Worst Joke Contest

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Viewing 41 posts - 101 through 141 (of 141 total)
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  • #1004697
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped onto a piece of gum on the moon? He got stuck in Orbit.

    #1004699
    Toi
    Participant

    whats a veggies favorite rock star?

    Elvis parsley. I’m honestly embarassed to know this. Laffy Taffy…

    #1004700
    YehudahTzvi
    Participant

    A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Where did you find him?” The frog says, “Brooklyn, there’s thousands of them there!”

    #1004701
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    What do people working in a clock factory do? They sit and make faces all day.

    When’s the best time to buy a budgie? While they are going cheap.

    Why are bees all sticky? They use honey combs.

    What part of a fish weighs easily? The scales.

    Why did the witch leave her broomstick behind? Because it over swept.

    #1004702
    collegegrad
    Member

    Whats a cops favorite Tefilla? I Hava Rabba

    What happens when you sleep with matza under your pillow? You get crumby dreams

    #1004703

    what did the latke say when the other one asked a question?

    aah a talking latke!

    #1004704
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Knock, knock.

    Who’s there?

    Interrupting co-efficient of friction.

    Interrupting co-efficient of-

    MUUUUUUU!

    #1004705
    supergirl613
    Member

    How do you watch time fly?

    Throw a clock out the window!

    #1004706
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    There are ten types of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

    #1004707
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe. They observe two people enter an abandoned building across the street. After a while, three people exit the building. The physicist remarks, “Our initial measurement must have been inaccurate.” The biologists counters, saying, “They have reproduced.” And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again.”

    #1004708
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    OneOfMany: the way you wrote that binary joke, it looks like you havent understood it. No wonder you posted it in the worst jokes thread when in fact it is a very clever joke. It should read: There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

    If you dont get the difference you dont know what binary is.

    #1004709
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Why did the dead person go to the doctor,

    Because it was coffin

    #1004710
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Shticky Guy – math geekiness and good diction were grappling over that one. Good diction won out. 🙂

    #1004711
    cinderella
    Participant

    *My favorites*

    What’s red and not there? – no tomatoes

    What is green, red, and goes 150 mph? – a frog in a blender

    I am laughing so hard right now 🙂 What is wrong with me?

    #1004712
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Ooh, ooh, cinderella just reminded me…what’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell from a tree could kill you? A pool table. *cue groans*

    #1004713
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Blonde Musician: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so!

    A blonde guy calls the hospital. You gotta help me he says my wife’s gone into labor. The nurse says calm down calm down, is this her first child? He says no its her husband.

    Did you hear of the blonde who studied for her blood test and failed?

    Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.

    What did the blonde do when she missed the last 44 bus? She took the 22 bus twice.

    While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told it was to let blind people know when the light was red she replied “What in the world are blind people doing driving”.

    Did you hear of the near tragedy at the mall? The power went off for 5 hours leaving twelve blondes stranded on their way to the 2nd floor on the escalator.

    #1004714
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Cinderella,

    you’re overtired

    maybe it was that ball you went to last night and stayed up past midnight

    #1004715
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    shticky,

    those last two are good

    #1004716
    cinderella
    Participant

    Yeah coffee. And I had to run all the way home from the ball with only one shoe. My feet are killing me!

    #1004717
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    you see,

    the normal thing to do is either run with NO shoes or better yet hail a taxi.

    #1004718
    cinderella
    Participant

    Oh. I didn’t think of that. I was in such a rush because my stupid fairy godmother kept texting me that I was out past my curfew.

    #1004719
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    yeah,

    those fairy godmothers are no good,

    never there when you really need them (if I was a fairy godmother I would be waiting outside the ball to pick you up)

    #1004720
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    This one did not even make the Laffy Taffy list:

    What is pink and fluffy?

    Pink fluff.

    What is blue and fluffy?

    Pink fluff holding its breath.

    #1004721
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    why did the dinosaur cross the road?

    coz chickens weren’t invented yet!

    what noise do dinosaurs make whilst sleeping? Dinosnoars!

    #1004722
    supergirl613
    Member

    1.Why does the cookie have to go to the doctor?

    Because it was feeling “crumby!!!”

    2.How do you see time fly?

    Throw a clock out the window!!

    #1004723
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Why did the farmer cross the road?

    #1004725

    Q. What’s blue and smells like red paint?

    A. Blue paint.

    (Think about it)

    #1004726
    mobico
    Participant

    Q. If one horse is shut in a corral, and one is running free, which is singing, “Don’t lock me up”?

    A. Neither one. Horses can’t sing.

    #1004727
    2good2btrue
    Participant

    Q. Why was the cookie sad?

    A. Because his Mother was crumby and his Father was a “wafer” so long.

    #1004728
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    “Email this to all of your friends or you’ll have six more weeks of winter.”

    The worst jokes are always prefaced or epilogued with something along those lines. They’d be good if not for that. 😛

    #1004729

    I’m actually still thinking about it. (How’s that for a bad joke?)

    #1004730
    squeak
    Participant

    What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

    Hailing taxi cabs.

    #1004731
    squeak
    Participant

    A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

    #1004732
    squeak
    Participant

    What has eighteen legs and catches flies?

    A baseball team.

    #1004733
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    squeak – love that skeleton joke!

    One of my all time faves is:

    An arab, a priest and a rabbi walked into a bar and the bartender said, “is this some kind of a joke?”

    #1004734

    HEY, WHAT’S GOING ON? I DID NOT POST THIS: I’m actually still thinking about it. (How’s that for a bad joke?)

    IS SOMEONE USING MY NAME SOMEHOW???

    #1004735
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Rocky – stuff in bold is written by mods. They will edit or comment to you on you post. (Seems like it really was a bad joke)

    #1004736

    Yeah, they censored another one about a


    who crosses the road to put


    on the


    .

    #1004737
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    was that a chicken joke? I think I’ve heard it.

    #1004738

    Maybe if I spread the joke out over a few posts the moderator WHO SHOULD REALLY CUT ME SOME SLACK will be asleep at the wheel and let it pass.

    #1004739
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    What do you get when ten of those despicable minions get together to daven mincha?

    A Minion Minyan.

Viewing 41 posts - 101 through 141 (of 141 total)
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