Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Worst parsha ever!
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September 25, 2011 1:55 am at 1:55 am #599595popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I hate ????? ????! It is the worst!
The problem is, that if they are not double, then we get two weeks of 30 and 40 pesukim, respectively. But when it’s double, we don’t.
Now, that is not so bad. 70 is still really short.
But therein lies the problem.
What I hate most, is that you can’t even complain about it, because it is still so short. Insane! We get shafted with a double parsha, which could have been 2 extremely short ones, and we can’t even complain!
On another note, I like ????? because it has a passuk that I once used to good effect while dating. I posted it on the CR once, and let’s see if anyone remembers.
September 25, 2011 2:00 am at 2:00 am #921896☕️coffee addictParticipantyaaay popa’s Motzei Shabbos posts are back!
September 25, 2011 3:09 am at 3:09 am #921897shmoelMemberWhat is the Yiddish term for a double-parsha?
September 25, 2011 3:10 am at 3:10 am #921898shmoelMemberAnd wasn’t most parshas this year single? Why was this one double? Did Hillel set the calendar which year has double-parshas?
September 25, 2011 3:14 am at 3:14 am #921899RSRHMemberThis is assinine. Netzavim is one of the most powerful parshios, especially before the Yomim Noraim; it is empowering and humbling at the same time. Since the first time I really read through it preparing for a high school weekly chumash and rashi test, I shudder when I hear the words.
September 25, 2011 3:23 am at 3:23 am #921900Sam2ParticipantShmoel: There are certain rules for which Parshiyos have to be when and the doubles follow that. What we are worried about now is finishing by Simchas Torah. Since there is only 1 Shabbos with a normal Parshah left in the year this had to be double. And no, our current listing of the Sidras presumably comes long after Hillel established the calendar.
September 25, 2011 3:23 am at 3:23 am #921901yummy cupcakeMemberi sense a troll thread…
September 25, 2011 4:20 am at 4:20 am #921902mddMemberPbA, it is not proper to say “I hate a parsha”.
September 25, 2011 4:40 am at 4:40 am #921903midwesternerParticipantVery strong language. “I hate ????? ????! It is the worst!” How about, “What a disappointment! No super short parsha this year!”
Nitzavim must always be the Shabbos before Rosh Hashana. If Rosh Hashana will start on Monday or Tuesday, then there will be a Shabbos between Yom Kippur and sukkos. That will be Parshas Haazinu, Vayelech will be Shabbos Shuva, and Nitzavim all alone. If Rosh Hashana starts on Thursday or Shabbos, there will not be a Shabbos between YK and Sukkos. That leaves HAazinu on Shabbos Shuva, and Vayelech to join up with Nitzavim. This is totally independant of any other cheshbonos that cause any other parshiyos to join together or to remain separate.
September 25, 2011 4:50 am at 4:50 am #921904HaMayvin YovinMemberSorry to bust your bubble, but actually Nitzovim-Vayelech are NOT 2 parshiyos joined together! Actually the parsha of Nitzvoim is 70 pesukim long. It’s only in years that we are in need of another parsha, then we slice off a little of the “small” parsha of Nitzovim and divide it into 2.
September 25, 2011 5:10 am at 5:10 am #921905popa_bar_abbaParticipantI mean; Blazes! It’s even worse than the shidduch parsha!
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/funny-shidduch-stories/page/22#post-125397
September 25, 2011 5:14 am at 5:14 am #921906bezalelParticipantAnd no, our current listing of the Sidras presumably comes long after Hillel established the calendar.
Wasn’t the one year cycle established by Rav in Sura before Hillel established the calendar?
September 25, 2011 5:30 am at 5:30 am #921907gregaaronMemberThe other posters explained how Netzavim-Vayeilech works.
Vayakhel-Pekudei, Tazria-Metzora, Acharei Mos-Kedoshim and Behar-Bechukosai are generally used to fill the four extra weeks in a leap year (in non-leap years they’re together, but in a leap year, where we need for more Parshiyos, we separate them).
Chukas-Balak is a makeup double Parsha if the 8th day of Pesach or the 2nd day of Shavuos are Shabbos – since Eretz Yisroel is one week ahead of America (because they didn’t have that extra day of Yom Tov, so they lained the regular Parsha), we double up Chukas and Balak to catch up with them.
Finally, Mattos-Maasei is almost always a double Parsha, except for when we need to separate them to make sure that Tisha B’av falls between Devarim and Va’eschanan (like this year).
I hope I got them all right. Corrections are welcome and appreciated.
September 25, 2011 5:58 am at 5:58 am #921908popa_bar_abbaParticipantSorry to bust your bubble, but actually Nitzovim-Vayelech are NOT 2 parshiyos joined together!
It’s not my bubble. It is someone else’s and I’m just borrowing it.
September 25, 2011 6:10 am at 6:10 am #921909Sam2ParticipantBezalel: Unless I missed something, Hillel came long before Rav.
September 25, 2011 6:42 am at 6:42 am #921910PeacemakerMemberWasn’t the calendar set by Hillel II?
September 25, 2011 6:49 am at 6:49 am #921911midwesternerParticipantThe calendar was estanblished by Hillel Sheini, great grandson of Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi. He was therefore younger than Rav.
September 25, 2011 6:51 am at 6:51 am #921912bezalelParticipantSam:
Wrong Hillel.
January 9, 2013 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm #921913popa_bar_abbaParticipantWorst parshios ever!
You get all worked up for yetzias mitzraim, and then it’s like still months before pesach.
January 9, 2013 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #921914DasMemberFinally a parsha where they aren’t still single and you’re acting like it’s a crisis?
January 9, 2013 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #921915This name is already takenParticipantinteresing point: if you look in the chinuch and others they split mishpatim into 2 parshios
January 10, 2013 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #921916BaalHaboozeParticipant“You get all worked up for yetzias mitzraim, and then it’s like still months before pesach.”
All the better! Start collecting your divrei torah for your Pesach Seder.
🙂
January 13, 2013 4:47 am at 4:47 am #921917147ParticipantActually today’s Parshas va’Eiro is the worst, as it is just about the very hardest Sidroh for Ba’al Koreh to read.
Chukas-Balak is a makeup double Parsha if the 8th day of Pesach or the 2nd day of Shavuos are Shabbos – This assertion vis a vis is absolutely correct via a vis 2nd day of Shovu’os on a Shabbos.
However if the 8th day pf Pesach is on a Shabbos, in a regular year it is made up with Behar Bechoosai doubling up in the diaspora, and if 8th day of Pessach is on a Shabbos, in a leap year, it is not made up all the way thru Mattos Massei.
January 13, 2013 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #921918YW Moderator-42Moderator147, what is it harder – Va’era, Vayikra or Tazria-Metzorah?
January 13, 2013 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm #921919147ParticipantVa’eiro is hardest. Tzaria & Metzoroh are also hard, as is vaYishlach [Last 3 Aliyos >>> Aluf etc.}.
vaYikro is easy.
Be that as it may, making speeches/sermons surely is harder.
Even reading Esther is easier than blowing the Shofor.
January 14, 2013 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #921920chofetzchaimMemberVayakhel-Pekudei are always together in non-leap years with the following exception:
When Rosh Hashana of a non-leap year is on Thursday, and the year is Malei, so that Pesach comes out on Sunday, Vayakhel and Pekudei are split because we need an extra Shabbos for Tzav to be Shabbos HaGadol.
January 14, 2013 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #921921mddMemberI moche on the unacceptable thread name and the PBA’s very inappropriate coments!
January 14, 2013 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #921922147ParticipantVayakhel-Pekudei are always together in non-leap years with the following exception:
So much so, that because of this exception, it is possible to read Vayakhel Pekudei 3 years running split, such as in 2071, 2072, 2073; Albeit this scenario is exceedingly rare.
January 14, 2013 11:24 pm at 11:24 pm #921923popa_bar_abbaParticipantI moche on the unacceptable thread name and the PBA’s very inappropriate coments!
You should have been mocheh a year ago. The Statute of Limitations has already run on this.
January 15, 2013 1:25 am at 1:25 am #921924jewishnessParticipantAnyone who uses the word “hate” about words of Torah is a wicked heretic. No, I am not exasperating one iota. If you believed that every word in Torah comes straight from Hashem, you would not dare speak with such wicked brazenness. No excuses of what is really meant are acceptable.
You repulsive excuse for a human being.
January 15, 2013 1:27 am at 1:27 am #921925jewishnessParticipant“exaggerating” instead of “exasperating”. typo
January 15, 2013 2:07 am at 2:07 am #921926frumnotyeshivishParticipantjewishness – human beings, even “repulsive excuses” still must be treated with more respect than one must treat a sefer torah in many ways. This means that I deem you [and myself] a repulsive excuse for a human being.
I am exasperating though… at least two iotas.
January 15, 2013 2:40 am at 2:40 am #921927I can only tryMembermdd–
+1
This thread’s heading has been jarring for the last couple of days, ever since it’s been brought back to page 1.
jewishness–
Too strong.
January 15, 2013 2:53 am at 2:53 am #921928popa_bar_abbaParticipantNo excuses of what is really meant are acceptable.
Good. Because I have no excuses. I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful 100%.
You repulsive excuse for a human being.
To paraphrase you: If you believed that Hashem created the world and created people b’tzelem elokim, you wouldn’t speak to someone like that.
January 15, 2013 3:19 am at 3:19 am #921929☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantActually, mdd was moche a year ago.
January 15, 2013 4:53 am at 4:53 am #921930popa_bar_abbaParticipantActually, mdd was moche a year ago.
Of course he wasn’t. It was well over a year ago. It was by netzavim vayelech.
January 15, 2013 12:54 pm at 12:54 pm #921931☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIt was a year ago in CR time.
January 16, 2013 12:52 am at 12:52 am #921932WolfishMusingsParticipantYou repulsive excuse for a human being.
Hmmm…
The Wolf
January 16, 2013 3:03 am at 3:03 am #921933popa_bar_abbaParticipantHmmm…
The Wolf
Ahh. Finally someone worse than me is here. Yell at Wolf; I’m sure he can think of something to hate him for worse than saying you hate a parsha.
January 16, 2013 4:04 am at 4:04 am #921934WIYMemberPopa
I don’t think it is necessary to make this personal but I agree with the posters who feel that when speaking about a Parsha in the Torah one should be much more sensitive . One must treat Torah with reverence and awe.
January 16, 2013 4:11 am at 4:11 am #921935popa_bar_abbaParticipantPopa
I don’t think it is necessary to make this personal but I agree with the posters who feel that when speaking about a Parsha in the Torah one should be much more sensitive.
Well, if it isn’t necessary, why did you just make this personal? If you have a point to make, you can make it without making it be about me!
January 16, 2013 4:21 am at 4:21 am #921936WIYMemberPopa
You said you hate nitzavim vayeilech and that it is the worst. You may want to rethink how to better express this. And frankly what possessed you to think that you as a mere human being have a right to “rate ” Hashems parshiyos in His Torah and decide you don’t like one?!
January 16, 2013 4:22 am at 4:22 am #921937popa_bar_abbaParticipantAgain you’re making it about me. If it bothers you, it should be about Hashem, not about me.
January 16, 2013 4:32 am at 4:32 am #921938WIYMemberIts about what you said.Im not attacking you and saying you are a bad person. I think you are a learned person who is machshiv Torah who made a mistake and was irreverent.
January 16, 2013 5:00 am at 5:00 am #921939popa_bar_abbaParticipantbump
January 16, 2013 10:38 am at 10:38 am #921941SabziMemberhaha… thanks for the bump popa… I wouldn’t have seen this otherwise… I’d rather have 2 separate short parshas…. now I feel jipped 🙁
January 16, 2013 12:32 pm at 12:32 pm #921942mddMemberChevra, some reshoim (I am not saying PBA is) are not to be treated with respect according to the Torah. There are Halochos about it.
January 16, 2013 3:12 pm at 3:12 pm #921943☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI can only try-
+2
January 16, 2013 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm #921944popa_bar_abbaParticipantThank you Sabzi. And thank you mdd for your contribution.
Sabzi: It is spelled gypped, and it is a racial slur (as in gypsy), so you should probably try not to use it.
January 16, 2013 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #921945WolfishMusingsParticipantAnd frankly what possessed you to think that you as a mere human being have a right to “rate ” Hashems parshiyos in His Torah and decide you don’t like one?!
Because, as human beings, we all have likes and dislikes. There are certain topics that I enjoy learning far more than others, there are certain parshiyos I enjoy more than others and there are certain seforim that I enjoy more than others.
Are they all HaShem’s Torah? Of course they are. But we all have our preferences. HKBH created us with likes and dislikes and affinities towards certain subjects and not others.
You may have a case with calling out the poster for expressing it as he did, but you have no right to call him out for actually liking one parsha more than another.
Tell me, do you truthfully love every topic of Torah equally? If so, then you are truly unique, because 99.999999999999% of us are not like that.
The Wolf
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