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Why aren’t there any active shadchanim for zivug Sheiny that work with the heimeshe crowd? So many of us divorced men are sitting and waiting for months or maybe years till we finally hear a name of a woman. In most cases the woman declines either before or after the first date! It’s so hard for all of us!!!
Instead of sitting and waiting, why not get up and do some hishtadlus?
Plenty heimishe singles events available. Do your part and seek.
blishem -“It’s so hard for all of us!!!”
I agree. I’m divorced & I think that most divorced women don’t want to get married again!
Women who are divorced are usually because of some sort of abuse. So they think bad of all men.Women who are divorced are usually because of some sort of abuse.
In other words, most divorced men are abusers.
And you say divorced women don’t want to get married? They should marry abusers?
DY -“They should marry abusers?”
This is typical in the YWN (and elsewhere) – Miscruing statements!
Do you know the difference between Most and ALL?!?I divorced recently and haven’t started looking into Shidduchim yet. How big is the market out there?
WHAT ABOUT FOR AN ALMAN AND ALMANAH
Marital abuse is an ever changing norms .
It means virtually whatever one , one’s relations,one’s society choose at the moment for it to mean or don’t want it mean
Plus,It changes according to country and decade!Much of the basis behind females today complaints’ that they desire a real man and young males today “aren’t real men” is because so many boys and young men are so terrified afraid to act dominant and terrified to develop that, since they innately fear to be called abuser!
A hyper femenized society (including our own millennials and gen X ) ,in a nutshell!
IITFT: Are you saying it’s about time for men to take charge again?
“Are you saying it’s about time for men to take charge again?”
If you want to take charge, be ready for all the name calling you’ll receive.
The reality is that a large percentage of divorces in the frum tzibur have nothing to do with “abuse” but simply reflect a greater acceptance of the reality that two people may not be emotionally suited for one another. While there is still a stigma on divorce, its not anything near what it was 10 or 20 years ago. There are frum websites and singles functions that are focused an older crowd. Friends may be aware of others in your situation and be willing to put you in touch. Your local rav/rebitzen and members of the family may also be willing to serve as an intermediary. But as others have noted, you have to be your own “shadchan” and take steps to get out in public and make people aware you are seeking to meet someone. They will not magically show up at your door.
Are you suggesting men shouldn’t be patriarchs and take charge, MDG?
Most divorces today in the heimish/ yeshivish crowd is because of money, social pressures and incompatibility issues.
Unless one is in one of the attractive virtual “ideal” marriages, there’s a stigma for those who stay married.
For the younger generations today, it has become inverted / reversedIITFT: Can you please explain your last comment in a bit more detail?
T2-2T -“Most divorces today in the heimish/ yeshivish crowd is because of money, social pressures and incompatibility issues.”
My divorce was caused by s/o else! All those so-called probs can be resolved, if both parties are interested in working on them.
When women say they want a real man, they mean they want to be financially supported and they don’t want to be the ones killing all the spiders.
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