Working bochurim

It isn’t true. Sincere Bnei Torah working bochorim are looked up to and sought after.

I found that quite a number of working boy were not quite as “erenest” in the approach of yiddishkeit, 80% of the bucherim will go to work in something other then chinuch or klay kodesh, I found the majority of the bucherim who learn before and for a 2 years after are much more focused in ruchinus.

I thought that too but then I found out it’s not true at all. People like to make a lot of claims about who are considered second class in Shidduchim and I’m finding out it is mostly just a way of bad mouthing people who use the system. If you are working and have fallen to minimal learning, yes, you will not be a choice to girls who want more than that. And it’s also a problem of people “selling themselves” as really good guys and neglecting to mention the Netflix account on their phones.

If you work, then be clear and honest about where you are holding with your learning and hashkofa and look for a compatible girl. They will be MORE than thrilled to find you. (Same as a learning boy “selling himself” as a long time learner when his heart isn’t in it. But the thread topic was not discussing this)

@The_Real_one, firstly as this is your first post welcome aboard and hope will be an active member,

Now in response to what I said, I wrote that like 20% of the yungerlite who were in yeshiva will go into chinuch and klei kodesh the remainder will work in regular jobs, not saying is good or bad, just a fact.
What I said of that 80% go into regular job the vast majority are much more “erenst” in the approach to life, I am not talking about the products of crowd that hangs out on Rechov Yaffa at night and “shtups der tziyt”.

PS in the interest of full disclosure I was working FT going to college at night and had 4 hours learning seder when I got engaged, a boy who is uneducated, hanging out with bottom feeders and busy on social media all day would not be viewed as a prime catch.

If you live in teh world of action-not just intent- with the Hashkofo of “on 3 things the world stands: and they are not kinah taava and kavod…… if you learn lshaim shomayim, daven for real lshaim shomayim, work lshaim shomayim, and you always work on midos, bain adam lachaveiro and feel a sense of fulfillment and happiness within yourself for trying to live bishlaymus then you ae doing the max hishtadlus for the right shuidduch.

There’s something terribly backwards here, and the system is part of the confusion. It may be nice for someone who has both a daughter and money to seek a boy who would be supported through kollel. It is quite another for boys to implement all the external trappings that they are the targets of these aidem seekers. That’s not their job. And most walk themselves into fantasies that fail them. I have known many of these disappointed souls who are more enamored with the image of the “learning boy” than they are with the learning itself. They should be pursuing wherever life takes them. If their Ahavas Hatorah is noteworthy, the wealthy shver will find him. Otherwise, they may sell themselves into a crash. That’s the backwards system. There is no obligation to make “klai kodesh” a career. Our tanoim and amoraim include a great many whose lifestyle was being “working boys”. Their dedication to learning was not the kollel label. Their product is studied by the “learning boys” of today. We have a label problem that is misdirecting boys and fooling gorls.