- This topic has 162 replies, 49 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by .
-
Posts
-
If I may ask a personal question of a “working single”. Would you date a girl who is not thin?
absolutely not!!!
Because I am a girl…
Would I date a boy that is not thin?
absolutely yes. I’ve gone out with more than one in that category, for more than one date.
I can’t exactly understand the question altogether, because I don’t see how size influences ones’ inner beauty… But what I REALLY want to understand is why this question is specific to “working singles”?
Sorry! I thought your a working boy and looking fir a shadchan. I agree with you completely that size has nothing with inner beauty!
ivory
Pray tell how dating a certain size makes any difference if one is working or learning.
Makes no difference whatsoever. But some working boys are complaining that they can’t get a date and would not consider dating a heavy girl
Ivory
“If I may ask a personal question of a “working single”. Would you date a girl who is not thin?”
I think the point of your question is to compare a girl who is heavy to a boy who is working, meaning that each has a flaw that would make them second-class in shidduchim.
You are wrong. Assuming being heavy is a flaw (nothing personal, but it clearly is, whether you are a working guy or a learning guy), then that is a real flaw. A guy who is working has a “perceived flaw” by shallow girls who would rather be on government assistance than marry a guy with a chance to pay 4, 5, 6, etc… full tuitions. A real flaw and a perceived flaw are not comparable.
The reason it is a perceived flaw is because I’ve been in the major yeshivos, in the regular systems. Trust me that I know what I’m talking about when I say “perceived flaw” in that someone works. I’d much rather be a hard-working, productive person than be lazy. I am not talking about the real learners. I am talking about those who are officially in seder 8 hours a day and learn 3. That is a 37.5% learning rate (3/8). If someone has a couple of hours in his day and learns every night, that person is far more accomplished.
And according to most theories, a guy who is working and more influenced would seemingly have a harder time accepting a heavy girl. This is not true. No guy in general wants a heavy girl, no matter how yeshivish or not he is.
Learning guys also don’t want heavy. Has nothing to do with this topic.
You read me wrong. I personally don’t think that a heavy girl is flawed nor do I think that a working boy is flawed. I’m just pointing out that some working boys are complaining that they can’t get a date and wouldn’t even consider a heavy girl no matter what good qualities she has.
precisely… this thread is called working boys, not heavy girls…
“Pray tell how dating a certain size makes any difference if one is working or learning.”
If he is working he may be able to afford the upkeep of her size; whereas if he is learning he may not afford so thereby requiring her to downsize.
#I think there should be a mediator for all girls like myself, who want guys like the ones who wrote to this thread. We girls who want working ben torahs, and those working ben torahs are not second class. I once dated someone who was in college, and when telling a friend about it, she yelled at me for “selling myself short” meaning I should go with a learner. It really bothered me, so I spoke to my Rav about it, and he said there is no such thing. There are yissochers and Zevuluns, it’s the way of the world.
And a woman has a right to be at home with her children. I honestly fail to see the beauty of those young girls with three bitty children slaving away with two jobs and running a house with bleary eyes so their husband can learn. It’s been taken out of context, Girls should not be maids!
yes, men should learn, but they also promise at the chuppah to support financially, so please do so!
I agree with you. I can’t see how it would be ideal for kids to be raised by babysitters
Maybe for some, it’s the lesser of two evils.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.