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- This topic has 11 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 9 months ago by haifagirl.
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February 4, 2013 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #608077RTKMember
How are shidduchim meant to happen 2nd time around, for the divorced, and widowed heimish/yeshivish crowd??
February 4, 2013 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #927342ConfuciousMemberSame way as zivug rishon. No? What would be different, procedurally?
February 4, 2013 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #927343oomisParticipantExactly the same, through meeting them. Whether through friends, family, neighbors, lectures, trips, groups, there is a similar process to the first time around. The difference is that there may be “baggage” involved (like a messy divorce, or not being over the loss of a spouse), and these factors do come into play.
February 4, 2013 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #927344147ParticipantOn JWed formerly Frumster, or on Orthodate.
February 4, 2013 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #927345HealthParticipantOomis – There’s plenty of baggage with never married people also. The only difference is that it’s hidden. People’s marriages fail because of the phoney presentation of the spouse when they were going out. At least this is one of the main reasons -maybe not the only one!
February 5, 2013 3:22 am at 3:22 am #927346springbok007ParticipantZivug shaini according to our sages of blessed memory is: lefi ma’asov
February 5, 2013 3:33 am at 3:33 am #927347oomisParticipantHealth, you are right. I think I didn’t express myself correctly. I meant to say that single people typically have a slightly more straightforward path to being set up. There are not typically the types of issues that divorced or widowed men and women have to ADD to the mix of what already has its own challenges in terms of finding appropriate matches.
February 5, 2013 3:34 am at 3:34 am #927348147ParticipantSmart mature people shall have learned from their mistakes, and be even more serious & committed to making a go of it, and learning how to overlook other people’s fault for the bigger picture of being married.
February 6, 2013 4:39 am at 4:39 am #927349alter bochurParticipant147- who says mistakes were involved?!
February 7, 2013 3:56 am at 3:56 am #927350ThePurpleOneMemberumm duh?? ppl get divorced when the first marriage, to put it simply, “does not work out”
February 7, 2013 5:11 am at 5:11 am #927351RTKMember147, Glad you don’t know. There are people who have suffered extremely abusive, and difficult marriages. In which case, the “marriage” was tge mistake, and not the “divorce”, and finally getting act together to move on (as in my case). Of course there are those that weren’t willing to put more effort into improving their marriages. Anmd chose to destroy!! Please try to be a little more sensitive when making general statements!! May you only know of happineSs!!
February 7, 2013 10:19 am at 10:19 am #927352haifagirlParticipant147, Glad you don’t know. There are people who have suffered extremely abusive, and difficult marriages. In which case, the “marriage” was tge mistake, and not the “divorce”,
RTK, what makes you think 147 was referring to divorce as a mistake? It’s clear to me that the mistakes he was referring to were the mistakes made prior to the divorce–choice of spouse, bad decision during the marriage, etc. The divorce shows they learned from their mistakes.
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