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you could answer amen to someone elses Brocha provided that you didn’t make HaMotzi first. Meaning as long as didn’t say HaMotzi you can answer amen. Once you make HaMotzi you have to eat before saying amen.
Sorry I didn’t read every single post, but what do they say “great minds think alike”?
“For it is in giving that we recieve.”
“Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.”
“In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to endure.”
“Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.”
“What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches.”
“I don’t think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains.” (Anne Frank)
“Practice makes perfect but if nobodys perfect then why practice.”
“Kindness is a language the dumb can speak, and the deaf can hear and understand.”
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
maybe just say that for a certain time you will try not to do the bad habit sorta like a Machsom L’phi. Don’t give up trying. Davening doesn’t have to be just with a minyan from the Siddur, you can talk to Hashem whenever you want, say whatever you want to say. If you find that you are in the middle of doing it then talk to Him, ask Hashem to help you stop doing it. Good Luck!
sammyjoe – are you pro obama or what? Obama is not good for anyone. Rome and all the other world countries in thier hayday went down and no one is around from them anymore. America is going to do the same thing, from within by the president Obama most probably. What good is he doing?
Maybe cuz they know that they’re leaving the world soon (at 120) and they will miss you but they don’t want to show it so they be grumpy so no one will miss them. IDK why don’t you ask one?
random question – what do you say to someone who’s your “friend” just for your brains but otherwise your not friends with at all except that you have the same circle of friends?
When the weather gets nice why doesn’t she walk to her friends houses (depends on the distance.)
I just learned that we get tests to keep us living. Does that make sense? The reason we get a test is so that we figure out strengths in us that we didn’t know existed or to strengthen talants. We need tests to keep us on our toes. I think that’s what a teacher told us today.
Why doesn’t she get a friend to stay with her for shabbos and they could do stuff together?
“You can’t illuminate someone elses path without brightening your own.” I’m not sure the exact words.
DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi All, I checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus!
I checked Snopes (URL above:), and it is for real!!
Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP.
| PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS!
You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled ‘POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,’ regardless of who sent it to you…. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which ‘burns’ the whole hard disc C of your computer.
This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts It is better to receive
| this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.
| If you receive a mail called’ POSTCARD,’ even though sent to you by a friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept..
We stay home. My mother doesn’t like going away because its not really family time at a hotel. We have a lot of guests and it’s much more fun and personal. Plus we don’t eat out at restruants on Pesach so I don’t think we would trust a hotel.
“Some people look for the state of happiness, not realizing happiness is a state of mind.”
“Prior preperation prevents poor peformance.”
“Your bad planning is not my emergency.”
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And finally….
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.
Remember:
‘A good friend will
always be there for you….
no matter what!
?
Proud To Be
Your Friend!
Make sure you read
all the way down to
the last sentence,
and don’t skip ahead..
I’ve learned…
That life is like a
roll of toilet paper….
The closer it gets
to the end, the
faster it goes.
I’ve learned….
That we should be
glad God doesn’t
give us everything
we ask for.
I’ve learned…..
That money DOES NOT
buy class!!
I’ve learned that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned…
That under everyone’s
hard shell is someone
who wants to be
appreciated
and loved.
I’ve learned….
That the Lord didn’t
do it all in one day
What makes me
think I can?
I’ve learned….
That to ignore the
facts does not
change the facts.
I’ve learned….
That the less time
I have to work,
the more things
I get done.
To all of you…. Make
sure you read all the
way down to the
last sentence.
It’s National
Friendship
Week.
Show your friends
how much you care.
Send this to everyone
you consider a FRIEND!
Even if it means sending
it back to the person
who sent it to you.
If it comes back to you,
then you’ll know you
have a circle of friends.
kapusta – nope
moish – that’s how it came.
Franks in Blanks go so fast by us and potatoes.
Hahaha those belong on like kosher laffy taffys.
I didn’t go on for a while but I wanted to clarify a few things.
The story of the girl getting redt to her brother…
She is one of 18 and had a brother dating at the same time as her. She has a very common last name (her husband has the same last name as her maiden name). A shadchan called her mother and said I have a boy for your daughter, she says the last name and where they live. The mother was like that’s funny cuz I checked out all the whatever’s in that area. Somehow they realized that it was her brother.
“5/4 of people can’t do fractions.”
“There are 3 types of people in the world. The ones who can count, and the rest”
“Everyone brings joy to a room, some when they come in and some when they go out.”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“To be or not to be: that is the question.”
“We need change!!!!!!!!!!!”
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: !
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Yep ! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands ! (Probably a son-in- law).
Bet your friends haven’t seen this one !!!
DON’T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
We normally have on Friday night Challah, fish, soup, chicken and potatoes (not kugel), and a vegetable with desert. Shabbos lunch is salads and fish, cholent and potato kugel, and a vegetable.
“History repeats itself only the people change.”
“A girl is yours all her life, a boy is yours until his wife.”
a
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” JFK
The match?
Then the stove cuz it provides heat and light at the same time?
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. – Why doesn’t “Buick” rhyme with “quick”?
PPS. – We park in the driveway and drive on the parkway!
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP.”
It’s easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special .
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledge able about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP
When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP
One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so………… it is time to shut UP !
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
Raspberry Snapple but Coke is number two.
Aren’t those things illegal anyway?
Cap guns are all we have where I come from and those burst your ear drums.
There’s more of an Inyun to eat Yoshon then Cholov Yisroel.
What’s wrong with Cholov Stam? Can we trust the Goyim? Obviously if Rav Moshe even thought that there was a doubt then he wouldn’t have said it was ok. He was machmir, just like if a Rav says that you could hold by an Eiruv and he doesn’t.
Who is?
Limbaugh actually said “i hope his plans fail”, not him. Obama’s scared of him. He was rated the most feared/influential man in America.
Probably not, you’ll just become addicted. If you already are addicted and it’ll save you a couple of dollars every time you go to a store and buy coffee, then why not?
Let’s see if you send it back. We all know or knew someone like this!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was
carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, ‘Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.’
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I sh rugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him..
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he land ed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, ‘Those guys are jerks
.
‘
They really should get lives.
‘ He looked at me and said, ‘Hey thanks!’
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude..
I helped him pick up his books, and ask ed him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before ..
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my
friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, ‘Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
‘ He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..
When we were seniors we began to thi nk about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never
be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great..
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, ‘Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!’
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
‘ Thanks,’ he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends…
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is th e best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.’
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
‘Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.’
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a per son’s life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others ..
areivimzehlazeh – No way that guy was just wierd.
My friends sister was on a date and some random black dude asked her to marry him, it wasn’t planned. She didn’t marry the guy she was on the date with either.
On the first date a guy asked this girl for her ring size. It seems he’s always asks for it on the first date and if things don’t go well then he returns it. Things didn’t turn out ok.
A guy from Canada and a girl from some place where it never snowed met in Israel. One of there dates were when it snowed in Israel (many years ago). He called her up and asked her if she wanted to do Angels in the Snow. She thought it was a restruant or something. Little did she know. They did get married.
We know this women who’s one of 18. When she was in Shidduchim the Shadchan called up her mother and redt her to her brother without realizing it. She has a common last name and ended up marrying someone with the same last name.
All the above are true.
Those were actually found inside Fortune cookies, but when I find ones I like I write them down so all I have to do is look them up and then type them here.
By the way it’s the queen.
I’d LIKE THIS BACK IF IT APPLIES
A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from
its hiding place in the closet.
She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three
times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for
mistakes..
Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap,
she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall’s
Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.
She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention,
but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a
scuffing noise. Nothing.20She cleared her throat with the most
disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter
from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!
“And what do you want?” the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of
voice. I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in
ages,” he said without waiting for a reply to his question…
“Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,” Tess answered back in
the same annoyed tone. “He’s really, really sick..and I want to buy a
miracle.”
“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.
“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head
and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a
miracle cost?”
“We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I
can’t help
you,” the pharmacist said, softening a little
“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I
will
get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.”
The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and
asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother
need?”
” I don’t know,” Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just
know
he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy
can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.”
“How much do you have?” asked the man from Chicago
“One dollar a
nd eleven cents,” Tess answered barely audibly.
“
And i t’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.”
“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven
cents—the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. ”
He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her
mitten and said “Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother
and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the miracle you need.”
That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon,
specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of
charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well..
Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had
led them to this place.
“That surgery,” her Mom whispered. “was a real miracle. I wonder
how
much it would have cost?”
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost…..one dollar
and eleven cents….plus the faith of a little child.
In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need.
A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a
higher law. I know you’ll keep the ball moving!
Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!
A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like
our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the
treasure of friendship you’ve granted to me.
Today I pass the friendship ball to y ou.
Pass20it on to someone who is a friend to you.
MY OATH TO YOU…
When you are sad…..I will dry your tears.
When you are scared…..I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried…..I will give you hope.
When you are confused…..I will help you cope.
And when you are lost….And can’t see the light, I shall be your
beacon…..Shining ever so bright.
This is my oath…..I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?…..Because you’re my friend.
Signed: GOD
Why do you have to have a petition? (Sorry for my ignorance) Just start a thread “Joke of the Day”
“Just because we don’t understand doesn’t mean the explination doesn’t exist.”
“This life is not for complaining, but for satisfaction.”
“Wealth is not in making money, but in making the man while he is making money.”
“A part of us remain wherever we’ve been.”
“This is your day to call the shots, so you should.”
“Magnaimity will bring you universal respect.”
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world, and my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2 Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING — SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS
AND ANYONE ELSE WHO JUST NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH!!
We were going to put a frog in the teachers drawer and take all the chalk away so they would open the drawer and the frog would jump out. But the pet store guy said that we needed a permit to buy a frog (is that true).
“Short sayings oft contain much wisdom”
“It’s easier to be critical then correct”
“It’s a girls world, we just let the boys live in it.” (Friend said it)
qwertyuiop: Oh sorry I didn’t know.
As my grandmother put it, “I wish him luck and hope he’ll do well, but I wouldn’t have elected him myself.” Doesn’t Chazal say, “Daven for the well-being of the government.”
“NACHAS”