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Jacks Daniels: Just because you smoke out of the house, doesn’t mean you are not going to die. So if your wife volunteers to be a widow, and your children volunteer to be orphans, then go right ahead and smoke outside the house, no problem.
I’m confused… in the OP’s 2nd post, he/she says that they were referring to reefer? .. for those unawares, reefer is pot/marijuana. hmmm, so did we all assume it was cigarettes, or was that ‘joke’?
1987 how do you know smoking killed him?
1dayatatime
As a matter of fact I do, before settling on law I was going the Social Work track with an emphasis on addictions.
Most Yeshiva boys are NOT true blue addicts they dont have a physical and psychological dependence on their cigarettes, they have simply not quit yet. If they are indeed true addicts you wouldnt want to get involved with them because if you have the psychological predisposition to addiction it will manifest itself in many unpleasant ways least of which is nicotine use.
From what i here it is awfully common among the yeshivish-orthodox to smoke as an outlet. As the alternative is damging his middos you can be sure youre getting the best guy
i don’t understand why someone would smoke as the first times are no pleasure trip, what i don’t get is everyones issue with someone who does.we all have our weakness this is that persons yours might be food (which can be just as dangerous) obsession with cleaning…
bygirlnj how many girls stand up to the peer pressure of weight and size? of marrying that bmg boy and having the “kollel life” even if thats the last thing they want?
most yeshiva boys are just social smokers who can stop in a minute.
BYgirl you’re right,a person is not punished for being an “oiness” (forced/has no ability to control,etc,)but for getting himself to that point in the first place.
Popa,It’s not just the smell– or fishermen and plumbers would be on this list,and they aren’t.
It’s asthma/allergies,repulsion,and serious health concerns for the smoker himself,not to mention those nearest him.
Yes,weight that is way out of control IS IN THIS CATEGORY.
But since we rarely know all the reasons someone might have gained weight(there are other causes besides piggish eating habits)Please don’t lump ’em all together.Thanks,sir.
Sacrilege-
I found one! He never even touched a cig
But my opinion when I was dating was- if he’s a real smoker, then Id say no But its ok if he once tried it just to see what its like
To clarify my last post:I have one friend with a B12 deficiency,another with a removed thyroid,another on fertility medicine,another on anxiety medicine…they are all walking around bloated and uncomfortable…and may look like they have a self-control issue…but they don’t.
And yes,they are all NORMAL people.
for the record, i married a smoker andd once i became pregnant he did not smoke in the house or in the car. a few years later he quit completly. its been over 20 yrs since he quit.
i’m happy i didn’t choose my husband based on smoking habits.
and for the record x 2, obesity leads to so many diseases taht change a persons quality of life just as you say smoking does.
neither is good but i don’t see anyone saying ”would you break off a shidduch coz the guy/gal is overweight.
hmmmmmmm
Jack Daniels; don’t worry so much about those “poor” girls who are “marrying that bmg boy and having the “kollel life” even if thats the last thing they want?” Those people are finished with kollel after the first year, if it lasts that long. So don’t feel so bad for them. And PS, even though all my friends married long term learners, I have one friend who wasn’t interested in this, and married a boy who was working from Day 1. And no one looks down at her, or stopped being her friend.
JackD what about drunk driving, are you against that? You want to talk about proof? How many people “get away with it” e.g. no major car crash or getting caught by law enforcement?
;
so nobody looks down on her then why do u look down on those who smoke?
“so nobody looks down on her then why do u look down on those who smoke?”
its not a ishue of looking down its about spending your life with that person.
and since people here say they’re (the bachurim) are not really addicted then i don’t see the issue given some time (having kids..)they will with some push quit.if they started because of pressure shouldn’t their wives be able to pressure them to quit?
1dayatatime
I am not trying to be rude. I am trying to tell you that although I can sympathize, I can not empathize with people who have no backbone, since I am not in that situation B”H. I am sorry if that came across in the wrong way. I apologize.
Jack Daniels: I don’t understand this statement- “so nobody looks down on her then why do u look down on those who smoke?”
I am trying to say that we don’t look down at our friend who married a working boy. Even though we all married learning boys, there is nothing wrong with marrying a working boy if you are not interested in Kollel. On the contrary, if you are not interested in kollel, marrying a working boy is the RIGHT thing to do .
Smoking, on the other hand, was, is and will always be WRONG.
Popa-
Why are you constantly talking about how girls better be “smoking” pretty and a size 2?
It doesnt sound nice….
The Rosh Yeshiva of one of the biggest yeshivos in America said: “Any girl that says they will not marry a boy that smokes, will never get married”.
Most bochurim that smoke stop not too long after they are married. In our society, it is something that is done in the “bochurishe setting”, and is not a chronic, permanent thing. You can see that it is not too common for an older yungerman to smoke. By the younger crowd, however, it is very common.
bygirlnj:that is an opinion not a fact.
World Saver- Thats not true- I know of more than one instance where a girl said she will never marry a boy who smoked and did get married…to a boy who never smoked.
World Saver: I am one of those girls who said they would never marry a smoker, and guess what- I am married. It is ridiculous to say that everyone smokes. Many do smoke, and many don’t.
Jack Daniels: apparently you think smoking is harmless. I don’t think you are going to change anyone’s mind here. Go argue with the FDA and the statistics. When you win, and refute what all the scientists and medical experts are saying, then you can let us know.
what about all the rebbonim that say it is an assur?
whatrutlkinabt:
Doesn’t sound nice? Forget that, it is even actually not nice.
What about the Rabbonim that say internet is assur?
you know most of the data proved global warming existed till climate-gate..
1day at a time–Re:An addiction thread,see New Limerick thread{closed}.
WorldSaver…that quote cannot be true.Were you trying your luck,sir?
How can a parent responsibly allow their child to smoke?
If you say “they are out of the house/away in yeshiva” then
a)why isn’t your parental teachings impacting them? We learn about Yosef seeing an image of his father and it prevented him from doing aveiros…
b)maybe they shouldn’t be out of supervision at this point in their maturity level?
Why is it “ok” (it shouldn’t be) in the yeshivish world for men to smoke but not women?
For those who smoke regularly (pack a day type): If you can support that habit, especially when prices are so high and there are so many taxes on it, then maybe you are wealthy enough to pay full tuition?
If you can stop because of shabbos/yom kippur than why can’t you stop the rest of the time? 25 hours is a long time…
Tell me- is there any reputable Rav in today’s world who says it is muttar to smoke? to start to smoke? I have heard of many rabbanim who said it is assur to start smoking. For those who started before the consequences were well-known, they are michuyav to do their best to stop.
To all you smokers (and smoker sympathizers) who say it is too hard to stop…
Which is harder:
Stopping smoking
or
Knowing you may not be around for your childrens’ weddings and the births of your grandchildren because of your taiyva?
havesomeseichel–did you see what I posted about the video?
AOM
to try and answer your insightful question:
many years ago i worked in a respiratory ICU, many of the patients were WWII veterans, heavy smokers, usually unfiltered.
a typical case:
man comes in, already had his larynx removed from cancer caused by smoking
now he is gasping for breath, blue, from smoking caused emphysema.
admitted to icu in a panic, begging for help.
he knows exactly what this smothering, and what the throat cancer was caused by.
after a few days he is betting better
then he is able to walk around
what is the first thing he does?
goes outside for a smoke with the cigarette held against his tracheostomy, which is the only way he can smoke.
many of these men had grandchildren and hated what they were doing to themselves.
AinOhdMilvado– I personally know a couple, both smokers, who married off their 4 children & have 4 grandchildren, ka’h. And if you’re gonna ask: ‘don’t they want to be @ the grandchildren’s weddings?”, the answer is: yes, iy’H!
The wife stopped smoking for 14 yrs. but then started again; the husband has never tried to stop. They DO stop for 25 hrs. every Shabbos.
Mod 80 – do I know you? lol someone I know told me that same exact story.
It’s really funny to read this thread and you can almost clearly see who smokes or people that know people who smoke.
Anyway, smoking is known to be wrong and dangerous, yeah over-eating is also, but that wasn’t the question. The question was about smoking would that be a deal breaker or not?
I do not really have respect for people who smoke, because why are they doing it? They know its wrong. They might be very nice people and all but still…
is there any reputable Rav in today’s world who says it is muttar to smoke?
Dayan Fisher said it was muttar. He was sufficiently in the modern era, long after the dangers were known.
Did anyone ever see the smoking video I mentioned??
Personally, I’m married B”H, but when I was single, sure Id date a smoker, if he’s wealthy, in his nineties, has loads of life insurance, and will only smoke in the basement of the mansion we buy.
Did anyone see the
Why do I feel like this is a comedy script?Yes,eclipse.Now JITL!
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