Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Why I won't let my kids do ?????
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July 24, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #1186742popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Giggle:
I sorry, I didn’t realize that was what you were saying.
I agree that is a good idea. And I would like to see that happen. I think I was more speaking to the way things are now. And as they are now, people are being mistreated. That is all I am saying.
July 24, 2011 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1186743metrodriverMemberPoppa Bar Abba; FWIW. I’m extremely disappointed with you. Because up until this time, all your posts displayed both, knowledge and logic. I’ve been to many Shuls in my lifetime and in no place did I ever observe that “Gelilah” is given to Nebs, as such. As many posters pointed out that the reason gelilah is given to children is because this is one Mitzvah that they could perform, as opposed to an Aliyah which requires one to be Bar Mitzvah. Your perception must be mistaken. Or you encountered one crazy Gabbai who had this thing against old Bochurim and figured that they’re no good for anything else.
July 24, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #1186744popa_bar_abbaParticipantmetro: Thank you for saying that.
On this topic: I’m not making it up. Look around come bein hazmanin when the yeshiva people come home.
Tallis= aliya
no tallis= gellila
Maybe your shul is different. I truly hope it is. I hope it really is only the shuls I have been to who do this.
July 24, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #1186745giggle girlParticipantpopa – i’m so glad you now understand!
please continue to try to understand the meanings in other people’s posts as well.
July 24, 2011 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #1186746ZeesKiteParticipantHi Popa. It’s me – I’m the neb. The live and kicking real one.
Anyway’s permite me the neb to recall to you a story some time ago. It was when David Hamelech was dancing ferociously, vigorously in front of the Aron, it was too much for Michal to bear. HaShem sided with David hamelech. When it comes to Kovod haTorah, we are bidden to put our petty issues aside and give honour to HaShem and His Torah. I think there’s a Rambam that says this. I’m not so fluent in Seforim as you are (Rav d’Bais Medrash d’Starbucks aitzel Hanahar)
July 24, 2011 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #1186747Boro Park GirlMemberI can’t understand why it should be degrading to a young child!
My brothers always came rushing home to tell us after they were given either hagbah or galila- and no my brothers are not nebs!
It is considered very special for a young boy in our shul to get this kavod as it is usually given to bachurim- not older ones, just regular teenagers.
I realize now how thankful I should be that we daven in a shul that truly honors its members and the torah!
July 24, 2011 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #1186748deiyezoogerMemberThe Point here is not whether one should accept glillah, its about giving the same honor for someone who is still not married.
July 24, 2011 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #1186749popa_bar_abbaParticipantzeeskite:
That is a good point. ??????? ??? ????.
And I suppose you are correct, that the proper thing to do is to accept to do it, to honor Hashem and the torah. I suppose I am really more criticizing the congregation who makes it this way.
(Yes everyone, that was my point the whole time. As zeidy said.)
March 28, 2013 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #1186750popa_bar_abbaParticipantToday in shul, the alta bochur hayadua (I can’t keep listing his shvachos or it will become too long) was there. The gabbai motioned from the bima for him to do g’lila. So he shook his head no.
So the gabbai calls: You won’t do g’lila?
And he calls back: That’s what I just said.
(It may have been a different alta bochur, but this one was pretty boss too.)
March 28, 2013 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #1186751ItcheSrulikMemberIn my shul we give hagba to the nebbachs, but we have a good reason. We only give it to the one particular nebbach who forgets that he has to bentch gomel until after the last aliya was called up.
March 29, 2013 12:30 am at 12:30 am #1186752BronyParticipantpupa, happy to see you have begun using my lingo. i appreciate u homie.
March 29, 2013 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #1186753ChortkovParticipantI went somewhere on yom tov where a bochur was the gabbai, and he gave me gelilah (I was the youngest person there actually and he didn’t want to give it to anybody older than him) – and the gabbai camer over to me afterwards and APOLOGIZED.
March 29, 2013 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #1186754Oh Shreck!ParticipantI can’t understand why honoring the Torah – ????? should be a dishonor to one. Why should one need to apologize?!? I’d do it gladly. Over and over again. I’d grab the zchus with both hands.
March 29, 2013 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #1186755Yserbius123ParticipantI’m the default gabbai in a small ba’al habatisch weekday minyan. Finding someone to do glila is the fourth most difficult thing. The three most difficult are, in ascending order:
- Pesicha
- Hagbah
- Mussaf on Rosh Chodesh/Chol HaMoed
This is entirely due to the fact that pretty much everyone books once kedusha is done.
March 31, 2013 1:53 pm at 1:53 pm #1186756NaftushMemberA good way for a gabbai to remove stigma from giving kids gelila is to give pre-mitzvah kids all functions that they are allowed to do, and to give bnei mitzvah everything they can handle. That makes it a matter of hinukh as opposed to vying for kavod. I saw this done 30 years ago in a YI shul in southern Israel, and today only the old members of the shul are left … because the young ones built their own frum neighborhood.
March 31, 2013 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #1186757popa_bar_abbaParticipantThey say that when the students don’t understand, it means the teacher is not good. After 2 years, still only a couple of posters understands this thread. I guess I’m not as good at this as I thought.
If you still don’t get it, and still think that I have a problem with giving kids gelila, go back and read zeidy’s post from the bottom of page one.
March 31, 2013 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #1186758rebdonielMemberIn my experience, men like getting any kind of honor. OTOH, we have many American and Russian men who aren’t frum, but they are proud to come to shul and make a minyan, and they are even more proud to have a kibbud.
March 31, 2013 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #1186760yaff80ParticipantANALAGY: Rolls Royce is considered an expensive luxurious car. Imagine a garbage collector is given a Rolls, would that diminish its chashivus in any way? Would the wealthy owner of a roller be upset to the degree that he would dispose of his car permanently?
We have a “rolls royce” that is “driven” by Am Yisroel. Just cause a few feel that it is driven by “less privilaged”, does that take away from its chashivus?
Ashrenu mah tov chelkeinu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gut Yom Tov
March 31, 2013 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #1186761reenmasheenMemberdoes anywhere know where the gemara is that says hagolel notel schar kulam?
March 31, 2013 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #1186762popa_bar_abbaParticipantdoes anywhere know where the gemara is that says hagolel notel schar kulam?
Which proves my point exactly. Why do you think the golel takes all their schar? I could understand if he just got more than them, but why does he even get their schar and they get nothing?
Because they were mevazeh him in front of the whole shul. That’s why.
March 31, 2013 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1186763sw33tMemberI only skimmed this, but it seems that not one person commeted on the usage of the word “nebs” to describe older singles…
but i suppose that was point of the thread to begin with…
March 31, 2013 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #1186764HIEParticipantthe Gemara that says this in Megila Daf Lamed Beis Amud alef. 32a.
April 3, 2013 2:03 am at 2:03 am #1186765147ParticipantHow about utilizing a Wimple for Gelilo?
It shall then be a huge honor for anyone performing Gelilo, and it evades all potential knots on Shabbos & Yom Tov, as a Wimple can never run into knotting issues.
April 3, 2013 12:12 pm at 12:12 pm #1186766GG yekkeMemberI am very proud to say i got Gelilah over Yom Tov 4 times and once on Shabos Hagodol in a different Shul.
April 3, 2013 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #1186767TheGoqParticipantPopa is absolutely correct as a much older single i have received gelilah all too often its like the gabbai is saying well you aren’t man enough to deserve an aliyah but i have to give you something because you are here this is one of the reasons i rarely go to shul.
April 3, 2013 2:41 pm at 2:41 pm #1186768popa_bar_abbaParticipantI am very proud to say i got Gelilah over Yom Tov 4 times and once on Shabos Hagodol in a different Shul.
neb
April 3, 2013 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #1186769Jewish TeenMemberI don’t understand why anyone would think ????? is given to the nebs. In yeshiva everyone wants to do ????? but most of the time its the “cool guys” who get it
April 3, 2013 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #1186770BronyParticipantthanks for telling us you go to some chofetz chaim in kansas dude
April 3, 2013 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #11867712scentsParticipantWhich means that the cool guys are really considered to be nebs..
April 3, 2013 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #1186772Torah613TorahParticipantCan a person tell the gabbai that it bothers them, so he won’t do it to other people?
April 3, 2013 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #1186773funnyboneParticipantI am married with kids. This week the gabbai honored me by giving me gelilah. When I was done, I politely shook his hand and thanked him for the honor. I considered it as a gift, which is what it was.
Anyone who is ungrateful is undeserving.
April 3, 2013 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #1186774popa_bar_abbaParticipantthanks for telling us you go to some chofetz chaim in kansas dude
This.
I am married with kids. This week the gabbai honored me by giving me gelilah. When I was done, I politely shook his hand and thanked him for the honor. I considered it as a gift, which is what it was.
neb
April 3, 2013 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #1186775DaMosheParticipantOn the last day of Pesach, an unmarried guy got maftir. He was wearing a tallis, but only because he was also the baal koreh.
An unmarried guy got hagbah (and put on a tallis for it). A married guy got gelilah.
I once bought hagbah & gelilah in shul on Yom Tov and gave gelilah to my grandfather. I would have given him hagbah, but he was in his mid 80s and wasn’t able to do hagbah anymore. I tried to get him an aliyah, but I was a bachur, and couldn’t afford it.
I don’t think the married guy in my shul yesterday or my grandfather were nebs. I think popa is the biggest neb, for making a joke out of something which is a real kibbud. He comes here pretending to be a Rabbi and creates bad trolling threads. I feel bad for his wife and kids.
April 3, 2013 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #1186776popa_bar_abbaParticipantCan a person tell the gabbai that it bothers them, so he won’t do it to other people?
Are you kidding? What do you think, that the gabbai is clueless? That he doesn’t know who he gives which kibbudim to? Do you think he “just happens” to give the married sons aliyos and their older brothers gelila when they all come for pesach?
April 3, 2013 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #1186777popa_bar_abbaParticipantDaMoshe’s grandpa is a neb.
April 3, 2013 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #1186778DaMosheParticipantMy grandfather went through the horrors of Auschwitz and stayed frum, despite the fact that many of his relatives who survived swore off Judaism after what they went through. He established a family in America who are all frum, and his children and grandchildren include sofrim, Rabbonim, and those who are like he was – good, frum Jews who are honest in their daily business dealings, and strive to make a kiddush Hashem wherever they go and whatever they do.
To call him a neb is a huge insult, and you should beg mechilah!
April 3, 2013 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #1186779popa_bar_abbaParticipantDude: This whole thread is satire (although intended to make a serious point, which most responders including you completely missed).
I think I fairly didn’t expect you to get insulted after you pretty clearly asked me to call your grandfather a neb. And I don’t know how it could insult him when I haven’t any clue of anything about him except that his grandson bought the kibbudim and gave him gelila.
But you are insulted. So, I apologize.
April 3, 2013 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #1186780yytzParticipant“Popa is absolutely correct as a much older single i have received gelilah all too often its like the gabbai is saying well you aren’t man enough to deserve an aliyah but i have to give you something because you are here this is one of the reasons i rarely go to shul.”
I’m sorry to hear that, Goq — that’s sad. Maybe you could find another shul that deals with honors differently?
I think this is the reason why some people like Chabad kiruv shuls. In my experience they just give honors to everybody with no apparent pattern.
April 3, 2013 9:34 pm at 9:34 pm #1186781GG yekkeMemberPopa when was the last time you got Gelilah?
April 4, 2013 12:52 am at 12:52 am #1186782nfgo3MemberTo Jewish Teen: I agree that gelila is fine, and I am happy to get it whenever it is offered.
I am fascinated to learn that there are “cool guys” in yeshiva. Please tell me what makes them cool.
April 4, 2013 1:58 am at 1:58 am #1186783BronyParticipantyo check dis: one time i got psicha, and den the gabbi forgot and gave me hagba too. i had to run so fast lol i looked like a flying tallis. u shoulda seen me wylin while doin dat hagba.
April 4, 2013 2:02 am at 2:02 am #1186784sharpMemberBrony, Are you sure he “forgot”?
April 4, 2013 2:29 am at 2:29 am #1186785popa_bar_abbaParticipantPopa when was the last time you got Gelilah?
At my regular shul, there are only a few people who come during the week, so we all do all the kibbudim all the time. I do gelila quite often, and get aliyos, and do psicha. But I don’t do hagbah because it is too heavy for me.
April 4, 2013 2:38 am at 2:38 am #1186786☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI am fascinated to learn that there are “cool guys” in yeshiva. Please tell me what makes them cool.
They don’t do gellilah.
April 4, 2013 3:03 am at 3:03 am #1186787Jewish TeenMemberThey do hagbah and gellilah and when I say “cool guys” I mean the guys who are chosen first for sports
April 4, 2013 3:44 am at 3:44 am #1186788not so yishivishMemberI never posted in the coffee room cause i never felt anything was smart enough, but popa you nailed it. I always feel like a neb when getting galilah, but I feel like a bigger neb not taking it when the gabbai offers it to me.
Thank You for such insightful critique of our Gabbaus system
April 4, 2013 3:57 am at 3:57 am #1186789popa_bar_abbaParticipantnow this is nachas.
April 4, 2013 6:03 am at 6:03 am #1186790frumnotyeshivishParticipantpba: we give honors based on our perception of status. Are you saying this isn’t correct behavior, or that marriage shouldn’t play a part in status?
April 4, 2013 11:01 am at 11:01 am #1186791☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI would ask frumnotyeshivish’s question a bit differently: is this not a critique on a lot more than merely our gabbaus system?
April 4, 2013 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #1186792popa_bar_abbaParticipantfrumnot: We can certainly talk about what the basis for giving out kibbudim ought to be, and what factors should go into figuring out that.
But I don’t think we need any precise definitions and factors to talk about whether this is wrong. It is far over whichever line you are going to draw.
So by all means, feel free to start a thread about that, and we’ll bicker and argue as we usually do. But it isn’t going to be very relevant to this.
DY: I don’t know if that is frumnot’s question, but I think the answer to your question is: yes.
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