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Squeak, well said
Not everyone
😉
That was accidental, It was sandwiched within a bunch of deleted posts from one user, sorry about that.
I hope it is fixed by the time this gets posted.
What makes you say that? Which side by the way?
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hardwork. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the BODIES. Love Son
At 4am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Son
A
Thought it was your type of humour squeak. Apologies if it insulted you
Squeak, This one is for you:
What do you call 4 Cubans in quicksand?
Quatro Sinko
W
There have been many hagadda divrei torah already posted in the nightly dvar torah thread. We ask all of you who’d like to share haggadda pieces to put post them there.
I sent you an e-mail Moish
W, and for the win H
S R N
Half???, dude more than just these names.
Either way we are near an Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? does it really matter?
IIRC
If I Recall Correctly
Has J-Matt done the parsha this week?
No offense J-matt
I had a guess, but I deleted it.
Is this one of my words?
lol, I looked at the link on the site titled “Phone Numbers”
Someone else also posted a number, which was different. Hence I needed to check which was THE number
Moish, I just needed to check that you were giving the correct number 😉
moish I see you don’t need me
Kapusta, I’m going to delete your game as Moish’s was received 1st
give me a few moments moish
here it is:
It seems Yankel was pushing 25 and he’d never been out on a date. His Rosh Yeshiva calls him into the office one day and says, “Yankel! 18 to the Chuppah! What’s going to be already?” Yankel blushes and explains to his Rebbe that he grew up in a house full of brothers, and he’s never even spoken to a girl anywhere near his age. He doesn’t know what to say to girls. Besides, it would interrupt his learning. The Rosh Yeshiva puts a fatherly arm around him and tells him “Don’t worry about your learning, this is a Chiyuv with a capital ches. And as for what to say, you can talk about her family, you can talk about what she likes, and if all else fails you can talk philosophy.”
Yankel leaves the Rosh Yeshiva repeating under his breath, “Family, likes, philosophy. Family, likes, philosophy. Family, likes, philosophy.” Finally, the day arrives and he goes out on his first shidduch.
The young people sit down in the hotel lobby and look at one another uncomfortably. Yankel realizes that he’s going to have to say something, and the first thing on the Rosh Yeshiva’s list is family, so he blurts out, “Do you have any brothers?” “No.” replies the girl, and silence reigns. Yankel thinks hard, and then comes up with, “Do you like baseball?” “No.” is the immediate reply. Now Yankel is really at a loss. Ah yes! Philosophy! So Yankel leans forward, and very intently, in his best talmudic tones, asks “If you had a brother, would he like baseball?”
Kapusta, you left out the line about philosophy!! that kills the joke!
moish, i lost you somewhere in the middle of having 6 conversations with 6 people
The article I read a while back did not specify.
By the way, Kapusta, you messed up the joke, but I still approved it
They used to burn them, until they realized that people put things in there which can’t be burned.
Try to look up how much (weight wise) gets burried. It is quite amazing
Jax: what does the Kossel Rabbi do with them- mail them to heaven? 😉
Sheymos
sorry, not planning on sticking around the CR at this hour
Available soon at The Yeshiva World Store: The JayMatt19 Haggadda
Seriously these are great vorts. Please keep them coming!
As to the rest of you in the CR, Please give as well!!
Moish, for the record I e-mailed it because I knew I needed to step away. Another mod ended up moding the game
I’ll find it. Don’t worry
feel free to e-mail me for another moish
Sorry Kapusta, the story did not take place in a Yeshiva. It was a public school somewhere in the US
What do you mean what happened to Joshua? we have a registered user “Joshua” who has never appeared here in the CR. Who are you REALLY asking about?
Quisling
Would you eat a cake in front of your friend who is starting a diet?
Would you drink a beer next to a friend who is in rehab?
How about this one: I remember hearing a story about an 11 year old boy who lost his hair undergoing chemotherapy, in order to make sure he wasn’t embarrassed in school, the other boys in class also shaved their heads.
G
no fair, you forgot the 2nd “I” before!!
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midnight
J-matt, your up on the big board for tomorrow. And of course we allow. You are not monopolizing the thread, don’t worry
~a~
just the pepsi comment which got deleted
A
I miss the blue
We are currently GMT +1
It would be disasterous to change “GMT” as it would muck up all the equations i.e. NY being GMT -5 during the winter
Go learn about it. I’m not going to teach you about it
5 hours ahead of NY (yes, we are on Daylight Savings Time as well)
You are just going in circles here.
You admit you have no clue about the Japanese judicial system, yet you are relying on it to be “fair”
Since you do not know the true story, you have no problem if they would be punished, and you feel you cannot pray for their freedom.
Why can’t you daven that (if they deserve a punishment) that it be given easily with minimal suffering. Why do you insist that the cruelty of a Japanese prison be “a just punishment”
Do us all a favour and learn about what you are talking about before you continue with this dialog.
Aussie, Why the need to vilify?