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This is a personal issue. But It is something that has been bothering me for along time. Why is the Torah against the males
and put them into an impossible situation.
A women has the right not to work. She has the right to stay home and be taken care of.
A women has the right too enter in to Contracts
A women has the right to open a bank account
A women has the right to spend money as she pleases.
I am having a very hard time making sense of all 4.
As based on this a Women could go out one day enter into a bunch of contracts, right checks that cant be cover, and withdraw and spend all the money in a bank account, and then turn around and say. I am not responsible for covering any of these debts, as i dont have to work.
If someone could help me understand this it would be very appreciated
Oh, I thought you meant because she made her husband take out the garbage.
Also, at least three of your four assumptions are wrong, but more important at this point than a lesson in hilchos kesubah, I think you and your wife need marriage counseling. Good luck.
Chanan:- You definitely are Potur from ever reciting the Benediction “Shelo Osani Isho” ever again, as not making a sincere Benediction is tantamount to a Berocho Sh’Eino Tzericho.
The implication of your first point is that she can sit at home and expect to be treated like a queen on her throne. Although she doesn’t need to get a 9-5 office job, and it’s the husband’s contractual obligation to support, there is a certain obligation on her part. The gemara talks about spinning thread.
Your other points all seem to indicate that you feel the Torah gives her the right to completely take over the finances, and obligate you to large amounts of debt . While it is assumed that a wife can take care of normal household expenses, and it’s unhealthy for a husband to micromanage her expenditures, you present it (and maybe I’m reading this wrong) as if she is causing serious financial harm, and I don’t know if this is your skewed perspective or her irresponsibility, but it certainly isn’t the Torah’s fault.
I hope your counselling can help you both understand the other’s point of view. and help you come to reasonable expectations of each other.
If you are following the Gemara’s standard then she actually has no access no the bank accounts. In fact, even when she makes money she is supposed to hand it over to him. This is because the financial responsibility is his. He is Mechuyav to give her money for all her needs.
This is a partnership and she has a right to say that she’ll rather take care of her own expenses, in which case she keeps her wages and he doesn’t have to give her money for her needs.
Most families these days treat it like equal partners while one is more in charge of the checkbook.
Someone who doesn’t expend much effort on making the money can’t grasp the issue with spending what you have. On the other hand, it is easy to dismiss someone else’s needs or strong desires as extra and unnecessary. When both of you are more aware of the other’s inner feelings you will be able to make more informed decisions.
OP,
I fail to see how any of those 4 show a “bias against males”?
If you feel that a “Right” of a woman automatically equals a bias against her husband, there is something seriously warped with your views.
OP-
I am too upset by your warped views to argue them. Just know that you need major help. asap.
Sorry if I was too harsh, but I really feel bad for your wife and kids.
No one is allowed to enter into contracts which they can’t fulfill. But a man should not be stingy or micromanaging with his wife. A wife will not be happy if she feels she is not able to buy what she needs to be, or if she is criticized and micromanaged.
Please do your wife and yourself a favor and read Garden of Peace by R’ Shalom Arush. It works.
You can’t buy what you need to be, unfortunately.
Why is the Torah against the males and put them into an impossible situation.
Eh?
A women has the right not to work.
How does this harm men?
She has the right to stay home and be taken care of.
In the context of marriage, which, when healthy, is as beneficial (if not more so) to men as to women.
A women has the right too enter in to Contracts
So does a man, where’s the bias?
A women has the right to open a bank account
So does a man, and how do secular laws governing bank accounts reflect on the Torah?
A women has the right to spend money as she pleases.
I’m not sure that is accurate, and even if so, a man does too, so where is the bias?
I am having a very hard time making sense of all 4.
What doesn’t make sense?
As based on this a Women could go out one day enter into a bunch of contracts,
I’m not sure that is an accurate statement.
right checks that cant be cover,
That would be illegal under secular law.
and withdraw and spend all the money in a bank account, and then turn around and say. I am not responsible for covering any of these debts, as i dont have to work.
That is certainly not true.
HaLeivi, I meant “buy what she needs to buy.” Sorry.
I am not responsible for covering any of these debts, as i dont have to work
She may not have to work (can’t be sold as an eved ivri), but she does have to sell her possessions to cover debts…
Definitely complaining Against G-d’s Law is a great sin. Even Abraham did not complain.
But Chanan’s complaints are not alone. In this day and age thousands of women complain that Torah laws are biased against females. Millions of Noachites claim that Tanach (Old Testament) is biased against females.
As men can do three out of four of those things, I fail to see the bias, even were I to actually accept your premise. And as women are nowadays expected by yeshivish MEN to provide the family income while the men sit in Kollel all day, I fail to even see the validity of your number one claim. I sincerely hope you and your spouse can clear up the issues that appear to be the catalyst for your comment.
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