- This topic has 24 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 6 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
Is a yeshiva bachur and his sister walking in the street maras ayin?
No. We do not create new maras ayin, and this isn’t mentioned in the gemara.
Why would it be more of an issue than a Yeshiva guy walking in the street with his wife?
Maybe the sis isn’t married therefore has no sheitel so looks like hanging out. Thought of that?
Could also mean they on a shidduch but why walk aroundIs it maris ayin to walk with a male friend too,? Maybe people will think you are involved with a guy !
Jdb; Did you learn the whole shas?
What is mentioned in the Gemara is that a Talmid Chochom shouldn’t walk in the market with his wife so people shouldn’t think he’s walking with a woman who’s not his wife. Based on this Gemara many Yidden have a minhag to walk several feet in front of their wives when in public.We do not generally poskin from a gemara.
Is a talmod chochom allowed to walk with his sister?why should i care about what yentas talk about?
We also bring down from chazal many inyanim of the importance of honoring your wife and it would seem that making her walk several feet behind you would be a real bushah. I’ve walked around just about all the frum neighborhoods in BP, Willy, Lakewood, Monsey etc. on many shabbosim and yom tovim and the vast majority of couples out for a walk are walking side by side with the kids and talking like normal people. We cannot live our lives in fear of what some pervert might read into a normal function of a husband/wife simply walking together on a public street for all to see, dressed appropriately and acting appropriately. I’m sure you are right that there are some who might engage in the chumrah of making their wives walk several feet behind them but it would seem such bizarre behavior would make them stand out and attract more attention than walking together.
tell whoever it is that might wonder, that he shouldnt be looking at females.
Is it Maras Eyin to walk into a Mcdonalds if you need the bathroom?
On some level, yes. But you have to be normal. You have the job of trying to make it look as normal as possible and other people’s job is to think favorably.Takes2-2tango: Talking with a women is brought lehalochoh in the Rambam Hil. Deos 5:7
תלמיד חכם…לא יספר עם אשה בשוק ואפילו היא אשתו או אחותו או בתוSee avos Dr’s noson on the mishna of “al yesaper”, which assers walking with sister
The avos dr noson is rambams source
To rso:
The rambam also says that a husband should control his wife leaving thier home to to not more then twice a month. Why are you picking only certain rambams. Say it all. Are u following all the rambam has to say?Is a yeshiva bachur and his sister walking in the street maras ayin?
————————————-
Assuming this is even a shyla, why is this question reserved only for a yeshiva bochur? Is it ok for a married guy? Is it ok for a non yeshiva bachur? Is it ok for a divorced guy? Please elaborate?Takes2; The Gemara that I referenced and the Rambam that Rso quoted referred to a Talmid Chochom. Does the Rambam you quote also do or is it speaking about a husband as you write?
There was a famous story about The Vilna Gaon and some of the Misnagim
A Misnag went to the Vilna Gaon telling him a Chassid R’L had a women sitting on his lap during a meal on Tisha B’Av and the Vilna Gaon said Chassidis was Kefira
When the Misnad did not tell the Vilna Gaon was the girl was the man’s daughter and the mean was on Shabbos T-sshia B’Av
ZD,
The story is not true and it is silly to even post it.
There is a Tshuva from the the debrecine ruv that talks about this don’t know mare mekomos, but I do remember that he recalls that when he was a bachur and his sister was helping him fund his going to yeshiva and then once she came to visit and he walked it hte strewets with her and he got it from his Rebbe
While not explicitly stated, there is a concept of “rule of reason” that the McDonald’s analogy above makes very well We don’t blindly worry about how anyone might interpret anything we do….we use our sechel to reason which appearances would likely be misinterpreted by the large percentage of yidden, how that misperception might c’v lead others to repeat our inappropriate action(s) etc. , who else might be hurt etc. Walking on a public street in a heimeshe neighborhood with your wife/daughter where everyone knows everyone else and their family relationships isn’t likely to pass the “maris ayin materiality test”. For those who are machmir and hold by eruvim, perhaps hang a big sign on her back saying “I’m his wife/daughter”
The Rambam writes:
However, it is degrading for a woman to be always going out, “one time outside and [another] time in the streets” (Mishlei 7:12). A husband should prevent his wife from doing so, and not let her go out more than once or twice a month, as needed. There is beauty in a woman only if she remains in the corner of her house, for it is so written, “kol kevudah bat melech penimah [the honor of a princess is all inward]” (Tehillim 45:14). (translation from R. Henkin’s English book, cited below)Hadorah: Your sechel is insufficient to replace Halacha.
my opinion is, for what it’s worth, that it takes 2 to tango
May 7, 2018 12:56 pm at 12:56 pm#1517309REPLY
ehrlichParticipant
There is a Tshuva from the the debrecine ruv that talks about this don’t know mare mekomos, but I do remember that he recalls that when he was a bachur and his sister was helping him fund his going to yeshiva and then once she came to visit and he walked it hte strewets with her and he got it from his Rebbe
—————————————
Just becauae “he got it from his rebbe” is no indication that its ossur.
I Got it from my rebbe” for asking to go to the bathroom.does that mean anything?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.