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Did anyone notice the response in the YSF to the thinly-veiled “question” regarding the unnamed shidduch program that makes girls pay?
EVERY SINGLE ONE of the shadchanim thought it was no big deal! Some even said how “beautiful” it is, as it shows bnos yisroels’ devotion to building families.
Um… nogeah b’davar anyone?
Ha! My sentiments exactly!
I have red thousands of Shidduchim in the last couple of years!!! In my household, we agreed with you Agreer, after reading that on Shabbos!!!!
A family member says the undersigned like the idea of making BIGGER bucks, possibly. Big bucks isnt enough.
Im taken aback that the Yated didnt offer comments by those who arent that positively impressed with this novel idea (Nasi has accomplished a lot, but this new idea, um…).
oh yes. The shadchanim don’t see anything wrong with boosting shadchanus to 13k.
They should all go to azazel. ????= ??? ???? ??? ????
I’m not a Yated reader with the exception of the centerfold pictures (its important to know what gadol or what knacker made or attended a simcha during the week) and the Readers Write (need something to read in the bathroom over shabbos). What specifically was the question asked? If it was worded in such a way that the question was basicly, are you all for trying something new to increase shidduchim being redt to older singles, what do you expect them to answer? Can someone provide the specific question asked with an answer or two for those of us who don’t read the yated?
No one besides Hashem can predict the future so no human can possibly know if this idea will work.
My issue is, as I have mentioned in prior posts, that in my opinion the “age gap” is an issue- but is a byproduct of much larger issues.
One of the larger issues is the despicable behavior shown by the majority of shadchanim.
Guaranteeing that they will receive enormous payouts will just increase their terrorist tactics.
Imagine the lying, hand twisting and threatening that will go on if $13,000 is at steak.
at stake.
Was that the question asked?
I fully agree that asking shadchanim whether the nasi project is a good idea is the like asking someone if they mind getting an extra several (tens of) thousand(s of) dollars. Clearly these are the wrong people to ask. Even if they oppose it in principle, they would be foolish to publicly say so.
The nasi project changes the playing field and discourages shadchanim from redding girls who aren’t part of this program.
Simple question: Is nasi helping or hurting those who don’t join their program to give outrages deposits (in advance) of money for shadchanus.
Before you hurt anyone atleast give one name of a leading Rav who endorses this program.
I am a shadchan and I am also looking for shiduchim for my children and don’t agree with this program.
If someone has the means and they want to pay extra,
thats fine..
If not, they should pay what they are able.
It would be nice if I would get something for my efforts but I would never ask for it.. There were some that gave on there own but I could count them on one hand..
NASIs REAL AGENDA….
I have spent considerable time reviewing all the possible perspectives behind NASIs initiative and i have come to the following conclusion. Lets assume as rationale reasonable people that NASI only has everyones best interest at heart. People have to stop acting as if the organizers are some money hungry schemers looking to cash in on some easy green from people at their weakest point. There is a serious issue and NASI has done an incredible job raising awareness. when i started dating it was uncommon for someone to date a girl within age range and now thanks to NASI people dont bat an eye at the prospect of a girl up to one year older than them and this is solely becuz of the selfless proactive initiative of NASI. Kol hakavod to them. Scharchem harbei meod.
But there is still more to be done, because everone reading these pages knows that numbers dont lie. We all know at least 5 girls 27 or older searching for their basherte. At first it would seem that NASI has done all they could. Closing the age gap was significant, but what more could be done?? Aside from strongly pursuing the international market of boys there is only one thing that comes to mind that could seem to have been NASIs agenda in launching this campaign. And its not something i believe they would come out and say openly because it simply would not be received well. And i find it hard to believe that nobody has figured it out because it would seem to be dvarim pshutim. The only logical explanation behind this new campaign is that NASI is trying to get people to promote and push an age gap of 3-4 years between the boy and girl. I happen to know of one or two cases where the girl is 3 yrs older than her hubby and they are quite happy. Let’s face it. They wouldnt have made this campaign just to keep ensuring people stay committed to keeping the age gap close. To make a 27 year old girl fork over that kind of dough to get a date with a 27 year old boy is insulting and more importantly unnecessary. Mission already accomplished. To get a 25 yr old boy do date a 28 year old girl would inevitably require significant compensation because thats what it would take for a shadchan to put his or her neck on the in sincerely pushing such a shidduch. How do YOU think the mother of a 25 yr old boy would respond to such a suggestion especially with all the 21 yr olds on the boys list?? I reiterate that this may seem outlandish but keeping in mind that NASI is a legit organization that hes proven their worth AND that the NUMBERS DONT LIE, this to me is the next logical step in their selfless efforts lmaan toivas haklal. I ask mechila from anypne who may be insulted from my perspective as i understand its a sensitive issue, v’yemalai Hashem kul mishalois libainu litoiva.
alterbochur,
Interesting thought, although I’m skeptical. I think it’s almost impossible to expect most 23 year old boys to agree to go out with a 27 year old girl.
Although NASI was quite successful at removing the stigma of a boy marrying a girl close to his age, there’s no reason, without artificial means ($), for those shidduchim to be preferred, so there’s still a significant age gap issue, albeit possibly less than before NASI.
The way I see it (and I have no inside info), this is an effort to encourage like-aged shidduchim, as advertised.
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if there was an increase in the type of shidduch you describe, though.
mom12, If someone has the means and they want to pay extra,
thats fine..
Then why don’t you agree with this program? It’s not mandatory, it’s for the people who want…
I don’t think one has to read much into the initiative. You want to set up a 25 year old male with 24 year old female great, however there has to be something in it for the shadchan. It is way easier to set up the easy low hanging fruit and collect shadchanus for comparatively less effort than to spend time and lots of effort on someone older. This “game changer” says to the shadchanim, go for it, we already have the money, your efforts will not go unrewarded, guaranteed, in fact, we’ve come up with numbers so outrageuos and obscene, you’ll be drooling over the names on the list.
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