Smaller is better – to a degree at least. And all schools are NOT identical.
My non-kashrus-professional take on this:
A place like Costco could very well be selling a bulk pack of items from multiple productions. As the hechsher is still relatively new it could be some of the bottles were from a pre-hechsher run and are indeed NOT kosher. Check this by looking at the “use by date” – my guess is that the non-hechsher ones are quite a bit older than the hechsher ones. Kudos to you for noticing it!
yichusdik, I hate to break it to you; though I can take criticism where it is due, I stand on my original post. You are wrong. A kiddush is a kiddush by any name. An affair as kfb described where
“the mother even said a bracha on the girl”
is definitely NOT within the parameters of halacha regardless of your heritage.
Nothing at all wrong with celebrating and being happy. Being feminist is chukas hagoyim, and THAT is flat out wrong. The proscribed method of celebrating the birth of a girl is by making a kiddush. Not a female sholom zochor / bris combo.
Individualism is assur in Lakewood! Didn’t you know that?
OK Just kidding. Sort of.
In particular – the raincoat you mentioned, I will second it for convenience! And it does come in colors – Black, Navy, and Beige (though the Beige might only be in the women’s sizes – no more rain bonnets!)
The reform and constructionists do this!! It is entirely inappropriate and I would question the frumkeit of someone who makes such a party. A kiddush is all that is approproiate to celebrate the birth of a daughter. This is a feminist attempt at replicating the broo-ha-ha of a Sholom Zochor and Bris. I am not sure that it is against strict halacha, so I wouldn’t call it apikorsis, but it is definitely “amaratzus” at the very least.
It’s not covering up who you are. At that stage in my life I was also a “Denim Girl.” I even wore my biz to Touro (gasp!). But on a date it is simply not apporpriate. You should be dressed better than that. You should be wearing shabbos clothes, not weekday clothes! Unless of course its like date #5,6 during the day and planned as casual eg. museum, boat ride, park, etc.
The issur hana’a question, I can’t answer.
But many poskim DO NOT hold from kashering a microwave at all. Double wrap anything you want to cook in it.
Denim is for camp or housecleaning. Maybe grocery shopping. Not much more. And I am super-casual. Put on something decent for a date.
netazar: there are a lot of places and jobs one can do in advance of committing to medical school. Even if it is a clerical job you do get to see what it takes to do the job. Aside from looking good on applications, it shows a commitment to the field as well as interest in it.
Here in the US of A we call it a “College” degree – so you are marking youself as a foreigner :-). That said, my husband had TEN years of experience, but never finished his colllege degree (other than BTL which is worthless in the business world). He COULD NOT get so mush as an interview, forget about an actual job for months! He took a job that was paying less than his previous job with considerable more traveling expenses. So I would say, yes, you DO need a college degree to get a good job. If you are the go-getter type who can open your own business, well then, no, you don’t need one. Most people need to be employed by others.
cshapiro: competition is very tight for jobs. Either be willing to work well below pay grade, or travel quite a bit. You WILL have to get rid of the internet when it comes to school applications – unless of course it is in a home office and used strictly for business purposes. The online business idea definitely helps circumvent that! (These days, any home-based business really does.)
A cleaning lady you find by word of mouth – ask your neighbors. Also the Lakewood Jewish yellow pages probably lists/advertises agencies.
Can’t answer the gym/manicure questions
The Goq – you and me both!
You know who they are made for? The “geshikte” mother/wife who has to do it along with all the usual evening craziness in the house. They are also much neater. I really don’t have time to roll wicks (I DO know how.) That said, they are expensive. There are less expensive, easy alternatives. I switched to the metal stand which I stick the pre-made wick into then add the oil (you can’t beat the price of costco olive oil!). A lot cheaper though a bit messier.
A) Chanukah lighting take about 15-30 minutes, not years
B) The Macabim were not defending a secular state that happens to be populated and run by Jews. They were defending Eretz HaKidosha and the Beis Hamikdash. The were defending the Torah against Helenism and assimilation, not defending assimilation and secular Zionism/Nationalism.
The Jewish sites are definitely better, more filtered than the radio. That said, sites like this one even, do discuss subjects that shouldn’t really be discussed amongst heimishe girls. If you are going to be listening to the radio otherwise, this is definitely better. The newspapers (I read the Hamodia) are even better.
The Syrian community (SY is derogatory) blends in well with the Ashkenazic community within which it is situated. The Mirrer Yeshiva, on Ocean Pkwy and Ave R is in the heart of the origianl Syrian community – the Sephardic Center is right across the street, and Ahi Ezer is within a few blocks as well. It is not a gated derfel with no interaction with others. It stretches from Avenue U all the way to Avenue I, from Coney Island to McDonald (and beyond in the S-U area for sure). Become more knowledgable about the geography of Flatbush in general. You will find a spot for both of you.
Mikdash Melech also serves (or at least used to serve) a sizable Moroccan population. Its on Ocean Pkwy and M? very close to Yeshiva of Brooklyn. (See, it is very mixed in with the Ashekanazim)
gavra: she said not heavy academics as she has trouble translating hebrew so BJJ is out.
Happym: are set on going to Eretz Yisroel? Balitmore has a Maalot that is a two year program concluding with a Bachelor’s degree (I was told the options are very open). It is a warm out-of-town community. I don’t know too much about it, but it sounds good in theory. Check it out. There is also a maalot program in Toronto if you want to go cross-border.
By “buggy” do you mean with a full, real, bassinet? The bugaboo has one, as does the Valco Baby, and the Urban baby. Other companies also make removable, separately priced bassinet options. If you want collapsable, you want a Zippy, Perego, or McLaren type that lays all the way flat which is as good as a basinett. I believe the Pliko P3 in the “basinett” position faces the mother.
This is a standard question in all girls school from about 3rd grade and up. Various answers for the extra day include:
The neis that they won the war
The neis that they found the oil in the first place
If you go with the pshat that they only poured out 1/8th of the oil into the menora: It should only have burned for 1/8th of the day but it burned for the full day
I agree with Hummingbird to get another opinion. One can be on Prilosec or other anti-GERD medications for an extended period of time. I never heard of Barrett’s Esophagitis though so in direct relation to that I cannot answer. But I can tell you that Prilosec is an antacid type of medication and any condition that would require extended use of such medications would require frequent scoping of the esophagus (every 6mo or so) to check for cancer or other complications of the disease (not the drugs). If you are not comfortable with your current doctors please go find someone else!
How about fly a day earlier?
Baltimore or Toronto? Very different places. As I have minimal real information to go on, all I can say is both seem very “out of town.” Toronto seems more straight laced Yeshivish, while Baltimore seems more “Harry-ish” and more college oriented. (I don’t know of another Yeshiva whose BTL is regionally accredited – as in you can get a job as a “college graduate” which you can’t do from other yeshivos.)
I love it! Of course some of those Sem names are really interchangeable, and BYDM doesn’t even have a seminary, but that’s ok. Point well taken.
a) it is NOT loshon horo
b) sometimes it is just uanvoidable when . . . ok I won’t go into detailed description here but it is GROSS and UNACCEPTABLE!!!
corey: no I haven’t. Then again, not too many families that I know are still eating out meals when their kids reach teen-age. Close friends, the kids usually know each other already anyway.
The reason why people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving is because it was established as a thanks to the lord that provided for them. Like many holidays it has become secularized and a thank you to the country itself as well.
I have been told that Brooks Brothers sells women’s clothes. Some women also buy the Brachsoni chassidishe mens shirt (that button the “girls” way).
I think its disgusting. I will stick to my 10yo “tent” maternity clothes, thank you very much. Even the frum stores don’t sell decent clothes, and the prices!! OUCH!!
Its beyond the comfort zone of most teenagers. We put up mechitzos at dinners and other events to avoid the mingling which is precisely what is happening when strange girls and guys eat at the same meal on shabbos. In Eretz Yisroel it is inexcusable – if you want to have both over it should be one meal for boys and one for girls. If you have teenaged daughters you might want to rethink inviting boys.
Apushiteryid: I am glad that you made the choice that you felt was right for your family, you should know that there are professional, frum yidden in gray slacks and blue blazers who take English studies seriously living in Lakewood. The trick is to A) move there when kids are still young as it is easier to get a 1st grader into school than say a 5th grader and B) to choose a school that is right for YOU and your families hashkafah. Not every child belong in the Cheder or Bais Faiga. C) choose a neighborhood with others like you. I can say that I DO know such people who have settled and are very happy in Lakewood.
I will not answer the click if I am talking to my parents, in-laws, child’s teacher etc. Likewise, I will only pick up a click if it is from one of the above or someone I do need to speak to right away. The only other time I will answere a click is if I am talking with a chatty friend and need an excuse to hang up :). Most people today “get it” that if the phone rings 4 or 5 times and there is no answer, or even a machine, then the person you are calling is on the phone and the caller will try again later.
If we didn’t get partial credit we would all be miserable failures. HaShem is a Baal Rachamim. A one hour machsom l’fi is rewarded, even if we aren’t perfect the rest of the day.
Most of the “collecters” I see our mishulachim/os collecting for orginazations. While I applaud the anivus and their diligance, its like walking the guantlet sometimes to get in and out of a simcha. My main beef, on my side of the mechitza, is that most women don’t have money on them at a wedding!! Even women who come without husbands simply have a small bag with their cell phone and car keys, not a wallet full of cash.