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Must a married Jewish woman always wear her wedding ring when in public?
Yes, she must wear it in public. If she doesn’t have them with her, she must wear a sign on her back that she is married. If that’s not an option, she’s not allowed to go out in public.
Oh wait! I thought women are not allowed to go out in public regardless.
Yes, she needs to. Us men do not have the ability to shed our ring (the one around our throat or ankle, depending on your sentence) when going outside, so why should she have a greater degree of freedom?
I wish there was a “Like” button in the CR. If there were, I would have clicked it for computer777’s post.
BPT: Why do you characterize her leaving home without the ring as “freedom”?
Marriage is a three ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring
and suffering.
To answer your question, the minhag has always been that the woman wears the first 2 rings and the man wears the 3rd one.
My very first day at work in corporate America. The woman in the cube next to me is trying to make small talk. Where are you from, do you have family, married etc.., basic stuff. I mentioned I was married. she looked at my hand and asked what happened to my ring. I explained that many Orthodox Jewish males do not wear a wedding band. Her response caught me off guard. “How do you keep yourself from getting into trouble?”, she wanted to know.
“freedom”?
Its a joke among married men. Its the idea that if we had not gotten tied down, we could have…
But like I said, its a joke. I’m not sure if women joke this way as well (come to think of it, they probably don’t) but I assure you, ring or not, the way you act (and react) in public should tell people loud and clear if you are married or not.
Much the way your actions should tell people if you a frum jew or not
Apushatayid so what is the answer how do u stay out of trouble?
Apushta: R’ Schachter uses a similar S’vara to say that married men should wear wedding rings in the workplace (but only in the workplace). Because then most (or at least more than otherwise) of the women there will leave you alone.
what if she lost her ring?
Unmarried people shouldn’t be acting any differently to opposite genders in the workplace or street than a married person should be acting with an opposite gender.
Yes, I think so. Good reminder for her AND for others, that she is married.
The wearing of the wedding ring is actually a goyish custom which serves no function since in our community married women wear distinctive clothing (head coverings) that serve the function of indicating if they are available.
Practically, since in our community almost all women gain weight shortly after marriage (when they get pregnant, which, Baruch ha-Shem, is routine among us), I doubt most married women could get their wedding ring on very easily unless they have it re-set (and since our rings are plain gold – unlike the goyim’s which are much fancier, that’s not too practical).
laytzonay hador omrim -“Marriage is a three ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring
and suffering.”
Then comes another ring for men. Ever hear the expression -“Let freedom ring through out the land”? This occurs after the Man gives her a divorce.
apushatayid – That’s exactly why I think men should also wear rings, if not at least when mingling with the general populace.
Men are prohibited from wearing a ring, as it is a female article of clothing. Secondly, Jewish men never wore rings througout history. Don’t try to be wiser than 3,000+ years of our zeidas.
Health- 2 Thumbs Up!
Shmoel: Yitay has a major Posek behind him. There is definitely no Issur of Begged Ishah by a ring (and a wedding ring in particular) since many men wear them nowadays. And Yosef Hatzadik and Mordechai would disagree with your claim that Jewish men never wore . Also, see M”B 161:19 where it’s almost B’feirush that men wear rings.
Shmodl
you don’t know what men wore 100 years ago let alone 3000
shmoel –
Men are prohibited from wearing a ring, as it is a female article of clothing.
Men are not prohibited from wearing a ring, since it is not a female article of clothing.
Secondly, Jewish men never wore rings througout history. Don’t try to be wiser than 3,000+ years of our zeidas.
Unless you’re talking b’davka about wedding bands, you’ve got quite an interesting version of history. Of course men wore rings, there are pesukim, mishnayos, and gemaras about men’s rings. Even if you’re talking about wedding rings b’davka, what shaychis being wiser? Maybe we shouldn’t filter our kids’ internet because hey, did the last 3,000+ years of our zeidas filter their kids’ internet? Are we wiser than them?
“Jewish men never wore rings througout history”
Are you sure about this? Because I was told that MB states that if a man forgot to take off his ring for netilas yodaim, it is not considered a chatzitza (so apparently, men did wear rings at some point)
“The wearing of the wedding ring is actually a goyish custom”
Actually, the Sefer HaChinuch writes that, while according to Halacha Kiddushin can be performed with any marginally valuable item, the custom is to utilize a ring. The reason he gives is that it serves as a “constant reminder” to her status.
While not a Psak Halacha, it does indicate that he considers it appropriate for a woman to ALWAYS wear her wedding ring! Certainly he does not see it as merely a “Goyishe custom”, and he was a Rishon.
hello99, Thanks for that mekor.
If anyone truly needs a “constant reminder” that they are married, then they have far worse issues than the question of whether or not they should wear a ring.
The Wolf
So you disagree with the Sefer HaChinuch?
Wolf – I think it’s not so much a reminder for the spouse as it is for others s/he comes into contact with.
yitay: It isn’t “s/he”, it is she. The SHC certainly is only referring to women wearing a ring. Also, it isn’t any less of a “constant reminder” to the spouse as it is to those she comes into contact with. It is a reminder to both.
“The wearing of the wedding ring is actually a goyish custom which serves no function since in our community married women wear distinctive clothing (head coverings) that serve the function of indicating if they are available.”
many many married women do NOT wear a head covering, and many head covering are only noticed as such withing the frum community. (how many discussions have there been here about sheitels that look so natural?)
“Practically, since in our community almost all women gain weight shortly after marriage (when they get pregnant, which, Baruch ha-Shem, is routine among us), I doubt most married women could get their wedding ring on very easily unless they have it re-set (and since our rings are plain gold – unlike the goyim’s which are much fancier, that’s not too practical).”
that is a VERY big assumption, and a terrible one to make at that. so many women DONT get pregnant right away, and even for those who do weight significant weight gain is NOT a given. many women suffer from SEVER morning sickness, to the point that they need to be hospitalized and cant function. for those who DO get pregnant right away, there is no reason to assume that their fingers will swell up. i b”h have three children and have only had to take my rings off during one pregnancy for the last month.
in the future please refrain from making assumptions like the ones above which could really (inadvertently) hurt someone.
akuperma nice to see you here again. Head covering on a woman does not mean that she is married. It only means that she was once married but she may not be any more, whereas engagement and wedding rings mean she is currently married.
So you disagree with the Sefer HaChinuch?
I didn’t agree or disagree with anyone. I made an observation.
Yes, I know that in some circles, having the ability to make an independent observation is the sign of the worst sort of spiritual corruption. That’s fine… I never claimed to be anything other than utterly spiritually corrupt.
(And, yes, I’m also fully aware of the fact that I didn’t rush to affirm what the Sefer HaChinuch said [i.e. the fact that I said that I didn’t agree or disagree in my previous post] also makes me an apikorus as well.)
The Wolf
Nonetheless, as far the OP’s question goes, the answer is clearly no — no one says she *must* wear her wedding ring in public or in private. Whether she should is debatable, but there is clearly no issur involved with not wearing one.
The Wolf
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