Women's Bina Yeseira

R’ Kook on Shelo Asani Ishah

“There are two kinds of souls. Those that make an imprint on life, on themselves and on existence and those that carry that imprint and cause it to grow. There are those that grow through their undertaking of making an impression on themselves and their world and there are those that grow through inspiration which is received from outside themselves. Man is superior in his yearning to create and impress and therefore recites the blessing “Blessed is He … that He did not make me a woman.

“Man however has the distinct disadvantage of being limited to the narrow limitations of his spiritual and physical makeup, which can lead him astray from G-ds ultimate plan. Woman is superior by virtue of her receptivity. This superiority allows her to be impressed and inspired by the all encompassing bounty which G-d created in this world. She therefore recites the blessing “Blessed is He … who has made me according to His will. She can aspire to fulfill G-ds will without turning astray.” (Rabbi A.Y. Kook, Olas Rayah, pps 71-72)

Translation from R’ Yaakov Haber’s TorahLab

Q: If tzitizis and teffillin are so beneficial, why don’t women use them? And what do they have instead?

A: The truth. is women do have it, because when men put tzitzis and tefillin, they’re not putting it on for themselves. That’s absolutely not true. Every father puts on tzitzis and tefllin for all of his children and for his wife, too. There’s no question that tzitzis and tefillin are the property of the Am Yisroel. But, more precisely, the family shares in all the mitzvos. So while he’s putting on tzitzis and tefillin in the shull, let’s say, and his wife is taking care of the children at home, somebody has to remain at home – he couldn’t go to the synagogue if she weren’t home. There’s no question that it’s her tzitzis and her tefillin. That’s the way to understand it. It’s silly otherwise! And when he comes to study Torah in the evening, who will babysit? And, therefore, she has one hundred percent partnership in all that the does.

Q&A: Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller, pp. 189-190.

אגרות משה (אורח חיים ו:ב.ה): מעיר על מה שפירש רש”י שאשה שפחה לבעלה כעבד

]ועיין ברש”י [מנחות מג:] שפירש בפירוש ראשון על הקושיא היינו אשה, דאשה נמי שפחה לבעלה כעבד לרבו. ולולא דמסתפינא הייתי אומר שצריך למחקו דח”ו לרש”י לומר דברי הבל כזה, דמן התורה הא ליכא שום שעבוד על האשה לבעלה חוץ מתשמיש, ולענין תשמיש הוא משועבד לה יותר דהא עליו איכא גם איסור לאו, ורבנן שתיקנו שמעשה ידיה לבעלה הא כנגד זה חייב במזונות ואינה מחוייבת לעשות רק עניני הבית ולא עבודת שדה ומעט עשיה בצמר שהיא מלאכה קלה ממלאכות שדרכן של בנות העיר בזה, עיין בש”ע אהע”ז ריש סיי פ,’ והמזונות מחוייב שלא לגרוע מכפי דרך משפחתה ודרך משפחתו ובכל אופן לא פחות מכפי שהוא אוכל, וכן שמחוייב בכסות לפי מנהג בנות העיר ולפי דרך המשפחות שלו ושלה דעולה עמו ואינה יורדת עמו ומחוייב לכבדה ואינו יכול לילך מביתו בלא רשותה רק למלאכתו הידוע לה, והבעל אדרבה מחוייב לעשות כל המלאכות שצריך האדם לפרנסה כלשון שתיקנו לכתוב בכתובה, ואף להשכיר עצמו סברי התוסי בשם רי אליהו בכתובות דף ס”ג ד”ה באומר שהוא מחוייב, ונמצא שאדרבה הוא יותר עבד לה מכפי שהיא שפחתו

What I said was that men are spiritually superior in certain spiritual aspects of life and women are spiritually superior in certain other spiritual aspects of life.

A. Let me ask you: Why do men wear yarmulkes? The answer is because Hakadosh Baruch Hu declared, “Atem tehiyu Ii mamleches kohanim ve’goy kadosh,” the Jewish people is to be a nation of exalted Kohanim. As we are well aware, a cap was among the four begadim that the Kohanim were required to wear; it was called a para hamigvaos. It is for this reason that we, too, wear yarmulkes and hats on our heads – to remind ourselves that we are a nation of Kohanim. In ancient times, it wasn’t necessary to wear a yarmulke, for little time had elapsed since Hashem had uttered His eternal declaration. Each and every Jew identified fully with this concept and viewed himself as a Kohen. But as the generations progressed and hundreds of years passed by, there were some Jews that began to forget their status as Kohanim. On account of this, Jews began to place yarmulkes on their heads as reminders. In the morning, we recite the berachah “Oter Yisrael be’tifarah,” thanking Hashem for crowning us with splendor. This berachah refers to the head coverings worn by Jewish men. Notice that the words tifarah and “para” migvaos share the same root. This is because the yarmulkes and hats that we don each day are meant to be reminders of our status as Kohanim and servants of Hashem! By wearing a yarmulke we show that we are yirei Shamayim and loyal servants of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

It is important for girls to know that leadership rests in the hands of their husbands. This is a very important lesson! Let us think about this for a moment: As we know, men are commanded to perform mitzvos asei she’haz’man grama, time-bound mitzvos. Women, on the other hand, are not required to perform these mitzvos. What is the reason for this difference? The answer is that women have other important obligations to tend to, which exempt her from these commandments. A woman must know that she is a briah shel chessed, she has been created for the purpose of performing chessed. Being a wife and mother is a very significant role, and it requires her to be selfless and totally dedicated to performing chessed! It takes a woman’s entire effort to succeed in being an efficient mother and wife. Investing her abilities in raising children is very time consuming but is a tremendous zechus for her! The Gemara goes so far as to tell us that the zechus of a woman is greater than the zechus of a man. Why is that? Because on occasion a man will do a certain mitzvah for the sake of kavod, in order to gain prestige. Women, however, don’t have any chance to show off, as they are always in their homes and tending to important things. It is for this reason that the zechus of a woman is greater than that of a man, and it therefore stands to reason that a man has to work much harder in order to be found zocheh in the eyes of Hashem. Now, of course, a woman is considered kadosh, holy; every Jew is a kadosh. But she has a different role than a man, and she must realize that. Don’t try to be an Orthodox feminist and do all of the same things that men do! Your job is to be a kosher Jewish woman who serves Hashem in the way that He intended! You must get married, have children, and raise them in the derech haTorah that they should grow to be decent frum Jews! What a tremendous accomplishment that would be! If you do this, you will one day sit on a golden throne in Gan Eden and reap a reward that is no less than any man! Just do it the way a woman is supposed to do it, that’s all. Just remember: A man puts on a yarmulke or a hat in order to resemble a Kohen who served Hashem in the Beis Hamikdash. A woman also has a beis hamikdash – her home. In that beis hamikdash, she needn’t wear a yarmulke – her snood is good enough! This is a woman’s role in mamleches kohanim, and it is Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s assurance that if a woman serves Him like she is supposed to, she will receive as great a share in Olam Haba as any man.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller Speaks, pp. 271-3

“The foremost distinguishing characteristic bestowed upon
man is his Divine image, his tzelem Elohim, which denotes
particular qualitative endowments, such as a moral sense, free
will, and intellect. Man partakes of these attributes within
human limitations, while God’s representation of these qualities is absolute. Maimonides embodied man’s likeness to God pri- marily in terms of his intellect (Guide 1: 1). This Divine gift was given to both men and women. “And God created man with His image. In the image of God, He created him; male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27).7 In their spiritual natures, they were equally worthy.”

R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik Man of Faith in the Modern World, p. 84

Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim IV #49

Regarding the distinguished (Jewish) ladies who are fighting along with women of the nations of the world in their (social) movement. These (Jewish) ladies are observant of Torah and want to bring their fight to matters of relevance to Jewish law. Some (of these ladies) pray with tallaisim and so on. They seek my view in this matter and how the rabbi of the shul should handle the matter.

Firstly, you must know that it is an essential matter of faith in our Torah that the written and oral Torah was given by The Holy One Himself at Mount Sinai through Moshe Rabbanu, o”h. It is impossible to change even one point (of the Torah) whether to be more strict or to be more lenient. But we were commanded that when there is a time to establish precautionary measures, it is incumbent on the Sanhedrin and the sages of the Torah to do so, by prohibiting certain things. They also may obligate others. They (the sages) must make it very clear that these are rabbinical obligations. Since our dispersion to foreign lands, we lack the power (to make such enactments). However, the wise men of every region (have the power) to make enactments only for their region and only for a short time.

In view of this, the exemption of women from positive time bound commandments is a (decree) of the Torah. Also, the Rabbis never obligated women (in these commandments) since there is no reason to do so. Indeed, there is a reason to exempt women from these commandments specifically for the reasons that the Torah exempts them.

And besides the reasons for the Torah which are unknown to regular people and to the great scholars, and we are required to believe that there are great reasons of Hashem who gave the Torah, (besides this), there are (non-ultimate) reasons revealed to everyone. (In the matter of the exemption of women from positive time bound mitzvahs) the average woman is not wealthy and has responsibility to raise sons and daughters. This (task) is most important work for Hashem and His Torah and so Hashem made each species so that the woman should raise the offspring. Humans are no exception. The nature of women enables them to raise children. Along those lines, it (the burden) was made easier on the women by not requiring them to learn Torah and to perform positive time bound mitzvahs.

(However) even if the order of the world were to change and all women were wealthy all the time and it were possible to give over the children to men and women (to raise them as is done) in our country, the Torah’s law cannot change and neither can that of the Rabbis. It is useless to fight this. Even with the agreement of the entire world, there is no power to change (the Torah) one iota. The women who stubbornly wage war to make such changes are committing heresy.

Women are permitted to perform (certain) commandments for which they are not obligated and receive divine reward for such performance. And also according to the view of Tosfos, (women) are permitted to make a blessing (on such commandments) as is our custom. (It is our custom also for women to be permitted) to fulfill the commandments of shofar and luluv and to make blessings (on these). Therefore, concerning tzitzis, a woman who wants can dress in a garment not designed for men, as long as this garment has four corners to it, and attach tzitzis to fulfill this commandment.

Concerning the wearing of tfellin, Tosfos writes in Eruvin 96, divray hamaskil: myachal, that (this commandment) should not be performed (by women). Tfellin requires tremendous care to keep the body in (halachic) cleanliness and to focus one’s attention. For this reason even men who are obligated in tfellin limit their wearing (of tfellin) from all day to during morning prayers. The Rema holds similarly (Choshen Mishpat, 98:3). Targum Yonason, on the verse: “There should not be a man’s clothing on a woman” (holds) that (women should not wear) tzitzis or tfellin since they are garments of men. Tosfos does not believe there to be such a Targum Yonason. This (performance of non-obligatory commandments by a woman) applies only if her soul yearns to perform the commandment even though she is not commanded. (It is another matter) if her intention is to protest against the Holy One and His Torah. Such a posture is not congruent with the performance of a commandment. Indeed, it is a forbidden act and an act of apostasy. Since (such a woman) is trying to amend Torah law.

You should know that all of this (the exemption of women from positive time bound commandments) is not because women are on a lower level of holiness than are men. While obligation in commandments results strictly from one’s having holiness, men and women, in that sense, are equal in holiness. All the verses in the Torah regarding holiness refer also to women. (This applies from) the beginning (with) the arrangement to receive the Torah (at Sinai). “You’ll be to me a treasure and you’ll be to me a holy nation.” Exodus 19:6. (The subject of this verse is all of the nation of Israel) as it says “house of Jacob” in referring to the women and “tell to the house of Israel” in referring to the men. Exodus 19:3.

Therefore women also include in their blessings the words “you have sanctified us with your commandments.” (Women do this) even when performing commandments for which they are not obligated. (The exclusion of women from positive time bound commandments) is a leniency made by Hashem for his own reasons and not because of any diminution (regarding the women) Heaven forbid. We explained this earlier.

And concerning the obligations between husband and wife, a husband is obligated to treat his wife with respect and a wife is obligated to treat her husband with respect. (Furthermore) many women were prophetesses and subject to the same laws concerning prophets as were the men (prophets). In many matters, women were praised more than the men by the (written) Torah and by the Rabbis. There is no denigration in their (women’s) respect in their exemption from the learning of Torah and positive time-bound commandments. There is no reason to have any gripes.

The distinguished rabbi (of the congregation in question) should explain this every time and be strong and firm in his knowledge that this is all a matter of the Torah and he should correct these women. And after all this if (these women) still stand in their incorrect and stubborn view, (the rabbi) should not allow a single change in the holy customs of Israel.

I end with a blessing for true peace and a good writing and sealing for a good year for the distinguished rabbi and to all that is his, to the whole holy congregation, the men, the women, and the children.

Not all men are married either. So our brocha is that the unmarried women should marry the unmarried men.

What if someone doesn’t like his wife, does he ship her out with a Get? Of course not. He should work on liking her. Same there. Those who have trouble finding people they like should work on themselves to start liking more people.

We should daven they should all have a refuah. Some men can’t put on tefilin. Some people have permanent medical conditions that prevent them from ever fulfilling certain things. They’re anusim. We should pray for them all.

Of course.

If they live in their parents home it resides in their father as the head of household. If they live alone they call their own shots.