Would you marry a smoker?

Eclipse – The quote is 100% true – I heared it out of his mouth!

Many of the girls that are saying they married someone that is not a smoker simply do not know that their husband smokes/ smoked.

no i would not! that is the first question we ask when looking into a boy because if the answer is yes we won’t waste anyones time with other questions

of course….i am totally open to that too!!!

You can stop fooling yourself that you wont date someone who is overweight because of the health risks.

does a smoker mamish define s/o as a person?

it seems so since people here reject them as soon as they here the guy smokes…

My Father smoked for 40 years 2 packs a day, he died of lung cancer 20 years after he quit, the damage was done, he was diagnosed in the month of july and niftar in october

My vanity?

No, men don’t look for an attractive spouse for their vanity. Maybe ask the next guy you date.

Me too. We’re on the same page.

I think it is something important, as I’ve argued in other threads. I am aware women don’t exactly “get it”, but men don’t “get” much of what women need either.

You don’t, or you wouldn’t debate its importance. Also, you don’t because you are a woman, and women will never get it. Ever.

i think you 2 should just take it outside 😉

I debate it as a Frum Jew because we are held to a higher standard in everything. I find it rather interesting that very Frum Yeshiva boys will only date a “size 2 attractive girl” and they will go and twist words of gemorah to back up their human desires, but C”V to go out to eat or wear a blue shirt.

Im not denying that you have to be attracted to your spouse, then again I dont think that it has to be a KO within the first 5 seconds or its game over.

higher standard yes but that doesn’t change their nature.he might not act on his teivas but a girl can’t judge or understand them.i do not advocate rejecting a girl based on her weight or dress size but to her husband she should be attractive.would you want to marry someone who doesn’t like the way you look?

sorry until i see consistent medical proof that smoking directly kills i don’t see the big deal health wise,if were talking about the smell bothering is something else. but 2 break a shidduch for that seems stupid to me.”

Either you have been sequestered in a Beis Medrash that did not allow you access to a newspaper, radio, or human contact with a medical facility, or you are just a stubborn, rationalizing smoker. NO ONE intelligent would argue the first words of your sentence. Only someone who is so addicted to his cancer sticks that he refuses to face his eventual GREAT probability of developing lung, throat, stomach, bladder, or some other smoke-related cancer, or emphysema (of which my dear uncle, O”H died, quite painfully, after years of suffering attached to an an oxygen tank, as his family suffered with him).

Now let’s talk about the “smell” you mentioned. You are used to it, but anyone who smokes, STINKS. He stinks, his clothes stink, his house stinks, his car (we had to rent a car this week and the stench was pervasive from the previous renter), his body and most especially, his mouth. It is very unpleasant to try to have a conversation with a smoker EVEN IF HE IS NOT SMOKING AT THE TIME!

I am not even going to discuss the issue of second-hand smoke, which has killed innocent people who never picked up a cigarette in their lives, including small babies who lived with smokers and had respiratory infection after respiratory infection.

Try to keep telling yourself that you are right and the rest of the world is wrong; that is typical of a smoker. Keep ignoring the facts, and most especially keep writing what you wrote about “seeing consistent proof.” The only way you can possibly not have seen such proof, is that you close your eyes whenever the reports are sitting in front of you. You ought to visit a cancer ward and see the patients who have lung cancer. I doubt you ever will though. It might just make you quit smoking, something which you clearly do not want to do, even though you are killing yourself and hurting your family and friends who love you.

BTW, not directed specifically at you: Anyone who dares to compare smoking to obesity, is grasping at straws. Unquestionably obesity is a health problem for many people. But unless an overweight person is feeding the same garbage to the children, they will not “catch” anything potentially lethal from her. Smokers, however, potentially can cause cancer to develop in people in their home who do not smoke. This is fact.

So no, I would never allow (nor would they want to) my daughters to date “occasional” smokers, much less smokers who are into it. Promising to give it up for ” the right girl,” is no promise at all, and actually is quite insulting when you think about it.

Only if she has end-stage cancer and tons of money.

My father a”h refused to stop smoking cigars no matter what we tried. My mother stopped smoking cigarettes (when i was 10, a habit from Auschwitz) when we kept breaking them and it cost her too much money and effort to replace them. She lived till past her 90th birthday and just passed away Succos time. But my father was more stubborn than we were and he didn’t stop till he had a massive coronary when he was 65 Erev Rosh Hashana. It scared us all to death. He stopped smoking immediately and he needed bypass surgery. His bypass lasted only 6 years and he died of another massive coronary in 1992. He cheated us out of the best years of his life, the time he could spend with his grandchildren, the opportunity to walk down at their chupas, to meet his great-grandchildren and share our nachas.

Was it worth it? NO! Can we say it was his time to go, maybe or maybe he cheated himself out of a longer life because he chose to smoke and didn’t heed Hashem’s warning to take care of the body Hahsem lent him. We will never know. What we do know is that we needed him, that he was my best friend in the whole world and I missed and still miss not having him here.

So before you go ahead and defend smokers and their right to smoke remember that their families have rights to. WE have the right to have them around!!! We have the right to not have second hand smoke effect us, our lungs, our clothes, our homes, our belongings, our clothes, our rugs, our sheitels, our hair, etc. and we have the right to have the people we invest our love and affection for be around for a long, long time to share our joy and sorrow with, and to be around for our ups and downs. WE are in it for the long haul and WE have a right to expect them to be committed to US and not to their tobacco!

So NO a thousand times NO, I would NEVER, EVER marry nor allow my children, grandchildren, great-granchildren to marry a smoker. EVER!