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Just curious….Do you have any neighbors that you dont know? Did it ever occur to you that you may have a neighbor that knows nobody in the neighborhood and is waiting for someone to reach out to them?
And no, dont stop at the first floor – what about all those people in basements???
I just had a conversation with a newlywed living in a basement in NJ. She has been there for quite a few months and only know her landlord. That reminded me so much of when I got married and knew nobody. I was smart and courageous and decided to overcome the fear of feeling like an idiot and knocked on someones door to tell them I moved in cuz they didnt come to me. Then they were the only ppl I knew for months until I finally did the same to a crowd of women that were having a jolly time outside eyeing me out of the corner but pretending they didnt see me. If I would have listened to my inner feelings to walk past them quickly and just run inside I never would have made friends. I had to reach out to them – when I was the new one there and when I felt totally lost and lonely. I still am ignored by other neighbors on the block and when I say hello to them they ask me if I know them or if I just moved in… (some 4 years Ive been here.)
I realized that its happening all over in the in-town communities. I lived in Brooklyn for five years… in a basement – I still dont know any of the neighbors. I tried a few times but just hit a brick wall.
People are uncomfortable to reach out and invite over a new person. They have no problem staring or trying to nose in if there’s an emergency at their neighbor’s door but just simply to say hi, invite over… it just doesnt happen.
I know that klal yisrael are good – we do lots of chesed and help all the poor and needy. But what about those ppl that dont walk around advertising that they are needy for your friendship??
We have to LOOK out for them. I’m talking to myself too. Honestly, i have no idea who moved into any apartments or houses on my block recently either and I think its partially that life is busy and partially that the mentality is seeping in.
I grew up out of town…. ah! What a breath of fresh air. You see someone you never saw before? you go over and bring cookies and inveite them and make them feel welcome.
How can we make this happen intown too??? No excuses. Lets make it happen.
I really want to hear from ppl here about times that they were in an uncomfy new situation and someone came over to them and made them feel comfy.
And I’d love it if we could start a program that brings this awareness out… any thoughts????
It is a universal problem: the passive vs. the active, and is prevalent in every facet of life.
Sometimes it is a confidence issue not to go out of your box, other times just insensitivity. Too busy is just an excuse.
The people who are passive in the comfort of their own neighborhood will surely be passive to the initiatives of others.
True awareness is brought by fulfillment.
Some blocks put together a list of all the frum people on that street, seemingly to facilitate a sense of social cohesiveness.
Nope, we know all our neighbors, and give nearly all mishloach manos.
If you’re a friendly person, and say hello to people any time you’re outside, it’s pretty hard to live somewhere for a couple of years and NOT know your neighbors.
@make someones day
I really like what you’re saying and agree with you 100%. We moved about 8 years ago and we still don’t know most of our block besides our immediate neighbors.
Our neighborhood didn’t really know each other that well until one neighbor started a tehillim group. She sent out her son to knock on everyone’s doors and let them know about it. Going strong for several years now…
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